Wit

[catchafire]

How do you develop a razor sharp wit? I'd like to be a witty individual so please do share if you understand ways to be so.

[Grits'N'Gravy]

I think you just have to practice rapid fire smartass responses to a lot of things, a few good lines will come eventually even if you're lame at the beginning. After that, you should be able to think up funny stuff on the fly.

I think a lot of it is natural ability though, but besides that... you should be well versed in pop culture to be able to weigh in on any issue.

[*InVeRs3*]

Start making fun of people and make smart ass remarks in your head when outside. There is usually some smart ass comment you can make to anyone or anything. With practice, it'll come.

But I'm not really witty.

Ever notice how comedians are pretty angry people? Well they say wit is just a way to release anger.

[Team Cable]

Read a lot.

It doesn't have to even be funny. Classic novels, good one liners in mags, anime subtitles, anything so it can give you inspiration or you can even twist some words around, replace words and make it all your own.

[Gasp]

i suggest you just get really buff so if anybody cracks wise about you
you just pop them in the mouth
then stand over their corpse and go either:
A.) NO U!
or
B.)NO YOUR ______!

[Irennicus]

There's two forms of wit that I really like. The first one (the obvious one) is the ability to just have a perfect response to anything. People that have that power are hilarious.

My favorite form is when someone actually starts describing something and taking their time. I love the 8 paragraphs of unbridled ownage.

[Digitalbooty]

Text the word "Wit" to 77990 and get some of the WITTIEST comment around AND chat with SEXY SINGLES!! That's "WIT" to the number 77990!! Do it now! You won't be sorry!

[Grits'N'Gravy]

i suggest you just get really buff so if anybody cracks wise about you
you just pop them in the mouth
then stand over their corpse and go either:
A.) YOU DIE
or
B.)TREMBLE BEFORE MY MIGHT!

Fixed it for you. :wgrin:

[DJTPC]

Learn french.
Spend two years on blogs.

At least, you'll know how TO NOT be witty.

[Hokuto Shingo]

I think I was just born with it. I got in trouble so much in school because of my quick smart assed mouth.

[Digitalbooty]

On a serious note, I can only be witty in person, and when I'm in a good mood. I can't have my mind on something else. It's weird, I get all kinds of compliments on my wit, but sometimes it's on, and sometimes it's off.

[Pablo_the_Mex]

There is a thin line between being witty and an utter dick. It should come naturally, other wise you will just come across like a smart ass. Just do not get your ass beat.

[thurst]

watch sitcoms. wit is more about timing than the actual joke being made and half the time it's just having the balls to just say what everyone else is thinking.

example: today my frat bro's girl was bitching about how the guys at work don't treat her with respect and don't give her any responsibility.
now the obvious joke here is some shit involving women not belonging in the workplace to begin with or alluding to it, not particularly original but everyone is thinking of some variation of the same joke so i went ahead and said "well maybe you should stay in the kitchen and make us brownies instead." everyone laughs, high fives around, all about timing, the wittiest shit is mad obvious or at least points out the obvious.

[Raziel321]

u either got it or you dont. its mostly confidence.

[catchafire]

i suggest you just get really buff so if anybody cracks wise about you
you just pop them in the mouth
then stand over their corpse and go either:
A.) NO U!
or
B.)NO YOUR ______!


Laughed my ass off... lol.

[Taichi]

only Emo kids play with razors.

[terracotta]

Read a lot.

It doesn't have to even be funny. Classic novels, good one liners in mags, anime subtitles, anything so it can give you inspiration or you can even twist some words around, replace words and make it all your own.

watch sitcoms. wit is more about timing than the actual joke being made and half the time it's just having the balls to just say what everyone else is thinking.

yep.

it's like any skill.. you've gotta immerse yourself in what's out there. the more you're exposed to, the more flexible and resourceful your brain becomes.

apply judgement though, lest ye step on someone's toes. i wouldn't say the line between "witty" and "asshole" is thin at all.

==

not all humor is created equal. take Mitch Hedberg, or Bill Cosby, or Richard Pryor.. their styles are more innocent, and would probably be welcome anywhere. by "innocent" i don't mean PG-13.. the right description would probably be "appealling to higher values" (even Pryor).

guys like Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock have good solid styles as well, but i'd probably put them high-mid tier. the words to describe their styles evade me at the moment.. maybe someone can break it down for me.

then there's everyone else..

==

as well as speed of thought it's important to develop the way you want your mind to spin things. you can adjust your sense of humor with practice. for example, a lot of people find it easier to be sarcastic than to make an insightful observation. would it be wrong to say that most sarcastic people are more angst-ridden, while those that make clever insights have more patience and creativity? maybe, but i wouldn't discard the notion.

notice how Richard Pryor is still funny when he goes impromptu. some comedians despise hecklers, while for others dealing with heckling is a way to show off their real ability. style of humor is very much tied into personality, and you can tell a lot about yourself by what kind of jokes you attempt.

if you don't like being sarcastic, keep your lips tight when the next sarcastic comment jumps to your mind. think in a different direction for a different comment, and with practice you're not so sarcastic anymore.

