Behold My Mighty Hand!: The VS Series Story Thread


#1

What series is more important than the VS series of fighting games? … None, bitch! And how come there’s no thread dedicated to the tale weaved by this legendary saga? I’ve come to correct this shit. Let’s begin with the official VS SERIES TIMELINE.

1996
(X-Men VS Street Fighter)

Apocalypse starts shit. A bunch of X-Men and Street Fighters make shit back.

-Cyclops & Ryu are shown in the intro being butt buddies. For some reason, they totally hang out with eachother and shit.

Cyclops: YO, RYU!!!

Ryu: DUDE!!! SERIOUSLY!!! HIGH FIVE!!!

Cyclops: WORD THAT SHIT ON THE SOUTH SIDE!!!

They have friendship bracelets, too.

-Akuma has become Wolverine’s stalker, for some reason. He even knows the truth about Wolverine’s identity, but doesn’t reveal it because he wants to get RUSHED THE FUCK DOWN first. In reality, Akuma learned that Wolverine was really James Howlett from his first girlfriend Rose, whom he got head from in Hell (which is where Akuma also met Blackheart, but he thinks he and his dad Mephisto are dickheads).

-Cammy got owned, but Psylocke’s lucious, yellow Japanese breasts saved her and she became British.

-Magneto stopped trying to fuck up humans, and he’s pretty much cool with everybody and shit. But for some reason, M. Bison steps to his shit; Magneto peaces his fat ass out.

1997
(Marvel Super Heroes VS Street Fighter)

Pretty much the same thing happens, only this time Akuma became a robot and has Apocalypse on a leash like the bitch he is.

-Wolverine still doesn’t know who he is, because Akuma is an asshole.

-Dhalsim and Shuma-Gorath become best friends.

Dhalsim: Shuma, you want some of my wife’s curry?

Sally: It’s great! Sim dips his left hand in it all the time! :slight_smile:

Shuma: This is the shit, yo. Good lookin’ out. When I rule the world…I’m gonna eat you LAST.

Dhalsim: Word!

-Chun-Li is an asshole and locks up all the Marvel Super Heroes and a bunch of Street Fighters too. She’s nothing but a Chinese Narc.

-M. Bison kidnaps Charlie, who becomes Shadow, AKA, Black Charlie. He also has Nikes, and plays a lot of basketball.

1998
(Marvel VS Capcom)

Onslaught starts fucking up New York City, so the heroes of Capcom, including some OGs, step in to save the Marvel U.

-Morrigan is a whore and gets eaten out by Gambit AND Lilith.

-M. Bison also kidnaps Chun-Li, who becomes Shadow Lady, AKA, Black Chun. But those big ass thighs make me think she was never Chinese in the first place…

-Akuma is tired of getting rushed down by Wolvie, so he goes into Witness Protection while Ryu jacks his moves (and Ken’s) wholesale.

-Roll kills Onslaught. The End!

1999
(SNK vs Capcom: Match of the Millenium)

I don’t remember what happens in this game’s story. All I know is that B.B. Hood asks Yuri to teach her Sakazaki karate. And that’s cool.

2000
(Marvel VS Capcom 2)

Ruby Heart and Cable invite the heroes to their magic flying ship in search of treasure and shit.

Ruby Heart: HEY! We found some treasure! You guys want to share some?

Cable: Yeah, we found like…a billion dollars.

The Other 54 Fighters: WORD?!

But, once they get there, Abyss pops out like an asshole and ruins shit.

-Magneto, Storm, Sentinel, and Cable form the Big Four, and have a wild orgy on deck.

(Capcom VS SNK: Millennium Fight 2000)

After the Big Four’s wild orgy, the Capcom fighters decided to never, ever hang out with those Marvel fuckers again. Just in time, too: Geese Howard and Ken Masters’ corporations decided to sponsor a giant tourney.

-Balrog and Nakoruru join forces in a romance that extends beyond time and space, fucking up everyone in their way.

-Mai cosplays as Chun. The experience later has an effect on the Chinese Narc, as she later becomes a lesbian.

2001
(Capcom VS SNK 2: Millionaire Fighting 2001)

After Joe and Dan kick everyone’s asses, Ken decides that he needs a new partner. Enter Robert Garcia, the rich white pimp.

Ken: Yo, Rob.

Robert: How’s the pimp game goin?

Ken: All chill, bro. Hey, listen…we’re rich as fuck. Why don’t we have another CvS tourney?

Robert: I’m feeling ya. Hey, why don’t we invite some samurais and shit? We can use our massive fortunes to go buy a time machine.

Ken: For real?

-After training for years, Sagat has developed his crouching fierce. We do not need to talk about crouching fierce here.

-Blanka fucking RC Blanka Balls everybody.

-Akuma and Rugal kick eachother’s asses, and one of them gets a super form. Akuma just becomes BRAND NEW while Rugal becomes JESUS.

2003
(SvC Chaos: SNK VS Capcom)

The KOFers and the SFers travel into the muddy brown city of Zion, and fend off against Sents and shit. Meanwhile, Mr. Karate and Akuma become assholes and lord over everybody.

-Chun-Li becomes a lesbian, and tries to eat out both Shiki AND Kasumi.

-Mai is a drunken whore. End of story.

-Bao the Harry Potter Fagmort hides in Hugo’s pubes.

-In the end, we meet GOD Himself. And Dan becomes His sensei.

2004-5?
(Sammy VS Capcom)

Who knows? All I know is, it’ll probably have Ryu and Chun.

(Marvel VS EA)

Magneto/Kobe Bryant/Gandalf!!!


#2

with John Madden as the final boss.

don’t forgot Shaq’s super were he summons the wrath of Nestle Crunch upon his enemies.


#3

LMAO! Seriously, I laughed the entire time during each Vs. series storylines. And for that, I give you props.


#4

You forgot to mention Dan discovering that Akuma is his father in MSH vs SF.


#5

Bowling Pin u need a hobby lol!