How to be social and make friends (no e-friends)

I say find people with similar interest and most importantly be yourself.

find a person or group. if group, look for top person of that group. suck off that person, but don’t eat their bs.

politics

Oddly enough, I know people like this, and they’ve discussed with me how there getting bored with life and the social events are just not cutting it for them and are slowly falling into depression.

2 things:
1 - Drugs won’t help.
Get high, go into a bad trip due to depression (just one example). So overall, you got the right idea to avoid it.

2 - Getting a girl won’t help.
You always want to get a girl when you’re NOT depress. No one wants to hear a sob story, unless it’s someone who’s already closed to you and is worried about your issues. However, to get friends like that, you need to not be in this situation to begin with.

As for advice, I really wish I could help but I’ve never felt like I’ve been in this situation.
I’ve always got something to do, so it’s hard being bored. I choice my friends wisely in terms that, if shit goes down, I know who to hit up when I need help (granted, I still know a lot of people. But just ‘cause you know everyone in the world, don’t mean they will be there when something happens to ya’).

People who come up to me and tell me they have these issues, I just let them tag along with my current hobbies or suggest to them something that could interests them.

Erm… but before I go on with random shit…
You talked about the guy who did himself in at the Austin shooting.
You wouldn’t happen to live in Austin, would you, OP?

or you can do drugs WHILE clubbing, the sky’s the limit

anywho the older you get, the more friends you grew up with tend to slip away while you make new ones(not all of them but you get the idea), its only natural to feel emo about it…but you get over it though…your interest and thier interest change as time moves on…eventually you stop talking to them altogether and only say hello once every five months on facebook or something…for me my childhood was a bit rough because I did not have many friends growing up and the people I did hang out with or should I say see on a daily basis I didnt like them, they where there because of availability…so now that im an adult its kind of the same thing…so its whatever I guess when one of them does something cool I will post something on their facebook…whats funny is that the guy that I grew up with lives less than 30 minutes away from me but he is completely different now…

Having less friends when you get older is how life is. I think in general, when you get older, you have less friends and more acquaintances. I look at my own parents, my peers, my room mate, myself and we all don’t have many friends. And the people that I do know that have a lot of people on their cell phone, are good acquaintances/facebook pals.

Especially when you get out in the real world. After highschool, all your friends start dropping like flys. A good chunk goes to another college, a few goes into the military, some leave country. And then you have your own road you are on that might not be parallel to any of your friends. It’s how life is, you make good acquaintances, and have maybe a few friends.

yeah it sucks but friends grow apart

i try to occasionally keep in touch with old friends at least once a year or so to see how things are going

here’s the solution to your problem… sex, have lots of it.

Pozerwolf - I don’t live in austin. Also, I don’t tell people my problems face to face. Usaually. I like to keep my weaknesses hidden.
Dander - speaking of the austin and shootings, thats one of the reasons why i made one less friend and maybe more. I was commenting on my friends FB status about the shooting and why the guy shouldn’t be judged like a demon. This thread was epic. Dander u mentioned a white knight? I think u mean people who are idealists? So this thread was basically me arguing against people from austin, ppl going to ut and some that actually experienced it and the person that created the status. Obviously I couldn’t win because they were all supporting her. I just wanted to give her a different view on things but man they were pissed. Especially this one flustered guy that was living in the dorms close to the shooting. He said that guy could have just gone to a psychiatrists that are available and the shooting would never happen. I said wow u just cured depression and homicidal behavior, u should win a noble peace prize. idk something like that. Anyways, These people seem to have an idealistic view on society. It’s ur bad or good. I’m not basing this on just that occasion. Their are times when people just support their friends but are not helping them. Its times like these that I feel very different from others.
Sexperienced- Yeah its great and all but its not like I can just be ballin with orgies everyday with a different porn star. Im not that type of person nor am I a player. There were times in my life I would just ask out random chicks at school, which works so well if ur just blunt, but it didn’t feel right. I wouldn’t call them after a short time. No homo. Getting a girlfriend is hard mostly because I just don’t have the same metabolism as everyone else. Anyways sex is temporary happiness.
Shadow Ace 50 - I know what u mean about growing apart. Some friends go away and some stay closer. I do have close friends but they’re doing their own thing. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be alone but it was not right. Geez my last birthday I just wanted to be alone which I got bc I ignored my phone calls. Now I’m keeping them just bc I was getting bored. But its so weird. Ppl just go to ur birthday and half of them u feel like u don’t know them. Its depressing. Fast forward today and I didn’t make much progress besides returning phone calls and texts. Some of the advice i get from everyone I know is that I need to losen up and participate more. I think its either me or them.

Some people choose to care about pop stars or gossip. I choose not to. It’s very simple, when I first heard the words “Justin Bieber,” I had no idea who or what this was. Apparently it was this pop star who I still care not about nor do I know much about to this day. I mean everyone is going to have some inane shit they love, I certainly do.

I think of it like this. A subject comes up, I bring in my two cents if it doesn’t seem socially retarded to do so, and if someone wants to know more we’ll talk more, if not then our conversation ends there or moves to a new subject. If they want to know more, I can go deeper into my thoughts.

