Am I A Functioning Retard? AKA "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?"

[white shadow]

What do you get when-

A UCLA History Major Grad doesn't know who was the first President impeached?

A computer consultant second guessing what star is closest to earth or what a freaking trapezoid is?

An adult man who literally doesn't know what 2 x 5 equals?:confused:

The most hilarious and frustrating show I have ever seen. This gameshow is giving away free money by the buckets and I'm forced to see privileged, "edumacated" individuals get stumped by questions that I could've answered in my 3rd trimester.

I wonder what the foreigners with satellites must be thinking of Americans right at this moment?:shake:

[PsychoMistress]

I saw a preview where the question was, "What Star is closest to Earth?" and dude had this 'taking a dump' look on his face trying to think of the answer :rofl:

[Gasp]

this show is more like

"lets show you how much more an average 5th grader learns in this day and age then your old ass did in high school a majority of which you spent time baked and trying to fuck sluts, with guest host: some faggot redneck"


lol at that 2x5 though

[Taichi]

Question 1: Richard Nixon
Question 2: The Sun, otherwise known as Sol
Question 3: 10
Question 4: Americans are fucking retarded

[Septimus Prime]

I thought Andrew Johnson was impeached.

[Return of Shiki]

I thought Andrew Johnson was impeached.

He was, and the very first.

[arcticninja]

I initially answered Proxima Centauri for the second question, but I misread it as "the star closest to the Sun".


so these are all the $100 questions from "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" that got rejected for being too easy, amirite?

[Jizzz_frame]

Question 1: Richard Nixon


wrong. i guess not all srk'ers are smarter than 5th graders either.


the impeachment one was kinda hard i guess. i second guessed myself.

[Taichi]

I really didn't know that answer, and I ain't gonna pretend I did.

damn.

The Gods of Trivial Pursuit are attempting to send me a message.

[Ragetowersrage]

I really didn't know that answer, and I ain't gonna pretend I did.

damn.

The Gods of Trivial Pursuit are attempting to send me a message.

Trivial Pursuit can go fuck itself.

After a typo cost me the win.

Q: What game does the phrase "All your base are belong to us"

My answer: Zero Wing! Oh shit I got this!!!

A: Zero Base...

WTF! *Flips board* I'm out

[Taichi]

we have a rule that if you can prove your case within 10 minutes, you get the piece.

sure, a game can last all night, but it solves a lot of problems.

[Million]

I saw it tonight...some of this has got to be bullshit. This woman didn't know which country has the longest border line with the U.S. There's exactly TWO countries to think of, folks. 50/50 chance....and she couldn't even visualize how the NA continent looks to figure out the amazingly easy answer? She couldn't even remember that our country looks like some strange chicken-looking creature, with the loooong ass part on top and a small area touching a smaller country at the bottom? Come on now.

Then...an adult not knowing 2 x 5?! That's even worse. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe this show is 100% real. The average person is ignorant, and occasionally stupid, but getting stumped by "2x5"....no. I don't buy it.

[maxx]

I saw it tonight...some of this has got to be bullshit. This woman didn't know which country has the longest border line with the U.S. There's exactly TWO countries to think of, folks. 50/50 chance....and she couldn't even visualize how the NA continent looks to figure out the amazingly easy answer? She couldn't even remember that our country looks like some strange chicken-looking creature, with the loooong ass part on top and a small area touching a smaller country at the bottom? Come on now.

Then...an adult not knowing 2 x 5?! That's even worse. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe this show is 100% real. The average person is ignorant, and occasionally stupid, but getting stumped by "2x5"....no. I don't buy it.

2x5? like multiplying 2x5? u gotta be shitting me...im pretty sure math was alot harder for the past few generation, no way they cant do that...they gotta be plants.

[Septimus Prime]

Actually, our country looks somewhat trapezoidal. It's too bad that the contestants wouldn't be able to figure out what that means. :lol:

[MOD]

This show is fake or they purposely drag up stupid people. any person who ever earned money on "Jeopardy" would fucking rape this shit till it was dry.

