Man reverse-pwns his woman

[Green]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

[Alzarath]

... I don't quite know what to say, the pwnage displayed here is mind-boggling.

[Shinto]

Damn, girls are trif....

[BananaWeed]

Wow. Just... Wow. I don't think there's any higher level of ownage than that.

That guy is a King among men.:pray:

[Yumi Saotome]

That guy is my new hero.

[Biolink]

Beast....

Too fucking beast...

[FallingEdge]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Good ish.

[DaDesiCanadian]

+ 1,000,000,000,000 Man Points: doing what that guy did.

[OMG AntiAir Dust]

Good valentines day story.

[Zigmover21]

Words cannot relate this story's greatness.

[fishjie]

yeah serpent linked that to me before. i wonder if its true though? it just seems............ too good of an ownage. i mean god damn. that guy just wreck owned the woman.

[Insaniac2]

That's about the best you can do without killing her.

[Stuckey]

Quality.

[colguile]

I printed out some copies and plan on passing this out to the guys at work tomorrow.

[CoMpOuNd]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!


Take Off Your Top! Take Off Your Top!



breakdance?
word.

[starkilled]

God damn, he did that shit like a cool mother fucker.

[Lucretz]

That cunt received the beasting of a lifetime.

[DietSoap]

That's about the best you can do without killing her.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

With a flight of stairs. :rofl:

I printed out some copies and plan on passing this out to the guys at work tomorrow. Lol, same. :lol:

[Preppy]

I had a friend of mine get f-cked in every way possible by a girl like that. He married her because it Was An Accident and he wanted to Man Up, and then Mike found her journal and saw that she'd planned it so she wouldn't kill herself. They got divorced, but he gets to be her meal ticket for a looooooooooooooooong time.

Women are creepy. Wear a condom through six months no matter what. =P

[X-Treme]

Wow, just.......wow. Words cannot come to close to describing my....:wow: :wow:

[TheSix]

Hearing her cry would have brought so much pleasure to my ears. I would have loved every minute of her sobbing. I would have stayed there and laughed. Laughed like the old evil green ranger used to laugh.

[DropKick Murphy]

thats great. damn thats great,

[Starhammer]

Now that is how you do it. This guy was listening when Eddie Murphy was telling us about the pussy trap. sure enough, he made sure that his head wasn't going to be caught when the cage door slammed shut. :tup: X1,000,000,000,000 and then some.

-Starhammer-

[colguile]

Hearing her cry would have brought so much pleasure to my ears. I would have loved every minute of her sobbing. I would have stayed there and laughed. Laughed like the old evil green ranger used to laugh.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That's too much.

[DS]

Laughed like the old evil green ranger used to laugh.


:rofl:

That is complete ownage right there. Documentation assist was too much for her. He guardcrushed and proceeded to AHVBx3 the bitch.

[PLD]

Too good!:rofl:

[X-Death]

Wow. Just... wow.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[axeman61]

I'm thinking of making copies and handing them out at college tomorrow, now that others are doing it. God DAMN it, I'm a follower.

If it was me, I would have taken some pictures with my cellphone. She's sobbing and shit, so her hands are probably over her face or something. I'd take two of them like that, goad her into looking up at me with some "it's okay" talk, snap one last one, GTFO, and save that as my wall paper.

But still, this is just... wow. The beast in this man is smacking more people around than Ike Turner's grammy. This is probably the only dude whose balls grew AFTER the operation.

[colguile]

This is probably the only dude whose balls grew AFTER the operation.:rofl:

Man, what's the % of men in america raising children that are not theirs? FUCK that "own up to your responsibilities" shit too.

Damn that story made me happy as fuck but when you come to think about it guys, this shit is done on the regular. It happened to me and right now I wish I just thought ahead like this fellow.

All you childless SRK members who go chasing after women need to wise the fuck up and understand that the MAJORITY of north american women are like the one in that story. Asians, whites, blacks, lations; it don't matter. They will DIG THROUGH TRASH to get your condoms.

DON'T even flush that shit. Take it with you and dump in the public bin or when you get home.

YOU have to be on point like this man or you're fucked like me and others.:mad:

[Geese Pants]

I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

DA DA DA.............dadada-dadadada..........FATAL KO!!!

[white shadow]

MMM your tears are so yummy, sweet sweet tears!!!

[Chachi]

He gave her the long hot American dicking, Dr. Tran style.

[ReggieHadoken]

Now that right there is some Batman quality prep-time!!

Kudos my hero, leaving all the best
You know my hero, the one that's oooooooooonnn

There goes my hero
Watch him there he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinaaarrryyyyyyy

[MOD]

For someone to take his time with this is hilarious. Talk about keeping it real. hahahahahaha

[RedTide]

Wow, that's like a big c.fp to the nuts ownage right there.

