RoninChaos
04-30-2006, 03:42 AM
So yeah, Final Round 9 was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I'm writing this to give you guys an idea of what you missed, and what goes on at one of these events because Final Round is really unlike any tournament I've ever been to.
Basically, every year I usually have a grip of people stay at my house, I help run Final Round, I usually get drunk, and shennanigans ensue the entire weekend.
This Final Round was no different. In fact, it had a TWIST. Multiple twists. But we'll get to that.
Friday- I wake up... hell, I don't know when I woke up. But I woke up. And it was glorious.
Wait wait, that's not right. 5 am. Koop txt messages me and tells me he's on his way. Originally he was supposed to get here right around 8 or 9 in the a.m. I couldn't sleep so I stayed up. He did not get here at 8 or 9 in the a.m. I'm guessing Koop stole somebody's car keys and they didn't get underway until he messaged me.
Anyway. I'm upso I call him back. He says they're in like Virginia, which means they won't be getting to the house for a while. He asks if I woke him up, I tell him no, we talk for a minute and then hang up. I go lay back down, and try to get some sleep, but can't. The meds I'm on fuck my sleep schedule UP, son! It's bananas! Tell your momma about it!
Anyway, Koop calls me at like 3pm and wakes me up with the words "WE'RE IN ATLANTA NIGGA, WE'RE ON YOUR STREET, WHERE DO WE GO?!" So I start asking him questions trying to figure out why he's yelling at me, calling me "nigga" and where he's at. Turns out he's yelling cause he's excited, I'm his "nigga fo' real" and he's on the other fucking side of town.
I get my roommate on the phone, (I woke his punk ass up) he gives him directions to get on the right side of town, and we wait. I go back to sleep. My roommate apparently tried to go back to sleep, but he sleeps all the time anyway, so fuck him. The guy has a headache EVERY day. Like a woman. It's sad. The guy needs a Motrin-Migraine I.V. Every time I see him he's got that bottle in his hand. It's amazing.
So I try to go back to sleep. It doesn't work. I get up like 30 minutes later and Cool-Breeze is playing Third Strike in the living room. I can't sleep with all the tapping from the buttons so I get up, and try to find some cereal.
I call Koop, turns out they're stuck in traffic. I pretend to be shocked. I think he bought it.
Septimus Prime was supposed to come but he made some excuse about being at an asian pride parade. Sucks for him.
I didn't find any cereal. That kinda sucked.
Koop gets to the house about 6 ish, and turns out it's not just him and Unreallystic, but also his brother Marcus. Koop did not tell me about Marcus. It's obvious Koop is trying to get back at me for being "The White Man", which made no sense to me since he already told me I was his "nigga". The house is already packed, but hey, I don't give a fuck. The more the merrier. Plus it makes it look like I love minorities considering I was the only white guy at the house the entire weekend (Fuck you, BobSmack).
So Koop, Unreal, and Marcus all want something to eat. They need money first. So we jump in the car (Me, Koop, and Marcus) and proceed to go to Bank of America. I think Koop was going to rob it, but they were closed, so he just yelled at the ATM machine in a very threatening manner (he pointed a lot) until it gave up some cash. Koop's a scary dude.
I end up taking them to this place called Wild Wing Cafe, which sells chicken wings and lots, and LOTS of fucking beer. We wait for like 20 minutes because we have a big group, and just bullshit outside. Nothing interesting happens outside (which is rare. Last time I was there some dude beat up his wife by the front door then got stomped out by the bouncers) and we just bullshit. Random racist jokes are made, somebody says Unreallystic has no ankles and waaaaaay too much money, we go in to fuck with the arcade games etc. Turns out one of the golf games has a credit in it, koop attempts to play and turns out the game needs one more quarter to start. I offer up a quarter, he declines and then the beeper for the restaraunt goes off. We walk in, get seated.
Turns out the guy's section we're in got completely oversat, and he's struggling. Dude was real cool, we just bullshitted till he got our orders. Unreal ordered some drink called "Sex With an Allegator". I don't know why, or what that means, but he did. We ordered NORMAL drinks, and wings. Unreal ordered some crazy ass entree then complained about how the Mac and cheese was made. You can't please this guy for SHIT, son!