[Azrael]

Man, you guys should see the shit on Japanese game shows.

Japanese "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?". One woman makes it up pretty far, question 12 or 13 I think. The question is - "Which of these heroes is weak to Kryptonite" Options - Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, and I forgot the 4th. Woman uses 50/50 to eliminate Batman and the 4th. Uses her phone lifeline, and her family is stumped. Loses when she guesses Spider-Man.

Another question. Rather early on - "What country is the Nile River" in? Stupid young girl looks at the 4 answers and says "Well, it seems like Egypt...but I dunno, it could be in America. America's pretty big and has a lot of stuff." Stupid ho has to ask the audience.

Different game show. One blockhead is unable to identify the Eiffel Tower by picture. BY PICTURE! :bluu:

[Return of Shiki]

so these are all the $100 questions from "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" that got rejected for being too easy, amirite?

No, the $100 are usually from Nursery Rhymes or TV slogans that everybody knows.

And there's STILL been some people who have missed the $100 question on that show.

[ShinAkumax]

Trivial Pursuit can go fuck itself.

After a typo cost me the win.

Q: What game does the phrase "All your base are belong to us"

My answer: Zero Wing! Oh shit I got this!!!

A: Zero Base...

WTF! *Flips board* I'm out

A whole word is not a typo.

[Dasrik]

Trivial Pursuit can go fuck itself.

After a typo cost me the win.
THE CARD SAYS MOOPS!

[white shadow]

Another question. Rather early on - "What country is the Nile River" in? Stupid young girl looks at the 4 answers and says "Well, it seems like Egypt...but I dunno, it could be in America. America's pretty big and has a lot of stuff." Stupid ho has to ask the audience.

Different game show. One blockhead is unable to identify the Eiffel Tower by picture. BY PICTURE! :bluu:

Wow and here I thought that the Japanese were all highly efficient uber-geniuses.:rolleyes: </stereotype>

[Infernoman]

man...his show is sad...and refused to watch anymore of it...this show is made of pure fail

[Gasp]

THE CARD SAYS MOOPS!

ITS THE MOORS!

[ckrazy]

Man, you guys should see the shit on Japanese game shows.

Japanese "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?". One woman makes it up pretty far, question 12 or 13 I think. The question is - "Which of these heroes is weak to Kryptonite" Options - Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, and I forgot the 4th. Woman uses 50/50 to eliminate Batman and the 4th. Uses her phone lifeline, and her family is stumped. Loses when she guesses Spider-Man.

Another question. Rather early on - "What country is the Nile River" in? Stupid young girl looks at the 4 answers and says "Well, it seems like Egypt...but I dunno, it could be in America. America's pretty big and has a lot of stuff." Stupid ho has to ask the audience.

Different game show. One blockhead is unable to identify the Eiffel Tower by picture. BY PICTURE! :bluu:

That is super sad but not as bad as the 2x5 question

I agree with those that refuse to believe this shit. I mean look at American idol they put on a bunch of fucking idiots to sing and people actually fall for that shit. Anyone that ever try out knows you got to get pass like 3 judging before you even make it on T.V

A homeless bum who drop out of school should even know the answer to what 2x5

[Night]

ITS THE MOORS!

Sorry the card says MOOPS!

Oh man... I can't believe she thought Mexico had the longest border!!!

[Phoenix Wright]

Nixon wasn't impeached.

[Night]

Oh my fucking GAWD...

She didn't know how many decades are in 2 millennium?! She BAILED on the question and when the pressure was off she thought it was 20?! Man... has to be fucking fake.

[Rioting Soul]

It's not fake. During a family game like trivial pursuit, I had to get my cousin(18 years old) to say "Mars". I said "the fourth planet in the solar system", she couldn't guess it. I said "the red planet", she couldn't guess it. I said "in sci-fi stories aliens usually come from this planet to invade Earth", she said Pluto.

[Ne0phyte]

Man, you guys should see the shit on Japanese game shows.