[terracotta]

oh.. and for comedians, personal faves would be:
- Richard Pryor
- Bill Cosby
- Mitch Hedberg
- Demetri Martin
- Eddie Murphy
- Chris Rock

famous comedians i don't really like:
- Robin Williams: always seems like he's on a sugar high.. he doesn't really hit you with solid material, but throws so much material at you that you have to laugh at some of it.
- George Carlin: keeps talking about religion when half the world doesn't care, heavy-handed delivery of all the philosophical insights. amusing but not funny.
- Jamie Foxx: that Roast Of Emmett (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEsP0adOAeg) is probably the funniest thing he ever did, and it only works because it's at someone else's expense. pick any typical Jamie Foxx stand up (e.g. anything here (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jamie+foxx+stand+up&search=Search)) and you run into a slightly racist, hypocritical, disrespectful, and unfunny guy.

[pherai]

watch sitcoms. wit is more about timing than the actual joke being made and half the time it's just having the balls to just say what everyone else is thinking.

Most american sitcoms just rely on loud reactions to comedic situations (hence, sitcom), no real wit involved. That and generally the situations aren't funny. That and generally sitcoms themselves aren't funny.

[thurst]

every american sitcom usually has a chandler bing type of character that usually just belts out one-liner after one-liner. check pretty much every show in syndication and you'll see that character.

[Higher-Jin]

Fixed it for you. :wgrin:

You forgot "Pitiful Scum"

[angryliberal]

practice

[PanderanGambler]

You cant develop it. You have to be a fast thinker by default.

[Shotokan Symphony]

- George Carlin: keeps talking about religion when half the world doesn't care, heavy-handed delivery of all the philosophical insights. amusing but not funny.
I'd agree... but only as far as recent material goes. Anything YOU ARE ALL DECEASED and prior to it are gold.

[angryliberal]

You cant develop it. You have to be a fast thinker by default.

this isn't true at all. like all things, you simply have to exercize the mind and work on it. i know alot of people who had no ability to quickly respond that pick it up the more they hang out with smartasses...it helps alot to be a natural quick thinker, but it is definately a skill you can aquire and hone...

[Demon Dash]

The problem with sitcoms is you don't always have sheer wit. Alot of them tend to be more goofy than sarcastic or witty, but not all of them follow this trait.

[angryliberal]

there are a few sitcoms who's humor is relevant to quick wit. scrubs, the office, arrested development, seinfeld, larry sanders, curb, etc...i recognize most of those as adding something to my sense of humor, and my wit.

[Zulu]

Practice. My friend Jose said this about me: 'Brandon, you talk how a writer writes. You say what your going to say, say it, then you say what you said.'

And if you want to see a real master of wit, watch Bea Arthur in Golden Girls. Not many people can keep up with her.

[terracotta]

i usually feel like my brain is hemorrhaging when i watch Seinfeld. it used to be funny but now it's just irritating for some reason.

[DaDesiCanadian]

I think being really proficient with the language has something to do with it. I'm one of those people who always has a response to everything. I've always had a rep for being the class clown because i'd always piss off teachers with a smartass response when I fucked up. It's just a combination of thinking fast and knowing the language. Half being born with it, half learning.

[angryliberal]

see, i wasn't a class clown. i was this shy quiet, really nice guy untill college. in fact, i would flame the shit out of my younger self...then i would rape it, rape it good...and it would be perfectly legal, it would amount to masturbation...

anyways, i was in theater and took a few improv classes, that helped a lot, lots of good exercizes and such...

[Jida]

I used to think of a bunch of smart-assed shit when I was younger because things would piss me off. I eventually started saying these things out loud. I guess I'm a natural...

[PanderanGambler]

this isn't true at all. like all things, you simply have to exercize the mind and work on it. i know alot of people who had no ability to quickly respond that pick it up the more they hang out with smartasses...it helps alot to be a natural quick thinker, but it is definately a skill you can aquire and hone...


You can't teach a moron new tricks.

[Shotokan Symphony]

You can't teach a furry new tricks.yup.

[JackTenrac!]

- Golden Girls ftw, then comes Chandler(sadly) for me. But yeah, reading alot.

...that went well.

[shoo]

go into your brain
go to options
and on the wit setting,
set that to turbo 3

:tup: good to go

[Zachman]

"a dropout will surpass a genius with hard work"

[Unreallystic]

Read a lot.

