Online Tactics Guide


#1

Online Tactics Guide

Heres a guide i wrote on how to be a bastard on kaillera, feel free to add your own online tactics.

  1. Jump attack around alot in lag, since its much harder to anti-air you and knock you out of air, you can show them that they suck hard.

  2. on emulinker servers, mash your keys/buttons as fast as you can to make your opponent ghost, which could ruin thier chances for meaty attacks, mess up special moves and just make em get angry, then feel free to tell them how much they suck.

  3. feel free to use the following comments when you win ;

  • easy
  • noob/scrub (or something similar insulting your opponent by saying thier new to the game
  • owned!
  • u suck!
  1. when you lose
  • claim desync
  • claim that your on the phone
  • blame ghosting
  • blame lag/delay
  • say “i was typing dick”
  • say “u suck!”
  1. Tick throw your opponent untill they die, as to properly explain to your opponent that they do indeed suck balls.

  2. Drop as your about to lose, thus proving how suprerior you are to them, that you don’t even have to finish the game, cause their skills completely suck compared to yours.

  3. Just don’t move or press any buttons or even type anything. The go watch tv, comeback later to find your opponent leaving you loads of angry messages proving how you don’t even have to do anything to show them how much they suck and how much you own

  4. Always let your opponent know how much they suck and how much you totally own them, even if your losing.

  5. Repeatedly hack the person’s new game after they kick you out for whatever reason. [Added by dbostick]


#2

Why did you do this? =[


#3

Cause i own, and you sir… suck!


#4

>_>;;


#5

You forgot one…

  1. Repeatedly hack the person’s new game after they kick you out for whatever reason.

#6

great stuff, added


#7
  1. When someone mentions that another person is better than you, dont be afraid to bring up any obligatory series results you’ve had in the past.

ie.

Random guy: "Player 1 is better than you, Player 2. You’re gay."
Player 2: "WTF?! I BEAT HIM 21 STRAIGHT. I SCREEN CAPPED IT!"
Player 1: "OMGOSH YOU SO DID NOT. I BEAT YOU 14-3 LAST TIME WE PLAYED! YOU’RE SUCH A SCRUB!"
Player 2: “WELL PLAYER 3 WATCHED LAST TIME AND HE SAYS I BEAT YOUR ASS 43-1! WTF DOOD?! YOU’RE A GAY FAG! OKAY?! GAY FAG!”


#8

Isn’t this technically trolling? Someone close this garbage.


#9

How is it trolling? If he explicitly stated that this applies to all players on Kaillera, yeah, but it’s mrely a sarcastic bit of fun.


#10

How’s this different than the bad games thread, and all the other negative kaillera stuff?


#11

I thought it was just a joke thread.

I found it pretty funny.


#12

this was a joke thread, kind of way for ppl to post what bastards have done to them on kaillera.


#13
  1. Hold minimize or maximize or just the border where you move it to lag the game. Do it at opportune times like when you’re about to lose, when they’re about to block on wake-up, or just randomly because it’s hilarious. Hold it long enough to lag yourself. Do this often and blame it on the other guy.

  2. After they set the dip in an SNK game, hit start first to take over the options YOU want.

  3. Ask a question they’re likely to answer, then punish them for being so stupid as to leave their controls.


#14

“13. repeatedly complain how your bullshit didnot connect”


#15
  1. if you lose, blame the opponent’s character/the game for being so broken. that will show him that he is only beating you cuz the game itself is crap.
  2. once your opponent figures out how to deal with your parlor tricks, switch to another character and use new parlor tricks. once he can deal with all your characters’ parlor tricks, quit the game, tell him in the main chat how much he sucks and how many matches you beat him (while he was learning what to do against your shit) and tell him you will never ever play him again cuz he sucks.

#16

I like the phrase “parlour trick”. Mind if I pilfer it.

16: Explicity state at every point that you are using a keyboard. With sticky keys. And half of them missing. And a desk space organized so that you can only use one hand.


#17

I got another one.

  1. If your an admin, ban and victimise people who do nothing wrong.

#18
  1. Hotkey your viruscanner to startup an indepth scan, so you can induce some lag when you start to lose.