Japanese "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?". One woman makes it up pretty far, question 12 or 13 I think. The question is - "Which of these heroes is weak to Kryptonite" Options - Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, and I forgot the 4th. Woman uses 50/50 to eliminate Batman and the 4th. Uses her phone lifeline, and her family is stumped. Loses when she guesses Spider-Man.

Another question. Rather early on - "What country is the Nile River" in? Stupid young girl looks at the 4 answers and says "Well, it seems like Egypt...but I dunno, it could be in America. America's pretty big and has a lot of stuff." Stupid ho has to ask the audience.

Different game show. One blockhead is unable to identify the Eiffel Tower by picture. BY PICTURE! :bluu:
Adverbs? Or verbs?

[Lucretz]

.. how many decades are in two millenium?

Uhh, a millenium is a thousand years right? And a century is 100 years. So there are ten centuries in a millenium. And there are ten decades in a century. So, it'd be ten times ten, which would equal 100, and then double that cuz it's two millenium. So it would be 200 decades? Am I right? Am I stupid? Ohhh God, please tell me, I'm right.

[Yamizaki]

...yes it is 200...



...listen here you fat, balding bastard it's MOORS...

[Kuenai]

Zero Wing FTW. But I gotta say... Trivial Pursuit is full of errors in each addition. My friends and I play similarly to Taichi. If you prove your case within 5 mins, you get your point. Reason for bringing my laptop every time :lovin:

[N-Ken]

Godamn Im not smarter than a 5th grader since 3 of those 4 questions would have given me trouble:( IE I was thinking Johnson for the impeachment q but wasnt sure, Alpha Centauri was my first thought on star closest, and I'd have to like draw a trapezoid and think it out in my head to define what it means. Fuck my memory sucks ass. I refuse to believe someone actually had trouble with 2x5 though, come on. I mean wtf? Seriously wtf?

[fishjie]

Wow and here I thought that the Japanese were all highly efficient uber-geniuses.:rolleyes: </stereotype>

yah well they would have gotten the 2 x 5 question right. cuz theyre so good at math :looney:

seriously though how the fuck do you not know 2 x 5. W T F. i too refuse to believe this is real. how did they ask the question? maybe they asked "what is two times five" and the person didnt know what "times" meant. maybe if they asked what 2 multiplied by 5 was they would have gotten it??? CUZ COME ON HOW DOES A HUMAN BEING NOT KNOW THIS

as for the impeachment thing, impeachment does not necessarily mean removal from office, only the process of removing them from office, amiright?? so nixon was removed, but he wasnt the first to get impeached.....

RIGHT?

[Dummy Account]

NO. Nixon quit before he could get impeached.

[Night]

Both Andrew Johnson and Clinton are officially ruled as impeached by The House as they voted to impeach. They were both then subsequently acquitted by the Senate and therefore, not officially removed from office since the Senate needs to also have a 2/3rds majority vote. Johnson got off by one vote, while Clinton had an easier time since his impeachment was bullshit.

Nixon resigned before The House made their official vote to impeach him since he and everyone knew that it was imminent.


Oh and btw, it's MOOPS!

[Dasiatic]

The show is really about if whether or not you remember all the stuff they taught us back in 5th grade.
Even if i come to that show and fail, im still smarter than a 5th grader.
I'm smarter in life.

wait...who said 2x5?

fuck it, im out.

[white shadow]

yah well they would have gotten the 2 x 5 question right. cuz theyre so good at math :looney:

seriously though how the fuck do you not know 2 x 5. W T F. i too refuse to believe this is real. how did they ask the question? maybe they asked "what is two times five" and the person didnt know what "times" meant. maybe if they asked what 2 multiplied by 5 was they would have gotten it??? CUZ COME ON HOW DOES A HUMAN BEING NOT KNOW THIS


Judging by the expression of horror on his face I'm pretty sure its real. You can't fake that kind of stupid.

