Let ya'll get a laugh at me

[Unreallystic]

So a small story for SRK that ya'll might find humor in.

So I'm in the process of moving in with my GF. I've been over her place alot lately trying to clean up - as her place is a mess. Well because of the condition of her house, we ended up sleeping in her 'dad's' bed all the time. Its technically not his - she bought it for him when he used to stay over cause he didn't ahve a place to stay. Well after laying the pipe a bit too hard and too frequently, we eventually broke the bed frame, so the shit has a lean.

So back to me moving in. In this process we are getting free furniture and getting stuff out of storage since we've finally been getting her house in order. She has a brand new fridge that has been in her dad's storage for the past year and a half unused. Well today I'm going to go pick it up. She wont' be there, just her dad and I. Well yesterday he said that after we move the fridge he'd like to get some other items of his still over there including his bed.

So I get to take him upstairs and explain to him that his frame is broken. He'l lask why :rofl: .

Should I tell him that I porked his daughter so hard we broke his bed and hers? Shoudl I come up with some lie about mole-men? Stil ltrying to figure it out, but in a few hours I have to have a good excuse. I have a feeeligns he's going to know about me laying the pipe in his daughter on his bed...:wgrin:
- :bluu:

[Biolink]

Think of something.:rofl:

Telling a man that you had sex with his daughter would be manly,but there is something about a man and his daughter.

Like an invisible boundary.He knows what is going on,but there is certain thing's that you just don't talk about(Unless he's that cool of a person).And it would be better off,left out of his mind.

[Phoenix Wright]

Just say that It gave out on it's own.

[ChairHome]

Just don't pretend that you didn't know. Make up some lie about jumping on it or something.

[Gain]

molemen

[Unreallystic]

Just say that It gave out on it's own.

Well he knows his daughter is sexual aactive, has been for sometime, and that I'm 6'6 black dude >_< he'll 'put it together'...its jsut going to be kinda uncomfortable. I'm leaning towards saying she jumped on it and the wheel broke. though she did jump >_<
- :bluu:

[Team Cable]

Pretend it's just something you never noticed.

Honestly, how bad is the lean? Obviously not too bad if you were able to still sleep.

Fuck that nigga, you deserve a high five because of the beastliness of you laying the pipe to your girl. Maybe if you just tell the dad that he'll buy you a beer. In all likelyhood he won't though.

[shatterstar]

molemen
"nigga, what Molemen?!"[/Samuel L. Jackson]

[shoo]

id blame it on the amish

theyre always up to no good

[Septimus Prime]

Say nothing. He'll know what's up and probably won't want to talk about it either.

[Rod Driguez]

Just say that It gave out on it's own.

Because even if he's going to put it all together on his own anyway, that doesn't mean you need to spell it out yourself. It's the respectful thing to do.

[Unreallystic]

Pretend it's just something you never noticed.

Honestly, how bad is the lean? Obviously not too bad if you were able to still sleep.

Fuck that nigga, you deserve a high five because of the beastliness of you laying the pipe to your girl. Maybe if you just tell the dad that he'll buy you a beer. In all likelyhood he won't though.

The left bottom wheel is compeltley broken off, the leg it was attached to went from I guess 90 degrees to 30 degrees >_<. Her bed got fucked up too. Haven't been able to put a dent in my bed though :cool:
- :bluu:

[bfnh]

does the girl watch sports?

say while cleaning up the room, you started to tell her a story about a hit that took place in a football game (high school that you played in, nfl that you watched, madden that happened at the barber shop -- it doesn't matter, but pick one and embellish the details) she starts to make fun of the situation, blah blah blah, and as she goes to walk buy, you play-tackle her.

double leg-takedown style.
spinebuster style.
and, the bed gave way.

but, if you're moving in w/his lil' girl, he already knows that you are trying to "deep root level" her. no matter what lie you tell, you need to tell the girl first.