Anyway, we eat, and just talk shit. They ask me about the xbox360 assfuckery incident, Koop steals some fries from me, Marcus stares at women, my roommate drinks beer and doesn't talk cause he's anti-social, etc. etc. It was a good time. Everybody was real chill and we figured the weekend was going to be dope.
I get a phone call while we're there and I'm told that I need to come down to the FR meeting place and help out. So Unreal, Koop, Marcus, and myself head back to the house to grab some stuff, then ride out. Dataika is getting in at the airport at like 9:30, so my roommate decides he'll go pick him up while we ride out.
Now, Unreal has a pretty pimped out ride. It's some Nissan SUV thing. He's got two TV screens on the back headrests, an old PS2 hooked up to it, and some MP3 CD player in a box on top of his dash. BUT THE THING HAS NAVIGATION. Koop and me hook up the CvS2 (which is a horrible, horrible game) and basically play that shit all the way down the highway while Unreal hits his CD player cause it keeps skipping.
We arrive at the hotel where Final Round is and park. I walk in, and we see that not only is Final Round listed on their "Meetings/Events" board, but we're also on a white board in big ass red letters that say "Welcome Final Round" in this fucked up ass handwritting. WE'RE DOING BIG THINGS IN THE ATL, SON!
Some of you might not know, but Final Round, like most tournaments is an event that's thrown for the community by the community. Everything that we use is donated. All the cabs we use are cabs that friends lend to us. All the DC's, PS2s, TV's, VCRs etc are all donated by people in the community. So that means we gotta lug all that shit around and set it up. So we end up getting there FIRST. Turns out Shinblanka and BobSmack went out some where and had Martinis and smoked cigars instead of actually getting to the tournament hall before us. So, we do the only thing we can; we perch up by the doors, grab some chairs, and start speaking very loudly. This attracts obvious people and next thing I know we're saying what's sup to all these people who came out for the tournament who heard us down the hall.
Shinblanka and Bobsmack show up, unlock the doors, and it's time to unload the shit. We go out into the parking lot and there's like 13 people running around trying to help. The truck Shinblanka rented had a hydralic (sp) lift on it. It makes sense because the cabinets are so fucking heavy, why lug them up and down a ramp when you could just use the elevator.
Marcus decided this was the point where he'd show us all what kind of man he is.
Marcus perched up by that hydralic switch and never backed down. I swear to god, there is not a man alive that can operate an up and down switch with the precision that Marcus does. It was a sight, man. Hoes were coming by and commenting him on how good a job he was doing.
So we start unloading the cabs, pausing to admire Marcus' switch hitting skills, and run shit back into the event hall. At this point I see Shinblanka's wife and decide to run the other way. She wanted to have a talk with me about my xbox360 incident and since she's kinda like a second mom, I didn't want to talk about it. I mean, who wants to tell a mother figure that they blasted some chick in the ass? I know I don't.
Anyway, we haul stuff in, set stuff up, etc. At this point KHAAAAAAAAAAANG calls Larry and says he's at the train station. Larry asks me to go with Franco to pick up KHAAAAAAAAAAAANG and Koop tags along. We drive down the street, see Khang and company walking down the street like some bums. We whip the car around, and scream at them. I think I said something like "YOU SHURE DU GOTS A PURTY MOUTH" and I swear, KHAAAAAANG jumped like 3 feet. Then Koop said something vulgar out the other window. I"m suprised the kid didn't run back into the train station, but apparently Khang is a soldier. Then he tried to get in the car, but couldn't pull the seat back because, in his words, "I'm a weak asian". Pussy.
Koop decides he wants to get drunk. So we go looking for a liquor store on Buford Highway. This should not be complicated. So we ride out, pass one, but there's a median. Franco says there's another up ahead, and we talk bullshit with the guys we just picked up. Then we pass a sewage plant. NICE.
There's no liquor store in the direction we're heading, but the CDC and the IRS are there, so we point them out as we turn around and go right past the sewage plant.
