How to make a graduation speech

[MagnetiX]

Yo, yo. So yeah, I've been fairly busy as of lately because graduation is coming up and I've been given the task of making the welcome speech for our graduation...this shit is due in two fucking hours, lol. It's like 4 AM right now and I still don't know what to put. My Principal says it has to be about 2 minutes...so yeah, fuck.
Anyone got any ideas? I need a way to open this shit, seriously.

This is the first batch of graduates from this school, so I have to make this sound good.

Hook me up!

[Oroman]

Holy shit! The best thing I can tell you is to try to remember the memorable moments that happened in your class and stall for time for as long as possible. How the hell did you end up in this situation?

[iwst99]

Yo, yo. So yeah, I've been fairly busy as of lately because graduation is coming up and I've been given the task of making the welcome speech for our graduation...this shit is due in two fucking hours, lol. It's like 4 AM right now and I still don't know what to put. My Principal says it has to be about 2 minutes...so yeah, fuck.
Anyone got any ideas? I need a way to open this shit, seriously.

This is the first batch of graduates from this school, so I have to make this sound good.

Hook me up!

Just tell them that story about you showing your dick in class. It should take about 1 minute, and then you need another minute for silence and weird stares. :confused::confused::confused:

[tajiri]

"I don't need this stupid speech! You think you're smart huh? Think you can come up here and take a piece of this? Huh? Any of you? You? You? Listen, (insert school name) I'm a billionaire. And most of you are gonna graduate, and move back in with your parents! I'm gonna tell you somethin', though. We have something in common: we're all gonna die. No matter whatcha' do, no matter whatcha' do with your lives, you're dead! You're dead! You're dying. You're gonna die, all of you, dead. You, dead. You, dead, all of you. You, lady? Your tits will be eaten by maggots, in just a few short years. So here's my message, my message to you, a very simple message: Go forth. Go forth, and DIIIIIE!"

:/

[iwst99]

"I don't need this stupid speech! You think you're smart huh? Think you can come up here and take a piece of this? Huh? Any of you? You? You? Listen, (insert school name) I'm a billionaire. And most of you are gonna graduate, and move back in with your parents! I'm gonna tell you somethin', though. We have something in common: we're all gonna die. No matter whatcha' do, no matter whatcha' do with your lives, you're dead! You're dead! You're dying. You're gonna die, all of you, dead. You, dead. You, dead, all of you. You, lady? Your tits will be eaten by maggots, in just a few short years. So here's my message, my message to you, a very simple message: Go forth. Go forth, and DIIIIIE!"

:/
\Nathan Explosion

[tajiri]

\Nathan Explosion

that's why it was in quotes.

:/

[iwst99]

that's why it was in quotes.

:/

Sometime's it's cool to say who you're quoting.

:\

[tajiri]

Sometime's it's cool to say who you're quoting.

:\

dually noted<3

[DropOff]

Make a reference to back to the future.

That's really my only advice on this.

Even if it's just "Great Scott!"

[MagnetiX]

Holy shit! The best thing I can tell you is to try to remember the memorable moments that happened in your class and stall for time for as long as possible. How the hell did you end up in this situation?

lol, it's cuz I'm the salutatorian of my school...
did I even spell that correctly? lol.

salutatorian

noun
a graduating student with the second highest academic rank; may deliver the opening address at graduation exercises




Should I put the word "Destiny" in my speech? Like, "Once we leave these halls, we are on our own and we are the only ones who can create our own destiny" or some corny shit like that?
Seriously, I need something to do for 2 minutes on that stage.
I'm not scared or anything about doing the speech...I've already done speeches in front of an entire mall, I'm just scared that this shit will sound like ass and it's the first graduating class, so yeah...

[scentless]

Watch Braveheart and copy Mel Gibson's speech.....

[AcEtUrNeDjOkEr]

Graduation speech....got a perfect one.

"Attention Faculty, Staff and Students; Thank you for coming to "whatever", I have been given the task to give the opening speech....I am not going to make this long" Stand and look around for about 5 secs.....then sit down

Done.

