Tales of pain

[Red-Impact]

I once sat on my balls:confused:

Also there was this time I was bowling and a bunch of beer got on the floor. Me, unaware of this, went for the strike and fell about half way into the lane, face first. Then a black girl (about 5 yrls old) came up to me, pointed at me, laughed. My face and my pride were hurt for 2 days.

*insert butt secksand defloration stories here*

[DeathScythe]

I once sat on my balls:confused:





:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


As pissed off as I was for certain things that happened today, you sir, made my day. I rep you for sitting on your balls.

Although, just having a finger tap your left nut is INSTANTANEOUS pain for many hours. And it hurts like hell.

I've had a metallic bookend shelf fall on my head before. With the edge hitting the top of my head. That shit hurts like hell too.

I've also had a boxer's fracture. The pain is unbearable for 10 minutes. And then after that, trying to move your finger is pain.

[Disciple of Ryu]

I was about 18 or so I think. Some friends of mine where messing around with a trampoline. I'd always had a fear or trampolines because it always looked so easy to bounce off and land on the floor. I put aside my fears and got on. After bouncing around for a bit I go for a front flip. I don't quite make it but I feel embolded since I almost landed on my feet. So, I get the brillant idea to do a back flip. I make sure to get as much bounce and I can and I go for it...and land on my neck. At the moment of impact I felt a tingle pass through my body, I imagine that's the last thing people feel before they become paralyzed. I layed there for a few seconds then tested all my digits and since everything seemed to work I got up.

My neck hurt for months after that. I'm healed for the most part but to this day I can't lean on my right elbow for very long or it gets uncomfortable.

[9999]

The feeling when one of your nails gets bent backwards. Fuck I cringe just thinking about that

[DeathScythe]

The feeling when one of your nails gets bent backwards. Fuck I cringe just thinking about that


Hurts more on the big toe. Believe me, I know.

[1]

Imagine getting a papercut on your eyeball. :sad:

[Septimus Prime]

I've been kicked in the nuts so hard before that it brought me up into the air and off my feet. I think it hurt so much that it just kind of didn't hurt at that point. Of course, I couldn't move or anything either.

[Will Gotti]

I once sat on my balls:confused:

Also there was this time I was bowling and a bunch of beer got on the floor. Me, unaware of this, went for the strike and fell about half way into the lane, face first. Then a black girl (about 5 yrls old) came up to me, pointed at me, laughed. My face and my pride were hurt for 2 days.

*insert butt secksand defloration stories here*

How the fuck you sit on your balls?

You gotta watch those little black kids. They're like PT Barnum's, they'll laugh, point, dance and make a circus outta you. When I was her age, knowing me, I probably would have done the same damn thing. Only thing is, you'd want to kill me. I would have squatted down from a safe distance while I point and laugh calling my older sisters over to take a look.

[Fadedsun303]

The feeling when one of your nails gets bent backwards. Fuck I cringe just thinking about that

My mom slammed my middle finger into the car door when I was 12 or 13. It ended up turning black/purple and the whole nail peeled off.

Another time,I was vacationing in Maine and my aunt told me to go let the dog in from outside. My grandfather told me to put shoes on so I didn't step on anything. I was young and stupid, I was like, 'fuck that I'm not going to step on anything'. Sure enough, I stepped on a nail, bare foot. I hopped back into the house and my grandfather is yelling at me and all the sudden he just rips the nail out of my foot. It hurt like hell.

[thurst]

after i got out of the hospital (from appendicitis which hurts like a bitch, btw) my bowels were all fucked and anytime i had to take a shit i had to pop like 2-3 vicodin....twas a horrible time

[Red-Impact]

How the fuck you sit on your balls?

You gotta watch those little black kids. They're like PT Barnum's, they'll laugh, point, dance and make a circus outta you. When I was her age, knowing me, I probably would have done the same damn thing. Only thing is, you'd want to kill me. I would have squatted down from a safe distance while I point and laugh calling my older sisters over to take a look.

exactly...i don't know how the hell it happened..it just happened:confused:

[Yasashiyama]

I remember this one time in pre-school about this kid who would hang onto ledges all the time. I don't know why but he thought it was fun. One day though he was hanging on a ledge next to the science room (which was on a second floor) when some girl came up to the ledge and looked down to him. After about a minute or two the girl then pushed the kid's fingers off the ledge and made him fall on his back all the way to the ground. The problem though is that back then they were still renovating that school. So what that kid fell on was a crooked sidewalk that still had some jagged rocks sticking out of the cement.

About a few minutes later that kid's mom runs into the school and starts yelling at the girl. I swear that lady was going to snap that little girl's neck.


Hitting your head on lots of shit. Being too tall sucks. Amirite, people?

EDIT: Damn, now that I think about it, there's a lot of pain stories in my childhood. Now I'm remembering the time I got bit by my dog. Guess I'll update with that story soon.:confused:

[ShinAkumax]

I played Drakkhen.

[Biolink]

Barehand softball game.Ball got hit directly at my ring finger and I severely jammed it.

[Hunter D]

When I was a kid I got a piece of my dick skin caught in my pants zipper. The dangers of wearing boxers man.

[woof]

i ran around with a blue marker and tripped and it punctured the roof of my mouth and i was bleeding everywhere and it wasnt fun and it all happened when i was like 4 or 5



years later i have grown to love the color blue and hate markers

[Septimus Prime]

I played Drakkhen.
Me too, but this thread isn't "Tales of Pure Boredom Where You Wanted to Hang Yourself Like You Just Went on a Blind Date with a Chinese Bitch."

[ShinAkumax]

I finished it.

[Septimus Prime]

Oh, shit.

[Sanchez]

Kidney stones are no fun.

I remember being at the hopsital explaining my situation to an elderly nurse who had to enter my symptoms on a computer. In an effort to sound proffesional I said "it feels like I keep getting hit in the testicles." Totally didn't say balls.

Too busy writhing in PAIN I lost track of time. I looked up at the clock. 2:35am. It was 2:24am when she started typing. Glacing at the monitor, I see "FEELS LIKE HE'S BEI_"...

SHE'S A HUNT AND PECK TYPIST!!

SWEET FUCKS--TESTICLES IS A FUCKING LONG ASS WORD!

I should have said balls.

[Will Gotti]

Almost forgot about my shit. The two times that stick out in my mind where I thought I'd never felt this much pain in my life was when I was about 5 and 22.

When I was 5, I was sitting underneath a shopping cart at the grocery store while my mom was pushing it. We had just got done at the register and I jumped under there with some toilet paper and what not just fucking around. Like an idiot, I started pushing the wheels with my fingers as my mom was pushing. After a couple of times my left index finger got either jammed or ran over. My ass was howling like a coyote.

My mom looks down like wtf? She lectured my dumbass and some employees offered help. My entire nail was hanging off. My mom just pulled it off cause it was clean off my finger dangling by a thread. Instead of nail and finger flesh, my finger was just finger flesh and pulp where the nail once was. It took quite a while for my nail to fully grow back.



When I was 22 I got a hernia when I was in the Army. The battalion was in Yakima, WA. We'd been there for about 4 weeks and we were on our last day. The guys in my unit usually helped me unload the food off the supply truck and I would take it from there. There was always a bunch of heavy mermites (food containers) cause it was to serve a unit of about 70 dudes. The trucks' flat bed was almost solar plexus level on me so it only slowed me down without help when stuff was heavy. I could just climb up and hand things down and they'd just set it by the table, that's it. I'd set up.

These fuckers didn't want to help on the last day and I had heavy mermites of spaghetti, chicken, heavy shit. I'd break my neck getting these guys extra stuff from the cooks, they ate good cause of me and my sergeant. The command usually backed me up and told people to help cause like I said, I'd hand stuff down, then the rest was me. It sped things up and they got to eat faster.

Anyways, the guys pretty much said fuck me they'd been working all day, I'm supply I sit on my ass all day blah, blah. It was the last day so the command didn't really care, they just wanted to eat and leave later in the evening. I was like alright bitches supply takes cares of your asses, remember that shit.

I started kicking mermites off (the mermites were latched closed), throwing plates and plasticware out and when I went to grab the last one, the heavy ass spaghetti, I forgot to use my legs cause I was pissed and a sharp pain went through my right pelvis. I tore the lining on my lower abdominal wall and the pain lasted for about 3 seconds and was gone. That pain was bad, but nothing like what I would feel later.

At first I hoped it wasn't a hernia and tried to ignore it cause it wasn't hurting. After a couple days I noticed my intestine would slip through the tear in my ab and I'd have to push it back in. It's wasn't a big rip, but big enough for that to happen. When I went for surgery weeks later, after I left the hospital and the drugs wore off, the pain was the worst I'd ever felt in my life that I could remember. It felt like someone stabbed me deep, however that feels. It was sharp and went across my abs and parts of my right pelvic bone. It took about 2 or 3 dosages of Percocet to even make me forget the pain. The pain lasted for weeks. The mesh they placed over the hernia was getting attacked by my ab muscles cause it was a foreign object, so the spasms lasted for quite a long time.

[Yasashiyama]

When I was about 13 years old I lived with my grandparents in Puerto Rico. The thing with my family though is that we love animals. So basically my grandparents had a farm for a house.

So one night, while my family was having a big get together, I was sitting at the front porch of the main house just petting one of the dogs (who was named "Shakka"). So as I'm petting the dog a cat walks on by in front of the porch. Shakka, being the dog she was, starts growling at the cat. However me, being the pacifist, try to get Shakka to calm down.

BIG. FUCKING. MISTAKE.

As I try to pet the dog to calm down Shakka turns to me and bites my right forearm. I start to yell and try to shake the dog off but she had a damn good grip on me. Within a few minutes though my mom comes running up and starts to beat Shakka with one of her *EDIT*CHANCLETAS!!*EDIT* and manages to get the dog off.

So the next day, since we didn't live anywhere near a hospital, my mom had to disinfect my arm with some soap and a tiny bit of alcohol. I had to wear a bandage wrap around my arm and still go to school the next day.

GGPO Shakka :sad:

ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF LAME STORIES BY YASA: THE TIME I GOT STICHES FOR WASHING THE DISHES! :rock:

[Lebowsk1]

Finger shut in hinge-side of door as kid. Well, wasnt entirely shut or it'd taken my finger off. The finger went all black, in fact my parents called it a "black man's pinch" which I now realise is a racist expression.

Working at a supermarket doing the late shift, pushing heavy roll pallets (like big upright cages full of stuff) and some idiot co-worker is too close behind me and he catches the back of my foot, like the back of my ankle. As it caught me while I was walking it scraped all the way down the back of my foot, hurting like hell. What a prick that guy was, he didnt apologise at a level that was anywhere near polite enough.

Also remember falling off my little pedal bike as a kid and getting really upset about a huge graze. And cutting my knee open as a kid.

I've been punched in the face twice (as an adult). First time it kinda hurt because my lip swelled up for a while. Second time he hit my cheekbone so it didnt hurt at all.

Football/"soccer" ball to the nuts is a semi-regular occurence for a goalkeeper.

Uh... oh yeah, I hate stomach pains like when you get shit problems. Internal pain sucks, so my heart goes out to anyone who has been ass-raped.

[Stabby]

I've sat on my balls a few times, but never for very long. I plop down then stand up immediately, so it hurts but not noteworthy.

Not many painful stories in my life. The worst I ever hurt was kidney stones, which were "fall down on the ground and vomit because it hurts so bad" kinda painful. But that usually only lasted for like 30 minutes or so, and by then it hurt a little less which was basically like it not hurting at all.

[Hitaro0]

In grade school, during an indoor kickball gym class, I kicked the ball, stared at it while I ran around the bases, and ran straight into a brick wall.

I tried to backflip off a 5-6 foot bench during recess. Landed on my back.

When I was 5-so, while skating on an ice rink, I slipped and the blade of one of my skates went in my ass.

[Ragetowersrage]

Imagine getting a papercut on your eyeball. :sad:

My mom had that happen. She works at the post office, a letter fell out of a machine, she looked up just in time. She got surgery on it and had to wear an eye patch for a while.

I've sat on my balls, number of times.

When I was like 8 I was at a babysitter's house in the ghetto. Me and a bunch of other kids decided to build a fort out of scrap wood we found around the apartments. We didn't have a hammer so being the genius I am, I thought I could use my foot and push the rusty nail, which was point up, flat so it would be out of the way.