Finally we get to a liquor store, and Koop runs in looking for the 151. He finds it, and is a quarter short when we get to the register. So I throw him the quarter I was going to give him for the golf game earlier in the night. Now, what was weird about the whole thing is that bufford highway is a minority area. It's mainly asian, then mexican, and so on, but the liquor store people were all white. Weird, man.
We hit up the hotel, turns out they're just about done, it's late so we're like "Fuck it, let's dip to the house and drink a lil' play a lil' and whatever" but we can't find Unreal. We look around, he won't answer his phone, and finally we find him on the phone in his car, with the seat leaned back. Whatever. Bobsmack was supposed to come crash at the crib, but apparently he decided to finish the Final Round 9 brackets and sleep in a dumpster. Whatever.
We jump in the car, Unreal throws on some old 2live crew vidoes, and me and Koop play CvS2 all the way back. And I was fuckin' him up. SO HORD.
Koop says he needs some drink to go with his 'drank' and Unreal says he's thirsty. We stop at the Quiktrip by my house and go in. I grab some cheetos and Dr. Pepper. Unreal buys like 2 liters of banana and strawberry milk, Koop gets some Coke, and I don't know where Marcus was. We go to pay and there is this 15 year old white chick yelling at her mom while her mom is trying to buy cigarettes. Gotta love living in the south.
We get to the house, and Dataika is already playing CvS2. I introduce everybody, grab some drinks and chill. Koop and D beat each other up in CvS2, we pore some 151, Marcus lays down, and I open the Cheetos. Unreal literally chugs both milks and then DISAPEARS. Nobody knew where he went, but we were like "Fuck it. He'll be back."
It's all chill and whatnot till I get up and come back, and a bunch of the cheetos are gone. WTF. I don't really care. I'm drinking some bacardi, and it's all chill. I get up again, come back and ALL the cheetos are gone. I say nothing and look around at peoples' fingers. Koops are all orange. I see how it is, ya jerk. I open my house up to you, and all you do is try to steal my cheetos.
So we end up getting a lil' typsy, and we put on the only good thing you can watch at 3 am: Cartoon Network. Tom and Jerry is on, and man, I never realized, but that is a violent fucking show man. Like seriously violent. So we watch that shit and talk about old looney toons and shit. Then Dexter's laboratory comes on. I never really watched it when it was on, but that show is fucking hilarious. Dexter did some crazy shit where he fired DeeDee and we just had jokes and jokes all around. There is some seriously funny shit on that show.
Then we get hungry. We decide to go hit up Crystal and that shit was DELCIOUS son. We drink some more, and watch more cartoon network, laugh and then pass out. Thing is, before we pass out, we realize Unreal STILL isn't back, but his car is here. I say fuck it and lock the door. He's got my number if he wants to get in.
We finally decide to pack it in since it's late as fuck, and me and Koop gotta be up in three hours.
-Saturday-
Which is really just 3 hours later. I didn't even sleep but an hour. Septimus Prime calls me up (it's like 7:45 am) and tells me that the Asian Pride Parade sucks because it's just a bunch of flat chested women who're good at Calculus. I told him it sucks to be him, and that we're gonna be all up in some PHAT ATL ASS and TITTIES later. I call him some random vulgar name and hang up.
Koop's up, I"m up, D gets up, and eventually the rest of the house. We're getting ready and we turn on the TV. Turns out there is a Captain Planet MARATHON on. So we just sit, in fucking AWE of how bad this show is. Koop says he likes the message. Whatever. Cheeto stealing mother fucker.
Now, I don't know how I can addequetly explain how absurd this is, but at one point Wheeler is standing in the middle of a burning dog shelter, surrounded by Rabid dogs and that bitch in the pink leotard. There are other people there, the super villain says something evil, and Wheeler yells "You won't get away with this!" points at the other people with him and goes "Somebody call the cops!".
I swear to god, this was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I don't know how to explain it, you just had to be there.
Somebody call the cops.
I'll finish up saturday when I get home tomorrow. Look forward to hearing about me and Koop running the registration tables, complaints about tournaments, Tetris DS, "Nigga that ain't yo' controller", Febreeze bombing people, calling the cops, more Cheeto theivery, ATL crack heads, Phi drunk as shit, Justin Wong being harrassed by a crackhead, "what a ***" being used excessively and much, much more.
Basically, every year I usually have a grip of people stay at my house, I help run Final Round, I usually get drunk, and shennanigans ensue the entire weekend.
This Final Round was no different. In fact, it had a TWIST. Multiple twists. But we'll get to that.
Friday- I wake up... hell, I don't know when I woke up. But I woke up. And it was glorious.
Wait wait, that's not right. 5 am. Koop txt messages me and tells me he's on his way. Originally he was supposed to get here right around 8 or 9 in the a.m. I couldn't sleep so I stayed up. He did not get here at 8 or 9 in the a.m. I'm guessing Koop stole somebody's car keys and they didn't get underway until he messaged me.
Anyway. I'm upso I call him back. He says they're in like Virginia, which means they won't be getting to the house for a while. He asks if I woke him up, I tell him no, we talk for a minute and then hang up. I go lay back down, and try to get some sleep, but can't. The meds I'm on fuck my sleep schedule UP, son! It's bananas! Tell your momma about it!
Anyway, Koop calls me at like 3pm and wakes me up with the words "WE'RE IN ATLANTA NIGGA, WE'RE ON YOUR STREET, WHERE DO WE GO?!" So I start asking him questions trying to figure out why he's yelling at me, calling me "nigga" and where he's at. Turns out he's yelling cause he's excited, I'm his "nigga fo' real" and he's on the other fucking side of town.
I get my roommate on the phone, (I woke his punk ass up) he gives him directions to get on the right side of town, and we wait. I go back to sleep. My roommate apparently tried to go back to sleep, but he sleeps all the time anyway, so fuck him. The guy has a headache EVERY day. Like a woman. It's sad. The guy needs a Motrin-Migraine I.V. Every time I see him he's got that bottle in his hand. It's amazing.
So I try to go back to sleep. It doesn't work. I get up like 30 minutes later and Cool-Breeze is playing Third Strike in the living room. I can't sleep with all the tapping from the buttons so I get up, and try to find some cereal.
I call Koop, turns out they're stuck in traffic. I pretend to be shocked. I think he bought it.
Septimus Prime was supposed to come but he made some excuse about being at an asian pride parade. Sucks for him.
I didn't find any cereal. That kinda sucked.
Koop gets to the house about 6 ish, and turns out it's not just him and Unreallystic, but also his brother Marcus. Koop did not tell me about Marcus. It's obvious Koop is trying to get back at me for being "The White Man", which made no sense to me since he already told me I was his "nigga". The house is already packed, but hey, I don't give a fuck. The more the merrier. Plus it makes it look like I love minorities considering I was the only white guy at the house the entire weekend (Fuck you, BobSmack).
So Koop, Unreal, and Marcus all want something to eat. They need money first. So we jump in the car (Me, Koop, and Marcus) and proceed to go to Bank of America. I think Koop was going to rob it, but they were closed, so he just yelled at the ATM machine in a very threatening manner (he pointed a lot) until it gave up some cash. Koop's a scary dude.
I end up taking them to this place called Wild Wing Cafe, which sells chicken wings and lots, and LOTS of fucking beer. We wait for like 20 minutes because we have a big group, and just bullshit outside. Nothing interesting happens outside (which is rare. Last time I was there some dude beat up his wife by the front door then got stomped out by the bouncers) and we just bullshit. Random racist jokes are made, somebody says Unreallystic has no ankles and waaaaaay too much money, we go in to fuck with the arcade games etc. Turns out one of the golf games has a credit in it, koop attempts to play and turns out the game needs one more quarter to start. I offer up a quarter, he declines and then the beeper for the restaraunt goes off. We walk in, get seated.
Turns out the guy's section we're in got completely oversat, and he's struggling. Dude was real cool, we just bullshitted till he got our orders. Unreal ordered some drink called "Sex With an Allegator". I don't know why, or what that means, but he did. We ordered NORMAL drinks, and wings. Unreal ordered some crazy ass entree then complained about how the Mac and cheese was made. You can't please this guy for SHIT, son!
