A Litany of Hate: The Front Page Sucks

PerthoPertho Capt of Team #HellspawnJoined: Posts: 22,825 mod
When they first put the job postings for articles writers on SRK my eyes perked, my dick got a chubby and my mind both imploded and exploded. After the initial wave of giddiness and all the other things that come with imagining such a fantasyland, I read the qualifications for the job and realized that I did not necessarily qualify for such a position. Unfortunately it seems that the qualifications were severely overstated. Some of you may re-read that last sentence and ask “How were they overstated?” To put it nicely it seems that they put all the names in a hat, had someone masturbate over them, and wherever the massive genocide of potential abortions landed, a new life as an front page writer was born. Some may take offense at using abortions to make a point that the front page is bad. But it is worse than bad; it is on the level of dead baby jokes, most rape scenes in movies and Fox News reporting. I should edit that last sentence; dead baby jokes are at least funny.

I showed the front page to a Catholic priest. He immediately hit me upside the head with a crucifix, and then proceeded to baptize my monitor. He gave me a very stern look and told me: “I know you don’t believe in any sort of god, but those motherfuckers apparently don’t believe in any editing.” I don’t like agreeing with religious folk as it gives them a sense of righteous pride. But this man had seen through a big problem with the damn page: everybody wants do whatever the fuck they want. There appears to be no discernable direction to the front page. We have an article on the objectification of women, an editorial on players, another one on the viability of portable consoles for fighting games, another one on complaining, an article on balance, and lastly on stream monsters. Considering that these people are writing for a website which houses a forum for competitive players, the only question a sane person can ask themselves after reading all of these is: Are you fucking kidding me? These people were given bandwidth to do something productive, and all we get are articles best left for Kotaku. Had these people understood what was being asked of them from the beginning, they would’ve skipped all these idiotic topics and dealt with something that had to do with competition. But unfortunately we can’t have nice things in life since we keep getting assaulted by more moronic things like an article on controllers and one on memorizing combos.

But alas, this would be a rather huge waste of letters if editorial direction was the only thing wrong with the front page. This barrage of words is opinionated. Some things do not necessarily need to opinionated. Keits was both a blessing and a curse to the front page. He posted content but then he had a fucking smarmy opinion on anything and everything he posted about. Not everything needs a damn paragraph from any of you raving cocksuckers; much less do we need to know what your opinion is on Spider-man’s viability as a character when I’m watching a combo video. The combo video shows impractical things? That’s what they do. Any and all opinions concerning either matches or combo videos, you front page writers need to be nice enough to keep between your taints and your assholes. There are a lot of pieces of media of general interest to the community; a good 99% of them are not vehicles for any of your opinions.

Hilarity continues to ensue when it concerns the front page. This is mostly because the front page is treated less like the face of a community, and more like the news ticker of a cable news network. Except those people have their shit together and will loop about 15 to 20 top stories; so that if a viewer does not see the headline, they can wait two to three minutes and read it on the second loop. Our front page is the wet dream of a child with ADD. There is no wrong time for him to click the front page because odds are that he or she will have something new to read. I referenced a lot of different articles earlier, but I’d rather sift through porn and look for real redheads than try and click pages back to see when they were posted.

This is the result of the problems described in the last two paragraphs: people do whatever the fuck they want and nobody is willing to stop them. If you are going to bother writing something, make sure that it is on the front page for the entire day. Is it too much to ask of you that you not go so far out of your way to cockblock your own masturbation? We have those fancy picture links, but honesty those are useless because they are not update all that quickly, because, once again: everybody is posting shit at random. Inkblot writes a nice fuck you to the eSports people and it doesn’t get any nice pictures, but, oh sure - controooollers!

I had significantly more colorful pejoratives to throw at all of the shit throwing monkeys that call the front page home, but the feces bukkake they’ve turned it into speaks for itself.
So here are a few tips for all of you:

1) Pick somebody to edit. Not everybody needs to post shit.

2) Stop posting every fucking video like it’s the latest and greatest. Be nice enough to consolidate the videos into one post or dare I say “article” and leave it at that for the day.

3) Stop putting fucking pictures in between paragraphs; particularly huge ones. It makes all of you look insanely stupid and makes the community seem like a bunch of idiots in need of fancy picture books.

4) Learn to use semicolons. Half the time when you use commas you should be using semicolons.

5) Fuck other people, you write for us. Other people have IGN, Destructoid, the back of shampoo bottles, and other shit to read.

6) Stop doing one or two sentence paragraphs. It is sloppy and generally makes you all look stupid.

The most important point is the second paragraph. Yeah I switched shit around so that the most important point goes first. That’s because I don’t trust any of you raving turds to make it past the first paragraph. See, that's the difference between you and me: I make decisions based on MY audience.

Fun Fact #1, I want the front page to succeed. Many people have worked really hard for there to be a front page that can be nice. Stop taking a shit on their years of efforts and make it worthwhile.

Fun Fact #2, I’m not necessarily shitting on Red Rick Dias doing what was necessary and trying his best to help new people and their incessant quest for the proper pad or stick to play. But god damn it if it came at the wrong time amongst piles of shit. Get together as a group of writers and do something worthwhile for beginners and then move on quickly into your competitive players.

Fun Fact #3: This article was edited twice. I wrote a rough draft. Afterwards I sent it to a friend and he did a first edit. Afterwards I looked at it a second time and did a second edit. This has been edited more times than most articles in the front page. I don’t expect perfect out of any of you but I do hope you put some semblance of effort.
Ronin Chaos on Pertho:

"Oh, Pertho. You complete me."
jimmy1200 wrote: »
pertho attacked me first, saying i get all my life tips from 106th and park.
«1345678

Comments

  • PerthoPertho Capt of Team #Hellspawn Joined: Posts: 22,825 mod
    When they first put the job postings for articles writers on SRK my eyes perked, my dick got a chubby and my mind both imploded and exploded. After the initial wave of giddiness and all the other things that come with imagining such a fantasyland, I read the qualifications for the job and realized that I did not necessarily qualify for such a position. Unfortunately it seems that the qualifications were severely overstated. Some of you may re-read that last sentence and ask “How were they overstated?” To put it nicely it seems that they put all the names in a hat, had someone masturbate over them, and wherever the massive genocide of potential abortions landed, a new life as an front page writer was born. Some may take offense at using abortions to make a point that the front page is bad. But it is worse than bad; it is on the level of dead baby jokes, most rape scenes in movies and Fox News reporting. I should edit that last sentence; dead baby jokes are at least funny.

    I showed the front page to a Catholic priest. He immediately hit me upside the head with a crucifix, and then proceeded to baptize my monitor. He gave me a very stern look and told me: “I know you don’t believe in any sort of god, but those motherfuckers apparently don’t believe in any editing.” I don’t like agreeing with religious folk as it gives them a sense of righteous pride. But this man had seen through a big problem with the damn page: everybody wants do whatever the fuck they want. There appears to be no discernable direction to the front page. We have an article on the objectification of women, an editorial on players, another one on the viability of portable consoles for fighting games, another one on complaining, an article on balance, and lastly on stream monsters. Considering that these people are writing for a website which houses a forum for competitive players, the only question a sane person can ask themselves after reading all of these is: Are you fucking kidding me? These people were given bandwidth to do something productive, and all we get are articles best left for Kotaku. Had these people understood what was being asked of them from the beginning, they would’ve skipped all these idiotic topics and dealt with something that had to do with competition. But unfortunately we can’t have nice things in life since we keep getting assaulted by more moronic things like an article on controllers and one on memorizing combos.

    But alas, this would be a rather huge waste of letters if editorial direction was the only thing wrong with the front page. This barrage of words is opinionated. Some things do not necessarily need to opinionated. Keits was both a blessing and a curse to the front page. He posted content but then he had a fucking smarmy opinion on anything and everything he posted about. Not everything needs a damn paragraph from any of you raving cocksuckers; much less do we need to know what your opinion is on Spider-man’s viability as a character when I’m watching a combo video. The combo video shows impractical things? That’s what they do. Any and all opinions concerning either matches or combo videos, you front page writers need to be nice enough to keep between your taints and your assholes. There are a lot of pieces of media of general interest to the community; a good 99% of them are not vehicles for any of your opinions.

