I need a how-to guide to fix my life


-I finished college 4 years ago (B.S. in Accounting) but haven’t successfully gotten a job in 8 years
-I don’t own a car
-I’m not a driver listed on my parent’s auto insurance
-I’m too poor to move away from home (to where more jobs might be at) and I don’t know how
-I’ve never been laid
-Since I can’t drive myself anywhere, I can’t go out and obtain the services of a dominatrix while being discreet
-movies, tv shows, and video games galore get tiresome after a while when you have unlimited down-time
-too many games use denuvo, now
-Strangers on the internet often tell me to go kill myself but I think it is a bad idea



Just do what Spinning Beat did…


I should have known better than to click on a Beguiled thread.


Just press reset.


Hasn’t worked in 8 years, yet can afford a dominatrix. Yeah, I think your life is fine, buddy.



there are some dominatrixes that work for cheap

though you have to ask if someone who can’t even command you to surrender your wallet is worthy of administering CBT


Looks like you need heavy drinking in your life. Whenever you feel sad, or down, just take a drink. A nice, long, stiff drink.

Lots of accountants are drunks

Car money is booze money and booze money is life money.

You shouldn’t be on the road anyway. Drinking and driving is a crime.

Even if you were to stumble out of your house, you’d just end up in the hospital with your stomach pumped. Better to stay inside unless you are going to the liquor store.

And a perpetual whisky dick will ensure it is never your fault.

Shame just gets in the way of drunken debauchery. Your sobriety is holding you back. That little voice in your head that says “I don’t know…maybe we shouldn’t do this” is actually saying “You need another drink” So you just keep drinking until all your fears melt away.

You could watch the same same movie every day, but it will seem like new for months since you keep fading in and out while watching it.

If you have the capacity to care about this, you haven’t been drinking enough. If a game told you to look in a CD case for a CD key, your immediate reaction should be to look at the cd case right in front of you and go “I’m too drunk for this shit” and then just kind of faze out, slumping over in your computer chair.

Maybe you should get to know them and they won’t be strangers. And what did we say about that little voice in your head?


Nobody gives better life advice than SRK.