The latest pussification of American schools has been struck. [Archive]

The Damned

06-19-2007, 07:51 PM

Pfft...high five are lame as hell. If even a pariah like me knows it, then you would have to think that it's obvious.

As ridiculous as I have to admit the article sounded I was reading it, I actually agree with the measure, but that's mostly because it seems to ban public displays of affection, needless greetings gestures, and other just stupid things like "high fives".

That said, I'd bet if the school had a football team that it would still let them beat the hell out of each other on football field. That said, I have to say that I still find the "no blowout" rule more absurd than this and I loathe sports.

P.S. Looking will be banned in 2012.

Taito

06-19-2007, 07:59 PM

In the future, the movie 'Demolition Man' will be looked at with the same visonary praise as Orwell and HG Wells.

Chachi

06-19-2007, 08:27 PM

In the future, the movie 'Demolition Man' will be looked at with the same visonary praise as Orwell and HG Wells.Yeah, I'm not looking forward to only being able to eat at Taco Bell and having to use the three shells afterwards.

Also, Wesley Snipes will have himself cryogenically frozen in order to avoid jail time for tax evasion.

MrQuotes

06-19-2007, 08:28 PM

i swear to god
china's already taken over this country
there just subtly turning our future generations into pussies so they can have us any way they want us.

Starhammer

06-20-2007, 01:06 AM

In the future, the movie 'Demolition Man' will be looked at with the same visonary praise as Orwell and HG Wells.

OMG. I forgot about that. it seems like that's exactly where this is going. I just hope I'm dead before they make sex illegal.

-Starhammer-

Alex

06-20-2007, 01:47 AM

Damn im glad this wasnt in my school, id get bumped into by 1 of the 300 girls that diddnt like me every day just to get me in trouble.

Rhio2k

06-20-2007, 01:52 AM

Caucasian women are trying to turn all guys into wimps. Every time some pussy-ass rule was passed, a woman was behind it.

MrBlank

06-20-2007, 01:53 AM

Next thing you know they will ban firearms from school.

BBQ

06-20-2007, 02:07 AM

I'm probably going to end up like some crazy uncle your parents warned you about with the way things are going today and into the future. "Hey Johnny let me show you this thing we used to do as kids, it's called a high five!"

Kayin

06-20-2007, 02:18 AM

Wow, that's some straight-up fascist bullshit right there.

Bob Poundmax

06-20-2007, 02:32 AM

Well if students cant hug/make out with each other then its pretty safe to say that there will be more school shootings. I'm glad I'm not in school anymore.

orochizoolander

06-20-2007, 02:36 AM

OMG. I forgot about that. it seems like that's exactly where this is going. I just hope I'm dead before they make sex illegal.

-Starhammer-

enhance your calm.

"You get into shades of gray," Kilmer Principal Deborah Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' " :rofl:

Ragetowersrage

06-20-2007, 03:48 AM

"Did you see that goal Johny just scored?"

"Yea, he did-....wait a minute...Did he just high five his team mate?"

"OH GOD HE'S IN A GANG!!!!"

RockBogart

06-20-2007, 03:59 AM

OH GOD its in Virginia.............. :wtf:

Kid Wonder

06-20-2007, 04:43 AM

"Did you see that goal Johny just scored?"

"Yea, he did-....wait a minute...Did he just high five his team mate?"

"OH GOD HE'S IN A GANG!!!!"
I lol'd.

A few years of this during puberty stages would make any man a rapist.

Ninja Wallace

06-20-2007, 05:18 AM

No! Not the high-fives! Not the high-fives.

Doc Holliday

06-20-2007, 06:13 AM

Im in the army and when I was in basic kids still found a way to fuck in the dumpster and shit.

-SoK-

Truth

That said, I'd bet if the school had a football team that it would still let them beat the hell out of each other on football field. That said, I have to say that I still find the "no blowout" rule more absurd than this and I loathe sports.

I was waiting for the patented "sporto slap on the ass" to get brought up.

AcEtUrNeDjOkEr

06-20-2007, 06:29 AM

LOL...Fairfax of ALL places...great. I hope no one chokes eating their lunch...automatic GGPO

white shadow

06-20-2007, 06:31 AM

OH GOD its in Virginia.............. :wtf:

I wonder if the V-Tech....

maxx

06-20-2007, 06:34 AM

I wonder if the V-Tech....

dont think so..i have a feeling their totally unrelated. just schools being anal as usual.

ShawnLoganownzu

06-20-2007, 07:53 AM

gah my town gets hit with the high five bomb D:

im not surprised though, i understand why they did it.. you got a school thats overpopulated by like 300 kids and its heavily diversified...

what they need to do is send every kid who has below a C average to a special retard school...

and actually the v-tech kid did live like 20-30 minutes away from this middle school..

FallingEdge

06-20-2007, 08:00 AM

Pfffft. Who cares.

It's all about the Respek Knucles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVdUtbDAwGU

06-20-2007, 08:31 AM

Virginia is such an assbackwards state. I'm surprised taking a shower hasn't been banned yet.

And on the topic of Demolition Man(one of America's finest moments in cinema): Remember when they had to whipe their asses with the three seashells? Man, Sandra Bullock's ass must have stunk like utopian shit.

pherai

06-20-2007, 08:34 AM

This kid has a girlfriend in middle school? Shouldn't he just be getting into Magic the Gathering, Anime, and RPG's?

maxx

06-20-2007, 08:36 AM

This kid has a girlfriend in middle school? Shouldn't he just be getting into Magic the Gathering, Anime, and RPG's?

uhh you'd be lucky if he wasnt fucking the shit out of the girl. they take hormones to a new level.

jae hoon

06-20-2007, 08:47 AM

I know when I was in middle school all the guys were more worried about playing Nintendo and Football/Baseball/Basketball. Then again when I was in middle school if parents found out their kids were even thinking about having sex, they would have beat them upside the head with the stupid stick.

Team Cable

06-20-2007, 08:51 AM

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to only being able to eat at Taco Bell and having to use the three shells afterwards.

Also, Wesley Snipes will have himself cryogenically frozen in order to avoid jail time for tax evasion.

OK, in all seriousness, how the hell would you use the three seashells?

How will three seashells wipe up all that shit? What if it's that viscous diarrhea or clumpy shit?

Xero Kaiser

06-20-2007, 09:20 AM

OK, in all seriousness, how the hell would you use the three seashells?

How will three seashells wipe up all that shit? What if it's that viscous diarrhea or clumpy shit?

I've spent the last 13 years of my life trying to figure that out

Gimpy

06-20-2007, 09:43 AM

LOL...Fairfax of ALL places...great. I hope no one chokes eating their lunch...automatic GGPO

I was thinking the same thing. :lol:

TheRock-BoS

06-20-2007, 09:54 AM

Did anyone else think of Arrested Development?

NO TOUCHING!

Darkside3024

06-20-2007, 10:39 AM

Did anyone else think of Arrested Development?

NO TOUCHING!

I did. NO TOUCHING! I'm not touching!

RyuHikaru

06-20-2007, 12:35 PM

I'd make up a 10 step handshake just for this.

Starhammer

06-20-2007, 12:54 PM

the hell with that. I'd run up and bear hug the first hot looking teacher I saw. hopefully the girl's gym class is open when I get there. Either that or grab some chick and start doing the lambada from parking lot to lunchroom..............In Speedos.

-Starhammer-

AgantK7

06-20-2007, 12:59 PM

This is a joke, right? This has to be a joke...
-K7

RockBogart

06-20-2007, 01:01 PM

Virginia is such an assbackwards state. I'm surprised taking a shower hasn't been banned yet.

dumbest thing ive read so far this year.

maxx

06-20-2007, 01:06 PM

dumbest thing ive read so far this year.

umm...did you read the first post lol..i think high 5's beats everything.

Autocrat1

06-20-2007, 01:16 PM

I am staying my black ass away from Virgin I.A.

/black beast

Mizuki

06-20-2007, 01:29 PM

Thank goodness I'm outta High School

BananaWeed

06-20-2007, 01:40 PM

OMG NO! High-fives were the best thing about middle-school!

