Need opinion if I should apologise to a friends spouse or am I right not to

Agree on not apologizing. You didn’t do anything but it sounds like your friend is trying to be a “good husband” and support his wife by asking that you apologize to the center of his universe. I think if anything, you did the right thing by not going over because you thought something might happen until your head cooled down. Sounds like she has her hooks in him good.

Hmm, ask your friend or his wife directly that did she got offended or not, if so then ask for the reason, after that judge it yourself. Personally I don’t see you did anything wrong to her,(but we only see things from your POV even you are telling the truth) but different people take things differently you know.

Just weigh the options. How often are you going to visit this friend? Is it crucial that you are on the wife’s “decent” side in order to maintain this friendship? Rather than you tough it out, why can’t your friend tough it out? Are you going to even interact with this wife on a regular basis?

I didn’t understand half the post, but IMHO you should only apologize if it’s the last resort of maintaining coolness between your friend. Otherwise you shouldn’t have to apologize for shit that shouldn’t get bent out of shape over. Fuck drama queens.

OC

Everyone else has said what I wanted to say, but of course I have to post. I say that she isn’t owed anything because you did EXACTLY what you needed to do to avoid being in a situation for which you would be sorry. However, a 20 year friendship isn’t chump change. If you were asking the guy to be your best man at your wedding, I’m sure he’s a pretty good friend. Yes. I have seen good friendships ruined over something seemingly so small as this because as good of friends as you might be with this guy, she’s the one fucking him and we know how That goes. In the end, the decision is gonna be yours.

-Starhammer-

you have bad taste in friends.

This. I understand when a friend has to put his wife/girlfriend first, but I have no tolerance for doormats. He wants to apologize to his wife for bullshit reasons, fine, but don’t you dare do the same. Being able to look at yourself in a mirror is of paramount importance.

If you ever need to lop a dude’s head off, nothing does the job better than one of Dr. B’s pubes.

As Rambo said in III when someone asked why was he willing to die, Rambo said ‘‘cause he would do the same for me’’

At one point in my life I believed in that that but now it is a diff story, anyway no point in dwelling in the past

I mean first he said his reason he changed his mind was his wife and then 1 day later when I said I wouldn’t come was cause of his kids, man bullshit somewhere. He fucked up on that aspect acsue if he mentioned his kids in the first place then none of this would have happened.

I guess if I did apologise it would be something like ''I am sorry for saying I would have said something at your house cause your husband is a liar or is just spineless to me and if he told me the kids reason ONLY at first instead of JUST SAYING IT WAS YOU, none of this would have happened.

By the way, you might want to call the police on me cause I think a lot of bad things but never do them to a lot of people since IYO it’s a crime

Also I know he said he will never say anything bad to my woman BUT he can’t expect anyone to behave like him, I mean if my GF cussed him, what he wouldn’t say anything ?