[ComboMasher]

This show is kinda bullshit in the way that we forget most of what we learn in school when its all over. They are going up against kids who are PRESENTLY learning the basis of what the questions are when these adults were taught this material decades ago.

[PsychoMistress]

This show is kinda bullshit in the way that we forget most of what we learn in school when its all over. They are going up against kids who are PRESENTLY learning the basis of what the questions are when these adults were taught this material decades ago.

For some of the questions, maybe. But 2 x 5? Come on now, you can at least do that shit on your fingers.

And star closest to earth? That's not even a memory question, it's common sense.

[Million]

To continue beating a dead horse....simple math is fresh on anyone's mind, as we do it on a daily basis in life, either for a job, or when thinking about your bank account and personal budget for the week, or imagining a better salary, living expenses, interest rate on something, grocery shopping within the limits of a particular budget, etc. etc. There is no excuse to not know 2 x 5, or any low level multiplication like that, unless you literally are retarded.

[ChairHome]

This show seemed interesting when you first hear about it. Then your realize how stupid these people are and you don't want to watch it anymore.

[Yansoma]

I can't believe Americans are so ignorant to our level of knowledge that we are literally beating our collective consciousness in the face with it by putting it on T.V.

PS: These people all think George Bush is still a just and right president.

[ManInTheBox]

Then...an adult not knowing 2 x 5?! That's even worse. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe this show is 100% real. The average person is ignorant, and occasionally stupid, but getting stumped by "2x5"....no. I don't buy it.

I would believe it.

I work at a tutoring lab at the University of Texas at Brownsville. Now, you would think that when people pull out TI-83 graphing calculators, it would be to figure out how a graph to a cubic equation would look like, how to determine answers for x, y, and z in a system of 3 linear equations, etc. Oh no. Here I get to see people pull out their TI-83 graphing calculators to figure out the oh-so-difficult problem of 2 + 1. I'm not kidding. If I was, may God strike me down now. And everytime I see this, I want to cry.

[Doc Holliday]

...listen here you fat, balding bastard it's MOORS...

Moops!

[Million]

Nah, a person who has trouble with grade-school level math should've been put in the "special" classes with the rest of the funny-shaped head CDC kids. This is not something that should require deep thought if you are beyond at least 3rd or 4th grade.

Again, how would such a person function in every day life? There's simple math in nearly every situation in life...even something as small as counting down the minutes you have left on your break at work, or funny little things in your mind, like "lol 5 hot broads = 10 hot tatas, 10 great cheeks."

There is no excuse. High school drop outs shouldn't even have a problem with things like 2x5. I'd even go so far as to say my so-called friend I refer to here as "Dumbass" wouldn't have much of a problem figuring that out, and he has a learning disability, and failed once or twice in elementary school, if I recall.(*there is another thread coming up soon about "Dumbass". Stay tuned, folks!)

[CoMpOuNd]

I guess I'm taking the short white bus to school next week. :sad:

word.

[Satomiblood]

All you need to know about U.S. presidents: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc9y5ayeeb4

[Taichi]

Like I said, I should've known Johnson, I remember hearing that in HS, but I had either forgotten, or never really paid enough attention for it to sink in, so my best guess was Nixon.

I was wrong.

[Dasrik]

On topic, this was fake when Jay Leno did it and it's fake now.

[Biolink]

The 5 x 2 question should have been given.

Anyway I think the problem also lies in that,adults tend to over analyze things.Plus alot of these kids are probably learning some of this stuff right now,while these adults were learning it over 20-30 years ago,and are usually too occupied with their family or work to brush up on alot of this stuff.

[Ragetowersrage]

This show can suck my ass. It took them 10 minutes to ask and answer two fuckin questions. And then they cut off the answer to go to commercial. So yea, fuck this show. It's just a ratings filler to make up for nothing being on thursdays.

Fuck you Jeff Foxworthless, and fuck your show.

[white shadow]

This show can suck my ass. It took them 10 minutes to ask and answer two fuckin questions. And then they cut off the answer to go to commercial. So yea, fuck this show. It's just a ratings filler to make up for nothing being on thursdays.

