How do you deal with losing and feeling discouraged?

AjnaFXAjnaFX Joined: Posts: 20
Hey all,

Recently decided to start playing online in SFV. I've won a fair amount of matches as an online beginner, I'm proud that I have. I was not expecting to win my first match.

I lost my first mirror match, without warming up at all. For some reason thought it would be a good idea to go into a ranked match first thing in the morning. I was annoyed I didn't win and got tilted instantly.

Kept playing after, won 4 matches. Took a long break from playing after that day. Came back today for the first time in a while and won both matches.

Even though I've won half of my matches, I still feel really anxious when queuing for a match. Is it normal to get discouraged when first starting out online? how do you deal with it? Is losing a big deal?

I've felt crud ever since even though I'm winning games.

Thanks.

Comments

  • Evolution169Evolution169 Wake up DP is unbeatable Joined: Posts: 1,077
    edited December 2016
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    I was annoyed I didn't win and got tilted instantly.
    That's normal for a lot of people, but it's not healthy to have that attitude. You're gonna lose a ton if you keep playing the game, so if losing one match is hard on you, you're going to have a bad time.

    Accept your loses and use them as a learning experience whenever possible. If you get stuck in the mindset that you deserved to win because you did what you were supposed to and the opponent was playing stupid or using gimmicks, then you need to correct that and realize that you lost because of how YOU played. Laggy matches aside, if you lose, it's your fault. If you tell yourself this when you start to get annoyed or frustrated, and you believe it, you will ultimately be happier and a better player.

    Alternatively, you can always just whine about the game on a forum, or start a salty twitch stream and try to be the next DSP/LTG.
  • ArtVandelayArtVandelay Architect Joined: Posts: 5,572
    Without losing feeling shit, winning can't feel good.
    CFN: NaughtySenpai
  • OceanMachineOceanMachine ROCKET LAUNCHER GOD Joined: Posts: 9,868
    Losing happens. Even the top players don't always win.
    My only advice is: if you're losing several matches in a row, just take a break. Losing many matches puts you in a state where you think "I need to get my points back", but the pressure will actually make you play worse than usual and enter a spiral of defeat. You better start fresh a few hours or days later when you forgot all your previous losses and are ready to win again.
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  • KeckaKecka Psycho Crushing that booty Joined: Posts: 1,732
    Well, I had a meltdown a few months ago. My first real meltdown, as in "fuck everything, this is the fucking worst, I'm losing to people who can't even DP and I just want to throw my stick out the window". I just bitched here like a whiny child for a while, got some really solid pointers, and stopped. I guess it was part that I just needed to get it out of my system, part other shit that made me depressed.

    It all depends on your personality, but for me what really helped was to have someone look at my games and say what I should be practising. Even though I probably knew most of the shit I was doing wrong, it just helped to get some outside perspective and get out of my own head, where everything I did was shit and nothing worked. If nothing else, having one or two specific areas of improvement rather than "everything I do is worse than people better than me" was more constructive.
    I suck dicks at fighting games.

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  • AjnaFXAjnaFX Joined: Posts: 20
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    I was annoyed I didn't win and got tilted instantly.
    That's normal for a lot of people, but it's not healthy to have that attitude. You're gonna lose a ton if you keep playing the game, so if losing one match is hard on you, you're going to have a bad time.

    Accept your loses and use them as a learning experience whenever possible. If you get stuck in the mindset that you deserved to win because you did what you were supposed to and the opponent was playing stupid or using gimmicks, then you need to correct that and realize that you lost because of how YOU played. Laggy matches aside, if you lose, it's your fault. If you tell yourself this when you start to get annoyed or frustrated, and you believe it, you will ultimately be happier and a better player.

    Alternatively, you can always just whine about the game on a forum, or start a salty twitch stream and try to be the next DSP/LTG.

    Yeah those are really good points. I should've practiced before. If I did I would've had a better chance at winning. So that's a mistake learned from, always do training mode and vs CPU before online. For some reason, it's only the idea of losing mirrors that annoys me. It just feels like there is so much pressure on me to win.

    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    Thanks for all the replies by the way.
  • StoneDrumStoneDrum Joined: Posts: 1,096
    i never thought losing felt bad...Until I became good at a game. Anything before is just like the training room in The Matrix. But when you lose in a high skill match? salt.
  • bchan009bchan009 Joined: Posts: 780
    edited December 2016
    The problem is that people go into fighting games expecting to win.