[Oroman]

lol, it's cuz I'm the salutatorian of my school...
did I even spell that correctly? lol.

salutatorian

noun
a graduating student with the second highest academic rank; may deliver the opening address at graduation exercises




Should I put the word "Destiny" in my speech? Like, "Once we leave these halls, we are on our own and we are the only ones who can create our own destiny" or some corny shit like that?
Seriously, I need something to do for 2 minutes on that stage.
I'm not scared or anything about doing the speech...I've already done speeches in front of an entire mall, I'm just scared that this shit will sound like ass and it's the first graduating class, so yeah...

Yea just put some corny shit in there. It doesn't matter as long as you get it done and put in a SF quote for us.

[VruS]

colonel guile's speech

[AzN_Skater]

colonel guile's speech
Kick that son of a bitch bison's ass so hord...

[TheSix]

/Independence day speech

[Monte]

Graduation speech....got a perfect one.

"Attention Faculty, Staff and Students; Thank you for coming to "whatever", I have been given the task to give the opening speech....I am not going to make this long" Stand and look around for about 5 secs.....then sit down

Done.

that's a good one but instead of "I am not going to make this long" I'd replace it with, "I've always been a man of few words... thank you."

[Jaldaboath]

Have some friend stand up as soon as you get on the podium, point at you and yell:

"Die Monster. You don't belong to this world."

You can probably figure out the rest yourself. Be sure to have a glass on your hand.

[mvsc2demon]

Graduation speech....got a perfect one.

"Attention Faculty, Staff and Students; Thank you for coming to "whatever", I have been given the task to give the opening speech....I am not going to make this long" Stand and look around for about 5 secs.....then sit down

Done.

After 5 seconds dont sit down. Rick Roll them, proceed to this.

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what's I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you......

[RockBogart]

Yo, yo. So yeah, I've been fairly busy as of lately because graduation is coming up and I've been given the task of making the welcome speech for our graduation...this shit is due in two fucking hours, lol. It's like 4 AM right now and I still don't know what to put. My Principal says it has to be about 2 minutes...so yeah, fuck.
Anyone got any ideas? I need a way to open this shit, seriously.

This is the first batch of graduates from this school, so I have to make this sound good.

Hook me up!

You could do what my friend's ex girlfriend did to him in her speech and break up with your significant other on stage and date their friend. I will give details when I get back home.

[EvilRyuX]

You could do what my friend's ex girlfriend did to him in her speech and break up with your significant other on stage and date their friend. I will give details when I get back home.

I'm anticipating this story. I hope it's sorta long. :rofl:

[pherai]

If you give one of those faggy memorable moments speeches you suck. Every graduation speech is so hackneyed that people don't even care unless its wacky or in bad taste. Everybody is there just to cheer when their kids name comes up, so might as well make em laugh. I say, Nathan Explosion speech or the Guile speech.

[final_cut]

I dunno what you should say, but you should say it in character as Parker Lewis!

[epp1e]

My graduation speech was me naming every girl I wanted to bang.

[RockBogart]

I'm anticipating this story. I hope it's sorta long. :rofl:

Here we go kids....

My friend's girl was the valedictorian. He was the number one student athlete (4.0 GPA, notable football player), so he had to give a speech as well. His speech went first; short, sweet, and to the point. It was funny though, he used beans as a metaphor for life and shit and it somehow made sense. Now this bitch gets up to the podium. She starts off talking about some random shit. Later in her speech her speech pattern started to change and it took a completely different direction. She started talking about "leaving your friends behind and moving on" and "friends becoming more than friends". Now people who were friends with both of them, started thinking "wtf is she talking about". One classmate next to me said, "This bitch is talking about leaving Tim for Ian on stage". Ian is another guy sorta in the same circle of friends. We looked at our boy on the other side of the stage, and you could see as the speech went on, he was slowly getting his world recked. About 2 minutes into her speech we realized our friend was getting dumped on stage. He knew it and everyone associated with them knew it. About 20 people in the crowd were like :confused:. My friend is like :shake::mad:. A week after graduation, I see her at the mall with Ian.

[Oroman]

Here we go kids....