[ChairHome]

say while cleaning up the room, you started to tell her a story about a hit that took place in a football game (high school that you played in, nfl that you watched, madden that happened at the barber shop -- it doesn't matter, but pick one and embellish the details) she starts to make fun of the situation, blah blah blah, and as she goes to walk buy, you play-tackle her.

double leg-takedown style.
spinebuster style.
and, the bed gave way.


That's pretty damn elaborate

[Unreallystic]

The frustrating part - they have the same bed, but the same wheel on the same side of the bed is fucked up. I could try to fix it with a hammer...but I don't have the time to do that.

And her dad knows me *I dated her back in high school* - he knows I only play basketball. Though her family is big into wrestling...hmm

"So yeah I was watyching a WWE match and telling her about this move I saw, she asked me to try the move on her, and yeah...the bed couldn't take it >_<" - too bad I suck at lying now
- :bluu:

[bfnh]

you could go the simple route -- you were walkin' around in socks, stepped on a nail or screw, it hurt like hell and you fell back onto the bed and it couldn't handle the weight.

lies are easy -- think of ways that could fuck up the bed and tell him that's what happened.

[Fenrir171]

same reason why the other bed broke?

[shatterstar]

you're 6'6, right?

just say, "i geuss when i sat down on the bed i must've sat down on it wrong, or (I/her/we) did'nt put the bed together right."

[The Chief]

I say turn the tables on him and ask HIM why the bed is broken...

[Unreallystic]

I say turn the tables on him and ask HIM why the bed is broken...

:rofl: classic :rofl:
- :bluu:

[Autocrat1]

Tell him she saw a mouse, jumped, hit an invisible coin box, and landed on the bed. Booyah.

[thurst]

Say nothing. He'll know what's up and probably won't want to talk about it either.

what he said

[arcticninja]

after you get the fridge, open it up and ask if he has any Gatorade. Then tell him you left all of your electrolytes in his daughter.

when he sees the bed, he'll put 2 and 2 together.

[hoax]

Tell him his daughter got a little too big for her britches and you had to hit her with a belt, on about the 4th swing she ducked for cover but as the car in SF2 got beat the fuck up, so to did her bed when she tried to fucking hide behind it like a 3rd character in marvel.

[orochizoolander]

Byahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[N-Ken]

Tell him you were sitting around one day and were bored so you decided to jump on the bed and break it out of spite, on some "hahaha take that nigga I broke yo bed!" shit

[Stuckey]

I posted a similar story in the Crazy Story Thread. Just come on out and say it. The truth that is....

[Unreallystic]

I posted a similar story in the Crazy Story Thread. Just come on out and say it. The truth that is....

"Before we go upstairs, I have to let you know something. your daughter is a freak. I fucked the hell out of her. We broke your bed doing it. I'm sorry."
- :bluu:

[Hunter D]

Just tell him his daughter got drunk and tried to jump over the bed.

[Stuckey]

"Before we go upstairs, I have to let you know something. your daughter is a freak. I fucked the hell out of her. We broke your bed doing it. I'm sorry."
- :bluu:

Well, leave all that to be implied of course. Don't actually say she's a freak and stuff :rofl:

Her dad: What happened to the bed?

You: It's broken. We broke it having sex.

After that, pray you don't get the same response that I did. But really, the guy can put 2 and 2 together on his own anyways. Since he knows she's sexually active anyways.

[Biolink]

If you guys have ever had to babysit,say that some kids were jumping in it,and it broke.

[PsychoSquall]

You can't lie. The bed being broken is just too damn obvious. There is no excuse other than hardcore fucking that would explain it's condition.

[shatterstar]

You can't lie. The bed being broken is just too damn obvious. There is no excuse other than hardcore fucking that would explain it's condition.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PSYCHO HAS PREM!!! YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

*pos reps*

[L.one H.iryu S.aga]

You can't lie. The bed being broken is just too damn obvious. There is no excuse other than hardcore fucking that would explain it's condition.

