Is their something wrong with me.
When I play Ryu I never throw out Hadoukens, it always felt so derpy so never threw them out but I recently was watching some higher level ryus play and they threw them out.
So my Question is should I continue with my play style or learn the " ryu meta".


Do what you want. Learn to play without fireballs, but if you feel you are missing something in your game, like maybe a longer range poke or a reason for people to jump, try throwing out some fireballs. Also if you don’t like fireballs, how about picking a character that relies less on fireballs, like maybe sakura…