My friend's girl was the valedictorian. He was the number one student athlete (4.0 GPA, notable football player), so he had to give a speech as well. His speech went first; short, sweet, and to the point. It was funny though, he used beans as a metaphor for life and shit and it somehow made sense. Now this bitch gets up to the podium. She starts off talking about some random shit. Later in her speech her speech pattern started to change and it took a completely different direction. She started talking about "leaving your friends behind and moving on" and "friends becoming more than friends". Now people who friends with both of them, started thinking "wtf is she talking about". One classmate next to me said, "This bitch is talking about leaving Tim for Ian on stage". Ian is another guy sorta in the same circle of friends. We looked at our boy on the other side of the stage, and you could see as the speech went on, he was slowly getting his world recked. About 2 minutes into her speech we realized our friend was getting dumped on stage. He knew it and everyone associated with them knew it. About 20 people in the crowd were like :confused:. My friend is like :shake::mad:. A week after graduation, I see her at the mall with Ian.

That has to be the most fucked up thing I've heard all day today.

[OrangeCat]

Our valedvictorian was a complete and fucking sham. See apparently what happened is the faculty thought it would be a brilliant idea to have the student body vote for the person to give the speech. The guy who got voted in was a fucking slack jawed scrub who wasn't above average in anything other than being a good friend and every single person knew it was a fucking joke vote.

It was admirable that person managed to get through the speech though. It was hilarious because I'm pretty sure he was shitting his pants about talking in front of a group of people. He didn't make eye-contact with the audience at all, just looked down and read from his paper in a monotone voice with a pace that would make the SMB3 speedrun look like MOLASSES. In the end he did alright for having being thrust into the situation by a joke vote...he is a good guy but certainly not typical valedvictorian material. Funny thing is despite not being a traditionally picked person, he is probably most representative of all the future rig pigs that come out of there.

OC

[Alzarath]

Take off your pants.

Then you can talk about w/e.

[rush down]

At mine I said I was going to go to college to "learn the fine art of face painting". Afterwards I would "team up with Jet Jaguar" to save the earth. I pretty much got my principle to talk nonsense for like 2 minutes.

High school was a joke.

[elitericerocket]

I remember at my high school, so many of us had ridiculously high GPA's (we used a weighted scale) that anyone over a certain GPA could apply to give the speech, myself included. I didn't even bother with that shit. I can't even remember the speech, but I do know it was full of all sorts of BS metaphors...complete waste of time.

[MagnetiX]

lol, so this kinda adds a little spice into the graduation, but the mayor of the city is joining our graduation ceremony...lol :<
So yeah, this speech better be good, though.
I turned in the speech but I think my principal is changing hella bullshit on it cuz she didn't even give me back my USB drive that I gave her with the speech on it...she's probably gonna add a ton of shit about God or something ;/

[Spirit Juice]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yATI48dcsMU

Relevant. Honestly I think you should just sing this. In Japanese. With a projector screen behind you playing the video. Don't forget to scream and have your voice crack.

[Demon Dash]

So when's graduation?

[MagnetiX]

It's in three weeks. Shit's mad intense

[EvilRyuX]

Here we go kids....

My friend's girl was the valedictorian. He was the number one student athlete (4.0 GPA, notable football player), so he had to give a speech as well. His speech went first; short, sweet, and to the point. It was funny though, he used beans as a metaphor for life and shit and it somehow made sense. Now this bitch gets up to the podium. She starts off talking about some random shit. Later in her speech her speech pattern started to change and it took a completely different direction. She started talking about "leaving your friends behind and moving on" and "friends becoming more than friends". Now people who were friends with both of them, started thinking "wtf is she talking about". One classmate next to me said, "This bitch is talking about leaving Tim for Ian on stage". Ian is another guy sorta in the same circle of friends. We looked at our boy on the other side of the stage, and you could see as the speech went on, he was slowly getting his world recked. About 2 minutes into her speech we realized our friend was getting dumped on stage. He knew it and everyone associated with them knew it. About 20 people in the crowd were like :confused:. My friend is like :shake::mad:. A week after graduation, I see her at the mall with Ian.

That has to be the most fucked up thing I've heard all day today.

I agree with Oroman, that shit is cold. :sad:

[Lucretz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yATI48dcsMU

Relevant. Honestly I think you should just sing this. In Japanese. With a projector screen behind you playing the video. Don't forget to scream and have your voice crack.

How did I know that link was going to be to fucking Okkusenman?
:rofl: