Top 10 MANLIEST video games

[acesmith5]

http://www.arthurshall.com/x_2006_manly_video_games.shtml

Street Fighter got an honorable mention.



Machismo.

[Deuce]

duke nukem 3d should be on there

[jae hoon]

Chun-Li - China
Manliness: 2.3
Although Chun-Li is female, thus lacking manliness, she is still pretty pissed off.

E. Honda - Japan
Manliness Quotient: 4.0
A big fat Sumo wrestler... not very manly. Still, his thousand-hand-slap will give you nightmares.

Ryu - Japan
Manliness Quotient: 6.8
Ryu is your standard marial arts expert who wears a sweet white gi and can kick some serious ass. Nothing too special, but still manly.

Ken - United States
Manliness Quotient: 7.5
Essentially the same character as Ryu, Ken wears a red gi and sports the same move set. But Ken is from America, and thus more manly. His uppercut is dominant.

Dhalsim - India
Manliness Quotient: 8.8
Although I was not sure if anyone who called himself a "Yoga Master" could be truly manly, Dalsim's ability to dislocate nearly all of his joints and club you with his arms and legs has caused me to rethink my initial position on this issue.

Blanka - Brazil
Manliness Quotient: 9.2
Although not technically a man, Blanka is a green chest-thumping monster from the Amazon that rips people to pieces with his bare hands and can charge his body with near fatal levels of electricity. Awesome!

Sagat - Thailand
Manliness Quotient: 10.0
Although Sagat is technically a boss character, this 7-foot-tall Thai Boxer pummels you with his knees and fists. After you are dead he puts one of his huge ape hands over his chest and laughs at you. Sagat is the greatest!

Zangief - Russia former Soviet Union
Manliness Quotient: 11.0
Four words: Big Russian steroid freak! This guy is huge, hairy, and has gigantic "scars" all over his body from “wrestling bears”. Yeah right, we all know they are really stretch marks from massive steroid abuse. Fact: Zangief is the only character in the game with a fucking pile-driver!

Guile - United States
Manliness Quotient: 11.0
Guile (the viking of the group) is a martial arts expert from the United States Air Force. He has ridiculously huge blonde hair, and he destroys his enemies with spinning backhand strikes and a devastating back-flip kick that will neutralize any offensive move in the game. Guile is a one-man army and deserves his own game. America... Fuck Yeah!

[Jahat]

Contra 3 :The Alien Wars

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=contra3_owns

[BudaFuka]

But Ken is from America, and thus more manly.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[forgenjuro]

Seriously WTF! I dont know how that fuck chose CS over DK3D??? He has some of the best quotes from a videogame ever and you can fuckin hassle strippers or blow em up! How manly can you get than that!? In CS the manliest thing is just getting a head shot with an AWP and the guy's head stays in-tact.

[MrSNK]

Damn wheres Road Avenger for Sega CD.

[OneInchPunch]

Honorable Mentions:
Gunstar Heroes (Genesis), UFC (Dreamcast), Bangai-0 (Dreamcast), Super Contra (NES), Mortal Kombat (multi), Sin and Punishment (N64), Warcraft 2 (PC), River City Ransom (NES), Streets of Rage (Genesis), Animal Crossing (GC), Gunsmoke (NES), Ring King (NES), God of War (PS2), Altered Beast (Genesis), Golden Axe (Genesis)

Animal crossing? wtf was so manly about that?

[Dan?]

Animal crossing? wtf was so manly about that?

Furniture.

[Chachi]

No Final Fantasy VIII or X?

[LimeGreenPatato]

Seriously WTF! I dont know how that fuck chose CS over DK3D??? He has some of the best quotes from a videogame ever and you can fuckin hassle strippers or blow em up! How manly can you get than that!? In CS the manliest thing is just getting a head shot with an AWP and the guy's head stays in-tact.


I think your missing the one key factor here

Duke Nukem sucks.



If your not talking about duke nukem....forget i posted anything

[fishjie]

what about ninja gaiden 2?

1. youre a ninja that can throw ninja stars, fireballs, wield a katana, climb up walls, and summon phantom doubles.
2. youre out to rescue your woman
3. you happen to save the world in the process. oops. just an accidental side effect.
4. its got a manly army guy who goes down swinging, sacrificing himself to buy you more time.

I think your missing the one key factor here

Duke Nukem sucks.



If your not talking about duke nukem....forget i posted anything

Duke Nukem 3d? oh come on! you could blow up stuff, there were strippers, aliens, crazy level design, huge bosses, and everything.

[Fasty McNasty]

No Final Fantasy VIII or X?


:confused:

[nasir]

where is grand theft auto3 in this list?
you car jack people, beat up gangsters, steal police cars.. you know the drill

come on now.

[nameingway]

gta gets no love because of the fags that play it. you should know this, man!

[Black Chanler]

The streetfighter man teirs made the list worth it for me

[Ki Shima]

gta gets no love because of the fags that play it. you should know thiis, ...maaaann!

fixed :tup:

No Final Fantasy VIII or X?

:rofl:


duke nukem 3D not being their nullifies the whole list :wtf:

[Geese Pants]

Bad dudes................Where is Bad dudes?
And no Final Fight?
You got to gut punch a whore!!!

[BEWD]

Where the fuck is Splatterhouse?

[PimpC]

duke nukem is the essence of manliness in a videogame....thus, that list is bullshit

[J-ride]

Well, I like the old PC GTA, and Duke 3d not because it was super advanced strats, but you get some 8 player stadium or level 1 going down, then you had good times, also when guys were a few levels down nothing was as funny as a pipebomb death from above and killing all of them. That game was a good, fun fragfest for its time, and I'd rather play a game like that than gay ass halo 2.

[fishjie]

actually, i'm gonna have to say that DOOM is the manliest fps, not Duke Nukem.

First off, you've got a Marine, in SPACE. He is thrust into a mars base that has been taken over by zombies and demons, and singlehandedly takes down a huge 30 foot tall cyberdemon with rocket launcher for arms and the gigantic spider mastermind. the whole time he communicates via grunts and groans, and no matter how much blood is streaming down his face, he keeps on going till everything in his path is dead. finally, he wields a BFG, the BIG FUCKING GUN.

if that is not the definition of gangster, i dont know what is.

EDIT: lol my favorite memory of duke3d deathmatch was, i saw my friend standing still, so i pummeled bullets into him. when i moved in closer with a shotgun, i realized it was a HOLODUKE. My friend sprung the trap and jumped me from behind with rockets. TRICKED! AMBUSHED! OWNED!

[Rioting Soul]

Road Rash.

Also, they forgot to rank M.Bison.

[catchafire]

Shaq Fu

[Mr Mort]

actually, i'm gonna have to say that DOOM is the manliest fps, not Duke Nukem.

I would agree with you except that in Duke you pay strippers and they flash you. Guns, killing, AND strippers? Now THAT's manly...

[Dios <-X->]

Lol no god of war?

[Don Knotts]

Huh, good list of games. And what the hell is up with that Metal Slug pick? I don't remember that ever happening in the game.

[SNAAAAKE]

cvs2 is the manliest fucking game ever..all characters have potential :rock:
and there is no pussy assist like marvel..you are on your own !

[Dasrik]

Wolfenstein beats them all, because you fight Nazis. That's an auto win for manliness.

[final_cut]

I would like duke nukem more, if he wasn't such a ripoff of Ash from evil dead.

[nameingway]

^that's why i like him.

[Dasrik]

cvs2 is the manliest fucking game ever..all characters have potential :rock:
Too bad Benimaru, Vega and Eagle are in that game. They destroy the manliness factor alone.

[strakka]

How is Guile so high on the SF manliness tier list? He has to fix his hair after every round/every other round. Zangief > Guile. The guy wrestles with bears in his spare time! Motherfucking bears!

[nameingway]

on guiles stage he has bitches on the side lines ready to suck his dick. guile wins.

[cygnus]

How is Guile so high on the SF manliness tier list? He has to fix his hair after every round/every other round. Zangief > Guile. The guy wrestles with bears in his spare time! Motherfucking bears!
Yeah but Guile has an American flag tattoo.

No Final Fantasy VIII or X?
heh

[Thongboy Bebop]

Zangief is both gay AND a communist. That's a double-flawless of pussification.

N

[nameingway]

doesn't guile have 2 american flag tats?

[Ouroborus]

on guiles stage he has bitches on the side lines ready to suck his dick. guile wins.

:rofl:

someone give this guy a rep.

So wheres Guilty Gear on the list?:rofl:

[4neqs]

So wheres Guilty Gear on the list?:rofl:

Bridget for the lose

[Ouroborus]

Bridget, Ky, Venom, Anji, Zappa and Chipp for the lose

fixed

[4neqs]

Dang I knew I should have said Ky.
Plus Sol's a huge Queen/Freddie Mercury tribute after all.

[Dasrik]

You missed a few, Ouroburos.

Bridget, Ky, Sol, Venom, Zato-1one, Anji, Zappa, Faust, Baiken and Chipp for the lose

[BEWD]

I say again, where the fuck is splatterhouse.

1. Guy was MURDERED and brought back to life by an evil fucking hockey mask

2. The guy took on demons, decapitated heads, an inverted cross, and a demonic version of his girlfriend among other things

3.In SH 3 I believe, he could become a beast and shoot spikey innards out, if that's not manly, I don't know what is.

4. He kicks the shit out of the people Dasrik listed.

[Einlanzer]

where's super smash bros?????? :crybaby: :crybaby:

[Infested Jester]

Lol no god of war?

Beat me to it.

Kratos is the epitome of manliness...Conan like shit almost. The dude has bloddy rags covering his wounds, he rips people in half, and fucks multiple women at once. Kratos is top tier for this category.

[Million]

on guiles stage he has bitches on the side lines ready to suck his dick. guile wins...and unfortunately there's also a guy in the background, who appears to be rubbin' one out while watching Guile fight. Point deduction.

-eh...Twisted Metal 1 and/or 2? Where's the love for vehicular combat?

[versus addict]

Lethal Enforcers

[Mark Beast]

shoulda put river city ransom on the list anyway. dd was good, but river city ransom >> _______.

[ruthless_nash]

devil may cry

[valaris]

"Bad Dudes" 'nuff said.

[FistsofFury]

doesn't guile have 2 american flag tats?


At some point they (Capcom) realized that it was easier to animate Guile with identical tattoos in the same places. You know, for the 2nd player side.

I swear his old art used to have only one flag tattoo.

[ruthless_nash]

actually, have you guys ever played a game called two crude dudes for the genesis? its pretty shite now that i think about, but damn those guys were pretty manly and cool. you had to bust up a coke machine and drink coke to replenish your energy

[LimeGreenPatato]

Too bad Benimaru, Vega and Eagle are in that game. They destroy the manliness factor alone.

Dude....don't class Vega with benimaru. He may be a pretty boy, but he's a crazy fucker.....and did you see him beating the shit out of chun li in the animated movie. Only a real man beats up a woman.

That's like saying patrick swayze isn't a man....sure he's a balerina, but he's a mother fucking man, no doubt.

[thedude.com]

where is Hokuto No Ken ? the fighting game ?

street fighter 3 3rd strike minus remy .

devil may cry series .

God of war <-- truth

Berserk <-- a game that was based from a manga .

[Return of Shiki]

You missed a few, Ouroburos.

Baiken is more manly than everyone in Guilty Gear except Pot, Slayer, and Faust.


And God of War was a honorable mention, and would be perfect EXCEPT the fact that Kratos is SPARTAN.
And anyone who has studied Greek history knows that Spartan men certainly loved their boys....in many more ways than one :wasted: :wasted:

And actually, it's now been stated that Zangief is NOT gay.
The original quote about Zangief was mis-translated...Gief fits the Japanese stereo-type of a gay man (big, brawny, hairy guy with a mustache and spandex) but he is actually NOT gay. It's just that...he's often the butt of Japanese gamers' jokes. But we in America have always seen him as simply a macho man.
Kinda like how in America on the other side of the coin we have Benimaru...who the Japanese have always accepted as 100% straight and a "ladies' man" when he fits every single Western gay stereotype you could name.
And Zangief is probably no longer a Commie either. He's the ultimate Russian patriot...it doesn't matter the politics, he loves his country just the same. When Russia embraced democracy, he probably did the same as well.

[Higher-Jin]

Rampage
Hulk Ultimate Destruction
Carmaggedon
Twisted Metal
Primal Rage
Grand Theft Auto
Maddox's Unreleased game

[PsychoSquall]

#6: Ikaruga... WTF it is NOT that manly!!!

[Kayin]

devil may cry
DMC is badass as fuck, but I'd say too glam to really be considered manly.

[PsychoSquall]

M.G.S. is M.A.N.

[thedude.com]

M.G.S. is M.A.N.


CO-SIGN


except raiden -_-;;

[VruS]

counter strike is a pussy game.

where is leisure suit larry.

where is mortal kombat? Yeah ninjas aren't so manly, but ninjas that rip your spine out - well then you have something.

max payne with ti's bad ass story.

hitman

and for those who are saying ff. Yeah ok, i'm laughing.

[G.O.T]

wow oh fuckin goddamnme2hell wow. no battletoads...at all!!!

Napoleon Dynamite: "Gosh!, What an idiot!"

[_MJ_#R]

gay list...

[Ouroborus]

You missed a few, Ouroburos.

:rofl:

how do faust fit into this?

is it because faust shoves stuff up peoples ass?

EDIT:

I couldnt agree more about contra being the manliest game of all time

[4neqs]

Yeah, iirc Faust has a lick attack and does poke people in the ass- male or female.

[Don Knotts]

The list is basically just this guy's favoriate games growing up, plus a couple relatively recent additions like Metal Slug.

None of those games are paticularly manly.

[EndLeSS8]

I say again, where the fuck is splatterhouse.

1. Guy was MURDERED and brought back to life by an evil fucking hockey mask

2. The guy took on demons, decapitated heads, an inverted cross, and a demonic version of his girlfriend among other things

3.In SH 3 I believe, he could become a beast and shoot spikey innards out, if that's not manly, I don't know what is.

4. He kicks the shit out of the people Dasrik listed.

I would agree but the controls in that game is so crappy that Rick (the dude) has the reflexes of a handicapped zombie.

[Ki Shima]

Then its settled, Contra is without a doubt the manliest game of all time.



next to duke nukem.

[nameingway]

splatterhouse 3 is so fucking great, god i loved that game.

rooms full of fucking body chunks and meat.

[the_dannobot]

M.G.S. is M.A.N.
Almost. Unfortunately MGS is disqualified because all that sneaking around is for pussies and shit.

This list is crap without Ikari Warriors. It was made by the same dudes who did Metal Slug, Ikari means "anger" in japanese, and you have unlimited grenades and fucking sweet mullets..

[Starhammer]

overall, I'm cool with the list. with so many games to choose from, I think it should've been a top 20 instead of just 10. one thing I can't overlook is no Duke Nukem. Points off for that.

And some twisted metal should've made the list too. No final Fight? c'mon. How many of you got started with beat em' ups? *raises hand* I won't take anything away from Double Dragon, but put side by side, I think that maybe, just maybe, Final Fight edges it out. That's IMO though.

-Starhammer-

[Dasrik]

Baiken is more manly than everyone in Guilty Gear except Pot, Slayer, and Faust.
That's my point.

And people who stick oversized scalpels into people's asses cannot be manly.

[Einlanzer]

That's my point.

And people who stick oversized scalpels into people's asses cannot be manly.
HOME RUNNN!!!

[MrSNK]

Wheres Kain from the Blood Omen Seires he fuckin chopped necks and drank blood.

And he was re-created for vengence/save the world.

[Hand Hanzo]

Bad dudes................Where is Bad dudes?
And no Final Fight?
You got to gut punch a whore!!!

Dude...Poison/Roxy is a transvestite man-whore, alas, smacking him may either increase or decrease the "manliness factor" of the game, depends on your own personal perception.

My vote goes to Street Fighter 3: Third Strike.

Why? Because REAL MEN USE Q™, and everybody knows it.

EDIT: oh shit. Holy shit, I can't believe I overlooked this earlier.

Dude....don't class Vega with benimaru. He may be a pretty boy, but he's a crazy fucker.....and did you see him beating the shit out of chun li in the animated movie. Only a real man beats up a woman.

That's like saying patrick swayze isn't a man....sure he's a balerina, but he's a mother fucking man, no doubt.


Also, I hear that in the uncensored version, he got a free peep show of Chun-Li's jubblies before beating the living shit out of her. Now that's manly.

[Ouroborus]

:rofl: vega is fuckin manly no doubt.