The Relationship/Dating Thread: We will argue over your issue like we're your parents...even yell.

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  • Negative-Zer0Negative-Zer0 Joined: Posts: 9,704
    dab00g wrote: »
    Sounds like he isn't really a friend. Seems like you have bigger issues with him beyond bitches. Sometimes you grow out of being friends with people.

    Most of my real friends died right aftet high school. Literally they went into the military and were gone.

    So most of my buds now are from the mma gym i frequent. But i mostly chill with my cousins.

    I feel like if your friends don't feel like family what's the point in keeping them.

    Network connections. Never know when your going to need another job. I'm feeling that pain now because I lost contact with a lot of people who I hear have good jobs know, at least for a college student.
    “I was trying to take the easy way out by running away from everything. No matter the pain, I will keep living. So when I die, I'll feel I did the best I could.” - Koala
  • BBQBBQ ピンクゾーン Joined: Posts: 3,678
    dab00g wrote: »
    Sounds like he isn't really a friend. Seems like you have bigger issues with him beyond bitches. Sometimes you grow out of being friends with people.

    Most of my real friends died right aftet high school. Literally they went into the military and were gone.

    So most of my buds now are from the mma gym i frequent. But i mostly chill with my cousins.

    I feel like if your friends don't feel like family what's the point in keeping them.

    I'm glad that you can see now what I'm irked about. It was almost like an illusion of what it was back in the day, but just an illusion. Seems like we are now on different wave lengths, I'm trying to better myself with challenges that he can't even fathom doing, which is why he has been doing janitorial work for a number of years now and will not bother striving for better things besides career paths. In general most of the people I've hung around over the few years has been, in a nut shell, sloppy at life, and I've been in a rut due to the influence around me. There's some truth to who you are is who you hang around with, which I guess I will admit made me this "beta bitch" because I've been out of work and haven't been to the bone zone for quite some time. Sorry everyone for spilling this shit, but besides this thread, I've been doing a lot of thinking while I'm out riding my bike and talking to other friends, and I think now I know what I need to do to get myself back on my feet again and also move on while closing some bridges. Thanks, but I'm done bitching about this.
  • dab00gdab00g Joined: Posts: 21,038
    Dude though you weren't sounding like you usually do. But hey happens to the best of us. Your situations sound more like you found out how the guy you thought was cool really is a dick.

    But hey whatever. Just shit when you reallize that a lot of people you thought were friends really weren't it is part of getting older
  • MIRACLEARROWMIRACLEARROW Kendoka Joined: Posts: 2,046
    Ok new topic. This has been something that I've been wanting to talk about for a while. This Alpha and Beta convos people are always having.
    I think that its a bunch of BS because this idea of being some Alpha male is highly posterized that everyone calls people who arent getting it Betas. But for me for example I'm an extremely succesful guy in pretty much all areas of my life, definitely not what you would consider the Alpha male. I have high goals and asperations that I have/am achieving but that doesn't make me "Alpha" so how does that work lol. Curious how people interpret this concept.

    Go!
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  • FeistyFreeFeistyFree Joined: Posts: 440
    Ok new topic. This has been something that I've been wanting to talk about for a while. This Alpha and Beta convos people are always having.
    I think that its a bunch of BS because this idea of being some Alpha male is highly posterized that everyone calls people who arent getting it Betas. But for me for example I'm an extremely succesful guy in pretty much all areas of my life, definitely not what you would consider the Alpha male. I have high goals and asperations that I have/am achieving but that doesn't make me "Alpha" so how does that work lol. Curious how people interpret this concept.

    Go!

    Isnt being succesful exactly what an "alpha male" is? Or are we approaching this from a biological point of view?
    e.g. big and muscular?
    steam: gigglz
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  • MIRACLEARROWMIRACLEARROW Kendoka Joined: Posts: 2,046
    FeistyFree wrote: »
    Ok new topic. This has been something that I've been wanting to talk about for a while. This Alpha and Beta convos people are always having.
    I think that its a bunch of BS because this idea of being some Alpha male is highly posterized that everyone calls people who arent getting it Betas. But for me for example I'm an extremely succesful guy in pretty much all areas of my life, definitely not what you would consider the Alpha male. I have high goals and asperations that I have/am achieving but that doesn't make me "Alpha" so how does that work lol. Curious how people interpret this concept.

    Go!

    Isnt being succesful exactly what an "alpha male" is? Or are we approaching this from a biological point of view?
    e.g. big and muscular?

    Thats kind of what I wanted to discuss. Because like from a social perspective I'm definitely not an "Alpha" nor would I consider myself that. I strive to be successful and I go about it in a smart way but
    thats why Im curious to see people's idea when it comes to this topic.
    Check Out my Evil Ryu Combo/Mixup Video!!
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  • SeraphSeraph I am above you all, but there only one above me. Joined: Posts: 284
    Anybody that follows that Alpha and Beta concept are just brainwashed fools.
    "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee and The Buddha. "The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep. You become a lion. A great roar rises from your heart - the roar of freedom". "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world" - Robin Williams.
  • SeraphSeraph I am above you all, but there only one above me. Joined: Posts: 284
    I'm an Alpha Omega. LOL.
    "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee and The Buddha. "The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep. You become a lion. A great roar rises from your heart - the roar of freedom". "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world" - Robin Williams.
  • Tekno VirusTekno Virus small man big strength Joined: Posts: 8,744
    Kappa
    The Gates of Creation are manifold. I vow to enter them all.
    Dellusions are inexhaustible.
    I vow to end them all.
    Sentient beings are numberless.
    I vow to save them all.

    The Kree Way is SUPREME.
  • MIRACLEARROWMIRACLEARROW Kendoka Joined: Posts: 2,046
    edited August 2014
    Alright guys. So around 6 months ago I moved in with my gf. Right around the time of our 2 year anniversary. Generally speaking up until that point we had a pretty stable relationship with minimal fights but there were things between the two of us that we generally disagreed upon. We're finding out from living together that we have less and less in common. The other issue is that my girlfriend is constantly nitpicking everything and she even acknowledges it to the point where she comes home and acts like a complete B**** to me and I point it out and she realizes it. And I tell her not to do it but it keeps happening. There are things that I'm doing that are somewhat minor that she consistently is blowing up and its getting to the point where its ripping us apart. She knows that she doesnt treat me very well. But at the same time we both do love each other a lot and the things we do have in common is just that. So I don't really know what I should do. We go through these phases where we fight and then make up and things get better but I'm concerned about being in a long term relationship with someone with these types of problems. I wont get into exact details but she didnt exactly have the easiest time growing up and has had some major traumatic issues along the way. What should i do? As well, I'm not making it out like I'm perfect because I'm not. I know there is more things that I could do to make her happy but that said I have changed ALOT in the past 2 and half years we've been together and we keep coming to this same issue for me over and over.
    Check Out my Evil Ryu Combo/Mixup Video!!
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  • MIRACLEARROWMIRACLEARROW Kendoka Joined: Posts: 2,046
    Ya i mean i don't really know. I thought i did but the further down the rabbit hole we go the more and more issues I have. She is mad because our personalities clash in a lot of ways but its issues I feel like a normal person can look past. I just feel like shes generally unhappy right now and shes going to look back and be regretful and maybe so will I but not sure how much longer this type of relationship can be sustained. We are in a really big arguement and I'm going to put my foot down tonight and the likelyhood of us breaking up is unfortuantely higher than I desire.
    Check Out my Evil Ryu Combo/Mixup Video!!
    2012 Main: Evil Ryu and Ryu
    Retired: Guile - *Shades*, Makoto
    PSN - TojiSake
  • dab00gdab00g Joined: Posts: 21,038
    Here's what i say to you and all guys thinking of moving in. Only do it if you are going to marry her. She will control every aspect in the household. The freedom you used to have. That cool relationship you guys had space. But if you move in that means you will be living the married life.

    It's not about ooh we are such a great couple let's see what it's like to live together.

    My girlfriend of 8 years has basically moved in. Well withou her being here all the time, but she still lives at home. I am ok when she stays for a week or two, but she goes home. I already have trial periods of us being with each other for weeks on vacation. And being here at my home. Which she decorated because you know she is going to move in.

    We got pictures everywhere and pictures of my nieces and her nephews on the fridge. But heh.

    Really it's being super relateable and taking l's even if you are the breadmaker

    Once she finishes grad school and starts her career i can propose and get married pretty much since we already are.

    But heh that's just my scenario
  • SeraphSeraph I am above you all, but there only one above me. Joined: Posts: 284
    Just dump that bitch.
    "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee and The Buddha. "The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep. You become a lion. A great roar rises from your heart - the roar of freedom". "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world" - Robin Williams.
  • TheRock-BoSTheRock-BoS Still playing tricks Joined: Posts: 1,654 ✭✭✭✭✭ OG
    I just feel like shes generally unhappy right now.

    Well, if she doesn't shape up and start making you happy, she can be unhappy by herself.

    I miss the Rep bar....
    PSN, XBL, Nintendo ID: TheRockBoS
    3DS FC: 5198 - 3761 - 2370
  • dab00gdab00g Joined: Posts: 21,038
    ShaPe up?

    Sounds like he thought living together meant affordable rent and pussy

    He jumped right into being married

    Would never do that unless i was in lov
  • orochizoolanderorochizoolander 2LANDER! Joined: Posts: 15,636
    edited August 2014
    Ya i mean i don't really know. I thought i did but the further down the rabbit hole we go the more and more issues I have. She is mad because our personalities clash in a lot of ways but its issues I feel like a normal person can look past. I just feel like shes generally unhappy right now and shes going to look back and be regretful and maybe so will I but not sure how much longer this type of relationship can be sustained. We are in a really big arguement and I'm going to put my foot down tonight and the likelyhood of us breaking up is unfortuantely higher than I desire.

    Within the past few years I've noticed a pattern with the vast majority of women and that is regardless of what their personality or life is like they view differences between themselves and the man they're interested in as a turn off as if they're expecting to meet someone who is a male version of themselves. Personalities clashing isn't something that anyone should instantly have a negative connotation with and yet most women do and that is a clear sign of both stubbornness and close-mindedness, it's wrong for anyone to expect another person to change who they are just to suit their own needs and wants, instead you and your gf need to accept each other for who you both are and try to compromise and sacrifice where you two can for each other.

    Why the fuck is this even an issue to begin with? Relationships aren't supposed to work like what you're describing, if a woman has a problem with your personality then she should have passed on you from the start, but by wanting to be in a relationship with you she has also made a tacit agreement to aceept both the good and bad parts of you not just cherry pick when she wants to deal with you and when she doesn't. Sounds like she has buyer's remorse and that's 100% her fault not yours, don't become one of the countless spineless losers who do or say anything to keep their gf from leaving them, it sounds like you two don't speak openly with each other because if you two did then whatever problems you two have could have been resolved by now

    What is the argument about if you don't mind sharing? What is so toxic about your personality or behavior that makes her willing to throw away the relationship? It has been my experience that men are a lot more willing to put up with a woman's bullshit than a woman is with a man's bullshit because they both know the woman has more options so women have generally never had to compromise or sacrifice as much as a man, but that isn't how it should be a relationship is supposed to be at it's core two people who will do anything and everything to make each other happy and stick together no matter what happens (unless someone cheats lol).
    P. gorath said: seriously though, it really crystalized how much better mvc3 is than that game. "Oh look, commando vs. 3 characters...this will be excitin--zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzz"
  • dab00gdab00g Joined: Posts: 21,038
    The problem was moving in before being emotionally ready
  • Dj Hyper KidDj Hyper Kid The Nati Kid Joined: Posts: 5,500
    dab00g wrote: »
    The problem was moving in before being emotionally ready

    Along with mentally ready.

    Cats have to be self sufficient first. My whole thing with me and my fiancee moving in together was that we both would be fine if we lived on our own. We just figured that it was time to get it poppin because we already knew what we wanted to do and we knew we were ready to do it.
  • dab00gdab00g Joined: Posts: 21,038
    That's how it shoukd be. But dudes be hearing of their friends moving in and dumb girls thinking it's the next step in life to move in.

    If you aren't financially, mentallly, or emotionally ready to take on that stress of being together all the time don't do it.
  • DrellyFishDrellyFish Joined: Posts: 4,549
    Yo good view Hyper Kid. I always felt that before moving in you need to be able to support yourself. Because moving in to financially support each other sounds bad. One of my coworkers has a dependent husband. So if by chance they divorced it would be all bad for him....or not really since his parents will let him right back in.

    But yeah if I had a gf and we moved in to financially support each other it would be all bad if we split and neither of us was making enough dough in the first place to fully support ourselves alone
  • MIRACLEARROWMIRACLEARROW Kendoka Joined: Posts: 2,046
    edited August 2014
    What is the argument about if you don't mind sharing? What is so toxic about your personality or behavior that makes her willing to throw away the relationship? It has been my experience that men are a lot more willing to put up with a woman's bullshit than a woman is with a man's bullshit because they both know the woman has more options so women have generally never had to compromise or sacrifice as much as a man, but that isn't how it should be a relationship is supposed to be at it's core two people who will do anything and everything to make each other happy and stick together no matter what happens (unless someone cheats lol).

    She says that I dont step up enough. So I took @TheRock-BoS‌ 's advice and basically put my foot down and things went really well. Essentially she wants me to step up in regards to the things she asks me and just be more helpful. Which I thought I am but from the sounds of things she wants more. And I basically said I would do that which I dont think is unreasonable but at the same time she basically has to change the way she treats me or our relationship is going to end. We are a good couple and honestly we do love each other and moving in has been both good and bad. But I do agree that it's BS that there are these things that apparently she cant move on from but at the same time dont get it twisted. I'm not a spineless loser nor does she have the only option in the relationship, we've both made choices and I accept that. It takes 2 people in a relationship and you're not just at the whim of your girlfriend/wife etc. If there is something you don't like about a relationship try to fix it and if you cant then thats the end. So as far as communication we communicate quite well but sometimes "communicating" and getting through are two totally different things lmfao.
    dab00g wrote: »
    The problem was moving in before being emotionally ready

    Along with mentally ready.

    Cats have to be self sufficient first. My whole thing with me and my fiancee moving in together was that we both would be fine if we lived on our own. We just figured that it was time to get it poppin because we already knew what we wanted to do and we knew we were ready to do it.

    I think kid's/boog's advice is correct. But trust me one person can throw that whole spectrum out of balance. The two of us are both extremely successful people at work, in our relationship and when we were at home. Our biggest issue is because we're both working so much/hard we never have any time at home and when we do we're both exhausted and don't want to do shit. I guess what I'm trying to say is, even sometimes when you think you're ready, you might not be and you find things out about people when you move in with them. So I guess my lesson if I ever do this again is just ease into it longer like @BullDancer‌ said.


    Its the problem with our generation unfortunately. And I may still marry the girl, but I didn't really know and it was the next step in the relationship. I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes even loving each other isn't enough, so we will see what happens from here. Thanks for all your help guys. I really appreciate the advice!
    Check Out my Evil Ryu Combo/Mixup Video!!
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  • MechWarriorMechWarrior Joined: Posts: 5,718
    Neesa wrote: »
    J-ride wrote: »
    All of that men need to be more emotional and communicate Dr. Phil nonsense is a lie.

    So communication and being more honest with your feelings makes you what? Less of a man? Nothing wrong with it, if you're not being completely bitchmade with it.
    Agreed.
    You can be nice, and never contested on your hot buttons, if you act accordingly.

    You don't have to be a doormat to be kind.
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  • orochizoolanderorochizoolander 2LANDER! Joined: Posts: 15,636
    Neesa wrote: »
    J-ride wrote: »
    All of that men need to be more emotional and communicate Dr. Phil nonsense is a lie.

    So communication and being more honest with your feelings makes you what? Less of a man? Nothing wrong with it, if you're not being completely bitchmade with it.

    If you can't be completely open with your partner than you're just wasting that person's time as well as your own, why the fuck would anyone disrespect themselves enough to be with someone they didn't feel comfortable being themselves around?

    J-Ride go home, you're dumb.



    And fuck Dr. Phil, actually I respect the nigga's hustle, he probably knows he can spew generic, unhelpful, dumb, bullshit and make bank off that because of the Oprah endorsement.
    P. gorath said: seriously though, it really crystalized how much better mvc3 is than that game. "Oh look, commando vs. 3 characters...this will be excitin--zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzz"
  • DrellyFishDrellyFish Joined: Posts: 4,549
    So uh......

    May have to edit the link. If you on PC but this shit is ridiculous

    http://m.worldstarhiphop.com/android/video.php?v=wshh9e22yD5STU6J937u