Fuck you Jeff Foxworthless, and fuck your show.

The man has the right answer, Na = Sodium MOTHERFUCKER!!!:mad: Stop wasting SO MUCH DAMN TIME!!!:annoy:

[Ragetowersrage]

The man has the right answer, Na = Sodium MOTHERFUCKER!!!:mad: Stop wasting SO MUCH DAMN TIME!!!:annoy:

Its just a way to keep people watching. Cause if you heard the answer they you would flip channels. But this way they make you stay, then you hear the next question and so on.

So yea, fuck this show. Wannabe Who wants to be a millionaire my ass..

[Emil]

I just watched this show and I don't really like it. First off, the title of the show is misleading. This isn't testing how smart you are, this is testing how good your memory is, most of the time for irrelevant things. Are Walruses native to the Arctic? Who cares? What kind of a stupid question is that?

Kids are generally taught at this age, very useless things that will likely never be applied in the real world. It's understandable that an older person would forget these useless facts as they learn something more meaningful.

[youngcipher]

I just watched this show and I don't really like it. First off, the title of the show is misleading. This isn't testing how smart you are, this is testing how good your memory is, most of the time for irrelevant things. Are Walruses native to the Arctic? Who cares? What kind of a stupid question is that?

Kids are generally taught at this age, very useless things that will likely never be applied in the real world. It's understandable that an older person would forget these useless facts as they learn something more meaningful.

Co-sign

[AlterGenesis]

Maybe if they'd ask even somewhat of a real math question like "What is the inverse root of 2/5" or something, a 5th grader would obviously be befuddled and have no clue. Clearly, this is just making people looking stupider than they really are, while this show is not based on intellect whatsoever. Whoever idea was this show should be shot.

[Jizzz_frame]

i agree the kids are learning the stuff now so there are probably some answers they could know that i wouldnt. for example i typically get my liquid and solid measurements confused, so i probably wouldnt remember how many ounces are in a liter or something like that. but the questions so far are super easy. except the andrew johnson one which i knew but didnt expect anyone else to know.

what pisses me off is stupid jeff foxworthy. guy is annoying. and they only ask like 6 questions per show. gosh i hate it. the first guy got 5k and didnt get a single answer right. bulsh.

also, if a japanese person doesnt know who superman is, thats not stupidity, its a culture difference perhaps. if someone asked me something that has to do with japanese fish, i probably wouldnt know.

[Mogri]

also, if a japanese person doesnt know who superman is, thats not stupidity, its a culture difference perhaps. if someone asked me something that has to do with japanese fish, i probably wouldnt know.

no. I think you would know.

According to Japanese laundry detergent, Mister Sparkle (or Meestah Spacko) is a combination of
1) Fish + Cup
2) Fish + Box
3) Fish + Light bulb

you know it, so Japanese should know kryptonite + superman = owned

[Dummy Account]

It's 3! 3!!!!!!!11!!!

[Taichi]

the 5x2 thing was part of a larger question, they just extracted the good "Oh Shit!" part, to make the guy look even dumber than he was.

and the bitch that followed him?, Yeah, you dumb cunt, just because Hawaii and Alaska aren't CONNECTED to the Continental United States, does not mean they don't border the Pacific Ocean.

[kindaichi]

They should ask Jeff Foxworthy and the producers of the show

"What do the 5 fingers say to the face" and slap those fuckers

[frostfeuer]

I'm pretty sorry I missed this show, but at the same time, I'm not surprised by the results. Hold on, don't dismiss this remark as a random "Americans are dumb" diatribe, though, the average American is quite the fucktard. There is an explanation for this, and a bit of a scary/sorry implication mixed in as well:

When people reach a certain age, usually in early adulthood, the brain goes through changes which result in specialization. The extent of this process differs from person to person, and for those who aren't exercising their brains in a variety of areas... well, you can figure that out for yourself. This doesn't quite explain the guy who couldn't answer 2x5.. though he could be an extreme example. That or he was so nervous he had a mental breakdown that he'll never live down for the rest of his life.

