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View Full Version : So-called "Penis snatchers" arrested in Congo


Alzarath
04-25-2008, 08:16 AM
Uhh... ok... (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080423/od_nm/witchcraft_dc_1;_ylt=ApkDPfKPFjs.Uwal3VFG5AIE1vAI)

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

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Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.


Yeah, I got nothin.

beatsofdevil
04-25-2008, 08:18 AM
hmm, I'm thinkin' one of dem der penis snatchers touched me when I was little...curse their dark souls!

angryliberal
04-25-2008, 08:19 AM
Yeah, I got nothin.

revealing, but at least you don't have to worry about penis snatchers...

Starhammer
04-25-2008, 08:21 AM
taking crank yanking to a whole new level.

-Starhammer-

axeman61
04-25-2008, 08:21 AM
How come Black Magic wielding bastards can never make gaping pussies smaller/tighter?

Everytime I hear about witchcraft/voodoo/Black Magic with genitals, it's always something bad with the guys.

beatsofdevil
04-25-2008, 08:23 AM
where are the penis givers :'(

Boleslaw
04-25-2008, 10:47 AM
Prestige Class : Penis Sorceror
Hit Die Type: d4

Requirements:
4 ranks of Innuendo
10 Ranks of Penis Snatching
Ability to cast Level 3 Arcane Spells

Special : Must undergo a Voodoo rite involving at least 12 other Penis Snatchers presided over with at least one Penis Sorceror

Spells: every other level of Penis Snatcher adds 1 level of spells from your existing Spellcasting Class

Special Abilites :

Penis Illusion : At first level the Penis Sorceror gains the ability to make a male of any humanoid species believe that his penis has become impotent or has shrunk. To do so you must make a touch attack on an exposed penis. The victim is allowed a Will Save (dc 20) in order to resist the effects. This effect lasts unless cancelled with a Heal Spell (any spells that cure physical diseases do not work as there is nothing actually physically wrong with the penis)

Got the jump on you son: At fifth level a penis sorceror can negate any uncanny dodge bonuses a victim has when attempting to defend against a touch attack to his exposed penis

Penile Obliteration : at Tenth level the penis sorceror has undergone enough arcane penile training that he can now physically affect both the size and potence of another's penis. The victim is allowed a fortitude save (dc 20+ caster level) to resist the effect. If the save is failed the Penis sorceror can use any of the effects from the following spells.

Polymorph other
Shrink
Grow
Cat's Grace
Color Spray (lol)
Disintegrate

DaDesiCanadian
04-25-2008, 10:54 AM
SRK without Bole just wasn't SRK!

fishjie
04-25-2008, 11:56 AM
Prestige Class : Penis Sorceror
Hit Die Type: d4

Requirements:
4 ranks of Innuendo
10 Ranks of Penis Snatching
Ability to cast Level 3 Arcane Spells

Special : Must undergo a Voodoo rite involving at least 12 other Penis Snatchers presided over with at least one Penis Sorceror

Spells: every other level of Penis Snatcher adds 1 level of spells from your existing Spellcasting Class

Special Abilites :

Penis Illusion : At first level the Penis Sorceror gains the ability to make a male of any humanoid species believe that his penis has become impotent or has shrunk. To do so you must make a touch attack on an exposed penis. The victim is allowed a Will Save (dc 20) in order to resist the effects. This effect lasts unless cancelled with a Heal Spell (any spells that cure physical diseases do not work as there is nothing actually physically wrong with the penis)

Got the jump on you son: At fifth level a penis sorceror can negate any uncanny dodge bonuses a victim has when attempting to defend against a touch attack to his exposed penis

Penile Obliteration : at Tenth level the penis sorceror has undergone enough arcane penile training that he can now physically affect both the size and potence of another's penis. The victim is allowed a fortitude save (dc 20+ caster level) to resist the effect. If the save is failed the Penis sorceror can use any of the effects from the following spells.

Polymorph other
Shrink
Grow
Cat's Grace
Color Spray (lol)
Disintegrate

D&D 4.0 is coming out so all this 3.5 noise will be obsolete anyway.

Weeks
04-25-2008, 12:00 PM
native africans :shake:

FallingEdge
04-25-2008, 12:01 PM
It's like that Futurama episode but real.

Pablo_the_Mex
04-25-2008, 12:02 PM
Africa is fucking hilarious.

Grog
04-25-2008, 12:10 PM
This could be a huge market for Enzyte

Bob Sagat
04-25-2008, 12:16 PM
revealing, but at least you don't have to worry about penis snatchers...

:rofl:

where are the penis givers :'(

No homo?

valaris
04-25-2008, 01:04 PM
No homo?

No need for a no homo when he's homo.

SIMPLY_HUGO
04-25-2008, 01:06 PM
My penis is soo small she would either look at me and it would dissapear..or she would try to sell me the cure thinking she already snatched my penis

SRKev
04-25-2008, 01:07 PM
Color Spray (lol)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Warpticon
04-25-2008, 01:08 PM
What about the snatch penisers?

Oroman
04-25-2008, 01:17 PM
Ahhh I see this give a whole new meaning to...... black magic.

*Gets boo'd off the stage*