    This is terribly unrealistic. Being new to fighting games and expecting to win any matches at all is like never having played football before and expecting to help your team win in the NFL.

    Sure there will be other beginners floating around, but you should just pretend they don't exist.

    If you go into there with the correct mindset (everyone and their dog is better than you), losing is not discouraging. It is expected. The sky is blue, Earth is round, and you will lose.

    Now that you expect to lose, every win is a triumph. Everything you do is working towards the goal of winning -- and when you DO get it, it is the greatest. It also gives you proper goalposts. Let's be honest -- beating up other beginners is pretty pointless if both of you will get wiped the minute a player from another tier swoops down on you. Aim high.

    So don't ever think "I lost, this is terrible." Think "holy shit I actually won a game! This is great!".

    This may sound defeatist, but honestly it's just curing people of the delusion that they should be winning just because they bought the game. People who put in more time win. People who have played longer than you will beat you unless you put in HARD WORK. That's how it is with fighting games and many other things in life.
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  • Evolution169Evolution169 Wake up DP is unbeatable Joined: Posts: 1,077
    edited December 2016
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    As bchan009 said, just turtle and run out the clock. Alternatively, if you have full meter you can kill them with chip damage from a super. Or you can frame trap or try to do an instant overhead(if your character has one).

    As for the other stuff, playing loads of matches is good, but also try to figure out what you need to work on and spend time in training mode whenever necessary. You'll also get better faster if you play against higher ranked players in battle lounge.
    Post edited by Evolution169 on
  • AjnaFXAjnaFX Joined: Posts: 20
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    As bchan009 said, just turtle and run out the clock. Alternatively, if you have full meter you can kill them with chip damage from a super. Or you can frame trap or try to do an instant overhead(if your character has one).

    As for the other stuff, playing loads of matches is good, but also try to figure out what you need to work on and spend time in training mode whenever necessary. You'll also get better faster if you play against higher ranked players in battle lounge.

    I just got done with someone in battle lounge. He mains Balrog and Guile which are horrible match ups for my character. I definitely feel myself improving. One thing I noticed is I kept falling for the same stupid sh*t, but I don't really know any alternatives or how to get a better ground game. I rely heavily on jump-ins which is dead easy to predict and counter. One thing I've learned is to jump in when they Hadouken or Sonic Boom. Also I have trouble getting pressured into the corner and not being able to escape.

    Another thing, can you explain what a frame trap is? I've never quite understood. I'm a complete beginner, kinda need coaching xD
  • Evolution169Evolution169 Wake up DP is unbeatable Joined: Posts: 1,077
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    As bchan009 said, just turtle and run out the clock. Alternatively, if you have full meter you can kill them with chip damage from a super. Or you can frame trap or try to do an instant overhead(if your character has one).

    As for the other stuff, playing loads of matches is good, but also try to figure out what you need to work on and spend time in training mode whenever necessary. You'll also get better faster if you play against higher ranked players in battle lounge.

    I just got done with someone in battle lounge. He mains Balrog and Guile which are horrible match ups for my character. I definitely feel myself improving. One thing I noticed is I kept falling for the same stupid sh*t, but I don't really know any alternatives or how to get a better ground game. I rely heavily on jump-ins which is dead easy to predict and counter. One thing I've learned is to jump in when they Hadouken or Sonic Boom. Also I have trouble getting pressured into the corner and not being able to escape.

    Another thing, can you explain what a frame trap is? I've never quite understood. I'm a complete beginner, kinda need coaching xD

    Without getting into frame data, a frame trap is when you do a normal that is safe on block and allows you to get out another normal before they can attack. Basically they think it's safe to throw an attack out, so they do that and get hit(counterhit) by your attack. But if they are anticipating the frame trap, they can throw out an invincible reversal or a normal that can beat it, like a jab. If you want to get more into how that works, then I would recommend learning about frame data.

    The corner is the worst place to be, but you gotta stay cool. Don't frantically try to jump out or anything. You can v-reversal to get them off of you, try to throw them into the corner, wait for them to do something that can be caught by an invincible reversal, etc..
  • bchan009bchan009 Joined: Posts: 780
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    As bchan009 said, just turtle and run out the clock. Alternatively, if you have full meter you can kill them with chip damage from a super. Or you can frame trap or try to do an instant overhead(if your character has one).

