NSA: The Truth About Polygraphs


#1

http://dssa.dss.mil/seta/broadcast_news/video_resources/polygraph_flash.html

wtf lol


#2

“w t f lol”

That’s deep.


#3

I should also mention Obama is declassifying 400 million pages of documents by 2013

Personally, the NSA is the last organization I would trust to tell me about polygraphs


#4

according to penn and teller, the easiest way to beat the polygraph is to clench your sphincter when you lie during the control questions.


#5

How reliable is this information.


#6

And for how long must I keep my sphincter clenched. This is very important I must know the required period of time for which my sphincter must remain clenched.


#7

If you ever been to prison, keeping a clenched sphincter would be like second nature. We’re talking easy as breathing here. :tup:


#8

drink shitloads of caffeine. That’ll fuck up your heartbeat.


#9

Polygraphs have been bullshit since its inception. Rather, the ability for a polygraph to accurately test for lying. Lots of modern forensics are bullshit, actually.

The last person to lie to Dr. B became a permanent dark spot on the Sun.


#10

i am in man love with you, no homo

i always heard take aspirin or some shit for your heart, put deoderant on your fingertips (they measure ur sweat from there), and there was something for ur eyes too but im too drunk to recall


#11

I may have to take one of these in a few months actually. I am a pretty relaxed person. I hope that is not a bad thing.


#12

what could u possibly have to take a polygraph about that the outcome would matter? the eye thing is dilation. your eyes dilate when u lie. if you can control that, youre good to go.


#13

Actually, what you do is you clinch you anus while the question is read, and then you answer as you release that clench. I believe this has to do with blood circulation. Every time you answer a rush of blood is being released which makes it look consistent.


#14

my buddy is a computer programmer who graduated from University of Waterloo, and he did CoOp at Microsoft during the Longhorn days.

He currently wants to work for canada’s spy agency (CSIS) and they require a fucking boatload of polygraphs, as well as multiple interviews with a whole fucking BOARD of people asking questions, as well as a whole slew of other things (drug tests, etc duh).

I should also mention I am like 99.9999% sure (ok, according to what I heard at his insane russian wedding, 100% sure) that his parents were KGB


#15

thats what im saying, though, what could a potential employer ask you that you would be lying about in the first place?


#16

fix’d


#17

barbie fetish? Lol…i’d love to hear some more of them questionnaire stories

I’d have trouble with the masturbating questions…i can’t even keep track of how many times in one day, let alone one week


#18

Depends on who’s reading the poly. Most pros won’t let any of the tricks get by.

And polys in general are super unreliable. As someone who has extreme anxiety, regardless of my innocence or guilt, being strapped up to one of those things would skyrocket my heart rate to dangerous levels. Put squeezing your sphincter out of your mind, fellas, cause they train for that shizz. They notice and make you stop. Your best bet is to take downers before going in. Or smoke a TON of weed.


#19

dude wtf is this stupid flash…

been watching for 5 minutes and its just assholes saying how scarred they were of their polygraph


#20

I hate how much weight people think polygraphs hold. It’s completely asinine. People get convicted for those sons of guns.