WRONG [/Lex Luthor]

The rusty ass nail slowly pushed it's way through my foot and out the top of my sweet ass X-Men Velcro strap shoes. I then proceded to walk 3 blocks with the board still in my foot to the babysitter's place. Which upon arival, the board was pulled from my foot and washed with soap. Lucky for me I was up to date on shots.

Few years later I droped a rot iron pool chair on my little toe. Nail fell off and everything.

First day of 5th grade, I was running to catch the bus before it left. I tripped and slid through a pile of gravel that hadn't been washed away from last winters plowing. Needless to say, I didn't make it to school that day.

A little while later I was at a DZ Discovery Zone birthday party. We were playing Spider-Man in the bounce room and some kid got mad that I got to be spidey. I went to do a back flip, the kid kicked me in the back in mid air. I fell head first and twisted my neck, Spraining it something fierce. One side was straight and the other was all crooked. I then had to crawl through the tubes to get to a place to sit, while not moving my neck.

7th grade. My grade went on a class trip to D.C. It had gotten dark and they turned the fountains off. Well what I thought was a side walk, was really part of the Korean War memorial. The teacher in charge saw me standing on it, grabed me by the wrist and pulled me off. I fell on the corner, tore a hole in my shin, and took a chunk out of it. I have a dent in my shin where it hit.

Later that year a buddy and me thought it was a good idea to make a scooter out of a Razor scooter and a Hand truck. Realized We couldn't steer it, and I took a header into a mailbox. Tore a hole in my OTHER shin.

Not too long ago, I was running out to a friends car. It had just started raining, and stupid me, running in the rain doesn't fit well. I slipped in the wet grass, slid and landed behind his car. My right leg bent up behind my head and my knee twisted the wrong way. Coolest part about it. I was holding a Dr. Pepper in my hand when I fell. Didn't spill a drop. Plus I didn't break my leg!

[specs]

Back when I was in Tae Kwon Do, I once got kicked in the balls.

... 3 times.
... within a span of 45 seconds.

True story.

[Rhio2k]

Got nailed in the face with a soccer ball in 1st grade...and it was kicked by a girl smaller than me. We'd been playing for a few days, and you can tell who does what and how well when they're up to kick. This cute, petite little girl was up. We only let her play cuz she cried when we didn't. She couldnt kick to save her life. She'd mince forward, strike a Shirley Temple-esque pose with her arms close to her body and her hands up near either side of her face and swing her leg like 6 inches and give the ball a pathetic nudge that half the time wouldn't even stop it, let alone return it. Well, that day was different. She was up, so we all moved in, ready to scoop the ball up and tag her. The ball was rolled...and she started moving...but not like before. She started moving like she knew what she was doing, like she was the best she was at what she did, and what she did wasn't pretty. She fuckin' *dashed* 4 steps forward, and somewhere between the second and third step, she became an amalgam of Roberto and Chun Li. I saw her start the kick. I swear her upper body was parallel to the ground and her kicking leg reached back, straight up. Then the ball hit me. There was time in-between. I was like 12 feet away and the ball hit me seemingly the instant her foot touched it. Knocked my ass flat. Hit me right between the eyes so hard, I couldn't smell anything for the rest of the day, even after it stopped hurting.


Then there was the time I got on the swingset and tried to over the bar in a loop-de-loop...yeah, who could predict that once I got the damn thing upside-down that I would fall out? i don't remember how I got to the nurse's office, or how my parents got there...I wasn't out, I just wasn't *there*.

[colguile]

So, I get the brillant idea to do a back flip. I make sure to get as much bounce and I can and I go for it...and land on my neck. At the moment of impact I felt a tingle pass through my body, I imagine that's the last thing people feel before they become paralyzed. I layed there for a few seconds then tested all my digits and since everything seemed to work I got up.

My neck hurt for months after that. I'm healed for the most part but to this day I can't lean on my right elbow for very long or it gets uncomfortable.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

For me it had to be the time I zipped my pants up and my nutsack got caught in the metal zipper.

That was some pain.

