Going to the club for the first time tonight. What do I need to be prepared for?

I’m 20 and about to be 21 in about a month but tonight my friend has convinced me to go to a club with him tonight because his birthday is today. I’ve never been in one. I’ve been to a few parties but never had a club experience. I know this site is full of the 25+ crowd so I’m coming to you guys for this.

What do I need to know and what should I bring?

Do not bring your credit card.

Don’t uhh… don’t drink too much.

A good attitude. Just go and have some fun. I never understood niggas who get all nervous about a god damn club.


Huh. Why not?

An Alibi.

just in case…

You’re going to see a hot girl dancing who you probably have no real interest in other than that she’s hot and dancing.

You’re going to see a bunch of guys pretending to dance with her, secretly hoping this means the hot girl will fuck him.

You’re going to want to just beat the tar out of that guy. This is normal. Just let it go.

So you don’t do stupid shit when a hot blonde comes over and asks you to buy her a bottle of grey goose.

Im not a club person but I was asked to some club events when I lived in chicago.
-Drinks are expensive. Either drink before the club or bring extra cash. Try not to use card at the club. Sometimes you can be overcharged.
Have money to get a cab back to your house or wherever you’re sleeping. It isn’t worth driving home with a wasted friend and risking an accident or police intervention.
Try to enjoy the music and dance even if you are shy or don’t know how to dance
It is easier to go up to random white girls and grind than other races.
A girl may put a lollipop in your mouth. Be forewarned.

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Wave your genitals around and when the police come to arrest you tell them its all good because some guy on the internet said so.

Because you will have that card maxed before the night is over.

Bring your A game and some condoms. Maybe some dental dam too.

Don’t mix spirits.

As someone said don’t bring your card, money runs out fast in clubs and alcohol is surprisingly expensive. If you end up buying rounds you could easily spend over $100.

Be cautious when you go in to the bathroom, look on the floor before you step in a urinal, you won’t want someone’s vomits on the trail of your jeans.

If you’re chatting to some random female be prepared to deal with the guy who has been friend zoned ‘‘looking out for her best interest’’.

Bouncers, in a confrontation even if you are trying to split things up. They won’t discriminate, explaining the situation gets them more riled up.

Muscle bound twats waiting to flex their muscles to impress women.

Predrink. This will save your ass so much money
Don’t buy drinks to random girls just like that. A lot of those bitches will just use you to get drinks.
Don’t expect good music. You will not receive it. Expect mindless stuff and people “dancing” to Katy Perry. You really wanna be wasted if you wanna blend in.
Giving the bartender big tips won’t help you get in dat ass. Clubs intentionally have hot bartenders to sucker in people into thinking they have a chance. You don’t.
Watch the fuck out with who you mess with. You never know who might have a gun or a knife.
Don’t expect too much and just try to have fun(might be hard if you’re not drunk enough)
Watch out for traps(might not be as big in your city, but i’m scarred for life)

Clubbing is overrated IMO, except when you’re going with female friends you’re trying to get into.

you are not prepared…


WTF, who in their right mind would be suckered that hard to buy a bitch a whole bottle? Is that even possible without VIP?
My tips are:
-If you look like a fag/ could get taken advantage of, always watch you drink
-If you see a girl that gives you a boner, chances are there are 10 other dudes walking around with boners looking at the same bitch and when it comes to the dance floor it’s going to be some Night at the Roxbarry shit with a bunch of dudes attacking one bitch with thrusts of boners and no one comes out a winner.
-You are 20, so chances are you won’t be fucked up since you did mention you won’t be 21 so assuming that the drinking laws are 21 where you are at. So after that run on sentence, I would suggest not to be spend 6 dollars for a fucking Redbull and pregame as much as possible. Like have a bottle with you on the way and keep taking shots. going to the club sober and being sober the whole time, you will want to kill yourself at the end, it’s really as fun as going to a whore house only to watch your friend fuck some hot whore while you play pocket pool.

wait i think momo is a girl so we need to give her different advice

I agree.

Your pre-club routine should be to post pics of yourself.

Advice for a guy: Go with at least one girl, but not more than two. Pre-selection is the strongest form of attraction for guys. Going by yourself or a guy friend(s) is generally a waste of time.

Advice for a girl: Wear something whorish and troll for drinks, dick, etc.

WUB WUB music is the preferred choice nowadays? Glad I haven’t been clubbing in a minute…