this is a story, chronicling the rise and fall of srk’s very own kyokugen, who recently got out of prison for disrespecting an officer in the worst way.
Our sordid tale begins one peaceful day, kyokugen and his brother-in-law, lets call him robert. Alright, so kyokugen and robert are driving on the road. The road of freedom, where dreams are made and hope springs eternal.
Fast forward to whenever the fuck the cop pulled them over.
The cop, lets call him mr.big for the time being. yes. the cop, surly and wild, approaches the two men.
“where you niggers headed to?”, he asks.
“me and my brother-in-law were off to the local orchard to pick apples as a gift for the local orphanage. they do so love apples in the fall, wouldnt you agree officer?”.
The officer, drunk under his own power utters those graven words. “license, now, gimme”. Kyokugen is a man of principles and gives mr.big the drivers license.
"…and the other one", he signaled toward robert.
Now, kyokugen and robert were mighty suspicious of the officers actions. They werent speeding, they had used their turn signal, and whatever drugs they had were long gone. The cop returns. “now boy, see here, it seems youre driving on a suspended license”. Kyokugen was surprised, “no Im not! I gave up my license or something!”.
“your reasons are pretty convoluted!”, exclaimed the officer. “get out of the car, both y’all!”
Being men of principles, kyokugen and robert complied. “now…turn around”, the cop said in a smooth voice, the crumbs from his doughnut gently peppered along his shirt. “yo, we didnt do nothin!”, shouted robert. Mr.big didnt pay attention, the two patriots nearly flipped when they heard the sound of the policeman unzipping his pants. “I might look the other way if you niggers let me have my fun”, kyokugen and robert peeked over their shoulder to see that the cop had whipped his pudgy little cock out. “gon’ make this nice and slooow”, the officer said as he advanced toward kyokugen. Before the officer had time to strike robert had decided that he could make a run for it, robert may be a man of principles, but he wasnt in the mood to get his gutters cleaned by some pig cop. Robert ran, the cop lunged for him. Kyokugen, a man of self sacrifice abruptly grabbed the officers baton, holding it firmly, never releasing his iron grip. The officer struggled to get away, but it was too late. Robert was gone and kyokugen breathed a sigh of relief. “damn you! I was going to make that scrawnly little bitch into the perfect bride!”, he said while stomping his hat. He clobbered kyokugen across the face, knocking him out cold.
Times were hard for kyokugen. When he awoke he discovered that he had been transferred to a holding pen. His anus was burned, poked and scorned something fierce, “that cop must have stuffed my stocking while I was out! such and act I will not tolerate!”, he thought. He went to jail for 3 years for resisting an officer. But now he is out, and looking for the oinker that sweeped his chimney.
This isnt the end of his story, oh no, his story will live on…forever