The SRK Movie Fanatic Thread (REVIEWS, QUESTIONS, RANTS, STARS...ETC.) EVERYTHING!!!

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  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    Everybody's doing their end-of-year ish, so here are the new releases I saw this year and how I rank them.


    TOP TIER

    Moonrise Kingdom
    Looper
    Lincoln


    UPPER-MID TIER

    Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
    The Amazing Spider-Man
    Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Part 1)
    Skyfall


    MID TIER

    John Carter
    Prometheus


    LOWER-MID TIER

    Magic Mike


    BOTTOM TIER

    Cabin in the Woods


    SPECIAL CONSIDERATION TIER

    Louis CK: Live at the Beacon Theater
    RiffTrax Live - Manos: The Hands of Fate
  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    Best - The Avengers
    Best Sci-fi - Cloud Atlas
    Best 3D - The Hobbit
    Worst - Resident Evil: Retribution
    Best Comedy - 21 Jump Street
    Biggest Disappointment - John Carter
    WTF Did I Just Watch? - Ted

    I dont know a single person IRL who hasnt seen The Avengers multiple times. Even my mom at 50 has seen the shit 4 times.

    do i need to watch captain america, iron man 1/2, hulk, etc to understand the avengers? why i never watched it since i would be jumping in the middle of a series of movies

  • PterodactylPterodactyl The time has come and so have I Joined: Posts: 7,200
    Everybody's doing their end-of-year ish, so here are the new releases I saw this year and how I rank them.


    TOP TIER

    Moonrise Kingdom
    Looper
    Lincoln


    UPPER-MID TIER

    Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
    The Amazing Spider-Man
    Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Part 1)
    Skyfall


    MID TIER

    John Carter
    Prometheus


    LOWER-MID TIER

    Magic Mike


    BOTTOM TIER

    Cabin in the Woods


    SPECIAL CONSIDERATION TIER

    Louis CK: Live at the Beacon Theater
    RiffTrax Live - Manos: The Hands of Fate


    why'd you put Cabin so low?


    I could have sword Cabin was made in 2011, didn't seem that recent.
    spread'em
  • KillaFoxKillaFox I wish a nigga would on every candle. Joined: Posts: 2,197
    do i need to watch captain america, iron man 1/2, hulk, etc to understand the avengers? why i never watched it since i would be jumping in the middle of a series of movies
    No you dont need to, but if you want to know a little bit more of the story then I would watch them if I were you.
  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    do i need to watch captain america, iron man 1/2, hulk, etc to understand the avengers? why i never watched it since i would be jumping in the middle of a series of movies

    ^ not really

    but you probably wanna watch ironman1 because its a great movie.
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • KneelB4MeKneelB4Me CVS2! Joined: Posts: 810
    What the hell

    Top tier - Life Of Pi, The Master, The Intouchables, Django Unchained, End of Watch
    Upper mid - Dark Knight, Prometheus, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Killer Joe
    Mid tier - Flight, Skyfall, Looper, Safe House, The Possession
    Lower mid - Dark Shadows, Sinister, The Collection, VHS, Berberien Sound Studio

    I liked all the above movies a lot, even the lower mids, but the rest are ranked higher for a reason.

    Special mention for Spiderman and The Avengers, just not my type of movie anymore which is why they don't make the list or get named below. I could sit through Captain America and Green Lantern but not the above 2. Even I know that is weird.

    Low tier films that really fucked up - Grave Encounters 2, Lovely Mollie, Cabin in the Woods, Chernobyl Diaries, Apartment 143

    I'm a big horror fan and I'm often left disappointed by horror films. Sinister and VHS both fucked up for me too, but they nailed some good tension for me in places. Especially Sinister, they really dropped the ball with "the bad guy". That film was genuinely freaking me out for the first hour.