[Soundatron]

He is a god among men

[Raziel321]

Win.

[GRITZ]

I love it. Cornered by her own lies. He handled it like a gentleman. That guilt and embarrassment is going to gnaw at her for eternity. I fucking love it.

[CoMpOuNd]

Shoulda acted cool until valentines day. Then handed the bitch the sheets on that day with a big cup of steril cum juice. No No No Not cum juice, cum DRAAANK.



breakdance?
word.

[Javid]

Wow, just wow. If I actually got a chance to meet this guy in real life I would shake his hand and call him role model for most men.

Serioulsly though, how can anybody do such a thing. Get pregnant on purpose so the guy will stay with you. If this isn't selfish and self-induldent than I don't know what is. Surely the relationship can't last.

Say colguile, how old are you? And I'm curious about your story. Are you telling me you had a child that was an accident? If you did, than I can see where your maturity comes from more or less.

[pherai]

Man, what's the % of men in america raising children that are not theirs? FUCK that "own up to your responsibilities" shit too.

I cant remember the source, but my fellow 101 students can back me up, that its close to like 30% believe it or not. iirc that was a sample taken from the UK, but it can't be much different than here.

[ytwojay]

He guardcrushed and proceeded to AHVBx3 the bitch.That's "guardbroke" you noob. :arazz:

[mr. newbie]

i think unraveling the papers would actually give me an orgasm.

[Superking]

That's "guardbroke" you noob. :arazz:

Nah guardcrush came WAY before guardbreak dude. =P

[AkumaTX]

hE should have waited for her to have the baby then go to Maury. :)

On the case of XXXX being the father of XXXXX, XXXXXX You are not the father :) Then he should've busted out the papers on tv.

[Ducky]

That man is my hero.

[kempobot]

"I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry..."

i was in tears when i read this. :lovin:

[xero15]

Hearing her cry would have brought so much pleasure to my ears. I would have loved every minute of her sobbing. I would have stayed there and laughed. Laughed like the old evil green ranger used to laugh.

fuck that i would have went in the kitchen and ate her food while watching tv and laughing at her all the while i was there.

[Sir Bryan]

Game Over.

Continue?

(Insert Coin)

Continue 9....8....

[Infernoman]

WOW!:rofl: all I can say is...

FINEST KO!!! *screen flashes* PERFECT!

[Ragetowersrage]

The papers were the tune that summoned the Dragonzord!

That shit is too good. And sadly a lot of women will do this. Most of the time its not to make the guy stay with them, but to ensure that they have free cash coming in for them.

It's even worse to do it to someone with a disability who gets social security or some other form of extra finances to help them. Cause after the woman busts out the child support shit, she can get a cut of that money used to help the person who needs it.

[PsychoMistress]

The papers were the tune that summoned the Dragonzord!

That shit is too good. And sadly a lot of women will do this. Most of the time its not to make the guy stay with them, but to ensure that they have free cash coming in for them.

It's even worse to do it to someone with a disability who gets social security or some other form of extra finances to help them. Cause after the woman busts out the child support shit, she can get a cut of that money used to help the person who needs it.

Na, the child is supposed to receive their own SS check until they turn 18.

Good story though.

[Ryu & Ken]

If this guy was on srk, I would seriously think of becoming a Prem ans rep this mothafucka for real

[KING]

hE should have waited for her to have the baby then go to Maury. :)

On the case of XXXX being the father of XXXXX, XXXXXX You are not the father :) Then he should've busted out the papers on tv.

...and THEN proceed to breakdance.

[nameingway]

i should have finished with a rocket punch to her stomach. like, there you go whore.

[ThePurpleBunny]

Give this man a medal. Name a street in every city after him. Petition your Congressman to make a national holiday in his honor. The works. He's given men all over the world reason to cheer.

[defcon]

he shoulda punched her in the stumuchk while she was crying for good measure. you know, to add injury to insult.

[gouki10]

Game Over

:lovin: 1st place :lovin: PWN 999999999999999

[Magnetro]

Wow... :rofl:

[Daddyneptune]

Damn she caught every infinite and loop in fighting gaming history. Damn this guy is too good.

[Ragetowersrage]

Na, the child is supposed to receive their own SS check until they turn 18.

Good story though.

Even worse! That means I'm paying for some kid's Spunge Baub shit! Well.....If I had a job...

[Biolink]

This strength...


It has to rival's Ippo's

Liver Punch>Gazelle Punch>Dempsey Roll combo.

[Doc Holliday]

I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

He better have taken that shit right back otherwise his ownage full of awesomeness fails.


She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"


More awesomeness. One way hate fuck with hidden agenda attachment.

Everthing this guy did was spot on save for one thing:

The paperwork assist should've been followed by c.fp xx headbutt to the ovaries super. Make sure that bitch can't wrong any other males on this earth.

[versus addict]

I just have to say it.....

OWNED! :rofl:

[TheDarkPhoenix]

Wow, just Wow....

This dude is like doctor doom/Iron man with the prep.

"foolish woman are you sure it's mine?" and then BAM! Papers whore!

man thats great, If i didn't want kids someday, I'd glady setup some female..

[FighterX]

More like Batman Prep....

[Team Cable]

That nigga just went to town with five levels of super.

And the best part is that he fucked her right before the Hyper Combo Finish.

[ruthless_nash]

Bitch Got Bahzookahd!

[VruS]

Needs a statue built in his honor.

[Jida]

Oh gawd....

[Pat the Great]

i realize that we're three pages deep in street fighter metaphors, but i couldn't resist.

COUNTER HIT.

[KrassHole]

This beats the Daigo Parry . . . seriously. . .

[Defective]

Make room on the SRK Tier List for this cat, he's beasting on a whole 'nother plain. Who is this legendary chap? Does he want a disciple?

[maxx]

This strength...


It has to rival's Ippo's

Liver Punch>Gazelle Punch>Dempsey Roll combo.

i dunno man...thats just saying alot.

[Arturozero]

... post victory taunt....

wordless...

** Bows @ that guy **

[ManInTheBox]

MMM your tears are so yummy, sweet sweet tears!!!

I was waiting for somebody to do a Cartman reference.

Damn, this is one of the better stuff I've ever read or heard of. So I shall go with the 1326390426598732498734 men on Earth who want to put up a statue of this man.

[thurst]

i probably would've waited until she had the kid before breaking the news to her. no point wasting my hard earned time and money getting all those tests done. i'd have taken her ass to court, got them to pay for it and then took her ass to the cleaners with my legal bills.

[Digitalbooty]

This is a first! A thread on SRK where 3 pages worth of posters agree...


Bitch got OWENEDED

[EveryFlowerFlow]

the greatest thing about it is that he fucks he one last time before exposing her ass

[IzunaDrop]

One of the best things I have ever seen. This is too awesome. Win.

[Holy Knight]

Very nice read. :rofl:

[Hunter D]

Her tears must have tasted real good.

[Hwoarvang]

Ownage past the 3rd dimension into infinity!

[Rod Driguez]

That is quite possibly the most awesome-est story I have ever read in my life.

[ytwojay]

Nah guardcrush came WAY before guardbreak dude. =P
I thought a guard crush was what happened when your block meter was reduced to zero, like in a3 and cvs2?

[SiLLiEMutAfuKA]

Holy shit, AND he fucked her right before the papers? How good is that?

But I mean, if they've been having sex already for so long and he never shot out anything, isn't that a bit weird?

[Doc Holliday]

Holy shit, AND he fucked her right before the papers? How good is that?

But I mean, if they've been having sex already for so long and he never shot out anything, isn't that a bit weird?

Define: "He never shot out anything"?

He was always wrapping his shit. How would she know?

[BananaWeed]

I think you can still shoot the liquid semen part, just there won't be any sperm in it.

[Doc Holliday]

^
That's what I was going to get at.

[Kid Wonder]

Holy shit, AND he fucked her right before the papers? How good is that?

But I mean, if they've been having sex already for so long and he never shot out anything, isn't that a bit weird?
I used to think the same thing about vasectomies, until I found something out....lemme explain it this way: (w/vasectomy)shooting blanks means cum w/o "baby batter". Notice how after you spunk that one side is sorta clear, and the other is kinda thick and goopish? That'll be the baby batter...and that'll be the part that's missing after the surgery.


And jay is right...deathscythe is a noob. :razzy: You guardbreak the next character that comes out(mvc2), you guardcrush your opponent's guard meter(?). So it's standard to guardbreak then AHVBx3.

[XTG]

this guy must be a Leykis 101 student...without a doubt

[Jaldaboath]

The Papers > The Stairs


Highest class ownage I've seen in my entire life. We must find this dude and build monuments in his honor in every major city.

[Shinigami no batsu]

Damn she caught every infinite and loop in fighting gaming history. Damn this guy is too good.

and he didnt even cancel out...............not once, the guy is beyond greatness.

[SiLLiEMutAfuKA]

Ahhhh right! I totally forgot I learned about that, silly me, sorry lol.

[Fudd]

She says I am the one... But the kid is not my son!

[Chaotic Blue]

very nice.... very very nice. fuckin shady bitches.

[CoMpOuNd]

She says I am the one... But the kid is not my son!

Mjackson before the hate. Good ol'days.

word.

[*InVeRs3*]

WOW. This man is my hero. Words cannot explain how happy I am for this man.