Going to a nude beach in a couple of days, need advice


#1

So, my cousins are inviting me to go to a nude beach that’s near their town. It’s a place that’s frequented by a lot of people, by singles, couples, and families.

Now, I’m not there to necessarily pick up any chicks, because they told me nude beaches aren’t meat markets (some places are tho). And they also told me I could get charged with indecent exposure if I get a stiffy on the beach, especially if there are families around.

My biggest problem is that whenever I get naked, I always get a boner. The second biggest problem is that I get a boner whenever I see happy naked white people, and there’s going to be a ton of that there. So I need to keep the stick down.

I dunno what I’m going to do keep my shit down. I have some left over Oxy from when I fucked up my leg last year; should I pop some of that to keep penis in check? But thing is that there only 4 or 5 pills left, so how do I keep a boner down naturally.


#2

when it gets hard, break it quick


#3

Advice? Go naked.

Issues with getting boners.
Sounds like a personal problem to me.


#4

Drink the salt water. Surely your dick will fall off then.


#5

there are gonna be lots of fat ugly people at nude beaches with weird shit on their skin

that should induce a boner naturally


#6

Go for something like that.


#7

So you can get a ticket for getting a boner on a nude beach?


#8

I wonder how many guys get chicks from nude beaches?


#9

Sunscreen.

Emphasis on “sunscreen”.


#10

dig a hole and use enough sunscreen on your back :wink:


#11

But how does one apply sunscreen at a nude beach and not get arrested?


#12

Think about that time you walked in on your parents. Thats how I keep mine down. There is not a woman of any rating on this planet that can keep me hard after I remember that terrible memory.


#13

If you have a monster “penis” you can pull all kinda women at the nude beach.

I kinda feel sorry for those lacking in the area :rofl:


#14

when there is a problem, dive at sea. or drink beer when you are at the beach.


#15

You ALWAYS get a boner when you’re naked? It means you need to get laid, and calm your ass down.

Also, why the hell would a family take their kids to a nude beach? That shit is just weird.


#16

They’re called nudists. I’ve never really known what the fuck to make of it.


#17

Trim everywhere and you cant get a boner? If you do you get arrested? Thats kind of whack. Sometimes that shit just happens even if you dont want it to. Mostly in high school but you know, shit happens.


#18

Therapist

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#19

That’s a smidge hypocritical.

They should probably kick out women that get hard nipples when it’s cold out too.

OH NO! My child just saw an erect penis! So much worse than a flacid penis!

It’s like, doing something they didn’t know it could do before!


#20

I am just as mind boggled.