Down With Panties: The SRK Stripper Thread


#1

MAY BE NSFW

So yeah, had a damn good stripper adventure. For you sad Yanks that only get to see boobs, Canadian 'rippers are full nude. No cankles and tits and calves and shafts only. We get the whole package.

Anywho, the meat and bones:

What makes a good strip club experience in your eyes? What about what makes a good dancer? Any memorable nights? Will Ronin finally grace us with some quality stories? How much did I drink tonight?

For the record…Halloween is a great timeframe to see naked people. I also got my first lap dance from a black chick. I’m pretty sure I demanded it, but whatever. Made her bust on my leg with titty play. She tried to con me into a second dance by putting my dick in her mouth. Very cunning, that one. Pretty sure she stole a brand new pack of smokes off me.

For the record, black rippers are top tier

Followed by white chicks with quality tattoos, then whatever else is left.

Asian rippers are low tier because they secretly wish you were black. Unless u are black in which case they are a quality 3rd tier

Also I once fucked a stripper who came on stage wearing a suit of armour while juggling flaming torches

She was Shin Vanilla Sagat tier

I drank a lot tonight. And I work in 6 hours. Fantastic.


SRK Lounge for the TRUE SRK Gentlemen
Hatin' from experience, the LouisianA Thread Live by our rep
#2

haha, in the US there are topless and full nude clubs. When I was in Vegas interning at the last ski and snowboard trade show, the company I was with treated prospective shop buyers at this one particular all nude club. I had a lap dance with a chick that had a full back piece with angel wings and shit. Her ass was nice minus and the huge gaping a-hole. I was wasted and tried to convince her back to my hotel room via make believe “guest passes”, didn’t work.


#3

Vegas doesn’t count. Even God probably looks the other way in Vegas


#4

Ok, well Denver Colorado has some as well, though I’ve been broke the whole time so I can’t tell you what they are like, but the ones in Texas and Minnesota that I’ve been too also had all nude and the women were bat shit crazy.


#5

"fucked a stripper wearing armor and juggling torches "

Sounds legit


#6

I find Strip Clubs to be very relaxing. I like the club to be a little low key, no scum bag or potential serial killers in attendance, and some attractive ladies (at least B tier :wink: ) and I’m set.

Never been to a full nude bar but I’d like to check out Vegas sometime maybe in 2012 perhaps to coincide with Evo.

There’s a local club I’ve gone to a few times. It seems to work out best if I go on a quiet day like Monday or Wednesday or something. Because most of the clientele are rednecks and some of the girls are very white trash on Friday/Saturday. Plus they charge $16 for a J&B Scotch on the Rocks.

I’ve gone to a little club off 42nd st in Manhattan and it was alright. Not many customers but it was funny. There was a procession of girls waiting to sit and chat and pretend to listen and get that $20 for a lapdance. Literally after one finishes the lapdance another one comes right up to you. Maybe I came in at a time with fewer people but I thought it was funny. There was one chick there that reminded me of Snooki and I was trying to give the hint that I didn’t want a lapdance but she just kept on talking and asking to give me a lapdance.

*I remember reading a Vice Article that black strippers are the easiest to fuck if you offer them Pot.


#7

I agree with bbq some of the strip joints i went up to in dallas when i was living in that area all the girls were crazy they were up for crazy shit. Plus they were all nude clubs aswell, out of all the times i went i would say my first time was the best. One of things i liked was that mostly all the dancers were chicks in their ealry 20’s mid 20’s working there to pay for college. Like i said my best memory that at least i remember was my first time hitting a strip joint. My friends told one of the dancers it was my first time at one so they talked her into giving me a private lap dance for half off they ran for 40 at first she didnt want to but my friends convinced her.