They should only enforce the rule for the kids that have a below-B average. That way, all the smarter kids could stand around giving each other high-fives and smug looks.

Lilman

06-20-2007, 01:42 PM

XZalla

06-20-2007, 03:26 PM

Pink tee ban were alot more better than high-fives...

akumachan

06-20-2007, 03:32 PM

Remember.

Zero tolerance = zero intelligence

-AC
**High fives starhammer**

k who is up for some ass slaps?

Team Cable

06-20-2007, 03:32 PM

Still no theory about the three seashells yet?

Anyone?

Starhammer

06-20-2007, 03:47 PM

**High fives starhammer**

k who is up for some ass slaps?

:tup: Ladies first or do we flip a coin?

-Starhammer-

Ragetowersrage

06-20-2007, 06:28 PM

Virginia is such an assbackwards state. I'm surprised taking a shower hasn't been banned yet.

What the fuck's that supposed to mean?:lame:

Panicked

06-20-2007, 06:33 PM

He thinks you guys are hicks, which I suppose must be true considering you just asked a question to which the answer is blatantly obvious....disregard! *Rides away in his Pimpmobile™*

Kyoujin

06-20-2007, 06:57 PM

This kid has a girlfriend in middle school? Shouldn't he just be getting into Magic the Gathering, Anime, and RPG's?

I remember in middle-school I was really interested in girls; I managed to make games/anime/etc my after school hobbies, and girls, making out, sucking tits at the movies my weekend hobby.

Here's a question I ask myself: what are they going to do about school dances?

fishjie

06-20-2007, 07:08 PM

on the poll 93% voted that this thing is absured

only 7% didnt

lol at the 7%

Starhammer

06-20-2007, 07:41 PM

I remember in middle-school I was really interested in girls; I managed to make games/anime/etc my after school hobbies, and girls, making out, sucking tits at the movies my weekend hobby.

Here's a question I ask myself: what are they going to do about school dances?

you shouldn't ask. Everyone will probably end up line-dancing country two-step style.

.............................To achy breaky heart. :sad:

-Starhammer-

orochizoolander

06-20-2007, 09:14 PM

I change my mind i just realized that banning high fives is the smartest idea in history no joke.

HAVE YALL FORGOTTEN THE QUARNOSIAN HIGH FIVE OF DEATH?

nice melons! high five?

nice shot high five?

nice painting high five?

WE MUST STOP FILBERT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!1111

Kid Wonder

06-21-2007, 03:31 AM

RockBogart

06-21-2007, 04:17 AM

umm...did you read the first post lol..i think high 5's beats everything.

Well for one Fairfax and the NOVA area in general is like its own separate state. They should have made it part of DC long ago. And VA is still no where near as bad as the pussies in Massachusetts who wont let anyone own a weapon or the crazy ass kids who beat up bums in Florida. Granted an Asian kid snapped and killed 32 people, was bound to happen eventually. We had been lacking in the crazy shit department for quite some time while other states were getting hit with it left and right. And last I checked no one had banned dodge ball in a VA school yet.

Starhammer

06-21-2007, 09:49 AM

who's that in your av rock? her ass is the main reason this law cannont pass.

-Starhammer-

JackTenrac!

06-21-2007, 09:56 AM

One question:

....How's that damn three seashell thing work?

*boom rimshot*

RockBogart

06-21-2007, 10:24 AM

who's that in your av rock? her ass is the main reason this law cannont pass.

-Starhammer-

The actress who plays Claire on Heroes. Im too lazy to look up her name right now.

Starhammer

06-21-2007, 10:31 AM

The actress who plays Claire on Heroes. Im too lazy to look up her name right now.

Cool. I'll take it from here. :tup: here it is. Hayden Panettiere. Slap that thang!!

-Starhammer-

BarrelO

06-21-2007, 11:02 AM

Virginia is such an assbackwards state. I'm surprised taking a shower hasn't been banned yet.