Personally here’s what I went through. I am an amiable guy, but I have few friends and I spent a lot of time alone as a child. I try to engage people in conversation and eventually a few friends come out of it, but for most people I’ll be nice to. I’m genuinely interested in what’s going on in there life, but after that, we’re not really friends at the end of the conversation, it’s just nice to hear how my classmates are doing or what they’re up to these days. If they want to talk about someone asinine gossip, fine, I just won’t contribute to the conversation, I’ll just pretend to be nice and let them go on their merry way. No reason for me to be an asshole and ruin their day. Also, if they’re really my friends, I can give them a hard time for our amusement.

But sometimes I’ll meet someone and we can find some common ground, and our conversations will get interesting.

This can range from Philosophies and religions, to sports and games, to politics, to films, music, books, or other arts, to martial arts, to… whatever interests you.

So the most important thing is, do what you like to do, get passionate about it, and when the times comes you meet someone interested in something similar, you’ll have a unique perspective to share.

Also,
Because of this, dating girls didn’t last over a month, in general, until I met my latest girlfriend. For one reason or another, I just couldn’t relate enough to the girls I was meeting all throughout high school and university, or they left me as it were sometimes. I also wasn’t a very interesting person yet, I was still growing myself. I was not satisfied with who I was, so I just kept finding new and interesting things to get passionate about to make myself a better person, with more balance and more depth. And here I am today, having gone through a similar situation to what you’re writing about, and I’m fine.

Patience and passion. You will meet good people.

Now depending on where you live, you might need to get the fuck out of dodge in order to be at peace. I was lucky living in California, but I know some people who grew up somewhere else and haven’t left California since coming here, because they just cannot relate to anyone they knew back where they are from. That’s definitely a problem I cannot relate to, nor do I have any advice about it.

Dig deeper into other individuals, and show other individuals more of your own depth as a person as well, with opinions, feelings, understandings, perspectives, and philosophies. Even if there are no, or limited similarities between you and others(as it should be, because we are our own person), you and them will appreciate what you each have to offer to each other and everyone else. Whether what anyone has to offer, is good or bad, wrong or right, is beside or below the point.

Put it this way, you don’t have to become friends with people that share common interests in a hobby if you can’t get along. It’s not a prerequisite to friendships or getting along with someone else, it’s just one of the common ways it happens is all. There really isn’t a prerequisite to any of this as far as I know, besides just allowing it. If they’re into something else, find out why and you might become interested in it or whatever else(at least you know something more or new about who you just asked), and they could be for the things that interest you, too.

It’s all about the willingness to enjoy someone else’s company. You could be in the same room with your girlfriend or wife, doing two completely unrelated activities and both enjoy yourselves equally because you’re sharing each other’s company and vibe. Two best friends could be in the same room playing a game or on separate computers or something, not having a conversation with each other and with no active attention to the other, but having a blast, simply because they’re sharing the vibe with someone else they care about or can relate to.

You have to be willing to open yourself up to the possibility of friends, and other people, for others to do the same for you. It’s a risk. I mean, you’ll end up putting yourself out there, with the possibility of amazing and/or awful things to happen to you. Or you could stay in whatever position you consider yourself in now, and I’m inclined to believe that it’s not a place you want to be or you wouldn’t have asked for advice.

Sounds like you need to take a look at what it is that really interests you. Seems like you’re trying to go hang with people that are into something " hardcore" and you’re only “casual” into whatever activity. So of course you are not gonna understand what people are talking about and just not…feel them. They’re speakin’ another language.

Look for something new to get into. Go try new shit and meet new people. Be honest with yourself.

P.S. How old is the op?

yea man, that chapter in das kapital was so important…
thats not what communism advocates

I was just messing :confused:

mess correctly, sir. communism does not put the needs of the collective above the individual, it advocates a society where each individual can live according to the way they want, which should also the collective. communism is the ultimate form of individual freedom, assuming you arent getting communism confused with the ussr, cuba, n.korea etc

a nonperfect example of communism: linux. millions of people contribute source code for free, because they simply need an operating system to do something that it currently doesnt, and everyone who uses linux also benefits from their labor.

edit: at the risk of majorly derailing the thread, this is the last post ill make about this here

You used to thick?

Nah, fellas - this ain’t beguiled.

Beguiled ain’t self-aware enough to make that egregious of a Freudian slip.

I personally think that this whole thread is code for OP coming out if the closet.

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quit being such a dipshit

The funny thing is, he states in his op, that he doesn’t want to lower himself to the level of his friends.

Lower himself, he says.

:rolleyes:

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Don’t use a condom during the first time you have sex.

Okay Op here is the answer to your question. Crossdressing!!!

I know what your thinking, “But Angelpalm, I already do that!!”

But here’s the clincher!!

Your gonna crossdress, in PUBLIC!!!

And actually go out and buy stuff that fits you ya mook, and stop wearing out the crotches in your little sisters panty hoses.

People who actively seek out new friends usually end up with friends they’re not compatible with. The better option is to just keep living the life that you want and people with similar interests will naturally gravitate to you over time. It won’t be an overnight thing but it will be better in the long run as you’ll have friends that you’re truly compatible with.