Is it selfish to keep your terminal disease secret from your loved ones?

Suppose I had a rare terminal disease, which didn’t show any glaringly obvious symptoms to the casual observer. I only have 6 months left to live, but most likely will not be bed ridden during my final days of life. Most likely I will drop dead walking around.

I don’t want to spend my remaining time having people feel sorry for me.

If I were to keep my disease secret then suddenly just drop dead one day… Would you consider my decision of keeping it secret from all my loved ones to be a selfish act?

If one of your loved ones, kept their terminal disease secret from you, then just suddenly died and left the explanation in their will, would you feel hurt or betrayed?

If your beloved relative or good friend’s last will and testament explicitly expressed that their dying wish was to live their last days without people knowing about their terminal illness…

Would you feel happy they got their wish? Or would you feel betrayed or feel even the slightest degree of bitterness that they denied you the chance to spend at least some precious time with them and properly say goodbye?

It IS selfish if you tell no one, but if you selectively tell, I find that more acceptable.


this is the second post about dying in a row for u…something ur not telling us?

What if the dead man walking didn’t want to unnecessarily burden loved ones with a problem they can’t solve.

What if the prognosis wasn’t exact due to certain factors, and time remaining could range from 6 months to 15 months?

The dying person does not wish to expose loved ones to an ordeal that can drag itself out for 15 months. Couldn’t this be considered an act of selflessness?

Depends on how you look at it.

In my or rather, my friend’s case I alluded to in the other thread, she desperately didn’t want to tell anyone and time varied as well, but she knew the right thing to do was to tell people. So that’s what you should do. None of her classmates knew, and only her family and 3 of her friends (including me) knew, but she knew she NEEDED to tell someone. You honestly have to.

Well most of your ‘loved ones’ probably wish you had a terminal illness in the first place, so if you want to prove them right then go ahead and tell them, I’d keep it to myself out of spite.

Next thing we’re going to have is some kind of Donation thread…

“Dear SRK, one of our members is still a virgin & has only 6 months to live. Can you all donate money so he can have prostitute everyday until he dies…He has broken engrish & looks like a girl. Madcatz has generously decided to donate 1 of their many faulty sticks for this cause. Remember SRK, we family!”

Never telling anyone until the day you actually die, yes. That is selfish. You want to make sure that those around you still have a chance to get things off their chest (ex: “even though you’re a douchebag and you suck at life, I’m gonna miss you”) while you are still alive.

I’d rather just disappear to escape the synapse.


Nothing worse than having to pay for an entire funeral on a moments notice. I say stop being an ass and tell them you have teh Aids.

What if dead man walking’s last will and testament clearly stated a cheap cremation for roughly $1000, and had enough in his savings to cover all expenses?

It is selfish, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing.

I would not feel betrayed, I would feel sad about it, but I’d feel sad either way. The table could also be turned. If a person feels betrayed you didn’t tell HIM/HER, isn’t he selfish then? So to me selfishness is a non-issue. I would tell my loved ones about it, even though I too would not like to feel pitied or whatever. Such would be life. You’d die in 6 months so I would think there would be bigger things to worry about…

If in the end you were honest about it in a letter with cash to cover the funeral, I think that is respectable and fine. Not necessarily what I would do, but no one should feel that you have to do otherwise. No one has a claim to your life but you. In the end they can feel this or that about it and about you, but it doesn’t matter because you make the desicions, not them. Just hope the news doesn’t make its way out to them in that case

Hrm, sounds like a weiner financial wise. Also if a life insurance policy already exist, there is chance that you can get another Accelerated Death benefit as well.

The way I see it. If everything is coverd financially, why complicated by not telling anyone, hiding that for the remainder of your life is just adding more bs to an already difficult process. Just get it out in the open and live the rest of your life fucker.

This topic has a shit load of "what if’"s in it.

Of course it’s selfish you fuck. “I don’t wanna deal with the pain of telling them so I’ll keep it to my self and let my death be a total surprise to them. But hey least I didn’t have to deal with the look on their faces.” It’s selfish and cowardly.

It’s very logical, but also very insensitive to the ones who really care about you. Not only would I be devastated if my lady died, but I would go in shock if she knew for a fact when it was coming and didn’t allow me a chance to get somewhat prepared for it. True, it’s all about sparing other’s feelings and not have the pity stares, but just like suicide, the closest people to you wish they had some part to play.

I would fuck their corpse for doing that because chances are I wanted to get some that night and I find it unfair that she had to go before it.

honestly, it IS selfish, but it’s still the patient’s choice to make and it’s ambiguous enough that there’s no right answer.