Are You Okay? SRK Mental Health Thread

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Comments

  • KashiyukasthighsKashiyukasthighs Joined: Posts: 992
    Id say drop out for a semester if your depression really is that crippling.
  • DramatixDramatix Could be better. Joined: Posts: 4,486
    I've been using my depression as an excuse lately, and it wouldn't be a bad idea, but it's me not prioritizing things I guess. I don't want to drop out because personally as a black man, I pride myself on being educated/an academic. I tell myself that I can't be another mediocre person of color with nothing to offer, and my biggest fear is just waking up to nothing. It's really why I'm in school other than wanting a career or decent job for myself. However, I will say that my university is more towards STEM majors, and I'm a writer and artist.
    "Everyone in here has had someone who tried to convince them that they were sexually harassed, and you did not believe them because they were not cute."
  • KashiyukasthighsKashiyukasthighs Joined: Posts: 992
    You're failing art classes, so you're a failed art major. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You have to accept the fact that your discipline is garbage, and once you accept that, you can start building it from scratch. You need to be the one that ignites that path though, no one else can do it for you.
  • KashiyukasthighsKashiyukasthighs Joined: Posts: 992
    And by discipline I don't mean your major, I mean your study habits/work ethic.
  • DramatixDramatix Could be better. Joined: Posts: 4,486
    You're failing art classes, so you're a failed art major. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You have to accept the fact that your discipline is garbage, and once you accept that, you can start building it from scratch. You need to be the one that ignites that path though, no one else can do it for you.

    But I'm not taking art classes at the moment. I can't take those until I get into the program which I was rejected from. I'm also highly aware that I'm responsible for myself (never understood others feel the need to include such a reminder).
    "Everyone in here has had someone who tried to convince them that they were sexually harassed, and you did not believe them because they were not cute."
  • DramatixDramatix Could be better. Joined: Posts: 4,486
    But you're not wrong though. My discipline is abysmal, so this week during spring break, I'm going to sit down and write out Spanish notes and guides while training for my competition this Saturday. I've also researched black game developers and what they majored in to see where they started. Of course I can't follow the same exact path as them, but it will give me an idea and more to assess.
    "Everyone in here has had someone who tried to convince them that they were sexually harassed, and you did not believe them because they were not cute."
  • KashiyukasthighsKashiyukasthighs Joined: Posts: 992
    edited March 19
    Dramatix wrote: »
    You're failing art classes, so you're a failed art major. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You have to accept the fact that your discipline is garbage, and once you accept that, you can start building it from scratch. You need to be the one that ignites that path though, no one else can do it for you.

    But I'm not taking art classes at the moment. I can't take those until I get into the program which I was rejected from. I'm also highly aware that I'm responsible for myself (never understood others feel the need to include such a reminder).

    Replace art with whatever braindead humanities classes you're taking, same thing.
  • KashiyukasthighsKashiyukasthighs Joined: Posts: 992
    edited March 19
    game developers know how to program, so you're in the completely wrong field to start with if thats your goal.
  • DramatixDramatix Could be better. Joined: Posts: 4,486
    I'm not too sure what to gather from your advice at this point.
    "Everyone in here has had someone who tried to convince them that they were sexually harassed, and you did not believe them because they were not cute."
  • DarkGeneralDarkGeneral Joined: Posts: 4,366
    Dramatix wrote: »
    Thus far, I've failed two exams while struggling with a class, and recently I've been rejected by the art program at my university. It made me realize I have no skills, valuable qualities or backup plans, so I gave myself three options: either reapply, settle for English, or drop out and kill myself. I decided that if I have nothing to offer to the world, I shouldn't be in it.

    Also most likely ended a friendship with my best friend. As of lately, I've been taking my stress out on him and others and last night I apologized to him. He said, "It's cool idk, I guess I'll have to stop taking it then haha", and I responded that I'm breaking off for a while because I didn't want to be a dark cloud around him and decided I didn't matter. I think it's for the best that I'm gone.

    You're putting too much unnecessary pressure on yourself and seeing things through a self defeatist filter. If he's your friend, a real friend, he understands what you're going through on some level and is doing his best to understand you and your situation. If he was to leave don't even sweat it, people come in and out of your life regularly. They either add, subtract, divide or multiply, very rarely do they have a neutral effect on your well being.

    I think you need to take one thing at a time. Here's my suggestions (I'm not accredited, nor have I ever personally dealt with depression or suicidal thoughts but give me the benefit of the doubt on this) but make a few lists:


    1) On one list put down all of the activities you're currently doing and determine how intrinsically important it is to you on a scale of 1 to 10. Next to that column/number evaluate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much happiness it gives you. The latter is going to be shaped in some way by your current situation but that is okay since it's about building self awareness on a different level.

    1a) Write out a list of your skills, talents, job experience, hobbies and interests. Very important, i'll come back to this point at a latter date should you follow some of what I've said.

    2) Make a list of different life areas that are important to you. Relationships (friends, family, romantic), professional (current job, dream job, skillset), Academics (aspirations, books you want to read), Hobbies (games etc), Finance (paying bills, building better credit, lowering monthly expenditures etc), physical upkeep (working out, domestic cleaning, hygiene) and whatever other categories that may be important to you like religion. Afterwards, write down things you could do to in that life area. For example let's say you put "Maintain good relationship with friend" on there as being important, write out a way in how you could do that, like say going out to lunch with him once a week.

    3) This is probably the most important part: Do something positive! Seriously, getting into positive activities is incredibly important for people who are dealing with difficult life circumstances. Give something positive back into the world, volunteer, donate blood/clothes, give a shelter animal a temporary home for a weekend, exercise, share your expertise (drawing in your case) by teaching a novice something about drawing technique, creativity or other realms in your field. It's very easy for one bad thought or one bad day to spin out of control and have precious brain space so go out and do something that makes you feel good.