    All in all, a good year for movies in my opinion. Glad the slump from a few years back is finally well and truly out of the way.
    I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them.
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  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    ^ bad taste

    the watch is top tier lol o_O:wtf: was watchable but dunno about top tier........

    co-sign spiderman tho. shit was mostly ass. but liked the 3d gimmicks and good cgi.
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • PterodactylPterodactyl The time has come and so have I Joined: Posts: 7,200
    Just saw Antwone Fisher, I've seen it in parts a long time ago but I never got the full experience or story until now.

    Such a great movie, it's definitely one of my favorites.



    Million Dollar Baby is next, been holding off on it for a while now.

    Sucks that I already know the ending because of how famous it is.
    spread'em
  • KneelB4MeKneelB4Me CVS2! Joined: Posts: 810
    ^ bad taste

    the watch is top tier lol o_O:wtf: was watchable but dunno about top tier........

    co-sign spiderman tho. shit was mostly ass. but liked the 3d gimmicks and good cgi.

    Oh shit, I meant End of Watch, not The Watch! The Watch sucked, I was let down...
    I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them.
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  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    oh ok :rofl:
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    why'd you put Cabin so low?


    I could have sword Cabin was made in 2011, didn't seem that recent.
    I saw it theatrically in April.

    And we had a pretty big row in the movie thread when I came in here and shit on it. Angry Liberal even stopped fucking his sister for a minute to tell me I was wrong.

    EDIT:

    The Cabin business starts on this page.
  • Las Vegas PimpLas Vegas Pimp XBL: Da Big Punisher Joined: Posts: 3,568
    Looper, so many plotholes.
    Still have that SRK OG mentality.
  • toddler316toddler316 Drunk Shit Hustler Joined: Posts: 8,083 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Looper, so many plotholes.
    Time travel and plot holes?
    I cannot believe this. :eek:

    Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2
    Russell Crowe: This is Tianamen Square. Lots of good fightin' has gone on here throughout the years.These China men can grow to over five feet tall, and in a fight, are known to kick with their legs.

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  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    looper = what heroes was doing for like 3 years

    my reaction was "meh". time traveling was also cool in terminator movies.
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    The only thing Heroes is similar to in any meaningful sense is a big stinky bag of shit.
  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    A New Year's wish, or, if you prefer, a New Year's Resolution that I confer upon others:

    I wish that everybody, from armchair film critics such as ourselves all the way up to the longtime professionals, would stop relying on adjectives like "interesting," "boring," "uninvolving" (or the long version, "does nothing for me"), "flawed" (or the long version, "good but not a masterpiece"), etc.

    If people are going to avoid saying anything substantive about their opinion, they might as well get down to brass tacks and just say "This movie was good" or "This movie was bad." They're not any less intellectual than all those others, and unlike the others, these ones wear their unintellectualism on their sleeves. They aren't pretentious.

    Guh. Sorry, folks. Just venting about something that's rapidly becoming a pet peeve, and not directed at anyone specific. Like I said, even some of the professionals lapse into this crap at times.
  • PterodactylPterodactyl The time has come and so have I Joined: Posts: 7,200
    So it's wrong for me to call I movie that I think is boring, boring?
    spread'em
  • Shaft AgentShaft Agent https://discord.gg/F4ZmxDu Joined: Posts: 9,272 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    goodm0urning is finally saying what i've been saying. if you can't explain why you like/dislike something without using buzzwords/phrases, your opinion is invalid.

    anyway, i'm starting the new year off right. suck it, shitheads. Almighty Thor.

    v421z.jpg

    yep, Thor's got an Uzi. also Richard Motherfucking Greico is in that bitch. fuck all of your years. >:(
    Forget trying to pass for normal. Follow your geekdom. Embrace nerditude. In the immortal words of Lafcadio Hearn, a geek of incredible obscurity whose work is still in print after a hundred years, “Woo the muse of the odd.” You may be a geek. You may have geek written all over you. You should aim to be one geek they’ll never forget. Don’t aim to be civilized. Don’t hope that straight people will keep you on as some sort of pet. To hell with them. You should fully realize what society has made of you and take a terrible revenge. Get weird. Get way weird. Get dangerously weird. Get sophisticatedly, thoroughly weird, and don’t do it halfway. Put every ounce of horsepower you have behind it. Don’t become a well-rounded person. Well-rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a pufferfish. -Bruce Sterling
  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    So it's wrong for me to call I movie that I think is boring, boring?
    Just know that as a statement, it contains exactly as much substantive content as this:

