President Obama and challenger Mitt Romney got into an incredibly heated argument last Monday during the third Presidential debate. It seemed that during the debate, which was originally scheduled to be about foreign policy, President Obama made an offhand comment about how good old Sagat was in Super Street Fighter II Turbo. The President stated that although he enjoyed Sirlin’s nerfs, Sagat is just way too dominant of a character in the current state of that game. Governer Romney immediately objected to the comment, almost instinctually, repeating back the exact opposite of whatever Obama had just said.
“Sagat is really not that great in ST. O. Sagat hasn’t even won a major recently!” Romney proposed.
The two candidates began trading barbs back and forth over how good O. Sagat was, and whether he should be banned. President Obama suggested that the top 1% of the tier tree be nerfed, so the low and middle tier characters have a chance—stating: “It’s simply impossible for anybody playing a character like Honda or Gief to get anywhere near Sagat. It’s impossible. No matter how much skill is involved, or match-up experience you attain, Sagat will never ever lose. Shit is free.” Governer Romney disagreed, stating that Sagat should be given more buffs like additional health and +8 frame advantage on every move. He also derided the President on all of the balance changes that Sirlin made to Super Turbo.
“Sirlin has absolutely crippled the middle tier in this game. Many players are without a solid character all because of the disaster that is Sirlin’s rebalance.” Romney then suggested that Super Turbo adopt Romney’s patch that he worked on in Massachusetts, which is essentially identical to the Sirlin patch—save for the fact it has the word Romney in it.
It’s been a rough campaign for both of these men. We all remember how President Obama got “bodied” 3-0 against Romney at the last money match, when Romney picked Dan and the President decided to wander around the auditorium sniffing glue for the better portion of an hour. And lets not forget the infamous video where Romney said that 47 percent of everybody on SRK essentially wins off “stupidly mashed reversals” and “shitty gimmicks”.
After the debate, media outlets went crazy. Fox News attacked the Presidents match-up experience.
“The Obama presidency has failed. It’s really clear. We have a President who’s not even willing to adapt to anything mid-match, because he’s too busy wanting to socialize all the tiers. You know who would’ve adapted mid-match and not cried like a whiny bitch? Jesus.”
Meanwhile, MSNBC was far more critical of Governer Romney.
“Governer Romney is going to murder Chun Li. He’s going to find her, and kill her family, and then stab her to death just because she’s a women. On a Wednesday. . He wants to bring us back to the days where everything was slow, and Guile could just handcuff glitch everyone. Do you know who else handcuffed people? Hitler. Right before he gassed them. And by them I mean innocent polish Jews. Think about that.”
The VP’s on the campaigns have currently failed to comment as Ryan has recently realized that nobody gives a shit he did P90x, and Biden has figured out that he’s in the year 2012.
With only days away from the crucial November 6th election, neither campaign seems to be budging. Even with the ENORMOUS amount of sales Capcom has to make in order to eliminate the crippling debt over the state of ST, there are no concrete plans in place. Luckily, Bill Clinton is releasing a patch called ST v. 1992-2000, in which the economy is much better—and the worst political problem in the country is a desk clerk.
In other news, recently a bunch of people read an article on a famed fighting game website that essentially served as a thinly veiled political critique of current events. Everyone thought the article was stupid. In response, the author stated that he understands that the content may be silly or childish, but the idea that the soul of politics lives in a toxic and partisan environment is not. The author further stated, that he hopes that people understand that there is more than just one side to a story—and that in order for progress to be made on any issue, people must understand each other and come to a compromise. Only then can the world move forward. He’s also sorry about the whole fourth wall thing. His bad for breaking it. Again.