Almost lost my dick humping a metal bench


#1

True story.

]


Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.
[/spoiler

Spoiler

Still don’t see how dude in the video could make those assumptions, though. Guess everyone who does things extremely out of the ordinary doesn’t seem to have friends. :coffee: Though the whole “getting a girlfriend” option is getting old.

[spoiler=Video.]
[media=youtube]r9Mwofg8FkM[/media]


#2

Should’ve thought of his mom naked or something.


#3

This thread brought to you by one tab on SRK, and the other on weirdnewsstory.com looking at articles thinking, “hmmm… this looks like something SRK GD would like… naw, wait MAYBE THIS!”


#4

But those holes are so small, even for an asian that’s really sad.


#5

The first time I read the title, I saw,“Almost lost my dick humping a metal bitch” and clicked. I was hoping to see some bastard with his shit stuck up the ass of a statue, but no. :frowning:

-Starhammer-


#6

Well, do you have anything better than to post?


#7

pretty sure i’ve heard this one before

looking at the article now i’m very sure i’ve heard this one before, seeing as how it’s from 2008…


#8

I’ve heard about that too, but I wasn’t sure.


#9

Nope, and by not forcing it I’m doing everyone a favor. You ask if I have “anything better” as if there’s some quota to be met.


#10

I don’t know, I took it as you wanting me to post something worthwhile, but whatever.


#11

Why do people feel the need to make threads out of dumb stories???


#12

Because I can? Eventually someone will close it, and no one’s forcing you to come here and put in your two cents, so deal with it?


#13

wtf?! whenever i panic or freak out i tend to lose my erection. this would be one of those situations… he should’ve been able to slip out afterward


#14

Somewhere, out there, Magnetix is imagining his life as a metal bench.

Sent from my thumbs, using SRK technology.


#15

another quality dramatix thread :coffee:


#16

INB4LOCK


#17

Damn if you thought this nigga was forever alone before this…well now…


#18

Standards these days, guy couldn’t even find the time to hook up with some ikea furniture or something. Those klingsbo coffee tables are sexy as hell…


#19

Don’t you just love it? :smiley:


#20

i don’t understand. he’s small enough to fit in a bench hole while flaccid (the holes in the lunch tables at my high school weren’t too big, anyways), he’s big enough to get stuck while erect, and he’s apparently big enough to stay stuck. i assume his arousal vanishes when he realizes he can’t get out. am i missing something about penile-functionality?
i think someone just wanted attention.