    Hilarity continues to ensue when it concerns the front page. This is mostly because the front page is treated less like the face of a community, and more like the news ticker of a cable news network. Except those people have their shit together and will loop about 15 to 20 top stories; so that if a viewer does not see the headline, they can wait two to three minutes and read it on the second loop. Our front page is the wet dream of a child with ADD. There is no wrong time for him to click the front page because odds are that he or she will have something new to read. I referenced a lot of different articles earlier, but I’d rather sift through porn and look for real redheads than try and click pages back to see when they were posted.

    This is the result of the problems described in the last two paragraphs: people do whatever the fuck they want and nobody is willing to stop them. If you are going to bother writing something, make sure that it is on the front page for the entire day. Is it too much to ask of you that you not go so far out of your way to cockblock your own masturbation? We have those fancy picture links, but honesty those are useless because they are not update all that quickly, because, once again: everybody is posting shit at random. Inkblot writes a nice fuck you to the eSports people and it doesn’t get any nice pictures, but, oh sure - controooollers!

    I had significantly more colorful pejoratives to throw at all of the shit throwing monkeys that call the front page home, but the feces bukkake they’ve turned it into speaks for itself.
    So here are a few tips for all of you:

    1) Pick somebody to edit. Not everybody needs to post shit.

    2) Stop posting every fucking video like it’s the latest and greatest. Be nice enough to consolidate the videos into one post or dare I say “article” and leave it at that for the day.

    3) Stop putting fucking pictures in between paragraphs; particularly huge ones. It makes all of you look insanely stupid and makes the community seem like a bunch of idiots in need of fancy picture books.

    4) Learn to use semicolons. Half the time when you use commas you should be using semicolons.

    5) Fuck other people, you write for us. Other people have IGN, Destructoid, the back of shampoo bottles, and other shit to read.

    6) Stop doing one or two sentence paragraphs. It is sloppy and generally makes you all look stupid.

    The most important point is the second paragraph. Yeah I switched shit around so that the most important point goes first. That’s because I don’t trust any of you raving turds to make it past the first paragraph. See, that's the difference between you and me: I make decisions based on MY audience.

    Edit #1, I want the front page to succeed. Many people have worked really hard for there to be a front page that can be nice. Stop taking a shit on their years of efforts and make it worthwhile.

    Edit #2, I’m not necessarily shitting on Red Rick Dias doing what was necessary and trying his best to help new people and their incessant quest for the proper pad or stick to play. But god damn it if it came at the wrong time amongst piles of shit. Get together as a group of writers and do something worthwhile for beginners and then move on quickly into your competitive players.

    Edit #3: This article was edited twice. I wrote a rough draft. Afterwards I sent it to a friend and he did a first edit. Afterwards I looked at it a second time and did a second edit. This has been edited more times than most articles in the front page. I don’t expect perfect out of any of you but I do hope you put some semblance of effort.
    Ronin Chaos on Pertho:

    "Oh, Pertho. You complete me."
    jimmy1200 wrote: »
    pertho attacked me first, saying i get all my life tips from 106th and park.
  • SleazoidSleazoid Joined: Posts: 4,744
    though i agree with you on the front page sucking,
    This is the result of the problems described in the last two paragraphs: people do whatever the fuck they want and nobody is willing to stop them.
    You guys are too funny. Keits is now SRK's Editor-in-chief and is managing and training the new writers. He's still around but just busy doing more behind the scenes work. He'll be back to writing more once the dust settles.

    if keits saw something wrong he would probably step in and tell people to knock it off
  • The Furious OneThe Furious One Fluent in 3 languages Engrish, Sarcasm & Profanity Joined: Posts: 20,885
    You have a way with words, kinda disappointed you didn't draw a picture to go along with your post.

    I stopped visiting the front page long ago, my bookmark sends me straight to the forum. I do on occasion read the snippets in the top right column but rarely do I follow the link unless it's a new trailer or major announcement.
  • ElderGODElderGOD GOD Joined: Posts: 9,800
    So here are a few tips for all of you:
    1) Pick somebody to edit. Not everybody needs to post shit.
    2) Stop posting every fucking video like it’s the latest and greatest. Be nice enough to consolidate the videos into one post or dare I say “article” and leave it at that for the day.
    3) Stop putting fucking pictures in between paragraphs; particularly huge ones. It makes all of you look insanely stupid and makes the community seem like a bunch of idiots in need of fancy picture books.
    4) Learn to use semicolons. Half the time when you use commas you should be using semicolons.
    5) Fuck other people, you write for us. Other people have IGN, Destructoid, the back of shampoo bottles, and other shit to read.
    6) Stop doing one or two sentence paragraphs. It is sloppy and generally makes you all look stupid.

    That’s because I don’t trust any of you raving turds to make it past the first paragraph. See, that's the difference between you and me: I make decisions based on MY audience.

    I want the front page to succeed.

    Fixed into tl;dr version.

    tl;dr version of tl;dr version:
    Front page sucks, step your shit up.
  • Ben PerkinsBen Perkins Joined: Posts: 6,758
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am SO GLAD I didn't apply like I wanted to. I have years of writing experience under my belt, and I don't think I could have handled this much angry ;_; maybe next time I'll try applying...
  • ElderGODElderGOD GOD Joined: Posts: 9,800
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am SO GLAD I didn't apply like I wanted to. I have years of writing experience under my belt, and I don't think I could have handled this much angry ;_; maybe next time I'll try applying...
    If you have years of writing experience then you should get a real job.
  • entrerixentrerix legendary buster wolf Joined: Posts: 1,305
    this community doesn't have a mom to cook you dinner, make it yourself.
    mains: Al Rashid, Zarak, Vertigo, MidKnight
    alts: Ragnar Bloodaxe, Jen-Tai, Talon, R.A.X.
  • Mr. XMr. X Non Stop ∞ Climax Joined: Posts: 20,239
    This should've been posted in the feedback section I think.
    You did not go back in time, this is how the forums look.
    "You are all just as bad as the people you hate. You're only interested in characters based on tears." - Since1717
    NO STREAM = DEAD GAME
    PSN: X_the_Genius | GGPO: Mr X | Skype: MisterEcks
  • mysticspheremysticsphere Lover of Cakes Joined: Posts: 746
    Wow. I can't believe someone would write such a long ass rant.

    I don't agree or disagree, just . . . that's a lot of negativity, damn.
  • Ben PerkinsBen Perkins Joined: Posts: 6,758
    If you have years of writing experience then you should get a real job.

    I've been looking, man. Times is hard.

    Occupy SRK, man.
  • jae hoonjae hoon Flames of Justice Joined: Posts: 13,180 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    I've been looking, man. Times is hard.

    Occupy SRK, man.

    You should apply to write for Capcom Unity. :rofl:
    SRK Kobrai Kai - Kickin bitches in the face since 2001
  • Little_GotenLittle_Goten No seriously, what the heck's a Kakarot? Joined: Posts: 5,608
    Some of the front-page topics seem more like they would end up being better fit on other sites, like Eventhubs.
    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
    Retiring from fighting games, at least temporarily. My execution sucks.
    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
  • Ben PerkinsBen Perkins Joined: Posts: 6,758
    You should apply to write for Capcom Unity. :rofl:

    Holy shit, are they looking for writers? I totally would.
  • KinetiKKinetiK XBL: KinetiK001 Joined: Posts: 905
    I really likedrexicyan and MyLifeIsAnRPG's articles (even if the latter posts a lot of combo vids which I'm not interested in, he posts useful stuff as well). d3v's are terrible. The rest I'm neutral on.
    A severed foot is the perfect stocking stuffer.
    http://www.last.fm/user/KinetiK01
  • jae hoonjae hoon Flames of Justice Joined: Posts: 13,180 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Holy shit, are they looking for writers? I totally would.

    Lol I have no idea I just know their articles are awful.
    SRK Kobrai Kai - Kickin bitches in the face since 2001
  • PerthoPertho Capt of Team #Hellspawn Joined: Posts: 22,825 mod
    this community doesn't have a mom to cook you dinner, make it yourself.

    Hence why I wrote this. It's a nice way of saying you are fucking up.
    if keits saw something wrong he would probably step in and tell people to knock it off

    He hasn't hence why this article happened. Front page is a mess and its probably going to stay that way.
    I really likedrexicyan and MyLifeIsAnRPG's articles (even if the latter posts a lot of combo vids which I'm not interested in, he posts useful stuff as well). d3v's are terrible. The rest I'm neutral on.

    D3v can write well, but his articles have no place here.
    Ronin Chaos on Pertho:

    "Oh, Pertho. You complete me."
    jimmy1200 wrote: »
    pertho attacked me first, saying i get all my life tips from 106th and park.
  • SleazoidSleazoid Joined: Posts: 4,744
    He hasn't hence why this article happened.

    if someone submitted a "how to pick up girls at tournaments like that x-23 cosplayer yeah she's fine" article and keits turned it down, how would you know that happened?

    of course i don't work for srk either so who am i to say keits is actually monitoring the front page

    anyway i guess what i'm saying is at least give srk the benefit of the doubt on this one

    we can all agree the front page is ass and poo, but to go and assume that nobody is doing anything at all and letting things go to shit is just belligerent.
  • MuffinOfFunMuffinOfFun MvC3 Crouching H is Magic! Joined: Posts: 101
    It's pretty meh. I don't really remember any of the new guys names yet but we need more articles, and less "DESK MADE A VIDEO? THIS IS NEWS!" Keep all videos to a weekly roundup I say. However the articles that have been written are actually pretty good so keep that stuff up.

    What I would propose would be like a topic of the week format like for instance like people are bitching about Wesker and he's getting some nerfs in the next patch. Each editor could make an article arguing their opinions (no nerf, too soon, nerf him) and saying what they should change, not change, etc. It would be interesting and could start an actual conversation. Just an idea.
    Megaman X is like Zero only shit.
  • pheraipherai LIVE FOREVER Joined: Posts: 11,887 mod
    I agree the front page sucks but not because of shit like improper use of commas or 2 sentence paragraphs. I think it sucks because most of the articles are regurgitated opinions, fanboy indulgence, or semi news speculation.
    pherai gouki dated gwen stefani in HighSchool. Thats why today she likes all things Japan. smokin.gif
  • DoctaMarioDoctaMario Sometimes It Snows In April... Joined: Posts: 3,575
    So you, uh, didn't get the job, eh?

    I'd nominate this if I could.
    "Money matches are against the law in Japan. They can never be good at Marvel." -4r5
  • black shoemakerblack shoemaker black hatmaker Joined: Posts: 995
    I'm sorry, but I'll take 2009 SRK over today's SRK, anyday; I miss rep. Shit, I'll take 2010 SRK too, even if it had that stupid contribution system, at least it was still vBulletin.

    $50 says SRK will go under another huge overhaul because the admins can't make up their minds.
    jerb
  • Kanta-KunKanta-Kun Magnudisto... BLAAAAAAAST Joined: Posts: 5,545
    Wasn't it funny how one simple rep bar was enough to keep fools in check? I registered in 2009. I am an 09'er but I only got shit for it once, from a retard who was just trolling everyone.

    The repbar was a stupidity censor and a BIG RED TARGET on people with shitty posts.

    Having positive rep back then... felt good. felt like you were actually contributing something to discussions.
    "I think the game should punch you in the face every time you pick Nova." -ShadyK
  • PerthoPertho Capt of Team #Hellspawn Joined: Posts: 22,825 mod

    we can all agree the front page is ass and poo, but to go and assume that nobody is doing anything at all and letting things go to shit is just belligerent.

    The front page has no direction, it constantly stops itself from promoting featured articles by putting up little bullshit to push content to pages 3 and 4, AND the articles that do get publish are of dubious need for the community. Somebody is beyond asleep at the job. If you are ok with this, you can sure as hell go to Kotaku and deal with their dribble.
    I agree the front page sucks but not because of shit like improper use of commas or 2 sentence paragraphs. I think it sucks because most of the articles are regurgitated opinions, fanboy indulgence, or semi news speculation.

    While all that is correct, I do expect articles to be properly edited. It may not seem like much but if people are going to get paid for something, it needs to reflect that some money went to it. Otherwise do it for free, let it be shitty and have that money somewhere else that is going to reflect the investment.
    Ronin Chaos on Pertho:

    "Oh, Pertho. You complete me."
    jimmy1200 wrote: »
    pertho attacked me first, saying i get all my life tips from 106th and park.
  • Ben PerkinsBen Perkins Joined: Posts: 6,758
    I think maybe I will go through and apply next time SRK hires writers. I wanna bring some awesome quality and new stuff to the SRK homepage.
  • Dances with NinjasDances with Ninjas Kung Fu Treachery Joined: Posts: 814
    How was I supposed to read that? It didn't have any pictures of fighting game stuff with stupid internet faces pasted all over it.
    "Unless you mean Dances with Ninjas? Whatever. He's the genius champion of our generation..." - TWG Arthur
  • angelpalmangelpalm Stop enjoying things Joined: Posts: 24,555 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    Another thread for this shit?

    Is this gonna be a daily thing?

    Whatevs, Rep bars were just another way for new members and forum scrubs to circle jerk each. The like button would be better if people STILL didn't quote walls of text and images/vids just to say "THIS"
    Mains:
    Blazpoo -Continual Shit: Tiddy Witch
    Crapcom Big foot Sex simulator V - Pc muscle mod edition: That dude that slaps his ass.
    Aggressors of Koliseum Kombat: Kisarah
    Rapelay: Kimura
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/19/opinion/alt-right-white-supremacy-undercover.html?smid=tw-share
    http://helloracist.com/
  • black shoemakerblack shoemaker black hatmaker Joined: Posts: 995
    When they first put the job postings for articles writers on SRK my eyes perked, my dick got a chubby and my mind both imploded and exploded. After the initial wave of giddiness and all the other things that come with imagining such a fantasyland, I read the qualifications for the job and realized that I did not necessarily qualify for such a position. Unfortunately it seems that the qualifications were severely overstated. Some of you may re-read that last sentence and ask “How were they overstated?” To put it nicely it seems that they put all the names in a hat, had someone masturbate over them, and wherever the massive genocide of potential abortions landed, a new life as an front page writer was born. Some may take offense at using abortions to make a point that the front page is bad. But it is worse than bad; it is on the level of dead baby jokes, most rape scenes in movies and Fox News reporting. I should edit that last sentence; dead baby jokes are at least funny.

    I showed the front page to a Catholic priest. He immediately hit me upside the head with a crucifix, and then proceeded to baptize my monitor. He gave me a very stern look and told me: “I know you don’t believe in any sort of god, but those motherfuckers apparently don’t believe in any editing.” I don’t like agreeing with religious folk as it gives them a sense of righteous pride. But this man had seen through a big problem with the damn page: everybody wants do whatever the fuck they want. There appears to be no discernable direction to the front page. We have an article on the objectification of women, an editorial on players, another one on the viability of portable consoles for fighting games, another one on complaining, an article on balance, and lastly on stream monsters. Considering that these people are writing for a website which houses a forum for competitive players, the only question a sane person can ask themselves after reading all of these is: Are you fucking kidding me? These people were given bandwidth to do something productive, and all we get are articles best left for Kotaku. Had these people understood what was being asked of them from the beginning, they would’ve skipped all these idiotic topics and dealt with something that had to do with competition. But unfortunately we can’t have nice things in life since we keep getting assaulted by more moronic things like an article on controllers and one on memorizing combos.

    But alas, this would be a rather huge waste of letters if editorial direction was the only thing wrong with the front page. This barrage of words is opinionated. Some things do not necessarily need to opinionated. Keits was both a blessing and a curse to the front page. He posted content but then he had a fucking smarmy opinion on anything and everything he posted about. Not everything needs a damn paragraph from any of you raving cocksuckers; much less do we need to know what your opinion is on Spider-man’s viability as a character when I’m watching a combo video. The combo video shows impractical things? That’s what they do. Any and all opinions concerning either matches or combo videos, you front page writers need to be nice enough to keep between your taints and your assholes. There are a lot of pieces of media of general interest to the community; a good 99% of them are not vehicles for any of your opinions.

    Hilarity continues to ensue when it concerns the front page. This is mostly because the front page is treated less like the face of a community, and more like the news ticker of a cable news network. Except those people have their shit together and will loop about 15 to 20 top stories; so that if a viewer does not see the headline, they can wait two to three minutes and read it on the second loop. Our front page is the wet dream of a child with ADD. There is no wrong time for him to click the front page because odds are that he or she will have something new to read. I referenced a lot of different articles earlier, but I’d rather sift through porn and look for real redheads than try and click pages back to see when they were posted.

    This is the result of the problems described in the last two paragraphs: people do whatever the fuck they want and nobody is willing to stop them. If you are going to bother writing something, make sure that it is on the front page for the entire day. Is it too much to ask of you that you not go so far out of your way to cockblock your own masturbation? We have those fancy picture links, but honesty those are useless because they are not update all that quickly, because, once again: everybody is posting shit at random. Inkblot writes a nice fuck you to the eSports people and it doesn’t get any nice pictures, but, oh sure - controooollers!

    I had significantly more colorful pejoratives to throw at all of the shit throwing monkeys that call the front page home, but the feces bukkake they’ve turned it into speaks for itself.
    So here are a few tips for all of you:

    1) Pick somebody to edit. Not everybody needs to post shit.

    2) Stop posting every fucking video like it’s the latest and greatest. Be nice enough to consolidate the videos into one post or dare I say “article” and leave it at that for the day.

    3) Stop putting fucking pictures in between paragraphs; particularly huge ones. It makes all of you look insanely stupid and makes the community seem like a bunch of idiots in need of fancy picture books.

    4) Learn to use semicolons. Half the time when you use commas you should be using semicolons.

    5) Fuck other people, you write for us. Other people have IGN, Destructoid, the back of shampoo bottles, and other shit to read.

    6) Stop doing one or two sentence paragraphs. It is sloppy and generally makes you all look stupid.

    The most important point is the second paragraph. Yeah I switched shit around so that the most important point goes first. That’s because I don’t trust any of you raving turds to make it past the first paragraph. See, that's the difference between you and me: I make decisions based on MY audience.

    Fun Fact #1, I want the front page to succeed. Many people have worked really hard for there to be a front page that can be nice. Stop taking a shit on their years of efforts and make it worthwhile.

    Fun Fact #2, I’m not necessarily shitting on Red Rick Dias doing what was necessary and trying his best to help new people and their incessant quest for the proper pad or stick to play. But god damn it if it came at the wrong time amongst piles of shit. Get together as a group of writers and do something worthwhile for beginners and then move on quickly into your competitive players.

    Fun Fact #3: This article was edited twice. I wrote a rough draft. Afterwards I sent it to a friend and he did a first edit. Afterwards I looked at it a second time and did a second edit. This has been edited more times than most articles in the front page. I don’t expect perfect out of any of you but I do hope you put some semblance of effort.
    This
    jerb
  • CLU 2CLU 2 Capcom's gonna get sued for that ass. Joined: Posts: 5,710
    Another thread for this shit?

    Is this gonna be a daily thing?

    Whatevs, Rep bars were just another way for new members and forum scrubs to circle jerk each. The like button would be better if people STILL didn't quote walls of text and images/vids just to say "THIS"

    Rep made people cry.

    Except for Nando, wasn't it?

    He was full red like a Sith Lord's lightsaber, and only grew stronger from it.
    "Terribad FG." ~ Hatred Edge, on Soul Calibur V

    As for hubcapsignstop, trying to respond to anything he says is like having your OS ask "Delete C:\ and mass-rape orphans? Y/Y?" ~ ThePurpleBunny
  • Dances with NinjasDances with Ninjas Kung Fu Treachery Joined: Posts: 814
    "Unless you mean Dances with Ninjas? Whatever. He's the genius champion of our generation..." - TWG Arthur
  • CLU 2CLU 2 Capcom's gonna get sued for that ass. Joined: Posts: 5,710
    "Terribad FG." ~ Hatred Edge, on Soul Calibur V

    As for hubcapsignstop, trying to respond to anything he says is like having your OS ask "Delete C:\ and mass-rape orphans? Y/Y?" ~ ThePurpleBunny
  • Radiantsilvergun3Radiantsilvergun3 Smooth Criminal Joined: Posts: 11,277
    You can get infracted for quoting a wall of text and giving a one word response, ESPECIALLY "this".
    RoninChaos: A snap back is when you pimp slap a bitch with your back hand, and snap back around to catch her with the front.

    In this one and only life, I fear not death but monotony
  • DevilJin 01DevilJin 01 Get some shill in yo system Joined: Posts: 58,856 mod
    My favorite part about this thread is it's got dat old SRK salt OP.

    I agree that it's a bit out of hand now but...keeps me updated and I don't like looking at event hubs. Whatever.

    Tips 5 and 6 made me ROFL
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am SO GLAD I didn't apply like I wanted to. I have years of writing experience under my belt, and I don't think I could have handled this much angry ;_; maybe next time I'll try applying...

    ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO WRITE REAL BAD DUDE ARTICLES?! ARE YOU?!



    In the 2010's we had a writer apocalypse. In 20 years time we should get what we need. Will "Big Valley's" writing antics ever cease?

    Ain't nothin, Capcom's ruthless still producin.  Cut em a check or find yoself toothless.  Keep it shill with no confusin.  Niggas say I'm shill...they ain't hard I can prove it YEEEAH


  • CLU 2CLU 2 Capcom's gonna get sued for that ass. Joined: Posts: 5,710
    You can get infracted for quoting a wall of text and giving a one word response, ESPECIALLY "this".

    I know this.

    But it has been allowed to slide in the past, whenever the mods agreed with it.

    One would like to think that people who go the whole "quote a wall of text" route would at least adopt Graduate Student Term Paper standards, and add one to two sentences of their own tacked on at the end.

    "This" is so very modern day secondary school of them.
    "Terribad FG." ~ Hatred Edge, on Soul Calibur V

    As for hubcapsignstop, trying to respond to anything he says is like having your OS ask "Delete C:\ and mass-rape orphans? Y/Y?" ~ ThePurpleBunny
  • TheDarkPhoenixTheDarkPhoenix BEHOLD! Joined: Posts: 12,659 mod
    man that volunteer work is serious business
    "this game is about winning, If you had the option of a 1) Big dick or 2) a small dick, would you choose 2 because it took more skill? Thought not"
    -Bokkin
  • orkaorka alpha Joined: Posts: 7,174
    The problem is that the overwhelming majority of the stuff on the front page is not 'news' and are columns and editorials. Ironically, I've found that the best 'articles' are those that barely have any writing in them and simply summarize actual news (info on new game in development, location test play, etc.) in sentence or two and link to the source.
  • PerthoPertho Capt of Team #Hellspawn Joined: Posts: 22,825 mod
    man that volunteer work is serious business

    Cop out comment. Writing for the front page is a fantastic opportunity for those who were chosen to have solid material they can submit as writing samples. There is no reason to let it go to waste on badly fleshed out ideas and sloppy editing. This is a great opportunity for the community to have content on its main website and to establish different voices to start communicating to the outside world like the legit people we are that they don't understand.

    Considering I've done my share of volunteer work, I take offense at the fact that somebody wouldn't take it seriously.
    Ronin Chaos on Pertho:

    "Oh, Pertho. You complete me."
    jimmy1200 wrote: »
    pertho attacked me first, saying i get all my life tips from 106th and park.
  • Ben PerkinsBen Perkins Joined: Posts: 6,758
    My favorite part about this thread is it's got dat old SRK salt OP.

    I agree that it's a bit out of hand now but...keeps me updated and I don't like looking at event hubs. Whatever.

    Tips 5 and 6 made me ROFL



    ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO WRITE REAL BAD DUDE ARTICLES?! ARE YOU?!

    I will headbutt the FUCK out the front page. That settles it: next time the opportunity arises, I'm applying and getting a position.
  • KikuichimonjiKikuichimonji Watch out, I know frame data Joined: Posts: 4,585
    I learn far more from option-select.com and sonichurricane.com than the front page of SRK.
    Domination 101 by Seth Killian - The original blueprint for competitive fighting game thought.

    Maj's Footsies Handbook - It's like the Bible, but for Street Fighter.
  • Radiantsilvergun3Radiantsilvergun3 Smooth Criminal Joined: Posts: 11,277
    I learn far more from option-select.com and sonichurricane.com than the front page of SRK.
    Sonic Hurricane's Footsies Guide is God Like.
    RoninChaos: A snap back is when you pimp slap a bitch with your back hand, and snap back around to catch her with the front.

    In this one and only life, I fear not death but monotony
  • Fresh LettuceFresh Lettuce Perfect for Salad Joined: Posts: 159
    Most of the editorial articles are really, really, really bad. I'm not even talking about quality of technical writing here. Like the subject matter is just stupid and poorly handled. d3v especially writes utter garbage.

    Not to say I don't think they can improve or should be removed or anything, but is sacrificing the quality of SRK's frontpage worth having more content in the long run?
«1345678
Sign In or Register to comment.