So I smudged shit on my roommate's food and let him eat it


#1

I was sufficiently pissed off at this guy who lives in the apartment with me so I made a plan to take some kind of ‘attack’ on him. I made a plan to smudge some piss on the food in the fridge that he would be eating. And when I knew he would be out for a while one day, I proceeded to ‘drop a drop or two’ on his soon-to-be food. Later, I watched and waited until he ate it and he did not seem to have a reaction. I was still pissed off again so, since he had no reaction last time from the piss, I did it with poo instead this time. I ‘wiped and smudged’ and waited until he ate that thing. He must have tasted what it was or tasted something vulgar, because he spitted the food back out quickly after putting it in his mouth and chewing it.


#2

Goddamn 2012’ers


#3

This is a funnier story when you realize that Dyne’s roommate is actually either his wife or one of his two kids.


#4

that’s gross, but funny.


#5

did you giggle and smirk like a little Japanese school girl in the corner?


#6

they have websites for that kind of stuff


#7

That shit stays with you


#8
  1. Why didn’t you just talk to him about what he did to make you so mad?
  2. If talking didn’t work, why didn’t you just lay hands on him?
  3. You do realize that the problem with messing with someones food, is then you have to worry about your food? That’s why if someone starts a game with you that can not be won, such as sabotaging food for example, or the nut game, where you unsuspectingly hit someone in the nuts, you have to lay hands on them so the game stops before it begins.

#9

At least you didn’t pull a CKY and smudge shit all over his face or piss DIRECTLY INTO his mouth while he was sleeping.


#10

Seems like a very “catty” thing to do. A bit like the cleaner scrubbing the toilet with yer toothbrush.

When you think about it though, everyones mouth is full of bacteria, even if they brush three times daily they’re still there. And those bacteria constantly shit in your mouth everyday. So what’s a bit of your flat mates poop when you got microorganisms taking qualified shits in your mouth 24/7 daily :////… Life sucks.

Going to go and brush now, and floss… bleach…


#11

Yeah you’re in jeopardy now. Hope you enjoy earthworm cakes and elephant shit chocolate milkshakes.


#12

Your dad or brother are not your roommates.


#13

Coco-puffs FTW! :tdown:


#14

inb4lock


#15

So you DO live with your mom? And s/he’s really a shit-eating hermaphrodite? You know, if you maintained a more protein and fiber rich diet, s/he probably wouldn’t have spit the sumamabitch out.


#16

Did he fuck your girl or something?


#17

So there didn’t seem to be any reaction from him…

Question, how did your meal taste?


#18

You’re gonna have some nut juice in your cereal


#19
  • Rep. This is exactly what I do when my boyfriend (I’m a girl) asks me to make him a sandwich. I make him one… with a little* “extra dressing*” in them. He will never demand food of me again.

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