Real Life Deathmatch


#1

Yo, wassup? I’m new here obviously, but I always heard people say SRK was one of the realest sites on the net, and since yall like fighting games so much, maybe you can give me some advice here. I loved Street Fighter as a kid, I loved it so much, that I became a real life street fighter as an adult. I’ve been fighting on the streets, in abandoned warehouses, rooftops and alleyways, and parking lots for years now, honing my combat skills. I learned Krav Maga from an Israeli friend of mine years years back and I’ve gotten so good at it, I can take down damn near anyone.

Well, one day, you see I heard some guys talking about underground fights, like real underground shit. Some dude said he saw some shit like that online, in some real hard as fuck to find part of the net. Well, I asked around and this one guy showed me the place, and it was fucking nuts man, like you think MMA is hardcore right, like UFC? Yo, this shit is the REAL DEAL. Dudes KILL each other in these fights, they’re real fucking death matches, like modern day gladiator shit. Wealthy people hold these contests and shit worldwide and some of the most fucked up people enter them, I’m talking serial killers assassins mental patients that escaped and shit, just real fucked kinds of people.

Why am I telling yall this? Its because I need some advice. I decided to enter one of these contests, a real special one. This one is some real fucked shit, and the winner gets a fucking 100 million dollars. In this shitty ass economy, a 100 million dollars is a fucking DREAM, especially for guys like me who never imagined making that kind of cash. Thing is, this friend of mine, he was in the circuit for years and retired last year, said he couldn’t do this shit no more. He warned me not to enter this contest, he said this one was especially fucked up. See, he said that you can get the money, but if you manage to win, the sponsor of the tourney actually offers you another option: instead of the money… you can get a wish. Anything you want. No matter how stupid it sounds, how unrealistic or even impossible by human standards, supposedly you can get it. Now, I admit, I thought he was full of shit, like maybe dude watched too much Supernatural or some shit, but he was dead serious, I never saw him look that serious unless he was in a real fight for his life man. He said he had this cousin who entered a contest by this same sponsor, won it, and asked for a wish. Dude came back home, told him his wish and what went down, and pulled out a gun and blew his fuckin brains out. Just like that.

He won’t tell me exactly wtf happened, he just said that when you make your wish, it gets all kinds of fucked up. He even claimed the sponsor wasn’t human, like it was a djinn or some shit. No one knows who this person is, only evidence I have is this one odd photo he sent me, said his cousin took it in secret before he flipped his shit. My friend said under no circumstances should I even consider entering this contest, said if I wanted to fight so bad and make money or whateevr t go join UFC or something. Kept ranting about bad juju, and saying it ain’t worth it. But I admit, all the shit he told me, just made me curious. I mean, come on, who can pass up something like this?

Should I enter this contest guys? Or should I just suck it up and go with the UFC? I admit, this shit just sounds too awesome to pass up. I already been making preps to go to Dubai(this is where the contest takes place, can’t say anything more exact than that, sorry bros).


#2

What the fuck did I just read, man
:wtf:
Well, when you end up against a four armed mother fucker make sure to hit him on the balls.
Don’t wear sunglasses they’ll break.
When this yellow nigga tells you “COME HERE!”… DON’T
Bring your own food. The host will send minions to flip tables with perfectly good food, therefore restricting your nutrition.
Say goodbye to your black friend, he’s gonna be eliminated early courtesy of 4 armed dude.


#3

i have two cats


#4

I’d watch this movie. I’d watch the fuck out of it.

OP, enter that tournament and kill every motherfucker in the place.


#5

I know it sounds crazy man, but dude was dead serious, and my friend doesn’t joke around with shit, he’s always a real serious well grounded dude.

Here’s the photo he got off his cousin, this is supposedly the sponsor of this contest.

From what I heard, no one’s even seen or heard of this person before. Shit gives me the fuckin creeps, especially those damn eyes. Just looks so fuckin cold and shit…


#6

Am I on TOR?


#7

No, you are not ready young one. Come train with me, i will teach you the twin death fist technique. It may take a while, its a 1 frame link.


#8

That’s where the guy said he found it, he showed me and I signed up on their page. Which was creepy as shit btw. Like, you figure ok it’s a no holds barred contest so the page would have typical shit like blood and skulls or maybe “hardcore” gritty fonts for that whole street feel. This shit was anything but, it was real fancy, just something seemed off about the shit. After I signed up I saw this one section titled “The True Face of Mankind”, I left off there because I got an odd vibe, like I started feeling physically ill and shit for no damn reason.


#9

I’m not buying your troll post


#10

screencap the site you went on to sign up to this shit.


#11

I didn’t screencap it sadly, dude who showed it to me was hogging the pc, all he let me do was look at the site as he scrolled and clicked around, then he let me sign up for the contest, that’s it. It wasn’t really what you’d think, it’s not like there was pics of dead people(least not on the parts I got to see), just a lot of writing and philosophical bullshit about mankind, I wasn’t gonna read all dat shit.


#12

Be like WCW Crow Sting, haunt the competitors and bring a bat or mayor pipe.


#13

shits seems legit. did advanced img searches of that dude, got nothin.


#14

I already won this contest and wished for you to be banned again OP.


#15

4/10 for effort

however, maximal effectiveness could have been achieved if you had added the following paragraphs at the end:

and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait, I hear the prissy, booze, whine, all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don’t think so
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well uh, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested yet.
I just got here!
I sprang with the quickness, like lightening disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought ‘Man forget it’ - ‘Yo home to Bel Air’

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked to my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air


#16

So you’re basically this guy?

Spoiler

[media=youtube]CVFHQsWPMhU[/media]


#17

If your friend was in the circuit for years, then that must mean he got a shit ton of money from winning… UH OH PLOT TWIST your friend is actually the wealthy sponsor!


#18

Is that what you want? Huh? I traveled to Hong Kong, to participate in the Kumite fighting tournament to honor my sensei. Met big biker dude and beat him in a Karate Champ arcade game and became his friend. Then he got into the ring and I watched a guy name Chong Li stomp on him and take his bandana. Then I faced Chong Li at the end of the tournament and he threw some powder in my eye, and it blinded me. Then I had flashbacks about how sensei trained me to fight blindfolded. I then beat Chong Li and became champion. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT. CAUSE THIS HERE IS REAL!


#19

Nah, trust me it ain’t him. Plus whoever this person is, I get odd vibes off that pic, like physically ill and shit. Ever since my friend gave me that(which was last month), I been having real fucked up nightmares man, like real real fucked up shit. Like seeing people eatin and fuckin each other and screaming in pain, and at the end I see that face smiling and they just say “Witness the true face of mankind. Do you like what you see?” What creeps me out, is that is the exact same fucking thing that my friend said his cousin was muttering to himself before he suicided. The exact same phrase. I still can’t get dude to tell me wtf happened with him, beyond him telling me that whatever happened at the end of that contest broke him. Dude used to be real chill and shit, we hung out sometimes, he always cracked jokes and was just a fun dude. He comes back apparently like he’s dead inside, and kills himself. My friend still hasn’t gotten over it.


#20

Mexico 2.0