    4) A followup to the last point; do something new. It's easy to get into a routine and not notice how you perpetuate a cycle of thoughts and/or actions. Break it by doing something new, it doesn't have to be big or substantial but you should try something new. When going back home go by a different route, try drawing in a style you don't like.

    Some of the reasoning behind these things will make themselves obvious to you once you start doing them. Once you're done with items 1-2 things should start to crystallize but come back and i'll tell you about the next steps after that.
  • Da StunnaDa Stunna A True Paradox Joined: Posts: 960
    Man, I'm done trying to socialize with people.

    Everyone I know is fake, wants to start dumbass arguments, or is simply not helpful. I think I'm better off alone with my thoughts. At least I know I can't harm someone else.
    T7FR - Steve, Law, Dragonuv
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  • highluluhighlulu Joined: Posts: 3,778
    Fake people are such a damn trap man. after my roommate died everyone i knew in my local FGC community reached out like they gave a fuck, talking like they cared about our friend that had passed and about how i was handling the trauma of seeing him dead on the floor... but that was literally the night after it happened, all of those fake ass people just went poof into thin air and not a one helped me with shit when i got evicted from the place we had lived in together. I literally got more help from my parents church friends than i did supposedly mutual friends of me and my deceased roommate.

    I think i spoke too early when i said i was OK with his passing as well, i'm pretty sure i just tried to mask my feelings by throwing myself into a relationship... which i knew at the time was a bad idea seeing as how it's with my deceased roommates girl... when i'm with her everything feels ok, almost to the point of forgetting how fucked my situation is currently. But she got sick recently and we spent some time apart and it was so clear as day that i had just filled the emotional hole with a big distraction to numb the pain. I have this fear that i'm just doing untold harm to her because she has to be having some of these same feelings, that or i'm just projecting my thoughts and feelings onto her... i don't fucking know.

    Anyways i should stop procrastinating at work and at least pretend like i'm doing something
    Umvc3 - (Nova/Frank/Dante) (Nova/Spencer/Strange) (Zero/Doom/Vergil)
    SF4 - Cammy, Ken
  • FrostyAUFrostyAU Lynx in your sinks Joined: Posts: 7,763
    You guys all still alive?
  • highluluhighlulu Joined: Posts: 3,778
    yep, got kicked out of the place with my parents friends... first i was planning on moving out apr 14th, then they had their grandkids ask to stay for spring break so they moved that date up to april 1st... then at 8am on the 30th they told me to be out by 8pm. Had a interesting few weeks of stressful house hunting on craigslist and am now over-paying for a tiny room that used to be a living room (they just built a wall to section it off). I have to share a light with the room next to me, the walls are paper thin and i can hear everything in the house. already a extremely stressful environment but i am just trying to focus on the good shit i have in the works for the future.

    it's probably too soon but i'm making plans to move in with my girl in 2 months or so
    Umvc3 - (Nova/Frank/Dante) (Nova/Spencer/Strange) (Zero/Doom/Vergil)
    SF4 - Cammy, Ken
  • DramatixDramatix Could be better. Joined: Posts: 4,486
    I'm meeting with my advisor tomorrow to change my major from Visual Arts to Mass Media and Communications while still choosing to minor in Creative Writing. A friend and my therapist really came down on me on making a plan for myself (and to be honest, I thought I did have one for myself). I've also been putting more time into studying so there's that.

    As for work, I don't think I'm going to be there much longer - my manager approached me about failing in receiving customer surveys and signing them up for store credits. Of course, I can mark the survey on their receipts, but that's not going to make them take them. I'm also not sure how to sign customers up for credit cards (to clarify, approach) since we're getting busier and the lines are getting longer, but managers don't care about that. Truthfully, after that discussion along with being stressed out about the bussiness, my register freezing up, and customers just being unpleasant and ignorant, I partially wanted to slash my own wrists with my box cutter right then and there (admitting that to my therapist made him inquire if I needed to be admitted to a hospital for a while, which I declined and deemed it a stupid question since I'm still in the middle of the semester). My other managers have been coming to me about other mistakes as well, but they're more "enlightening" than reprimanding.

    Other than that, I've been tired, spacing out and I also haven't been able to think clearly at all. I don't even think I'm going to pass this semester nor my belt exam next month. The only recent highlight I've experienced was acquiring first place at my last TKD competition, but that was only because I was the only one in my age division given the large turnout.
    "Everyone in here has had someone who tried to convince them that they were sexually harassed, and you did not believe them because they were not cute."
  • nikeSBstunna89nikeSBstunna89 WOLVES Joined: Posts: 1,471
    I'm a moody motherfucker. When I'm up i feel amazing but when when I'm down its really bad. I gotta get this shit together if I ever want to have a real connection with anybody.
  • highluluhighlulu Joined: Posts: 3,778
    god damnit... been watching 13 reasons why on netflix and it brought me right back to the morning i found my roommates body on the floor of his room

    the wound is like completely re-opened it feels like, at work today and not getting fuck all done.
    Umvc3 - (Nova/Frank/Dante) (Nova/Spencer/Strange) (Zero/Doom/Vergil)
    SF4 - Cammy, Ken
  • DarksakulDarksakul Your lack of faith disturbs me Joined: Posts: 21,967
    edited April 25
    Of course I am not okay, I am here.
    (Not to take away from folks with legit issues)
    highlulu wrote: »
    god damnit... been watching 13 reasons why on netflix and it brought me right back to the morning i found my roommates body on the floor of his room

    the wound is like completely re-opened it feels like, at work today and not getting fuck all done.

    That sucks, it always hurt to be reminded about stiff like that.
    "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance."
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