It doesn't have to even be funny. Classic novels, good one liners in mags, anime subtitles, anything so it can give you inspiration or you can even twist some words around, replace words and make it all your own.

I second that. Reading will help tons. So will just having an 'inner meanstreak'.
- :bluu:

[ruthless_nash]

if its in the genes, ITS IN THE GENES. lol

[DaDesiCanadian]

"a dropout will surpass a genius with hard work"

If you're using Naruto quotes, you just fail at everything.

[The Green Trench Coat]

I watch a lot of judge ____ shows and practice coming up with witty retort for there corny ass comments. I'm so ready for judge judy.

- Golden Girls ftw, then comes Chandler(sadly) for me. But yeah, reading alot.

...that went well.


It's okay blanche. Rose start the coffee I'll get the cheesecake.

[PanderanGambler]

yup.

You seem a little lost

[catchafire]

go into your brain
go to options
and on the wit setting,
set that to turbo 3

:tup: good to go

Man, I wish it were so simple. If my brain were an operating system, I think i'd still be stuck on windows ME. Some guys here probably have dual loading Operating Systems, while some might have Win95 and really know how to get the best out of it, while another might have Vista and havn't learned it's true potential yet.

My best approach to improving my wit is:

1. Going more to the gym so that I can build my confidence.
2. Reading more.
3. Training myself to saying funny things at another's expense.
4. Learning English and improving on my speech.

It's a start.

[Zachman]

If you're using Naruto quotes, you just fail at everything.

You seem to be oblivious to my humor.

[mr. newbie]

seinfeld and scrubs. the office maybe?

[Havoc]

You're either witty or you're not. You can't practice it. It's natural.

Practiced wit isn't actually funny. People will laugh anyway, but you'll just be that guy that's always trying to be funny. Nobody REALLY likes that guy.

Oh, and yeah, American sitcoms are shit.

Demetri Martin is funny.

That's all.

[Bounce]

develop some instinct by saying the first thing that comes to your head. then have confidence to say it aloud.

finally- learn the way of the smart ass, answer back to all stupid question with a dumber answer.

[Silentness!]

You cant develop it. You have to be a fast thinker by default.

You're either witty or you're not. You can't practice it. It's natural.

Practiced wit isn't actually funny. People will laugh anyway, but you'll just be that guy that's always trying to be funny. Nobody REALLY likes that guy.



u either got it or you dont. its mostly confidence.

Yes you can try and practice being witty, but it really does come down to whether you're a natural or not.
______________________

I say some of the those most fucked up shit, but I do it for my own amusement. I remember going to a photoshop and making fun of their pictures.

Me: Why is the whole family wearing coordinating red sweaters... are they a cult or mocking the Adams family?
They found it awkward/hilarious.
______________________________

You can't fake it. Just do it...

[ytwojay]

"a dropout will surpass a genius with hard work"
Rock Lee ftl

[Carpet Lint]

I'd add Patton Oswalt too the list too. Yes, he's on King of Queens, but his stand-up is insane. See if you can catch his bits on Conan as well - it's not really an interview, it's just Conan lobbing up lines for him to go to the stand-up material.

"The necklace was made of vaginas." GODDAMN

Forget this "you're born with it or you're not" nonsense.

Wit is two things.

1) Being fast.
Being mentally fast is just the same as being physically fast. You can train at it, you can get faster. Course, you won't be very fast if you were born with club feet or a predisposition to balloon up to 300 pounds. If you have 75 IQ, there's not a lot of room for wit in your life.

But we're not all born as idiots, without the capacity to improve. But if it doesn't come naturally to you now, that's probably because you got fat and lazy down the road and you can't run that well anymore. Probably because of your friends.

Don't surround yourself with lazy fat people if you want to become a runner. That whole nature versus nuture angle is complete nonsense because it all comes down to what the type of people the friends you regularly hang out are. You hang out with bums, it's likely you'll end up a bum too. You get this? This is probably the most important thing.

If your friends are dumbasses, and thus so will you become a dumbass. If your friends are sharp, then you all get sharper by rubbing against each other (way homo).

If you're still in school or something, you should check out the debate team. Especially if you have those debates where they give you a random topic, and you immediately have to come up with arguments either for or against it. Do enough you see patterns, and you find shortcuts, and you get faster.

I'd say improv classes, but I've never actually been to one, and they sound gay as hell.

Be sociable, talk to people. It's all about getting those sweet XP points, leveling up, and putting all those points into speed. See patterns, find shortcuts, get faster.

Just DO STUFF. Study, learn, read, whatever - keep your mind sharp, don't let it rust, keep it oiled and running.

