Dating women with kids [Archive]

pherai

11-08-2007, 02:48 PM

I wanted to hear SRK's personal experiences on dating women with a kid or kid(s). Is it too much of a hassle? Are they more mellowed out and not as crazy? Or completely the opposite?

It's just like dating an unattractive woman. You're making a compromise because unattractive woman and single mothers are more desperate so they are easier to pick up on. Great option for people who have no game.

NegroNinja

11-08-2007, 03:01 PM

...Unless the kids are yours I don't see a reason to do it. One, if you're young and want to party she can't go with you, or at least she SHOULDN'T be out partying with you because then you're encouraging her to neglect her kids in favor of going out boozing with you and your buds.

I had this lady friend once, I introduced her to my boys and she became part of our circle, always going out drinking with us and stuff. Bout a month later we find out she's actually got two kids, with a daddy who didn't want anything to do with them, and she was spending all her time out trying get laid like most people our age do..rather than actually being around them. She pretty much left them in the care of her Mom, which was for the best cause the bitch had no business being anyone's moral compass, but at the same time she was about to repeat the same mistakes that got her two kids in the first place!

It may not work that way for everyone though. If dig spending your weekends at home helping her take care of the kids, then you're a rare breed and more power to you but until they have kids of their own or hit the middle aged mark, most guys steer clear of that stuff for a reason.

randomsuper

11-08-2007, 03:05 PM

unless she's a keeper, just say no.

{PFH}-Lake

11-08-2007, 03:16 PM

dont know ive seen some really hot moms, kids give me crap id tell her to take care of them and if she doesnt Id leave her

The Epidemic

11-08-2007, 03:18 PM

nothing wrong with it to me....as long as your not taking care of another guys seed.

matrix9280

11-08-2007, 03:25 PM

Childbirth can wreak incredible havok on a woman's body (sagging breasts, stretch marks, etc.) Appearances can be very deceiving. Caveat emptor.

Taito

11-08-2007, 03:54 PM

nothing wrong with it to me....as long as your not taking care of another guys seed.
What I came in here to say.. the kid's got parents already, no need to give the kid another one if you're just dating.. if you're one of the guys that wants to marry into a pre-owned family, that's another story.. just don't get suckered into something you never intended to do..

blooper

11-08-2007, 05:11 PM

been there. its kinda hard to say whether its a good thing or not. cuz they cant just be categorized in one group. the chick i was with was pretty cool. she knew she made some mistakes in the past (not that her kids are mistakes) but she wised up and learned from her past not to chill with jerks. but i can still see the immaturity in her sometimes.

i also knew a few chicks that are just ridiculously irresponsible and still act like kids. tough to say.

try judging them disregarding the fact that she may have kids.

shatterstar

11-08-2007, 05:17 PM

It's just like dating an unattractive woman. You're making a compromise because unattractive woman and single mothers are more desperate so they are easier to pick up on. Great option for people who have no game.
100% true.

and since i have no game then it's 120% true. fo'real.

the girl im talking to currently is a mother with two kids + one *her mom...sigh*. it's coo for the moment but i've never was intrested in a woman that had kids. usually this was a instant turn off but this female is different, to me anyway. i think she good enough to be with but im not too sure that she's the exact woman for me.

i'd rather start my own seperate family, but that's just me bein' selfish. oh well. i'll just call this relationship play by play and if i see somethin that aint right im bouncin on her.

goodm0urning

11-08-2007, 05:29 PM

I wanted to hear SRK's personal experiences on dating women with a kid or kid(s). Is it too much of a hassle? Are they more mellowed out and not as crazy? Or completely the opposite?HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ahem.

No. Children do not mellow women out and make them less crazy. If anything, it gives them something else to be unreasonable and irrational over.

Since this is specifically about DATING women with kids... I'm just going to say this: should you end up getting attached, and should it end up not working out, the breakup is going to be a hell of a lot worse on you than it will on her. She already has a central focus in her life, and you are, always have been, and always will be, a DISTANT second. You are somewhere around reading the newspaper and grocery shopping on her priority list. That kid is going to take up the vast majority of her life, and what you'll be getting is scraps.

If you have any hope for a fair and equitable relationship, you will not get it by dating a mom.

pherai

11-08-2007, 05:36 PM

Haha, well, I was obviously making a generalization. Everybody makes compromises with relationships, and its just a matter of how important it is to you. When you think about it, it's a really tempting offer for young guys in their early 20's. An attractive chick who wants you who is in need of your help. It can bring out the captain save a ho in many a man. I'm not going to downplay wanting to help a single mother out as anything but noble, but I would say the majority of guys who get into situations like that aren't prepared for it.