Anyway, we eat, and just talk shit. They ask me about the xbox360 assfuckery incident, Koop steals some fries from me, Marcus stares at women, my roommate drinks beer and doesn't talk cause he's anti-social, etc. etc. It was a good time. Everybody was real chill and we figured the weekend was going to be dope.
I get a phone call while we're there and I'm told that I need to come down to the FR meeting place and help out. So Unreal, Koop, Marcus, and myself head back to the house to grab some stuff, then ride out. Dataika is getting in at the airport at like 9:30, so my roommate decides he'll go pick him up while we ride out.
Now, Unreal has a pretty pimped out ride. It's some Nissan SUV thing. He's got two TV screens on the back headrests, an old PS2 hooked up to it, and some MP3 CD player in a box on top of his dash. BUT THE THING HAS NAVIGATION. Koop and me hook up the CvS2 (which is a horrible, horrible game) and basically play that shit all the way down the highway while Unreal hits his CD player cause it keeps skipping.
We arrive at the hotel where Final Round is and park. I walk in, and we see that not only is Final Round listed on their "Meetings/Events" board, but we're also on a white board in big ass red letters that say "Welcome Final Round" in this fucked up ass handwritting. WE'RE DOING BIG THINGS IN THE ATL, SON!
Some of you might not know, but Final Round, like most tournaments is an event that's thrown for the community by the community. Everything that we use is donated. All the cabs we use are cabs that friends lend to us. All the DC's, PS2s, TV's, VCRs etc are all donated by people in the community. So that means we gotta lug all that shit around and set it up. So we end up getting there FIRST. Turns out Shinblanka and BobSmack went out some where and had Martinis and smoked cigars instead of actually getting to the tournament hall before us. So, we do the only thing we can; we perch up by the doors, grab some chairs, and start speaking very loudly. This attracts obvious people and next thing I know we're saying what's sup to all these people who came out for the tournament who heard us down the hall.
Shinblanka and Bobsmack show up, unlock the doors, and it's time to unload the shit. We go out into the parking lot and there's like 13 people running around trying to help. The truck Shinblanka rented had a hydralic (sp) lift on it. It makes sense because the cabinets are so fucking heavy, why lug them up and down a ramp when you could just use the elevator.
Marcus decided this was the point where he'd show us all what kind of man he is.
Marcus perched up by that hydralic switch and never backed down. I swear to god, there is not a man alive that can operate an up and down switch with the precision that Marcus does. It was a sight, man. Hoes were coming by and commenting him on how good a job he was doing.
So we start unloading the cabs, pausing to admire Marcus' switch hitting skills, and run shit back into the event hall. At this point I see Shinblanka's wife and decide to run the other way. She wanted to have a talk with me about my xbox360 incident and since she's kinda like a second mom, I didn't want to talk about it. I mean, who wants to tell a mother figure that they blasted some chick in the ass? I know I don't.
Anyway, we haul stuff in, set stuff up, etc. At this point KHAAAAAAAAAAANG calls Larry and says he's at the train station. Larry asks me to go with Franco to pick up KHAAAAAAAAAAAANG and Koop tags along. We drive down the street, see Khang and company walking down the street like some bums. We whip the car around, and scream at them. I think I said something like "YOU SHURE DU GOTS A PURTY MOUTH" and I swear, KHAAAAAANG jumped like 3 feet. Then Koop said something vulgar out the other window. I"m suprised the kid didn't run back into the train station, but apparently Khang is a soldier. Then he tried to get in the car, but couldn't pull the seat back because, in his words, "I'm a weak asian". Pussy.
Koop decides he wants to get drunk. So we go looking for a liquor store on Buford Highway. This should not be complicated. So we ride out, pass one, but there's a median. Franco says there's another up ahead, and we talk bullshit with the guys we just picked up. Then we pass a sewage plant. NICE.
There's no liquor store in the direction we're heading, but the CDC and the IRS are there, so we point them out as we turn around and go right past the sewage plant.
Finally we get to a liquor store, and Koop runs in looking for the 151. He finds it, and is a quarter short when we get to the register. So I throw him the quarter I was going to give him for the golf game earlier in the night. Now, what was weird about the whole thing is that bufford highway is a minority area. It's mainly asian, then mexican, and so on, but the liquor store people were all white. Weird, man.
