Was I wrong for doing this?

[fredelza]

hi, normally i wouldn't do this since it is a bit personal. but i feel i had to let this out so where i would get a clear unbiased opinion, though i may be over reacting.

a small thing first im mexican/ black. my mother is mexican, and its probably normal for family and friends who's daughter is having a sweet 15 or 16 party or some other shit to ask their family or friends to cook the whole meal for about 100 plus in a small ballroom of some sorts. my mother has been doing this for years since she says thats what family and friends do to each other and you cant really deny it. my father calls them all blood clots every time they ask my mother which is on a regular basis really( must be the rice)haha. so anyway i have never minded much at all since my mother has been paid for it and generally my aunties or her friends come over and she has fun and stuff as well as help her.

this specific time i got angry. she had to do it solo this time, which takes a while since he had to cook pork over night and what not. so as i come home from work last night(which was the party) i was there early before they came to pick up the food and all, so my mother got dressed and got prepared to leave with the. finally after being late the birth day girls father and some of my uncles arrive.
They start to take the trays of food over to the suv where everyone is, as the finish and are about to leave my mother gets paid a small amount of money( around 80 which to me is not enough for that much time plus she had to buy extra items since they did not provide enough) but whateever my mom didnt mind. she says shes gonna come home late, i tell her to not worry and have fun and what not.

as i close the door from the apartment i hear something that got me so angry.

" hey thank you for the food maria but theres no room for you in the car, you should call a taxi see you there"

i just barely heard it and got angry i open the door and go out to the hall. i told him thats funny that hes a joker, now in all seriousness drive her there she did all this shit for you and your not gonna take her to the party?
my mother said it was fine that it was nothing.
i just couldnt stand it since none of my uncles were up there in the hall and it was just the 3 of us i went to tell them and they got pissed but said they couldnt do anything since they were already drinking.
what?

so i punched the guy in the face and told him to drive my mother and bring here back safely or else ill tell her wife( who is one of my mothers godsister which is pretty big) about this. he didnt hesitate, i also cracked one of his windows


and now here i am getting these phone calls from some family that i took it too far and that i should have talked it out. my aunties,uncles and a bunch of others are just really angry. the wife apparently has no idea.

sorry for the very long response but i did not expect the response i would get from family telling ME i was wrong.
thank you for the answers ahea.

[regulate]

Yeah, you over reacted, and it seems like you have some sort of remorse.

[Luciano Leone]

You fucked up hardcore man. Seriously use common sense.. You don't punch a guy in the face and crack one of his windows, then trust him with your mother's life, dipshit.

[Riot Guard]

You could have done a wikipedia submission for as long as this is.

[Ghostal]

Sounds like the guy did deserve a rap in the face, but cracking his window is way too far. A black eye or split lip will heal with some painkillers, icepacks and time, and he'll have that bit of pride he'll never get back. Replacing a window is upwards of $250 in my experience. Making him chew on one usually gets him to wise up, but the window can really push him over the edge, and then you got your mom to ride in the car with him.

You gotta either choose between messing up his car or getting him to drive her.
Doing both makes YOU look like somewhat of a douche from the outside looking in, even after the story gets explained.

So while he was a jerk it sounds like, but I can understand your family calling you and telling you you took it too far.

[TheSix]

I can understand you hitting the guy (deservedly so).

But that's also like yelling at the waitress who brings your food. In the end, you won't win.

[ckrazy]

You did the right thing getting mad and being vocal, however you did the wrong dude by hitting him and cracking the windows. I would say it 30/70 here 70 bad 30 good. It great that you weren't passive and let stupid shit slide. People to often let shit slide because they don't want confrontation. However you have to learn to keep your nigga moments in check.

[OneInchPunch]

I can't say if you were right, but you should expect shit from people. I'm not sure how your mom got roped into doing so much work for so little money. It's possible that she consented to all of this or she could've been bullied into it. What you've said isn't enough for me to decide if that portion of the story is fucked up. As for what the father or one of your uncles said, I can't blame you for what you said. If you're family, you should be looking out for one another. Even if somebody had to drive back to pick your mom up, somebody should have.

So were you wrong? I'm not sure. I'd be pissed off as well. I don't know if I would've punched the guy or broken his window. It may have been an overreaction on your part but I haven't faced a situation like this to know how exactly I would've reacted. But you can't expect nobody to start shit if you punch people in the face and break their windows. Even if people deserve it, nobody likes to get hit or their stuff broken. You're supposed to be family but family members can sometimes be the biggest dicks. You defended your mom's honor which is very admirable, but you gotta take what comes from it.

edit: VVV I like Half-Ro's thinking.

[Half-Ro]

You don't punch a guy in the face and crack one of his windows, then trust him with your mother's life.

^^

I agree with this. But, it seemed like the guy put you in a nigga moment. The most sensible thing to do imo, would have been to start unloading the food. When you fam asked what you were doing, you could have been like "Theres no room for my mom, ya'll find your food on your own, fucks."

[BrentoBox]

Sorry to say, you did take it too far. It was very disrespectful of the men to ask you mother take a taxi while they all rode there together. But punching him and cracking the window didn't solve that problem.

[El Maniatico]

you fucked up, apologize asap. your mom knew it was for a girls bday party and was looking out for the girl in this case, and you blew your cool. i understand if the mofo was racist or whatnot, but in this case you overstepped the line man.

your mom sounds very humble and understanding but if the dads focused on the girl instead of your mom you cant really blame him. but I wasnt there so maybe the situation was different. all i know is fighting about some rice and chuletas is fuckin silly bro.

[Wantonx]

Everything you did was exactly how I would have handled it too. They disrespected your mother while you're around and got what they needed for it. I jacked one of my boys right in the fucking mouth for doing something similar to my wife. Never have apologized and told him the same thing would happen if he did it again. we're still cool to this day. If you're right, you're right.

[fredelza]

thanks for the replys you guys appreciate it.
i know i did over react after thinking it but the getting really in the moment of the amount my mom did by her self and get no real thanks or appreciation just got me bad you know.
some more family calls from my cousins around my age gave me the same response as well.

they have told me that last night the father( the driver i punched) treated her right and didnt make her serve the food.( sorry i didnt put this out, whenever you cook for a party you are usually expected to serve to food to ALL the people at the party, again by herself, another reason for the attitude last nigh) so she actually did have fun dancing with my uncles and cousins and was.

the thing about the car incident, i didnt really make a big crack just a small one one the side doors, i know inexcusable but i might have exaggerated it.

also one of my uncles in the car was on my dads side but he basically stepped off but told me she would be alright.

thanks for the answers guys it helps.

btw everyone in the party is mexican. save for some cousins and that uncle i mentioned. just in case there is confusion

[DaDesiCanadian]

I don't get it, why would we be confused about Mexicans?

[Seijuro-HIko]

You were in the wrong. You should of broke 5 of his fingers instead of his window. Or atleast one of his legs..

[The Epidemic]

damn son, i dunno know if i woulda jawwed the dude. I mean, its not like he verbally/physically disrespected her. You definetly overreacted (dude was wrong but you definetly didnt have to jaw him :lol:)...was he gonna atleast give her cab fair?

[orochizoolander]

damn son, i dunno know if i woulda jawwed the dude. I mean, its not like he verbally disrespected her...was he gonna atleast give her cab fair?

Actually that's exactly what happened, she does al lthis work for so little money and it's an extra kick in the balls (or ovary in this case) that they asked her to take a cab, and judging by the way the OP said it they weren't going to pay for cab fair:tdown:

It sounds like your mom is overly nice and people take advantage of that and that pisses you off as it rightfully should but next time don't be so impulsive and think before you do something stupid. Sure it was wrong to crack the dude in the face n his window but it was even more wrong to get in the car n have the guy u just punched drive you n your mom:rofl:

Talk to the family tell them you felt pissed off that they used your mom like that and you should probably offer to pay for the window. BTW what does the rest of your family think about what you did especially your mom?