    As for the other stuff, playing loads of matches is good, but also try to figure out what you need to work on and spend time in training mode whenever necessary. You'll also get better faster if you play against higher ranked players in battle lounge.

    I just got done with someone in battle lounge. He mains Balrog and Guile which are horrible match ups for my character. I definitely feel myself improving. One thing I noticed is I kept falling for the same stupid sh*t, but I don't really know any alternatives or how to get a better ground game. I rely heavily on jump-ins which is dead easy to predict and counter. One thing I've learned is to jump in when they Hadouken or Sonic Boom. Also I have trouble getting pressured into the corner and not being able to escape.

    Another thing, can you explain what a frame trap is? I've never quite understood. I'm a complete beginner, kinda need coaching xD

    If you feel you jump in too much, then do the simplest thing: walk forward and block.

    People forget that this is one of the best things you can possibly do.

    Walk forward, block what comes. Take your time. No need to dash forward. Just walk.

    Your opponent may try to jump over you to escape to the other side. If you see it coming you can jump up also and air-to-air. You got 99 seconds. Take it nice and easy.
    Check out my work!

    MY WIP FIGHTING GAME

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    YOUTUBE | youtube.com/user/bchan009
    TWITTER | twitter.com/bchan009

  • AjnaFXAjnaFX Joined: Posts: 20
    bchan009 wrote: »
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    Something I need help with as an aside, what should you do when your opponent has 1% percent health and just turtles? I tried to poke and overhead but I got punished. That's something I need help with.

    So going forward, would it be a good idea to just play loads of matches and bite the bullet? Should I just grind casual matches and get used to it?

    As bchan009 said, just turtle and run out the clock. Alternatively, if you have full meter you can kill them with chip damage from a super. Or you can frame trap or try to do an instant overhead(if your character has one).

    As for the other stuff, playing loads of matches is good, but also try to figure out what you need to work on and spend time in training mode whenever necessary. You'll also get better faster if you play against higher ranked players in battle lounge.

    I just got done with someone in battle lounge. He mains Balrog and Guile which are horrible match ups for my character. I definitely feel myself improving. One thing I noticed is I kept falling for the same stupid sh*t, but I don't really know any alternatives or how to get a better ground game. I rely heavily on jump-ins which is dead easy to predict and counter. One thing I've learned is to jump in when they Hadouken or Sonic Boom. Also I have trouble getting pressured into the corner and not being able to escape.

    Another thing, can you explain what a frame trap is? I've never quite understood. I'm a complete beginner, kinda need coaching xD

    If you feel you jump in too much, then do the simplest thing: walk forward and block.

    People forget that this is one of the best things you can possibly do.

    Walk forward, block what comes. Take your time. No need to dash forward. Just walk.

    Your opponent may try to jump over you to escape to the other side. If you see it coming you can jump up also and air-to-air. You got 99 seconds. Take it nice and easy.

    Cool, I just need to work on mix ups and try to be more deceptive. Would appreciate it if you guys had a few matches with me in the lounge and help me improve directly. Thanks again.
  • OmegamarthOmegamarth Joined: Posts: 89
    My philosophy when I got started was, if you're losing, and losing hope, keep playing. It builds mental toughness to suffer through the losses. My rule is: Do not stop playing until you've won enough. How much is enough? Depends on how good you are. If you lose every game, one is enough. If you normally do pretty well, but go on tilt, going on a 5+ win streak (in SFV, I'd consider 2 out of 3 matches a win) is enough. If you lots 500+ ranking points, getting back to where you started is enough. If you have to take a break, only do so for eating and using the bathroom, as not doing both will make you play worse.

    Protips. Don't play right after getting up. Don't play on an empty stomach (Or through lunch time. Make sure you eat, or you will end up losing more). Don't play under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
    AjnaFX wrote: »
    I was annoyed I didn't win and got tilted instantly.
    That's normal for a lot of people, but it's not healthy to have that attitude. You're gonna lose a ton if you keep playing the game, so if losing one match is hard on you, you're going to have a bad time.