Exactly, but you can still lie. Shove the blame on an imaginary 'boy' of yours and leave it at that. The dude was housesitting/chillin' with his hunny over and when you came home...

...End thread.

[Mechanica]

Don't lie about it - it's too obvious... I think you'd have better luck playing dumb. All the proposed lies sound like nothing I'd ever believe if I were the dad... Telling a dad that you broke his bed because you were fucking his daughter on it is a terrible idea.

[Sasmasta]

Just remove the frame and say you don't use it and forgot where you stored it. If you don't have enough time, leave the window open then come back with him, walk in, look surprised and blame it on random thugs. Trash up your room (but you said it was dirty anyways, right? That's one step down). Maybe he'll feel bad if you say they stole the money you were saving up to buy her a gift and give you some creds. Now that's some shi' right there...indeed.

[Quan]

Just tell you sat down on it pretty hard one day cuz you were tired from work and it broke.

[Ragetowersrage]

Just put the leg/wheel back under where it is supposed to be. Like prop it up on there right before he gets tehre, so then when youre moving it, and the wheel falls off its one of those "I guess it was just time for it to break!"

Or just dont say shit, play dumb. If he asks just say "Hmm weird"

[Starhammer]

I say if he asks anything, act like you've lost your mind, jump on the bed, and go,"FUCK YO BED NUKKA!!! FUCK YO BED!!!!!"









.........since that probably won't work, I'd say just at least try to fix it so that it isn't immediately obvious that it's broken. unless he's planning to stay that night, then you're fucked................No pun intended.

-Starhammer-

[Ki Shima]

you should of just said you got excited about moving in so when you went in to take a look inside his room you ran and jumped onto his bed like an idiot and broke it


but obviously you didnt say this and now you've broken up with your girlfriend because she didnt stop her dad from knocking your head in

[Sasmasta]

Soooo...by now he prolly found out what happened, no? "Wha'happun?"

[Demon Dash]

Just say some big fat dude sat on it while you where blowing your load in his daughter's face... Never fails...

:tup:

[Rhio2k]

:bluu:

Just tell him you had to move it (for some reason) and didn't set it back up right, and it broke when weight was put on it.

[Unreallystic]

She told him when he called. He saw me today...very weird feelingsin the air >_<
- :bluu:

[Silentness!]

I'd say the truth... after I had planned a proper emergency route out of the house.

Say the truth then jump out the window when he gets mad.

[Nagata Lock II]

You're part of that VA/MD group aren't you? Tell him Baltimore Chun dropped by and had a sit. GGPO.

<3 James, please don't hurt me.

[9999]

She told him when he called.

The truth? Oh shit...

[Mizuki]

I'm leaning towards saying she jumped on it and the wheel broke. though she did jump >_<
- :bluu:

"Before we go upstairs, I have to let you know something. your daughter is a freak. I fucked the hell out of her. We broke your bed doing it. I'm sorry."
- :bluu:

Hehe made me laugh hella hard.

[Unreallystic]

Sorry she was coming into the room when I was typing earlier, and I know she wouldn't be fond of me putting it out htere like that. Her pops came over, but for time reasons didn't grab the bed. He saw it and we kept working on installing the fridge and getting out of there. Well later on he called her and asked where the rails were. She apparently told them that I'm a big guy and we actually prolly broke it 'a few times' but figured we'd fix it a little later.

So without reading too far between the lines he knows how it was broke. He came over today to get some shit from over here while I was cooking. Very VERY weird feeling, but what can you expect with the boyfriend moving in - you know your daughter is getting dicked...
- :bluu:

[EmptyJumpThrow]

Haha, exactly. He knows its going on, he just doesn't like to think about it. It's out in the open now though, so thats the end of that chapter. Sounds like you escaped unscathed.

[Silentness!]

I mean come on... how could you lie your way out of this situation?
_____

Moving in without having sex? What is this Three's Company!? Man + Woman + same house things are going to happen...