How to be social and make friends (no e-friends)


#1

I’m probably going to get trolled for this but I’m trying to be more acceptable in society. You know that feeling when your around the so-called friends and you just can’t relate to them anymore. Like why are they talking about some inane anecdote about who got wasted or why are they talking about kpop. IDk. I don’t think I’m sophisticated but its just like they are so low culture. I’m fine with it to a degree but I can’t relate. I’m like why are they being so harsh to the suicidal guy at the austin shooting or why are they rooting for the Zangief kid for the wrong reasons? I thought that if I lower myself to the otakus or 24/7 gamers, then I might find some cool people. But I was disappointed, they just have this barrier that I can’t break to talk to them. Even though I’m probably more of a nerd than they are it does help know being more knowledgeable. I think the problem with me is that I lost in touch with reality. Whenever I go out with my friends I just think I’m going out by myself. Also, I just do not stay the same. I see my friends and its like wow they are the same the way they were. I my passion for ball, art, anime, etc. does not last. Especially basketball, I don’t know why guys get so angry when they play. I just quit playing sports. I don’t see the need to work out anymore and do the strict protein diet.

So how can I get back to being social and happy? Don’t tell me do drugs or go clubbing because I just hate that. Just give me some advice.


#2

beguiled is that you?


#3

I’ll bite.

You’re growing up, and your peers aren’t. This usually isn’t too big of a deal, as the majority of people experience this while married or engaged.

My old friends don’t talk to me anymore. It took a long time before they realized they were wasting their time by trying.


#4

I instantly thought this when I read the title.


#5

don’t do drugs or go clubbing

do drugs AND go clubbing. That’s the secret


#6

You’re just getting older, dude. The “social” call it jaded. You get bored of things when you don’t change it up a bit. Maybe you’ve been getting smarter, not so much changing, and have noticed that your friends are happy in their comfort zones.

Think about it. What is culture? It’s a certain set of behaviors. As a human being, with all this stuff at your disposal, you are actively choosing to limit yourself. As you get older culture implies that a person does less and less until one’s life is narrowed down to work, raising kids, eating, paying taxes and sleeping. Maybe all you really need to do is rethink your position in life. If you feel you are above any of these other cultures maybe you should analyze the one’s that you do find worthwhile. Maybe you are just getting sick of the idea of culture sets. Maybe you’re just a judgmental prick, though. Maybe you never really understood why you joined up in the first place and it seemed tolerable because your friends were doing it and that was enough for you?

As an aside, I find been finding it hard to hang out with my friends because it seems to me like they’re miserable with a smile on their faces. Like someone has that invisible gun held to their heads saying “smile, mother fucker”. They spend entire nights just talking shit about one another or about passer bys or about the one that didn’t show up to the gathering. It’s even gotten to the point where you can’t even get them drunk or high in an attempt to stop them from talking their crap all night. They appear to be miserable but being upset isn’t an option in the “social” world, so they smile and act like that grouch from sesame street.

If I wanted to waste my drunk/high time talking about how stupid/boring/gay someone that isn’t there to defend themselves is then I’d get drunk/high and hang out on the internet. It’s a waste of an escape, imo. All exits lead inward or some other stupid shit.


#7

Tried it and it didn’t help. Overrated.

Beguiled? Like a skeptic?


#8

Sounds like you have depression…2 options

  1. Get professional help
  2. Kill yourself

#9

Stop trying to wedge yourself into social circles that you don’t care about. Your wasting your time and worse, wasting the time of the people who you are with.


#10

So many white knights in my srk. I am seriously disappoint. Fuck those other people. His priorities are him, himself and Irene. What makes their time worth any more than his?

Is this what this generation of parents are teaching? Love others more than you? Communism is a creeping up.

I do agree about the social circles bit, though.


#11

i dont think im really depressed just i dont understand. im not the person to crack and hurt myself. i used to thick yeah Ill just be alone and im fine but i have to get out there and do be social. There is never a social group that fits perfectly with an individual person.


#12

When did it become so damn fashionable to start calling people white knights all the fuckin time? It’s like your not allowed to have a decent thought about other people without being accused of being some white knight. I’m not defending some ugly troll cuz she posted boobies here.

J-man. Find a hobby. Find people who also enjoy said hobby. Commune with them.


#13

what he’s just telling the OP to stop wasting other people’s time by hanging out with them, wtf does that have to do with communism.

stop wasting my time by writing bad posts and forcing me to respond to them


#14

Find friends with the same interests. There’s not much point in hanging around people when you share literally nothing in common and can’t relate to each other.


#15

White knights uphold a certain idealistic notion of society. They fight for their friends, so on and so forth. If your original opinion were more like this second post you just made, I wouldn’t have been able to say white knight. White knights don’t just fight for ugly boobies.

I used to be one of you, y’know? Then society and my friends turned their backs on me when they got all they could out of me. I’m just trying to spare this dude the same fate.

maybe I’m jaded?


#16

he’s telling op that wasting their time is worse than wasting his own. He is letting op think that his time isn’t worth as much as everyone elses. OP owes nothing to anyone but himself and if he chooses to give every bit of himself to someone else then he is doing them a great privilege and not simply adding to their supposed greatness. Self over society because you can easily be outed and be left with nothing but yourself.

I’m not saying go out and be an asshole, but I’m sure none of those people would do for him what you are asking him to do for them. I hope that was worded properly.

Communism places the individuals interest outside of the scope of the individual or some like worded gobbledeegook. Definitions are liable to change between these posts.


#17

I’m just fucking with you guys in regards to the communism part. I was trying to lighten the mood a bit. More than friends, OP needs to remember that laughter is still the best cure for anything. Depression or not.


#18

That’s the thing. I find people with same interest and I still can’t relate. I go to the anime club and I cannot get through those guys. Man they are in a whole different world. I’m thinking about commuting to some fighting game gatherings but i’m pretty sure the result would be the same. I just remembered, Perfect Legend had that problem. He would go to a fighting game tournament and get some applause but he felt like he was there alone. That is until he became great player in a popular fighting game.


#19

really simple.

you have to understand what your real interests are, and be honest with yourself

then find people who have similar interests, and go from there. just because you like anime, dosent mean you are going to think like the anime guys, or that you are going to have more than one common intrest

also, dont be one of those people who thinks that you have to be around others to be happy. if you are happy by yourself or not going out, then thats ok too


#20

Seems to me like you’re trying too hard and not being natural. Don’t sweat it too much and just be yourself and go about your daily routine. You’ll eventually find people with similar tastes and interests that you can relate to. Having no friends at certain periods is also not that big of a deal.