SNAAAAKE

11-08-2007, 05:39 PM

really depends on the hotness meter...

you wanna avoid the kid though. dont fucking take the girl out WITH the kid..that shit is fucking lame and totally ruins the date or whatever.

Septimus Prime

11-08-2007, 05:43 PM

No thanks.

Rhio2k

11-08-2007, 05:45 PM

Eventually, they'll want you to give them money to help raise the kids. If you ain't in it for marriage or just a one-night stand, leave them alone.

scentless

11-08-2007, 06:03 PM

It all depends, if the woman you are talking about have a hot daughter go for it, after a while you can suggest a threesome...:tup:, if she decline it's not worth the trouble. If she agrees, just make sure the daughter is ''legal''...:confused:

As for me i wouldn't date a woman with childrens, i don't like being called ''dad'' by kids that aren't mine. Also the woman will probably be looking for any guy she can have just to make sure her kids have a ''male figure'' around. Not worth the trouble, especially if you aren't someone to look up for.

G.O.T

11-08-2007, 06:17 PM

lol @ scentless.

wait a minute your serious aren't you? : ( U sick fuckin puppy

b1gazn

11-08-2007, 06:25 PM

hell to the naw

its hard for me to be turned on by a girl whose "been around", let alone someone who has had somebody else's child.

hold dat

11-08-2007, 06:26 PM

my ex had two, a boy and a girl. and her son was autistic so it was really crazy at first.

it started with us working together and i was just trying to smash but i caught feelings and we lived together for 3 years. it had its ups and downs. in the end i have no regrets. it really depends on how the mom is with her kids and the father of her kids (if he's in the picture)

if she has unruly brats that shit wont work. plus she has to successfully divide her time between her man and her kids. then the man has to earn the kids respect and trust. it can be tough if certain things arent in place the way they should be. i got a 9 year old girl and a 14 yr old boy out of that past relationship that i regard as family even though me and their mother broke up but remained friends. sometimes it can be rewarding if you can handle it...i wont even get into the drama i had with their dad. and baby daddy drama is FUCKIN CRAZY. some dudes cant accept the fact that the girl left em'

aside from her all the other single moms ive been with wer just lookin for some dick. these women are spoiled so...i let em have it :lovin:

Atryu

11-08-2007, 06:30 PM

It depends how old you are and what are you looking for... but if you are in your 20s and looking for "rocking on dat ass like a Duracel-Bunny", I wouldn't expect much from a single mother.

Not like she wouldn't enjoy it or anything... but the kids are gonna be arround ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!

However, if you are in your 40s, divorced and looking for a peaceful relationship with moderated sex (or not at all), then it's probably a good choice.

Childbirth can wreak incredible havok on a woman's body (sagging breasts, stretch marks, etc.) Appearances can be very deceiving. Caveat emptor.

QFT!

Trix

11-08-2007, 06:36 PM

Honestly, I personally wanna avoid women in that situation simply because as far as the kids go, it would be incredibly difficult to sort of... "take the place" of whomever the biological father is of those kids. The second somethin goes wrong, you might get the "You're not my dad" crack back, and run into serious problems.

I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking this... Maybe if the woman is just too incredible of a person who you really connect with and you just can't let her get away.

Infested Jester

11-08-2007, 07:04 PM

Depends on the kid. I dated two girls, each with one young child. Wasn't bad at all since both of them were well behaved. As long as you know that she'll always put the kids before you, and if the kids themselves aren't rampaging beasts, then it's not bad at all. I have seen friends fall victim to the two potential problems I mentioned and it wasn't pretty.

Pablo_the_Mex

11-08-2007, 07:14 PM

Hit it then quit it. At least for those of us who are young, the last thing we need is some breezy who already has mouths to feed. Fuck that.

TheSix

11-08-2007, 08:17 PM

Umm, no.

doujinshi_2001

11-08-2007, 08:25 PM

ive dated a female with a 3 year old son and i dont think i would ever do it again she was mad emotional....there were times i wanted to tell her to chill out and take a fuckin zanax (sp) pill.....

not to mention her son was bad as hell

Asura

11-08-2007, 08:27 PM

It's like jumping in on Ryu from midscreen, you're asking for :dp::hp:

SmokedAlive

11-08-2007, 08:39 PM

atleast you know she puts out

Ragetowersrage

11-08-2007, 09:01 PM

Pro: Milfish

Con: Usually money hungry

jae hoon

11-08-2007, 09:03 PM

If you are going to avoid every woman with a kid, your going to be lonely for a very long time.

b1gazn

11-09-2007, 01:49 AM

If you are going to avoid every woman with a kid, your going to be lonely for a very long time.

umm no, its very easy to find a girl that doesn't have a child. Its really sad if you can't find a single person who does not have a child from a previous boyfriend or marriage. Either you live in the ghetto, where most kids do not have a father, or you like to attract "used" bitches.