We hit up the hotel, turns out they're just about done, it's late so we're like "Fuck it, let's dip to the house and drink a lil' play a lil' and whatever" but we can't find Unreal. We look around, he won't answer his phone, and finally we find him on the phone in his car, with the seat leaned back. Whatever. Bobsmack was supposed to come crash at the crib, but apparently he decided to finish the Final Round 9 brackets and sleep in a dumpster. Whatever.
We jump in the car, Unreal throws on some old 2live crew vidoes, and me and Koop play CvS2 all the way back. And I was fuckin' him up. SO HORD.
Koop says he needs some drink to go with his 'drank' and Unreal says he's thirsty. We stop at the Quiktrip by my house and go in. I grab some cheetos and Dr. Pepper. Unreal buys like 2 liters of banana and strawberry milk, Koop gets some Coke, and I don't know where Marcus was. We go to pay and there is this 15 year old white chick yelling at her mom while her mom is trying to buy cigarettes. Gotta love living in the south.
We get to the house, and Dataika is already playing CvS2. I introduce everybody, grab some drinks and chill. Koop and D beat each other up in CvS2, we pore some 151, Marcus lays down, and I open the Cheetos. Unreal literally chugs both milks and then DISAPEARS. Nobody knew where he went, but we were like "Fuck it. He'll be back."
It's all chill and whatnot till I get up and come back, and a bunch of the cheetos are gone. WTF. I don't really care. I'm drinking some bacardi, and it's all chill. I get up again, come back and ALL the cheetos are gone. I say nothing and look around at peoples' fingers. Koops are all orange. I see how it is, ya jerk. I open my house up to you, and all you do is try to steal my cheetos.
So we end up getting a lil' typsy, and we put on the only good thing you can watch at 3 am: Cartoon Network. Tom and Jerry is on, and man, I never realized, but that is a violent fucking show man. Like seriously violent. So we watch that shit and talk about old looney toons and shit. Then Dexter's laboratory comes on. I never really watched it when it was on, but that show is fucking hilarious. Dexter did some crazy shit where he fired DeeDee and we just had jokes and jokes all around. There is some seriously funny shit on that show.
Then we get hungry. We decide to go hit up Crystal and that shit was DELCIOUS son. We drink some more, and watch more cartoon network, laugh and then pass out. Thing is, before we pass out, we realize Unreal STILL isn't back, but his car is here. I say fuck it and lock the door. He's got my number if he wants to get in.
We finally decide to pack it in since it's late as fuck, and me and Koop gotta be up in three hours.
-Saturday-
Which is really just 3 hours later. I didn't even sleep but an hour. Septimus Prime calls me up (it's like 7:45 am) and tells me that the Asian Pride Parade sucks because it's just a bunch of flat chested women who're good at Calculus. I told him it sucks to be him, and that we're gonna be all up in some PHAT ATL ASS and TITTIES later. I call him some random vulgar name and hang up.
Koop's up, I"m up, D gets up, and eventually the rest of the house. We're getting ready and we turn on the TV. Turns out there is a Captain Planet MARATHON on. So we just sit, in fucking AWE of how bad this show is. Koop says he likes the message. Whatever. Cheeto stealing mother fucker.
Now, I don't know how I can addequetly explain how absurd this is, but at one point Wheeler is standing in the middle of a burning dog shelter, surrounded by Rabid dogs and that bitch in the pink leotard. There are other people there, the super villain says something evil, and Wheeler yells "You won't get away with this!" points at the other people with him and goes "Somebody call the cops!".
I swear to god, this was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I don't know how to explain it, you just had to be there.
Somebody call the cops.
I'll finish up saturday when I get home tomorrow. Look forward to hearing about me and Koop running the registration tables, complaints about tournaments, Tetris DS, "Nigga that ain't yo' controller", Febreeze bombing people, calling the cops, more Cheeto theivery, ATL crack heads, Phi drunk as shit, Justin Wong being harrassed by a crackhead, "what a ***" being used excessively and much, much more.