She was meh at first dancing to some limp bizkit i remember the song playing haha she only took her off at first. I tried taking her thong off pulling down gently she was against it first. Giving me no no’s an what not i was eh w/e after i tought my time was up i was getting up to leave. She sat me back down telling me how she wasn’t done she was just getting started. This where the whole lap dance turned around some hip hop started playing and she finally let me take off her thong she sarted doing some grinding on my leg popping her ass bending over showing me all her shit even to letting me touch . It was complete turned around after being in there for like three songs she started dry humping my junk grabbing it. i guess the whole being my first time at a strip joint helped out i was in the private lap dance section for about 25 minutes my friends were shocked and tought i had bailled with chick. I didnt manage to convince her to go back to my place. I enjoyed the night 20 bucks for a 25 min private lap dance was good there was more to the night but the part was the most memorable.

After that i never managed to pull that off again i just stuck to the regular lap dances haha xD!


#8

Why would he look the other way?:wink:


#9

Rogue. No, seriously, freakin’ ROGUE from the X-men greeted my friend and I at a club one night. She just could not understand why we were laughing so hard, but she had everything PERFECT to cosplay as Rogue… if Rogue had swapped wardrobes with Emma Frost. She had the red hair with blonde bangs, green eyes and tits like the aft gunwales of a naval destroyer. She was fun, had no clue who Rogue even was, but she kinda remembered from what she knew about X-men (this was long, LONG before the movies, kids).

I don’t remember if I sucked on her titties or not, but probably not, cause she had daughters a bit younger than us. That and the whole comic book thing kinda gave it a bit of a motherly experience. Felt weird but exciting at the time. She looked JUST. like. Rogue. If phones had been better back then, we’d probably have pics.

That was a fun night. More stories to come. :tup:


#10

We have a full nude-full alcohol club here and it’s pretty nice. Midwestern clubs tend to do that annoying tip walk, but I suppose those girls have to earn their college money somehow if they’re not getting private dance requests…


#11

…I didn’t say she was pretty

And rogue story made me lol


#12

I dunno about you Sir, but I’m thinking of all these women as the monsters that pimps are afraid to smack with a cane.

Moar stories please.


#13

i’ve never been to a strip club…unbelievably…but any guy can bang any stripper…as long as he has 1k in cash to show her right then and there.
don’t even bother asking a girl to go back to your place or hotel room if you don’t. every chick thinks all u have is ones and twenties.
if you show benjamins, lots of em…her ass is yours. bareback.
yeah, i know you can get ass for less than 1k…but if you really really wanna get laid, that night, with said stripper. 1k won’t deny you your chance. 100% sure thing you’ll get it.
so don’t even bother askin a girl to leave with you if you don’t give/show her a undeniable reason to leave with you.


#14

Good to know.

How about you don’t fuck the strippers.


#15

I went to my first strip club a few months ago with some friends for a friend’s birthday.

I hate strip clubs.

I’ve never felt so used and toyed with… in my entire life… and I had the worst blue balls ever…

Thank Based God for friends’ slutty friends. :rolleyes:


#16

This is why I don’t do strip clubs. I’ve been to one strip club, and a couple of private parties with strippers, and I’ll never do it again. Why the hell would I pay somebody to tease me? The only exception is if I’ve got a girl at home waiting on me so I know I can get my rocks off later, but of course even that isn’t guaranteed, but going to a strip club without a chick at home, or while on vacation? Never.


#17

RI has full nude strip clubs too. And yeah, usually when I go it’s just to have a few beers(expensive, yes) and just to see some titties. Maybe a tip here and there but I usually don’t try to get a dance. Like others have said, I feel so fake at the clubs because the girls act so friendly you gotta act all friendly and shit too. I wouldn’t fuck a stripper though. I know people who have done it… raw. Like wow.

Here’s a story. My bro had a hot blonde co-worker. She turns out to be a stripper. She turns out to be an old high school classmate. Awesome? Yes. She’d do private parties for us. We go to the strip joint she showed us mad love and her stripper friends too. 1st private party was crazy as fuck, everyone did like everything to her. 2nd one, my other bro invited his friend who we barely know. I guess he was a “knight in shining armor” faggot fuck. His turn for his little private dance, he gives her a pep talk and shit. She comes out crying, she’s not a stripper any more.

Yeah… fuck that dude.


#18

You beat his ass for doing that?


#19

Soviet get a video blog and record your adventures.


#20

That guy has a fucking Ph.D in cock blocking.