Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe


#1

So, did anybody else ever read this? And if so, is it true that I’m the only one who liked it?


#2

haha that sounds like a dope what if or w/e it is…i wanna read that. just to see him kill wolverine.


#3

It was a one-shot that kinda is “What If…Punisher’s Family was Killed in a Super Hero Battle.”

But he kills Wolvy by:

Wolverine gets pwnt

Spoiler

Wolvie gets really really drunk, and Punisher ends up fighting him, luring him into a power plant, then sticking his claw into some 100 jillion volt box, and leaves him there till he cooks into nothing.

Though it had alotta brutality in it, which you’d have to expect from a special Punisher thing.


#4

Biggest piece of crap I’ve read. Its like it puts him on a “Batman-like” level, but the way he kills everyone is just ridiculous.

And the fact that he can endure and outlast most people on his level and beyond with all that battle damage all the way through is just giving him WAY too much credit. I like Frank (when he isn’t being batshit crazy), but this is one What-If that was just trash. Nice setup, terrible execution with even WORSE executions.:lame:


#5

Cmon, man. The way he kills the characters are pretty much painfully straightforward in the “why didn’t anyone else think of that?” or pretty much the only way you could seriously think of ANYBODY being able to kill the heroes.


#6

I preferred Fred Hembeck Destroys the Marvel Universe


#7

couldnt wolvie survive something like that?


#8

Wolvie

Spoiler

Well, Nitro couldn’t killed him when he just exploded him to the bone…which left him alive. Leaving him to have like…all of America’s electricity pumping through him would probably be enough to just liquify everything, brain included. IMHO, it is pretty much the only way you could kill him. But hey, it’s Wolverine.


#9

I read it, thought it was pretty funny. Not 100% what would seriously happen, per se, but good for a laugh or two. I really like how he pwnd Venom and Spidey. :lovin:


#10

Nitro did kill Wolverine, it’s just that he beat that Lazaer guy and came back. Everytime Wolvie dies he has to fight some dude and if he wins he comes back to life.


#11

Im a big Punisher fan so yea Ive read this, rather than take it seriously I see the funnier side in it, obviously he couldnt actually kill the whole of marvel, but its fun to watch how he would.

The last batch he kills had me rollin for ages.


#12

This is probably one of my favorite marvel one shots/stuff/comics ever.

Somebody had to be first.


#13

Thats taken a bit too literally. All that stuff is going on in his mind, he doesn’t REALLY have to fight someone to stay alive. That whole scene and what not is like a giant description of Logan’s inner character, but for some reason, people keep thinking he really is fighting someone to stay alive on Earth.

To be honest, the only ones I had problems with is him successfully leading almost every mutant to moon, and detonating a nuke. The other is him actually beating DD after Cap and Logan. Cap’s was straight forward but a little too naive even for Cap. Logan…eh…well he can’t get drunk but whatever. Hell, even Doom’s was a bit “eh”.

I think the big kicker that got me was, knowing that he was going around murdering friends and families of others (within the super hero community) that Cap and DD didn’t immediately take him down. Then Cap turns his back for whatever reason, and DD gets hit by a secret knife (??? How?). It feels like it was written to downplay those he is trying to kill and over plays his skill at using his weapons smart and analyzing the situation. Its sorta sad that he had to write Wolvy drunk just so he can beat him (yeah, I caught that one).

Spidey-Venom, Banner, Cyke, those were fine.


#14

Well, he could’ve sabotaged the Blackbird, but he already did that with the Avengers.

Cap

Spoiler

But yeah, the way he killed Cap was my favorite. I mean, Cap is pretty melodramatic and that’s something he apparently took advantage of. I mean, this is the kinda stuff that annoys me in anime. How they’ll just stop a fight for about 10 minutes to talk. But Punisher PLAYS TO WIN.

everyone else

Spoiler

Punisher’s playing to win. He’s not taking this crap and he’s fighting ‘cheap.’ He causes all the Avengers to just kinda cease to be by making their transporter turn them into nothing. He shoots Banner in his sleep. He nukes all the Xmen. Like Kesselring said, he’s killing each individual hero in the most effective way available with specialized equipment, and when Cap and Daredevil show some mercy or hesitation…he pwnz them. I mean, look at what he does with Microchip in MAX. He frickin teams up with Microchip and kills a buncha mafia…then when Micro starts to apologize for working with the CIA…he SHOOTS HIM IN THE FACE! It isn’t new or uncommon that somebody tries to reason with the Punisher about their (mis)deeds, only to have them shot in the face.