  • KneelB4MeKneelB4Me CVS2! Joined: Posts: 810
    My first movie of 2013 was "Right at your door". http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458367/

    I cant praise the movie, but it definitely does not suck. Its right in the middle in my opinion, I think its a touch overrated on IMDB. One of those films you can watch when there isn't much else.

    A better alternative to this is probably "The Divide". http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1535616/
    I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them.
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  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    had a "uncomfortable" movie marathon last night. watched shame and a serbian film :eek:
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • RockBogartRockBogart Donkologist, Ph.D Joined: Posts: 37,502 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Shame doesn't get dark until the gay bar scene :rofl:
  • PterodactylPterodactyl The time has come and so have I Joined: Posts: 7,200
    Just know that as a statement, it contains exactly as much substantive content as this:


    I doubt most movie reviews are substantive with or without that list of words you made.

    It's not impossible for a film to be uninteresting and a drag, or boring as I like to put it, and if I see a boring film and some one asks me how I feel about it I don't see whats so wrong and uninformative about me saying that it's boring.

    Then i'll tell them why I thought it was boring.
    spread'em
  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    Then i'll tell them why I thought it was boring.
    See, that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is people who say it's boring as though it were the "why" part of the statement.
  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    on demand video prices getting ridiculous

    $12.99 for john dies at the end in SD?

  • SNAAAAKESNAAAAKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? Joined: Posts: 13,098 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    why pay:wtf:
    you must defeat my Shen Long to receive the reward

  • ViciousSLASHViciousSLASH Game Time Jones Joined: Posts: 7,509
    I guess I should be putting my reviews in this thread instead of the lounge? Nah, Lounge reviews forever.

    I will play too, I see all sorts of movies!

    Top Tier

    Looper
    21 Jump Street
    Brave
    Moonrise Kingdom
    Avengers
    Cabin in the Woods
    Argo
    Skyfall

    Upper Mid Tier

    Amazing Spider Man
    Pitch Perfect
    Rec 3: Genesis (way better than Rec 2)
    Magic Mike
    Silver Linings Playbook
    This is 40

    Mid Tier

    Snow White and the Huntsmen
    Wreck it Ralph
    Django Unchained

    Lower Mid

    The Hunger Games
    5 Year Engagement
    Prometheus
    Dark Knight Rises
    Chronicle

    I gotta catch up on all these Oscar bait movies. Lincoln and the Master are both probably baller but you can't just casually watch those super serious 3 hour marathons of history and character acting. Same with Le Mis, a two hour and 30 minute super sad musical? At least I get to see Anne Hathaway super sad.
    http://michaelpfeffer.blogspot.com I don't even update this, who cares
  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    because people work hard and spend money to create things and should be compensated for their work?

  • Sheng-LongSheng-Long Joined: Posts: 1,419
    on demand video prices getting ridiculous


    $12.99 for john dies at the end in SD?

    $9.99 from Itunes or Amazon Prime in HD.
    I gotta catch up on all these Oscar bait movies. Lincoln and the Master are both probably baller but you can't just casually watch those super serious 3 hour marathons of history and character acting. Same with Le Mis, a two hour and 30 minute super sad musical? At least I get to see Anne Hathaway super sad.

    Haven't seen Lincoln yet. I'll wait for the DVD. Master will probably be painfully boring for you to watch, lots of hilarious scenes, though some that will haunt you for a while. Les Mis was good, not as horrible as critics would like you to believe (seems to be the theme for 2012). All the songs were recorded live and they pull it off, especially Anne Hathaway, except for maybe Russell Crowe.
  • ViciousSLASHViciousSLASH Game Time Jones Joined: Posts: 7,509
    Crowe is supposed to be the worst, blonde haired girl who isn't girl from mean girls and young guy who is from whatever are supposed to be the best.