2) Knowing what to do with that speed.
Read everything, watch all the good movies you can. The classic ones. Get a sense of language, build that vocabulary, plagurize all the shit you want. Good artists copy, great artists steal. Absorb all the information you can. Popculture, the top 40, movies, shows, sports - everything. You get the connections up in your head, you get the analogies flowing, there's nothing anyone knows that you don't, and you can't be outwitted by someone bringing up something you don't know about. Not witty when you misinterpret someone making a sarcastic comment or a movie line. How you like them apples?

Course, you only need to know what the people around you know. Just enough that you're not outwitted by them. Again, the whole friends angle - if your friends are dumb, you don't need to know much. But once you step outside your circle of friends and you only have enough to outwit some idiots, then you're still not witty.

Practice. Like on SRK, where you can practice the second thing without the first - you're not standing in front of anyone with a time limit on when you need to come up with a witty response. Here you have the luxury of being able to Google the right facts, thesaurus the right words, time to put them together properly. You're doing all the stuff you should, but there's no time limit. You can learn what to do with the speed before you actually get the speed.

That's what everyone's doing here already anyway. SRKGD is composed entirely of guys hiding behind computer screens trying to be funny. If you have all the time in the world and all the resources of the internet available to you...and you still post something stupid...then what good are you when you don't have those luxuries?

Practice and learn. There's no set exercises to build your wit muscle up, it's just repetition, going back and forth with your friends...and then taking all those ideas and those skills and just reapplying them slightly differently.

If you're not witty...chances are that your friends are either idiots or stoners.

* This has been an educational message brought to you by Carpet Lint. *

[Silentness!]

^ witty ^ (Carpet Lint)

[JackTenrac!]

* This has been an educational message brought to you by Carpet Lint. *:clap:

...and knowing is half the battle.

Someone please sticky this! Btw...check out Dan?, Adam Warlock, Quiche, and Carpet Lint's posts for some more of that.

...that went well!

[DanD]

Hang out with assholes and listen to what they say, but more importantly when and how they say it.

Often a mediocre comment can become "witty" when belted out at the opportune time with the opportune tone.

Also, the easiest way to be an asshole is to merely trivialize what others are really into/interested in. I've noticed alot of people will laugh at mere trivializations even when the comment itself is hollow and contains no merit...

[Irennicus]

Also, the easiest way to be an asshole is to merely trivialize what others are really into/interested in. I've noticed alot of people will laugh at mere trivializations even when the comment itself is hollow and contains no merit...

The question isn't whether or not you want to be an asshole, it's whether you want to be witty. They aren't the same thing.

Also, I agree with Carpet Lint. Well, maybe except for the stoner part.

[DanD]

The question isn't whether or not you want to be an asshole, it's whether you want to be witty. They aren't the same thing.

Also, I agree with Carpet Lint. Well, maybe except for the stoner part.


Indeed that's why I made the distinction. The easiest way to learn wit is to be around it. Often, people associate wit with getting a laugh out of a comment (or at least some of the people I know do). So if you hang around with people that get laughs but are just assholes it does no good for wit development.

Hrm... Perhaps some of the people I know are just dumbasses. Regardless, the distinction is important to make though I didn't properly articulate it. Thanks for the clarification.

[Wild Kitty]

I love a few things about this topic.

1. It took so long to be posted, this shit really has been a long time coming to gd.

2. How serious you guys are all taking this, I would only expect this from GD as all you see are poor attempts at wit here anyway.

3. I seriously can't fucking believe it took this long.

[terracotta]

humor's a very important part of how the mind functions, but afaik there hasn't been much work on it scientifically.

and yeah, everyone should go back and read Carpet Lint's post again.

[Doc Holliday]

You can't teach a moron new tricks.

Was that supposed to be wit? Because really, replacing "old dog" with "moron" is so fucking witty. Seriously, you should keep doing what you're doing.

[AdverseSolutions]

if you want wit practice, there's a guy named kang in the thinking out loud who doubles as the srk training dummy.

[pherai]

scrubs is to wit, like being raped is to having sex: forced and overwhelmingly unenjoyable. but hey, to each his own.

[Against Me!]

for good sitcoms check out: titus, father ted, fawlty towers and cheers (first few seasons)

[blankspaces]

if you want wit practice, there's a guy named kang in the thinking out loud who doubles as the srk training dummy.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[supaman]

I find if u do your research n know what it is u are talking about u have a damn good wit.

Personally people think i'm an asshole for using my wit not because i want to be one but for the fact that they cannot counter to what i got to say or r proven wrong by me

[mr. newbie]

hey anybody remember that comdedian who always used really complex words and long overthought ideas?

iirc he did a juno commercial, he used to have his own show...

[sambao]

date a girl who is hella smarter than you, and then let her break your heart.

that and read a lot of literature

[RoninDRE-X]

hey anybody remember that comdedian who always used really complex words and long overthought ideas?

iirc he did a juno commercial, he used to have his own show...

Dennis Miller