Watch your mouth, son.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that most of you supergeniuses couldn't be bothered to actually read the article in question before making your cute little smart-ass one line replies. If you had, you would've seen the part where it said that school officials were allowed to use their judgment in enforcing the rule and only repeat offenders were reprimanded. Being the curious soul that I am, I decided to do some further digging, and I found a Washington Post article (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/17/AR2007061701179_pf.html) on the same subject that contained the following choice tidbit:

It isn't as if hug police patrol the Kilmer hallways, Hernandez said. Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop girls who are holding hands and giggling in a huddle or a boy who pats a buddy on the back. Students won't get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem.

Typically, she said, only repeat offenders or those breaking other rules are reprimanded. "You have to have an absolute rule with students, and wiggle room and good judgment on behalf of the staff," Hernandez said.

Once again, reading > SRK.

RoninChaos

06-21-2007, 11:18 AM

Christ. High fives are like a god damned american institution.

06-21-2007, 11:20 AM

Christ. High fives are like a god damned american institution.

Yeah, seriously. Team Top Gun's main foundation was built around the high-five. Expect to see a lot of high-fiving at EVO World.

BananaWeed

06-21-2007, 11:45 AM

Students won't get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem.

LOL WTF?

jae hoon

06-21-2007, 11:47 AM

LOL WTF?

See again when I was in school you were just expected to answer the math problem or flunk. Possibly get hit in the head with a ruler if you werent paying attention.

Kids these days, they just need some old school ass kickings.

BTW I seriously hope that shit doesnt go on. Even mentioning it is a joke, all this positive reinforcement bullshit.:lame:

MrBlank

06-25-2007, 03:22 PM

BTW I seriously hope that shit doesnt go on. Even mentioning it is a joke, all this positive reinforcement bullshit.:lame:

The only positive reinforcement i will accept is if i get a blow job for every answer i got correct from a hot teacher.

Ho0v-Man

06-25-2007, 04:15 PM

The only positive reinforcement i will accept is if i get a blow job for every answer i got correct from a hot teacher.

If that was my positive reinforcement, I would have got a scholarship to Yale.

At least blowjobs haven't been banned from school.:wgrin:

Starhammer

06-25-2007, 06:46 PM

Watch your mouth, son.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that most of you supergeniuses couldn't be bothered to actually read the article in question before making your cute little smart-ass one line replies. If you had, you would've seen the part where it said that school officials were allowed to use their judgment in enforcing the rule and only repeat offenders were reprimanded. Being the curious soul that I am, I decided to do some further digging, and I found a Washington Post article (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/17/AR2007061701179_pf.html) on the same subject that contained the following choice tidbit:

Once again, reading > SRK.

the simple fact that they are thinking of banning something like this negates all that. they cold tell students to move along. Banning something is an entirely different thing. Way back my dumb-ass school tried to ban wearing ties because they thought of it as some sort of gang symbol. :wtf: yes. a freaking tie. what? was dressing up a little for class a BAD thing? What did they think we were, members of three-piece mafia or something? You all ready can't say "god bless you" without the PC Swat team pinning you to the floor, now a simple hand slapping motion can be considered grounds for punishment? So no. Reading didn't > SRK. SRK Roll-countered it with understanding. See ya next round................................

-Starhammer-

Radiantsilvergun3

06-25-2007, 07:14 PM

Well for one Fairfax and the NOVA area in general is like its own separate state. They should have made it part of DC long ago. And VA is still no where near as bad as the pussies in Massachusetts who wont let anyone own a weapon or the crazy ass kids who beat up bums in Florida. Granted an Asian kid snapped and killed 32 people, was bound to happen eventually. We had been lacking in the crazy shit department for quite some time while other states were getting hit with it left and right. And last I checked no one had banned dodge ball in a VA school yet.

No guns in Massachusets? then explain to me why my neighbor drinks after work then shoots the fucking cans and bottles with his shotty. Hes such a fucking hick.

RockBogart

06-25-2007, 07:29 PM

No guns in Massachusets? then explain to me why my neighbor drinks after work then shoots the fucking cans and bottles with his shotty. Hes such a fucking hick.

Well thats a shotgun so hes prob got a hunting permit or whatever. But I know for hand guns and less than lethal weapons like tazers you basically have to prove your life is in imminent danger. Which is a bitch to prove.