I know somebody that some how managed to let his girlfriend(of 2 months) and her three kids move into his house for free. The oldest kid, is now pregnant, and will probably keep the kid. Now, in less than a month, he has 4 other people living with him. With another kid on the way. I've never seen such a positive person look so "down". He is spending less and less time at home, trying to avoid the three kids. When he use to primarily spend 85% of his time at home, the other 15% at bars/getting beers.

sadly enough, he got trapped and its getting worse by the day.

Most girls think they want the bad guy, but when its the bad guys turn to take responsibility, he runs away from it. Then the girl realizes that they need a nice man thats responsible, usually coming back to the less attractive person. The good guy gets played and the more attractive guy gets the girl pregnant. Thats how life works.

BBQ

11-09-2007, 02:28 AM

Like some one said "hit it and quit it." I wouldn't mind messing around with a woman that has a kid, but I wouldn't want a relationship out of it. Not all single moms are the same, I knew a girl that had 2 kids and when work and responsibility to her kids were in control, she knew how to have fun.

orochizoolander

11-09-2007, 03:19 AM

I got brain from a 29 year old mother of 5...

*leaves thread*

voodazz

11-09-2007, 03:45 AM

I've done a few MILFS but never dated them. I have no interest in being a father figure to anyone, but my OWN kids whenever I decide to have some.

Rhio2k

11-09-2007, 03:54 AM

If you are going to avoid every woman with a kid, your going to be lonely for a very long time.

It's saying stupid stuff like that that made Jesus want to put a rabbit in charge!

King9999

11-09-2007, 05:30 AM

I'd probably stay away. There's this one woman I wanted to date, but it's probably for the best that I don't. Things did not end well with her ex, and now she's fighting for custody of her child. I don't want to get involved in that shit...one way or another you'll get dragged into it.

Also, between you and the child, you're always going to lose to the kid. I've learned that the hard way. The woman you're into might be great, but a kid that isn't yours could complicate things. I'd be cautious.

ive dated a female with a 3 year old son and i dont think i would ever do it again she was mad emotional....there were times i wanted to tell her to chill out and take a fuckin zanax (sp) pill.....

not to mention her son was bad as hell

This sounds a lot like my situation, except the kid is a girl.

Biolink

11-09-2007, 06:29 AM

Depends on the kids.

If she has behaved kid that's young then it might work

If she has older kid they might be a little more needy and "Busy body"

If she has bad kids get the fuck out of there!NOW!!!!!
---------

I'm still a Highschooler.I met a really nice girl that has a 3 year old boy,and me and her connected pretty well so I can definitely see how some guys could get suckered into a relationship.

If possible I would like a girl with no kid.As somebody else mentioned I find it hard enough to ignore the girl's personal problems if she has been around the block a couple of times.The kid is extra icing on the cake.

Also if the Child's father is in the picture,and ever decides to come back into the picture she'd probably give your ass up in a minute to be with the "True" father of her kids.

RockBogart

11-09-2007, 06:31 AM

Sounds like a lot of you all have limited to no experience when it comes to the issue. And yes they do go out on normal dates, have you ever heard of a babysitter or the grandparents? Parents don't have to have their kids attached to the hip to be good parents. Granted there are times your going to be around their kid, its part of the package. But unless you plan on marrying her, don't sweat it. Not every single mother is looking for a father for their child.

Kisame

11-09-2007, 07:20 AM

avoid them at all costs.

Some trick tricked me saying she didnt have one but I broke up as soon as I found out she did. I dont like wasting time In relationships I know arent going to work and taking care of someone else's kid definitely won't work.

xero15

11-09-2007, 08:02 AM

It's just like dating an unattractive woman. You're making a compromise because unattractive woman and single mothers are more desperate so they are easier to pick up on. Great option for people who have no game.

hey thats like a slap in my face but im not taking offense. :lol: naw in the business i work in i see milfs all the time some i flirt with some i dont. for the most part i only flirt with them to get the money but some actually flirt back to the point they will leave twenty dollars and a number. hell i even had one look up my myspace to holla at me :lol: its all about who you are and finding out what they lookin for right off.

