Awkward social scenario numero uno


#1

So let’s say that you go to you friends house to play some street fighter. Suddenly your friend realizes the he left his party bag at his suppliers house so he is gonna have to step outside for a few to pick some beers up.

You are now introduced to " Thor " his rescued dog he got a few months back instead of having kids. Thor is a friendly mutt who is large, very large. You friends leaves and it’s you now you and the dog.

Then suddenly Thor begins to furiously hump you. Not just your leg, you. Thor is intent in humping you. This dog is so large that he sets his paws on your shoulders. When you eye the basterd in the eye he let’s you know he means business. You see his large set of jaws and smell his terrible dog breath.

What do you do?

You can A: Fight the dog off at the risk of injuring both yourself and the dogy. Dog be damned. Nobody humps this guy. Nobody.

Or B: Let it do it’s thing and quickly clean your pants up before your friend returns. You figure that if you just allow things to happen you can both save face, and save your face from being bitten off if you just calm down.

Now remember that people that choose be have to be ready to deal with either a bitten face of an injured dog from a friend. If you are a dog whisperer please provide specific method to dealing with the dog.


#2

Say no, bad dog. If he doesn’t, stand up. If he’s still trying to hump, shove him away. If he attacks, then its on, and that dog is DONE. He will not be humping my leg anymore.


#3
  1. Dont stare large dogs directly in the eyes.

  2. Put the dog in another room and shut the door. Get him to follow you.


#4

Tonight…you.


#5

But doesn’t that express submission? That seems like a bad idea when one it’s trying to spray you with love potion number 5.


#6

its not trying to spray love juice on you its just trying to dominate you.

and yes, not staring back is submission. don’t submit to it, dominate that bitch back. hump it back if you have to. unless its a pit bull. then you’re fucked. roll over and expose your tummy, and hope it won’t maul you to death


#7

This is why I always look directly at the eye of every animal I encounter. They need to know, I know. I even stare down birds. Birds don’t be coming back if you look at them like you want to eat them.


#8

My parents had two dogs, both females. One was older and would try to hump the other, anyone else have this happen?


#9

yeah my female dog used to hump everything, so i just flip it over on its back every time it tries to dominate shit. now it will occasionally hump her bed on the down low when i’m not looking, but when i catch her i just glare and she stops


#10

Cool, I thought I was the only one. It was funny as hell to watch because the younger one exposes her stomach and her hind legs are always open, then the older one would try to hump it but just hump air.


#11

squeeze it’s balls, I heard that works :coffee: