I Just Shoved An Old Lady


#1

So I was discussing with my good friend @Raz0r how I was out of booze, and this was simply unacceptable. So I walk over to the liquor store, and grab some beer and whiskey. But oh no, this wasn’t enough for good ol’ SoVi3t, he needs some fine food to go with this. So I went and bought like 3 lbs of chicken. Now, I wasn’t walking home with all this, so I decided to just hop on the bus and ride it for two blocks. I get to the bus stop, and there is a little bench with an empty space, and an untouched donut on a tissue. Thinking perhaps the donut belongs to somebody, I put all my groceries on the empty spot.

Old lady comes up, and immediately asks me to get out of her way, even though I am standing on the sidewalk, not blocking the bus bench. Whatever, I move out of the way. She looks at the donut, looks at me, looks at the donut, looks at me, and just keeps repeating, until I finally mention how it wasn’t mine, and proceed to throw it and the tissue at some birds. Bitch then proceeds to dust away at the seat like it’s infected with HIV, so she can sit her geriatric pancake ass down on it. Bus shows up, I’m now fed up with an old woman I just met, and I inform her it’s coming, because I’m a gentleman. She grunts at me, and I come to the decision to euthanize all elderly.

Bitch gets on the bus, then proceeds to BLOCK ME. Just fucking stands there. For like a minute. The bus driver informs her to move so I can get on. She takes one fucking step, then STOPS AGAIN. Starts reading a sign posted on the bus, still blocking me. Bus driver again informs her to move so I can get on. She goes to the first seat, and starts DUSTING IT THE FUCK OFF. BLOCK ME THRICE, BITCH???

Fuck this. I toss my change over her shoulder, shove her aside, and sit the fuck down in the first available spot, and just stare her down. Your move, granny.

Fuck anybody who isn’t me. Especially if they’re younger than me, or older than me.


#2

I agree with this… Some people are so inconsiderate. I was gonna take the GO train(fancy toronto train that takes you outside the city to the suburbs.) and im about to hop on i have my foot in the train to get on and this tiny little lady fuckig shoves me out of the way into the rest of the people so she can get in the train faster… I turn to everyone and wave my hands in wtf just happen… Then i gave her a really dirty look. And seriously considered spitting on her head( since she was small.) then i remembered im not Soviet and i cant go around being angry all the time :slight_smile: so i took a deep breath and went on my way. Old lady kept in good condition, minty fresh. Cant say that will last if she keeps going around no fucks given.


#3

I blame you for my problems. If you had shown that old woman who is in charge now, future old ladies wouldn’t harrass me. Seriously, clean up your mess, so I don’t have to.


#4

@Vynce is your grandmother okay?


#5

Oh shit! Is he white or black? I need a proper alibi…


#6

It was your mistake for giving the bitch way too much leeway.

When I see old people and they’re friendly I’m even friendlier. Only 1 seat left, here you take it cause that’s what I’m like.

When I see an old bitch (male or female) acting all high and mighty like some super nazi that survived ww2, I don’t give them a light of day. Don’t look at them, don’t talk with them. They bug me, I tell them to stfu.

Basically if you’re rude don’t worry about it, I can be soo much more rude than you. Fuck going eye for an eye, I’ll take em both.


#7

oh man, I’m the first person in line to be nice to others. But the moment you cause me any hassle, I must destroy you. I should have just grabbed her in a headlock, ran down the bus, and british bulldogged her.


#8

We never gave a shit how you positioned old women for sex.


#9

Nope. All my grandparents are dead.


#10

I shoved 2 women out of my way before, they were standing right in the middle of way. Couldnt walk around them so fuck it I just shoved right by them. One of them was like “well excuse me” after that I told them, maybe you shouldnt stand right in the way.


#11

SoVi3t, you MONSTER!!!


#12

#13

Never thought I’d see the day on SRK that someone would be brave to make a parody thread. Good job soviet, good job(even though it was your own thread you parodied).


#14

Smfh. Should have just rode your moose to the convenience store.


#15

…parody?


#16

http://i.imgur.com/yR6H3Nw.gif


#17

Future SoVi3t thread titles include:

I Just Carved My Initials in a Baby
I Just Pried the Gold Fillings Out of a Nun’s Teeth to Pay for Bus Fare
I Just Got a Masters Degree in Molecular Virology so I Can Bioengineer an Airborne Strain of HIV That Only Infects Puppies


#18

Hey are you white or black


#19

a causal occurence of a serial take on a topic and these guys think the world is out making jokes for them. Information analysis shows high chance of 16 year old.


#20

You know who really piss me off is people on motorized scooters. I have seen some shit.

I always hold doors open for people because I’m an apprentice gentleman, and this bitch on a scooter decides she’s done waiting for me to get out of the way and just floors it, pinning me against the door and running over my foot.

Then there was this woman I would always see at the mall on my lunch break when I was in college. Every fucking time she was going mach 1 without a fuck given for anyone. I even saw her almost hit a kid.

Just because you need a mobility scooter DOES NOT give you the right to treat everyone else like shit.

I’m surprised nobody has made a horror movie called Revenge of the Scooter People or something, that shit would be terrifying.