#15

I flipped through it and saw the Wolverine death but that was all I remember. I’d like to see a compiled list of everyone that was killed and how it was done.
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spoiler: didn’t Frank detonate a nuke at some point? I think he managed to gather a bunch of characters together on an island or something, and detontated it.


#16

It’s up to you I guess but I wouldn’t worry too much about using spoiler tags in this thread since this is kind of a spoiler thread that should be used to discuss the story openly anyway, kind of like what’s going on in the World War Hulk thread. Just a suggestion though.


#17

Well, his family was killed by the Xmen and Avengers while they were battling the Brood in Central Park, and at the time, he works for SWAT. He sees his family, and Cyclops is like “yeah…sorry 'bout that” and he immediately flips out and shoots Jubilee, Cyclops, Hawkeye and a few other odds-and-ends from both teams. Wolverine ends up hacking a badass scar into a big portion of his face, but Colossus ends up grabbing him and holding him. Punisher gets arrested and put on trial with Mudock defending. He ends up getting life without parole, but while he’s being driven to prison, the transport gets jacked and he gets brought to this mansion, and inside is this guy with half a face and one arm who’s like “yeah…Doom threw the Human Torch at my car…” and he introduces a bunch of other people who had family members killed or who suffered injuries super fights (one of them had parents who had a dumptruck dropped on them by the Hulk, one of em got hit-and-runned by Ghostrider and can’t walk, etc etc). He introduces Castle to Microchip, who lost both legs to Doctor Octupus while he was at an USAF base.

So, he goes after Spidey first, who was fighting Venom in a sewer. He lays down some wires in water and on the floors, then zaps the hell outta the both of em, then walks over and M4s them in the face. Then he’s like “yeah…I need some gear.” So him and Microchip go after Doom, and he ends up getting into a fight with him, and gets slapped around, and when Doom is strangling him, he sticks a magnetic grenade on his face, which explodes his helmet, and blows off his hands, while making him lose control over all his Doombots. He then pulls a sledge hammer off his wall and beats him to death with it. While he’s going through it, he finds a nuke and he decides he’s going to take out the Xmen, since he’s still quite annoyed with them. So, he electronically disguises himself as both Xavier and Magneto, and invites every mutant he can find to Asteroid M, and when they’re all gathered to fight, the nuke falls down right in front of them, and they all asplode.

Then he needs some more gear, so he decides to go after Kingpin, and even though he’s not a super hero…HE NEEDS PUNISHMENT. So, he goes up and up to the top floor, kills a few odds-and-ends Daredevil/Spidey villains (is said, except they show him kill Bullseye), then he gets into a fight with Kingpin, who slaps him around, takes his gun and bends it into a pretzel, so Punisher breaks out a pistol, then shoots him many many times, and when Kingpin falls on top of him, he gets shot (in the face, of course). But since the Kingpin is 30k pounds, his corpse ends up pinning him to the floor, and he gets arrested and re-broken out of jail. Then they just talk about how a buncha heroes got killed, with the Avengers going into their transporter which kinda…loses them, Reed Richards gets beaten to death and found in a dumpster, etc etc. So he ends up fighting Cap, then Wolvie, which was already discussed.

Then, Daredevil’s the only one left. So he goes to Hell’s Kitchen and gets into some hand-to-hand action and after Punisher gets beaten down, DD is like “cmon Frank, just stop it” and puts out his hand. So Punisher says “hell naw!” and knifes the bitch, with the whole knife-sticking-out-through-back Elektra treatment.

Probably never.


#18

I think people who don’t like the story just don’t appreciate Ennis’ sense of humor. Even with Marvel logic, there’s just no way most of that stuff could happen. But it’s entertaining and funny to read about it anyway. I mean there are lines like, “The Avengers got killed in a teleporter accident” and “They found Mr. Fantastic’s body in a dumpster.” The whole thing is basically just Ennis having revenge on the superhero genre.


#19

Garbage. Daredevil can hear random people and his own friend’s heartbeats from miles away, even is he is showing mercy, he gets killed by a hidden knife?

Boy, sure didn’t “see” that coming.:shake::lame:


#20

Wow I love Ennis’ punisher, I can’t believe I missed this.

I need to read this now, even with the silly stuff you guys have been saying I think I will really enjoy it. Thanks for this thread so now I know.