[fishjie]

nah you did the right thing

i dunno about getting physical because you could get charged with assault and etc

you should have just intimidated the dude until he peed his pants

[Rob2_0]

you did, but its good you feel remorse, shows u a good person

[OrangeCat]

Overreacted. Instead of being such a hot headed shitbird, you should have been a bit smarter and said exactly the same thing...but tell them to pay for the fucking taxi ride over there. Same message, less stupidity. However heat of the moment you can't think straight...just keep in it mind for next time.

OC

[Rod Driguez]

I can appreciate you being angry at your mom being disrespected. I would feel less than a man if I did not at least say something if I had overheard that.


But putting your hands on somebody in their house + damaging property was a bit much. True enough it was disrespect, but like somebody said he didn't curse her out or slap her. Lesson learned.

[gunners]

What you did was stupid. I would be tempted to smack the guy as I would see it as a disrespect and what not, but you don't beat someone into giving your mum a lift.

This analogy sums it all up.


But that's also like yelling at the waitress who brings your food. In the end, you won't win.

[BBQ]

I could understand the emotions you were going through, and I too would of done the same thing if I was 16 again as I had an extremely short temper. But you should of punched something else like your bed and cool off before confronting the relative. It sucks for you though as no matter how much you apologize and everyone forgives, no one will really forget. This is speaking on my own experiences as I've flipped out on my relatives when I was young and even to do this day I personally feel like the event that happened will never go away and will be buried with me to my death bed.

[JustB]

As far as I can tell, you were only wrong for having the same guy drive your mom around.

[Sacr3D]

What you did was dumb.

[Team Cable]

When I first started reading this I thought you were gonna tell us you boned a girl at her quinceanera or something.

Sure it would be wrong, but if she's hot, what can you do.

As for what actually took place you overstepped your bounds, but that was seriously fucked up. I'm Mexican as well and I know how the cooking goes, but that was straight disrespectful what happened.

[Dhalsimowns]

You were completely right. If somedumbass family members of mine I had just spent time cooking a shitload of food for by myself to feed their party did'nt let me in the cab...oh shit...

The thought one of them would actually suggest your mom take a cab, after everything she did, thats classless and ignorant shit on their part. Fuck if one of my uncles told my mom to take a cab after that...ohh, I would rip him out of the car and drive her myself and leave him ass there.

[AkumaTX]

first of all your mom is stupid for giving into those work hours and pay, and for letting herself be take advantage of. Talk about bad business.

Second you are even more stupid for putting a hand on your mother's client. IF your mom said its ok, let it go, you should have done just that. Not only did you damage the guys property, and physically assulted him.

[fP_tHuG]

Just guilt tripping the guy would've been enough dude, the jab was an excess in ur part. If he said no to not giving a ride to your mom, then 100% yes in punching him in the face.

[drobizh]

All the time I was reading that I was thinking to myself: Punch the cocksuckers in the face. And then he wrote: So i snuffed him. :pray::china:

No it wasn't right. You were wrong. But damn I would have done the same thing.

[Bounce]

went to far with the cracked car window, I would have stopped at the guys face. It's pretty disrespectful to leave the cook (worse family) because 'there's no room'....Make room, or have someone else take the taxi.

Edit: don't matter if it was family or a favor, that's not something to be tolerated.

[Fulaani]

what does you being half mexican half black have to do with all this?

[RushedDown]

are they always being douchebags?

if so then he deserved a punch in the mouth
u shouldnt have hit the car tho

if this was an isolated incident then nah u shoulda just told him what was up

telling my uncles whats up usually is enough for them to get the message

[The Mullah]

you aren't a bloody animal, so no need to act like one.

There's a time and a place for violence and that wasn't it. Your mum sounds like a nice woman, so she must have been mortified by your behaviour. I can only imagine the shame she must have felt having everyone know her son is such a thug. You think she enjoyed the party after what you did? Imagine her discomfort seeing people whisper as the story spread around the party that night.

[Gimpy]

The funny thing is that what he did is normal compared to what some people I know would have done. And I've been in this situation before where someone was disrespecting my mom when she was just trying to help them out. The only thing that stopped me from hitting dude was the he was close to 50 and he was from Southeastern part of Washington, D.C.. But to the poster of this thread, if you felt you did the right thing then don't sweat it. I bet dude will think the next time he wants to disrespect someone.