[TheSix]

I was at Six Flags/Magic Mountain about to get on "The Batman". Im yelling some crap to my friends and I motion for my G/F(at the time) to take my cell phone. I was in a wierd position as the harness came down and it slammed right on my finger. This was infinetely worser than the 5th grade car door slam. Im surprise I still have this finger to this day.

I started crying and yelling like a bitch in front of my friends, my girl, and the dozens of other people around. I don't give a fuck. Shit still hurts.

[Manx]

After a wing party... 50+ Bently hot wings Hemorrhoid Dia-constapation triple team super. :sad:

[elitericerocket]

When I was young I used to ride those tiny grocery carts around Randall's. One time I ended up crashing into something and jamming my finger really bad. My parents had to get a cup of ice from the butcher for my finger.

Another time when I was messing around around on the monkey bars I fell and busted my lip.

The only time I got hurt when I was reasonably old was when I tripped on some jackasses backpack at school and sprained my ankle.

[DeathScythe]

After a wing party... 50+ Bently hot wings Hemorrhoid Dia-constapation triple team super. :sad:


Pain? That's the equivalent of death. Why are you alive?

[Magulorist]

Let's see
There was this time where accident occur with my uncle and me getting set on fire, a story my parents wont divulged into and i was around 2 so i cant recall. I personally think it never happen, but someone in the family brings it up

Then there was that time i fell out of a speeding car, I vaguely remember stitches in my leg, around 8 i think, it was behind the knee, once again i was around 2 or 3, so i cant remember, i just have dreams of it

And my right eyebrow, It got bitten by a dog(5), i fell on sharp metal cutting it(6), and my favorite, i ran into a light post, and my glasses scrap it badly(16 y/o), all accident required stitches on the eyebrow

[Naslectronical]

Nipple piercings.

Swelling in off-centre tongue piercings.

[Z!M]

skimed my shins to bone on a skateboard. That just made me relize im not in way shape or form going to be a skater.

[irioku]

When I was younger, like 9, we had a trampoline and I had just started doing backflips and front flips and I thought I was the shit, one thing I liked to do was backflip and land on my stomach and bounce to my feet and different combinations.

Well, one time I tried the stomach thing, but my arm got under me and I heard it snap, I was in so much pain, I was crying, I rolled around on the trampoline, with a few friends around. My mom and her boyfriend didnt believe I had actually broke it when I told them I heard it snap and told me I just sprained it and literally started pulling my arm in all sorts of directions, up, down, back, forth, pushing on it, pulling, saying that if I could move it, it wasn't broken. It hurt so much, if I think about it I can still feel how much it hurt. Turns out I had shattered my elbow and broke my wrist, spent the rest of the summer with a full cast up to my shoulder and down to my hand, swam with a garbage bag wrapped around my arm!

[Oni_Ryu]

I finished it.

I sir, do not beleive you.


Being hit in the Solar Plexus. Happened to me a few times in boxing, shit hurts like hell and you can't breathe.

A few years ago when I first started boxing, we had no sparring partners so the coach threw me in with some guy who didn't know what he was doing. At that point I had only been trained to look for jabs and straights. Guy throws a big ass punch and nails me in the side of the head, several more were to follow. The pain wasn't really that bad, it was the fact that I didn't even know where I was that was so fucked up.

Someone sitting on your thumb, bending it all the way back.

I recall one time, many years ago. We had a block party in our neighborhood, complete with big ass moon bounce. We caused that thing to get so rowdy, kids were pushing each other all over the place. This one kid had it in for me and would always try to knock me down. He finally tackled me in the face, at the same time some other kid came from behind and tackled me in the legs (you can picture what that looked like.)

Oh and taking a furby to the nuts.

[Daigohji]

When I was a kid, a friend's little brother hit me over the head with this (http://www.actiontoys.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=123&Product_Code=REALGBV-02&Category_Code=REALGBB). The pain wasn't that bad, but I just sat there dazed, thinking, "WTF? Ghostbusters HQ?!"

[Will Gotti]

When I was a kid, a friend's little brother hit me over the head with this (http://www.actiontoys.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=123&Product_Code=REALGBV-02&Category_Code=REALGBB). The pain wasn't that bad, but I just sat there dazed, thinking, "WTF? Ghostbusters HQ?!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You got El Kabonged. His kabonger was Ghostbusters HQ and he destroyed that bitch, a building :rofl:, over your skull. KABONG!

[Infested Jester]

STD swab test and Prince Albert piercing......two moments I won't soon forget.

[Rhio2k]

When I was a kid, a friend's little brother hit me over the head with this (http://www.actiontoys.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=123&Product_Code=REALGBV-02&Category_Code=REALGBB). The pain wasn't that bad, but I just sat there dazed, thinking, "WTF? Ghostbusters HQ?!"

Man, come on. I got whacked in the back of the head with Castle Greyskull and shook it off after like 3 seconds...cuz dad had been drinking, I'd pissed him off, and there was no telling what else he might throw.

[Will Gotti]

Man, come on. I got whacked in the back of the head with Castle Greyskull and shook it off after like 3 seconds...cuz dad had been drinking, I'd pissed him off, and there was no telling what else he might throw.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

And yo ass got El Kabonged with a damn castle, a fortress :rofl:, to the crown of your head.

[suleman]

I've sat on my balls a few times, but never for very long. I plop down then stand up immediately, so it hurts but not noteworthy.

Not many painful stories in my life. The worst I ever hurt was kidney stones, which were "fall down on the ground and vomit because it hurts so bad" kinda painful. But that usually only lasted for like 30 minutes or so, and by then it hurt a little less which was basically like it not hurting at all.


I've had four kidney stones in succession for three daays... if you want to talk about pain; no sleep and no relief for the whole duration until I couldn't take it anymore and retrieved a Shot of toredol from the dooctor on the last day. I think it was from holding my piss in some heavy traffic on my way to O'hare airpoort for close to three hours the day before... Couldn't force myself to piss in a cup in stop and go traffic on the interstate. Never doing that again. I think my kidney might still be infected, have to piss like every hour of the day almost.

[Will Gotti]

I'm doing all this laughing and my mom took me out with a banana. Yes a damn banana, monkey food.

When I was about 15 or 16, my mom was on the phone with one her closest friends. I had a habit when I was much younger to bug my mom when she was on the phone and constantly ask her "who's that" until I got an answer or she'd shoo me away.

Well like I said I was 15 or so and I grew out of that, but I was joking around being a chump one day and started asking her that and I hadn't done it in years. I kept playing and all I remember is she said "hold on Gracie" and shuffled at me like O-Ren Ishii. I ran.

Something hit the back of my right leg right in the bend where your knee is. I collapsed like a sack of potatoes a good 10 feet away and almost flipped over the living room couch as I was cruising through the dining room. I was like, wtf was that? I look down and a banana was laying next to me. I look up and both us of started laughing and she said "don't mess with me boy." All I could think is gotdamn she just took me out with a banana. A 54 yr. old woman took out her 15 year old son with a piece of fruit :rofl: She threw that shit like a boomarang and got to talk shit too while I was sprawled out on the floor.

[Daigohji]

All I could think is gotdamn she just took me out with a banana. A 54 yr. old woman took out her 15 year old son with a piece of fruit :rofl: She threw that shit like a boomarang and got to talk shit too while I was sprawled out on the floor.


:lol: :rofl: I'd expect nothing less from the mother of Golgo 13.

[ruthless_nash]

circumscision

[Penguin]

-Having an open window crash down on ALL my fingers.
-Countlessly hitting my head off of things because I'm 6'5.
-Countless breakdancing injuries: fingers jammed, arms twisted... etc
- Nut caught in pants zipper.
- Falling off a Tarzan swing mid swing and landing on a beer bottle.

The worst was when I was younger and at my cottage. I took a boat out to this random island (deserted).... and after I was done swimming, I sliiped on my towel and fell face first into a big rock. I then had to wrap my towel around my head to stop the bleeding, and row myself back to civilization all while being in tons of pain, and being very carefull not to tip the boat.

[Biolink]

Constipation was a bitch.

All throughout the summer all I used to eat was basically meat,fastfoot,and junkfood.Huge mistake.

I was scared when I found out that it wasn't going to come out no matter how hard I tried,so I took laxatives,and eventually it found its way out by ripping straight through my ass.I could have passed out right there.It was at least a foot longand about 2 inches wide.