Updating this as I go just for kicks
Street Fighter II has never been at it’s finest! With the iteration of the SSFT2HDR, players from around the world can experience this timeless classic! Thats not to say much hasnt changed. With new players, come new rules/tips/strategies, so lets get to it!
Always let your opponent know how cheap he is.
One thing to learn about STHD is that anything that can cause damage to you, break your blocking, or otherwise prevent the match from going your way is cheap. [media=youtube]M5-q-sXACtA[/media] Under no circumstances are you to ever “dishonorably” lose a match to anyone, regardless of your/their amount of skill. The proper way to play the game is to show your opponent how many cool and flashy combos you are able to pull off, which are far better than the simple yet effective tactics you will end up falling for while performing the “cool and honorable” moves. Remember, even if it’s chip damage, It’s cheap!
*Messages like these affirm that you are a better player, despite throwing the match seconds earlier. The more you rage, the bigger the chance your opponent will repent for the sin of beating you, and commit suidice.
The only way to play is for the opponent to never do anything to keep you from winning, nothing short of buying a microphone and announcing every single button they plan on pushing in advance and waiting 3 seconds to perform the action. But hell, even if they do that, it’s still cheap.
Akuma is the only person in the game.**
This goes without saying. Akuma has real cool and flashy combos and juggles, an air fireball, and a very good “hurricane kick” and “dragon punch”. Since most, if not all characters are at a disadvantage when fighting against Akuma, you should pick him as picking Akuma gives you an impenetrable shield from losing. if you pick Akuma, you are GUARAN-DAMN-TEED a 99% chance of winning.
This man is your NIGGA.
Being that Akuma is so awesome and is the only character worh playing, if in any situation you lose, it is never your fault. it is the players fault for breaking that shield with his +4 Spear Of Dishonorable Play or his +7 Sword Of Cheap Tactics, though you know they are not allowed to work. Ever. Why? You picked Akuma. Fuck that shit. If you start to lose with Akuma, be sure to ragequit ASAP. Don’t give your opponent the satisfaction of beating a broken character, you don’t want him feeling good about it. After ragequitting, while he’s practicing his skills, go beat off to some Cammy hentai. You’ve deserved it for being honorable.
Master the art of ragequitting.**
There is no greater honor than being a ragequitter. Ragequitting is an art form that must be perfected. Ragequitting, in some societies, is much better than being a winner or or being a good sport. Ragequitting shows your antagonist that you will not lie down and take his shit. Fuck that. You stop his game, you reatin your honor, and he’ll soil his pants in shame. The following things are acceptable ragequit enablers.
-Getting beaten so bad that the stage music speeds up when there’s 90 seconds left on the clock.
-Getting tick thrown 3 times in a row.
-Opponent does the same maneuver 4-6 times in one round, and you fall for it each time.
-Getting tick thrown twice in a row.
-Opponent picks Sagat, or anyone you dont know how to fight against.
-You die by a super.
-Zangief SPD’s you repeatedly.
-You try to win the match by letting the time run out, only to see that your opponent still had more health than you.
-Get tick thrown.
-Point blank super.
-Chip damage death
-Getting thrown. Point blank after walking up.
-Opponenet never does crazy combos or uses his entire moveset.
-Perfects you while you are dizzy.
-Perfects you while you ARENT dizzy.
-Getting beaten by, yes, another Akuma.
The list can go on. By memorizing and reciting this song constantly, you can ragequit like a pro.
To ragequit, one must do this. After experiencing any of the enablers, your index finger must immediately go for the start button, then with the utmost swiftness, use your thumbs to the Quit Match option, then hit yes. A good ragequit takes no longer than .7 seconds. If the game disallows you to ragequit, just turn off/kick the game console. Take the 5-6 minutes it takes to start the console and match up to congratulate yourself on a job well done, then be prepared to do so again soon.
[media=youtube]1ue-TqPX9Tc[/media]. Notice how the cheap-ass scrubby Ken tauntes the honorable and skillful Makoto(That point blank super was cheap and was all Capcoms fault). And then he taunts. No. No way. Not ever. RAGEQUIT THAT SHIT. Did he get his win? Hell no. He must feel bad.
This man is preparing to ragequit. Look how he has his thumb ready to select Quit Game, his wrist is primed for quick Start Menu movement, and his fist is clenched in complete rage. He’s getting laid tonight. By Cammy.
The Art Of Ragemessaging
If you find yourself honorable enough to not ragequit, be a man and just send some hatemail. Any hate message should be no longer than 5-15 words, and should contain no less than 6 of these words.
-Zangief(Note: You should never lose to Zangief. Ever. Zangief sucks, and if anyone wins with him, it’s just cheap. All he does is throw. What a bitch.)
You need to invest in a keypad for your system, or use the keyboard from your computer. If you own a microphone, oh boy, you’re REALLY gonna get them now! [media=youtube]C7QCh-l-EJM[/media] Hell, you may be 12, fap to Jesse and Misty from Pokemon, have acne, and are probably as scrawny as a anchovie, but with words like that, they’ll never know!
The chinese have been ragequitting for centuries, and when it comes to games, they have it down to a science. This is why Japan exists and rushed their shit down in WW2, but they still kept their honor.
By following these tips, you’ll be a champ in no time! Toodles!