    Accept your loses and use them as a learning experience whenever possible. If you get stuck in the mindset that you deserved to win because you did what you were supposed to and the opponent was playing stupid or using gimmicks, then you need to correct that and realize that you lost because of how YOU played. Laggy matches aside, if you lose, it's your fault. If you tell yourself this when you start to get annoyed or frustrated, and you believe it, you will ultimately be happier and a better player.

    Alternatively, you can always just whine about the game on a forum, or start a salty twitch stream and try to be the next DSP/LTG.

    I'm going to disagree. Accepting the loss and using them as a learning experience isn't enough. Losing should be a personal affront to a player. A player should hate losing with every ounce of their soul. Some players are overwhelmed by this, and give up. What they have to remind themselves is that if you really want to get good at something, giving up is the ultimate form of losing.
  • ArtVandelayArtVandelay Architect Joined: Posts: 5,572
    I usually tell myself that I'm shit and I need to get better.
    When I'm really mad my reflexes suffer big time and I can't think straight switching between extreme static defense and super obvious offense, getting even saltier every loss after that.

    That's when I stand up, go for a walk or watch some midget porn.
    CFN: NaughtySenpai
  • FrozteyFroztey Break the Cuffs Joined: Posts: 9,709 mod
    Stop caring about the wins/losses and play for the excitement of the match. Ask yourself who gives a fuck if you lose, nothing is at stake.

    Dick around, online is what it is - a giant training sandbox
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  • LosLos Joined: Posts: 817
    IglooBob wrote: »
    use every game (not just losses, wins also) as feedback for yourself. picture yourself as a player, and think of all the different aspects of your gameplay that go into making the full version of yourself as a player, and rate yourself in each aspect.

    how good are your punishes? do you max punish mistakes every time?
    how good is your defense? how good are you at escaping disadvantaged situations quickly and with minimal damage taken?
    how good is your neutral? are you playing as cheap as you can? do you feel confident you know this matchup, what your path to victory is, and how to tilt the risk vs reward of interactions in your favor?
    and so on for every category you can think of

    when you think of your experience with fighting games in this way, it becomes an exercise in self-improvement, rather than an ego-driven comparison with other players. in a way, your opponent is not really the players you beat or lose to. your opponent is yourself and your own shortcomings, and other players are external challenges to test yourself against.

    take the emotion out of it. your job as someone who wants to improve is to learn as much as possible about the game and the matchups for your character, build gameplans from that, execute them, then reflect on how well you did and what you need to work on.

    for a few years I had the wrong mentality when playing online. I'd care really deeply about winning every game, and get annoyed when I lost, especially to people who I thought were gimmicky or lag-abusing, or whatever the reason was. when you stop thinking of other players as "guys I really want to beat to prove that I'm strong" and start thinking of them as "opportunities to test myself against" you end up in a healthier place IMO.

    This is actually golden quality post. Tip my hat to you, sir
  • brainfraudbrainfraud Joined: Posts: 255
    I have experienced the whole feeling discouraged thing, first of all I put the game down for a long time. I played probably 150 matches in ranked, initially I felt good but eventually I hit a road block and I was in a bad place so I just stopped playing online.

    I still suck but recently felt more comfortable playing online again and I think its partially because of my outlook. I don't care if I win, at the moment I know I'm bad and I want to get better. I'm looking at these loses differently, its for practice.

    In fact in my matches I focusing on doing particular things, I also don't try hard to win the match at all costs. Instead I focus on anti airs or uppercuts and if I lose so be it for now. I've realized this isn't a race, most of the people I see on Twitch/Reddit/Youtube have been playing fighting games most of their life.

    Basically just makes goals for yourself but small goals, don't go into every match saying "My goal is to win!" your goal should be to get better by small amounts practice things in match and don't worry about winning every round.

  • Evolution169Evolution169 Wake up DP is unbeatable Joined: Posts: 1,077
    Omegamarth wrote: »
    I'm going to disagree. Accepting the loss and using them as a learning experience isn't enough. Losing should be a personal affront to a player. A player should hate losing with every ounce of their soul. Some players are overwhelmed by this, and give up. What they have to remind themselves is that if you really want to get good at something, giving up is the ultimate form of losing.

    Hey, it's whatever works for you. I personally don't hate losing with every ounce of my soul.
  • Gabri3l_WHOAGabri3l_WHOA Heat Extend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Joined: Posts: 2,392
    Lose so much that you stop keeping track of them. I still get upset if I lose at tournaments but I play so much online that all the loses and wins sort of blur together.
    MochaLatte wrote: »
    Froztey wrote: »
    Sorry guys let me just rephrase that question

    I'm looking for advice from good players

    You're looking in the wrong place then
  • Six18Six18 Joined: Posts: 26
    edited September 25
    -
    Post edited by Six18 on
  • JasonWalravenJasonWalraven Joined: Posts: 539
    If you are winning half your matches as a beginner, you are not playing good enough people and are developing bad habits that will hold you back in the long run. Fight better people.
  • The_Phantom_80The_Phantom_80 Joined: Posts: 3
    So, I am speaking from my MKX experience. I am not really sure of your commitment level, but you could always record & watch your matches. I actually take much more away from a loss than I do from a win, so in a way, losing is a big deal. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but you can see the situations your opponent put you in, and maybe formulate strategies to put yourself in better positions in that matchup in the future! :)
  • ProfProf Fresh Joined: Posts: 2,029
    I do not feel discouraged by losing. I learned to get where I am in these games by losing. Apply your current aptitude and understanding to someone of greater skill, and you will lose. The key is not to think of losing as the end of the chain or the end of a process, but as a part of that process where you take your current output and measure it against your opposition and analyze the difference. You do not have to lose to learn, but you should always learn when you lose.
  • LarsMastersLarsMasters Joined: Posts: 126
    Honored Battle for fun is all matters to me, winning or not no matter what i try through hard works to win.

    If someone truly discourage/disgrace the honor code of gamer, i pray that someone who has very pure and strong code of honor can end the dishonored gamers soon
    I'm just a gamer/troper whose just passing by. The answers lies in the Heart of Battle.
  • AkibanaZeroAkibanaZero @AkibanaZero Joined: Posts: 400
    A good friend and sparring partner put win ratios into perspective for me by simply stating that even the highest level players have give or take maybe 60% win rate (hard to tell really so the number is just speculative). Sure a high level player can have a nearly 100% win rate against a noob but when playing at their own level it's different. They back and forth in a lot of sessions. With that in mind here are some key questions we can ask ourselves when we lose:

    -What were my goals for the match?
    -Did I work on those goals enough and have I gotten closer to reaching them?
    -What were 2-3 most memorable things that contributed to my loss? How can I deal with them in the future?
    -Has working on the goals I set out help improve my chances of winning at the level I am now?

    There are plenty more questions we can ask yourselves but these are quite baseline to start off with to make winning a less important factor. It's also quite important to know what our shortcomings as people are when we play games. I fall into auto-pilot mode very easily so I've been trying to start off my play sessions (regardless of game) making it clear that I will allow myself to auto-pilot purely on the first few matches. Win or lose I'm going to focus on getting the auto-pilot fix my brain craves. Then I take a look at what I've noted down that I wanna work on and I do my best to focus on the goals I've set.
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  • fohstickfohstick Joined: Posts: 339
    Accept that you're shit at this game, and focus on learning from your mistakes. You will lose frequently but every loss is a learning experience to not repeat your mistakes
  • FDreamFDream Joined: Posts: 933
    Throw my stick across the room.
    Refuse to say gg.
    Refuse to shake hands.

    Silly when i say this now but when salt strikes.
  • danielcurrydanielcurry Joined: Posts: 19
    I'm nearly 40, been playing sf since day 1. still lose to dumb shit and my kids. love it tho
  • itzpookiieitzpookiie Sherry Jenix's Soulmate Joined: Posts: 4,192
    Fap
  • TKRTKR Inventor of Toe Socks Joined: Posts: 212
    +1 to recording footage. Won't help you stop being discouraged, but it will help you improve. Leading to more wins.

    With regards to being discouraged. Just don't be discouraged. There really isn't any trick to actually. That's what it feels like. The highly competitive nature of the games means you will just have to deal with these feelings. You say you feel it when you are getting ready to play the game, that's your competitive nature trying to come out. Unleash the beast.

    Loosing doesn't matter. It may effect the level of player you get put up against. Which is a good thing. But you will start winning more in the long run. The only time you have to worry about loosing is during a tournament. When there is something on the line.
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