    I want to see Enchanted have sex with Johnny Cash and Capote cult leader his ears off with words. I wanna see the FDR movie too, I think that is still in theaters around here.
    http://michaelpfeffer.blogspot.com I don't even update this, who cares
  • Las Vegas PimpLas Vegas Pimp XBL: Da Big Punisher Joined: Posts: 3,568
    No love for The Artist anywhere?
    Still have that SRK OG mentality.
  • goodm0urninggoodm0urning AWKWARD... BITCH Joined: Posts: 14,235
    The Artist? Try backtracking in this thread about a year.
  • P. GorathP. Gorath @ButtonMashLA Joined: Posts: 6,772 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Rec 3: Genesis (way better than Rec 2)
    Oh helllllllll no, are you out of your mind? Rec 2 was god tier, Rec 3 was a good attempt at mixing it up, but it was pretty terrible.
  • P. GorathP. Gorath @ButtonMashLA Joined: Posts: 6,772 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Kinda sucked
    Twilight
    Ted
    Taken 2
    Looper
    Chronicle


    Kinda good
    The Hobbit
    21 Jump Street
    Argo
    Hit and Run
    Pitch Perfect


    Too conflicted to decide good or bad
    The Dark Knight
    Prometheus


    2012 Bottom 9
    9. Seven Psychopaths - Possibly a casualty of my high expectations, but even without I can see this sucking big time. Movies about movies/movie people are always difficult to pull off and this one turned out to be one of the worst. Not even Walken could save it.

    8. Savages - When was the last good Oliver Stone movie? Fifteen years ago? Twenty?

    7. The Hunger Games - I still don't understand how Collins hasn't been sued 20 ways to Tuesday by the Battle Royale people. What an unmitigated piece of shit. Obviously written by a woman because like Harry Potter, it gets the "games" aspect completely wrong, with rules and goals being changed every five minutes, rendering the proceedings meaningless. How this is popular I have no idea.

    6. Expendables 2 - Talk about a waste. Van Damme was completely wasted, Scott Adkins was completely wasted, all in favor of focusing on shitty has-beens Chuck Norris and Arnold. A boring catastrophe from start to finish. Undisputed 3 is twenty times the movie this crap is.

    5. Skyfall - I didn't think they could make a Bond as bad as QoS...and they didn't...but it was close. This is barely a Bond movie and even veers into incredibly corny MacGuyver territory. Where is the fun and excitement of Casino Royale? An utter slog of a movie. I still can't believe so many people were hoodwinked by this pile of feces.

    4. Snow White and the Huntsman - This movie fucking sucked. Worst direction of this list by far. Every music video director cliche is present here. Made me want to claw my eyes out.

    3. The Bourne Legacy - God this one sucked. I can't believe people praised the motorcycle scene at the end. Maybe because it was *the only* bit of action in the *entire movie* but face it, it was still lame. This movie could have been so many things, and instead it was terrible and didn't do the single thing it needed to do - introduce a compelling, interesting, bad-ass new character. Seriously, this was not a hard movie to make, and instead we go a completely mind-numbing wannabe high art bullshit.

    2. The Amazing Spider-man - 34 yr skater boi Spidey squares off against one of the goombas from the Mario Bros movie? Seriously? I guess the one good thing about this movie is that it gave me a newfound appreciation of Spider-man 3. That movie was a masterpiece compared to this piece of crap. And the maddening part is, the blueprint was right there with Ultimate Spider-man! It would have been simple to reboot this shit and give us an interesting new update! The road map was right freaking there! Awful direction, boring, lame, terrible. Not Wolverine or X3 bad though...

    And the worst movie of 2012...

    1. Silver Linings Playbook - Fuck this fucking movie. Oh look, it's the loveable cooky white person with mental problems movie. And of course, the mental problems aren't debilitating, they are fun and charming! And the Eagles have to win in order to get into the division(?!). Seriously no movie made me pull out my hair like this one. A complete paint-by-numbers sundance cookie cutter movie they should be ashamed of making. It's mind-boggling how terrible this movie is and how much of a pass it's gotten - oh wait, that actually makes perfect sense because movie critics are all mid-40s white men who identify with this retread bullshit. If this wins best picture I will blow my brains out.
  • girlystylegirlystyle Only plays Fugazi Joined: Posts: 1,804
    Did dudes here not like The Master?
    people only pay attention to me because of my vagina awesome penis
  • ViciousSLASHViciousSLASH Game Time Jones Joined: Posts: 7,509
    Rec 2 was awful. You have bad opinions PGabe. Shaky cam garbage cookie cutter version of the first one with whiny kids thrown in. 3 was a fun flipping of the whole shitty found footage trope. It was like a giant rock was lifted from my eyeballs when they went to an actual shot movie. Actually being able to see the infected made it a little more scary and it was funny as well. If that movie was shown in front of a crowd of horror movie fans I would think they would have got up and had a standing ovation when Koldo smashed the dudes camera.

    "WE'VE GOT TO FILM THIS!!"

    "No, no you don't , the best day of my life just got ruined and all of my family is dead. Fuck you and fuck your camera"

    Shaky cam ruined the Hunger Games too, that director had no idea what he was doing. The cornucopia bloodbath was supposed to be awesome and he completely ruined it by showing NONE OF THE ACTION BECAUSE THE CAMERA WAS SHAKING THE ENTIRE TIME. How does the camera shaking put me into the action? It completely takes me me out because I have no idea what is going on.

    Silver Linings Playbook isn't going to win best picture, you gotta calm your internet anger down. Lincoln or Argo will. You have bad angry movie opinions, do you want to get an ice cream and talk it out? SLP had lots of very funny parts, were you just fuming with anger the whole time while you were watching it to not laugh?

    Spider-Man 4 was also good, sure it's stupid they rebooted the franchise to exactly where it was but it's Hollywood and they are stupid and nothing makes sense. English guy was a way better Spider-Man in terms of how Spider-man'y he was, and Emma Stone shit all over kristen dunces first three awful performances. He is too handsome to be peter parker but that doesn't matter because it's a hollywood summer comic book movie, everyone is going to be too handsome/beautiful.

    I don't think anyone saw the Master, Girly. I wanted to but I just didn't get to the theater before it was gone.
    http://michaelpfeffer.blogspot.com I don't even update this, who cares
  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    VSlash coming harder than his fantasy baseball team did all year.

    With Spiderman 4 did they really have to do another origins story? I'm pretty sure everyone knows Spiderman's origin now so why not just jump in to already being Spiderman instead of remaking Spiderman 1.

    It is too bad Texas Chainsaw isn't coming out until Friday or it would be a runaway winner for movie of the year.

  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    best:
    1. moonrise kingdom
    2. the master
    3. cabin in the woods
    4. citadel
    5. sound of my voice
    6. the comedy
    7. room 237
    8. how to survive a plague
    9. holy motors
    10. bernie

    worst:

    1. last house on the street - though it had the hottest mom/daughter pairing in a movie in a while with Shue/Lawrence
    2. taken 2
    3. silver linings playbook - cliche fake indie trying to just win an award movie
    4. this is 40
    5. aftershock (rip eli roth)

    ???

  • ViciousSLASHViciousSLASH Game Time Jones Joined: Posts: 7,509
    They probably were just like "They won't even notice we did another origin story because people who like Spider-Man are stupid"

    Also he was a skateboarder? Whatever, I still liked it.
    http://michaelpfeffer.blogspot.com I don't even update this, who cares
  • Dirt Mc GirtDirt Mc Girt OLD DIRTY Joined: Posts: 1,089
    i think he was a professional skateboarder until he quit to focus on being spiderman / emo teenager at the same time

    though the one scene where that thing was falling and it did a 360 pan shot around him in 3d was pretty cool