I'll draw upon two examples from this thread: the woman who couldn't figure out which border was longer, and the Japanese girl that didn't know who was vulnerable to kryptonite. This is demonstration of knowledge based on relevance. Don't get ethnocentric on the Japanese girl; kryptonite vulnerability is pure trivia, and while she could recognize Superman, she'd prolly also ask who the fuck Lex Luthor was. As for the woman who thought we had a longer border with Mexico, blame the media. I'm fairly certain that the hoopla around defending the border from illegals has played up the length of the border and propelled her geography-deficient mind to answer Mexico.

Even as we learn about our states, capitals, and world geography, there isn't much in our culture to reinforce our need to keep this knowledge, and we eventually discard this. I'm dead certain that at some point in all these participant's lives, they've learned this material (assuming regular attendance, and completion of elementary school). We can blame our educations system a bit, but at the same time, individuals make subconscious choices to keep or discard knowledge. The fact that this happens a lot with Americans consistently in certain areas of academic knowledge like geography... you can draw your own conclusions. 80% of these mooks can't find any of the countries we bomb.

[Taichi]

I ALREADY EXPLAINED THE 2X5 thing.

the question wasn't "What is 2x5?" it was "How Many Teaspoons are in five Tablespoons"

he said ten, he thought a teaspoon went into a tablespoon twice.

he was wrong in that regard, but he was NOT wrong on the 2X5 part of it.

the commercial was misleading in that regard, as they singled out only the 2x5 part.

that was the fault of the person editing the footage for the commercial, NOT the fault of the man answering the question (although, he fails for claiming he would paint a Lamborghini Camoflage)

[white shadow]

^ Yeah I realized that myself. That's showbiz for ya.

What I also notice is that they also instill the "you're dumb" mindset very early in an effort to lower the confidence level of contestants.

[Ragetowersrage]

(although, he fails for claiming he would paint a Lamborghini Camoflage)

Yea but if you did that then the cops couldnt see you when youre hauling ass!

[Henaki]

I love how people think a woman living in japan not knowing superman's weakness is makes her retarded. Or the fact that some people don't know the first impeached president. It's trivia for a reason. And I know smart as hell people who are just really horrible at math (bad short term memories do that to you), but the 2x5 thing was already explained. Obviously not genius smart but above average smart. America is also notably ignorant, not dumb, which is pretty much one of the biggest reasons they're really bad at trivia. They simply don't care about a lot of things.

[TS]

People love to think that other people are dumb.

[Jizzz_frame]

im dumb. i wouldnt know how many teaspoons go in a tablespoon

O_O

[Taichi]

I didn't know either, I guessed ten, my brother, who graduated with an HONORS DIPLOMA, and Two Presidential Academic Achievement Awards didn't know it either.


he guessed 20.

[Biolink]

3 teaspoons go into one Tablespoon IIRC.

[Taichi]

Indeed.

[MiyagiShin X]

Personally i dislike jeff foxworthy and i dislike how this show is stupid. What everyone said above is correct. They asked 6 questions i believe 6! thats it! wasting my damn time!

[Magnetro]

THE CARD SAYS MOOPS!
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Million]

Measurements would get me though. I just wasn't really paying attention when we went over that wayyy back in elementary school, and I could never remember any of it for a decent amount of time. Short-term memory probably got me thru that material whenever it was on a test. Ounces, quarts, gallons, liters....it's just random numbers for me. The most I can say is that I recognize 2 liters, as that's usually the size of your typical big jug of soda.

hmm....just how did Foxworthy get so popular back in the day with the "You might be a redneck if...." jokes? It seems we were all more easily amused back in the 80s and early 90s. Stuff that was hilarious back then barely gets a smile now. eh, it's a terrible style of comedy, imo....the whole "If ___ does ____.....then he might be a ___."*repeat 12 times* routine. It gets stale FAST.