Infested Jester

11-09-2007, 08:40 AM

taking care of someone else's kid definitely won't work.

Thats not true at all. If both people are mature enough and the kid genuinely likes you it certainly has a chance of working. Problem is 90% of the time both parties have other intentions or a warped sense of what they want and think they can change shit that shouldn't or can't be changed.

RockBogart

11-09-2007, 09:48 AM

And a lot of you seem to forget the term "Joint Custody". Just because she is single doesn't mean she has the kid all the time. And most single moms with any sense don't bring you around their kids until like 1st or 2nd month.

catchafire

11-09-2007, 09:51 AM

I'm definately not going to pass on a woman who has kids. Its not the best situation, but its definately not the worst...

RockBogart

11-09-2007, 09:56 AM

I'm definately not going to pass on a woman who has kids. Its not the best situation, but its definately not the worst...

And at least you know shes fuckin.

Lantis

11-09-2007, 10:03 AM

Shouldn't you ask The Invincible Swordsman/RoninChaos? :confused:

Biggzy

11-09-2007, 11:46 AM

So do you guys want pics or what? lol

Shadow Ace 50

11-09-2007, 11:51 AM

I got brain from a 29 year old mother of 5...

*leaves thread*

:rolleyes:son..I smashed a 25 year-old milf with a 2 year old when I was 19...but good shit..you deserve the honor

na..women wit kids..instant fail

The Invincible Swordsman

11-09-2007, 12:13 PM

:lol: at most of the responses in this thread. :lol:

Honestly....... a woman's personality doesn't change when she has a kid. Her priorities change. But if she likes you, she'll work you into her schedule and she'll do it EASILY. If your peronalities/types match then getting with her won't be a problem at all.

The children are what you have to worry about, but kids are kids. You guys act like you don't remember yourselves as snotty little bastards. But as soon as you saw some candy "OOOOH! I like this person!!" :rofl: Kids are easier to deal with than you think.

The 2nd biggest worry IMO after the children is the biodad. Because like it or not these 3 things are pretty much universal truths......

#1 If the biodad is in their kid's life, you will NEVER be seen/loved as much by that child as their biodad.
#2 You're not gonna be allowed to discipline the child physically for a very long time. At least until you've been married for a year or two. This is something only the biodad is allowed to do.... for a long time.
#3 If the girl goes back to biodad, you don't get a gotdamn thing. You don't see the kids, you DAMN sure don't see the wife and if you had a kid with the wife...... that's right, you're probably not gonna see him/her either.

This has been THE INVINCIBLE SWORDSMAN saying:

I'm assuming you mean "dating" as "trying to have a relationship" right?

ShinAkumax

11-09-2007, 01:46 PM

Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.

pherai

11-09-2007, 02:36 PM

The children are what you have to worry about, but kids are kids. You guys act like you don't remember yourselves as snotty little bastards. But as soon as you saw some candy "OOOOH! I like this person!!" :rofl: Kids are easier to deal with than you think.

No one said kids shouldn't act like they do, just that they don't want to deal with it. Having to be around kids when I'm with my girlfriend is something I'd rather not buy into. If that's your thing, then by all means enjoy it, but I'd rather not. To be honest I'm not even sure I want any kids of my own, if that sheds any light on my perspective.

Biolink

11-10-2007, 06:21 PM

And at least you know shes fuckin.

:rofl:

So do you guys want pics or what? lol

Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah

Daigo Jr

11-10-2007, 06:48 PM

NO PROBLEM WITH IT AT AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL

if they get on your nerves, simply beat their ass in a game of street fighter(game of your choice)

simple

jabhadouken

11-10-2007, 07:02 PM

To quote Andy Warhol:

"Um, no."

randomlama

11-10-2007, 07:10 PM

I actually just broke up with a person who had two kids at a young age, the kids were very young, and it went on for a while. I was with her for about a year.

Now this is the truth of the matter, it's all about priorities and communication. We both had very different priorities and they conflicted. And while we did communicate, we didn't do it enough. Now don't get me wrong, I loved her and her kids, but there were other problems, and being a dad, and trust me you become one whether you like it or not, was something I wasn't really ready for.

My sister got married in 04 and she has a kid with her first husband. Her new husband, loves my nephew with all his heart and it is an awesome family to be around.

So, the conclusion is that it all depends on the person and you. It's really subjective. People think that the answer is permanent, but trust me, it ain't. And if it is for them, then they are looking for ass, not to date someone. It is difficult, but it can be wonderful.