So I just got the ‘time frame’ in which my wife would be ‘cool’ with us having a second kid. Looking at some of my friends and where we all are right now, I was just curious who else on SRK had kids, how old they were, how raising them has been so far, etc.
ITs been fun for me so - my boy is 14 months, but I’ve been working remotely for the past 6 months. Fortunatly I had worked out 4 day work weeks so I was still there on weekends. Next week my family will officially be moving down to Raleigh with me so it will be full time again. I’m really looking forward too it. My wife found a diecast Tonka truck, so I’m gonna clean it up so when can spend some time outside playing with it. Thinking of getting one of those real small pools for him - he LOVES water. shrug
I have 3 kids. 9, 7 and 6. Been married 10 years. I’ve been working the same job for 10 years. By now I have a very routine life. It’s not a bad thing at all. I know what has to be done and when to do it. I still have time to kick it with the guys and get some gaming in. Going to Vegas in August with a group of 12 people. For me having kids wasn’t the end of my life, it was just the start.
^To be fair, that snipe doesn’t really fly when parents expect other people to raise their children for them. Then it becomes “Don’t you ever tell me what to do with my child, but you’re gonna make damn sure they stop acting up, learn, and become model adults.” as numerous teachers without children can tell you.
edit: hoping this doesn’t degenerate into mud-slinging, as this is a cool thread so far.
You might want to be more specific about what you mean by “hitting”. People get caught up in semantics. The last time the topic of “hitting” children came up, it ballooned into a mess because people took “hitting” the wrong way.
I won’t front, RoninChaos and Aceturnedjoker put me on to a book for essentially ‘what to expect - Dad Edition’ - I’ll find the link later - but that was honestly the BEST advice I’ve gotten over the past ‘two years’ of the journey. I recently found out one of my boys got something cookin now and I told him straight up - get that book - http://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Practical-Handbook-Dads/dp/0743251547/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340738753&sr=8-1&keywords=be+prepared and then don’t take advice from anyone else. EVERYONE has their own way of doing things - which is cool, but one situation doesn’t necessarily mirror another…so just ignore advice from everyone beyond truely technical advice, but even that should be taken with a grain of…‘pepper’ as science reverses and switches left and right when it comes to not just babies but kids.
We are taking a ‘melded’ approach to raising Nathan, primarily how my folks raised me with some interjections of how my wife was raised. MY folks had money but treated me like we were pour, her family was…well damn near poor - but treated her like they had money (not in a spoiled way though). Both had advantegous, I really value a dollar - I’ll tell you in a heartbeat that TMNT were half the cost of GI Joe so I bought them because i couldn’t afford GI Joe…I think I owned a total of 3 Gi Joe I bought…(still remmeber them, Snake Eyes, Headhunter, and then this neaon yellow swimming dude with a cool mask…oh yeah I had the red ninja too). On the flip its actually what contributed to my weight problem - where I feel I had to clean the plate because that was valuable resources - can’t let it go to waste! My wife o nthe flip - since she was given whatever she wanted again not to a spoiled degree - she’s the opposite and can be super wasteful with things like food - but her health is better than mine. shrug
I’d like to add plucking/smacking hands as OK on my list…I’m going to shy from it as much as possible, but I do believe in it. I never got into a fight post pre-school (well once after) because I knew even if I won, my parent’s would win the title bout…
Never hit a kid in the face, don’t threaten to spank if you don’t plan to do it. Don’t spank in public, wait till they get home or use pressure points if you need them to settle down right away. Don’t spank if you are angry, wait till you settle down…that ass will still be there to beat. If you spank and find out that they didn’t deserve it, apologize right away. Don’t warn that they are getting spanked. Never let them slide because that teaches them that punishment is random. If you do it right you should have to spank on average of twice a year (more in the early years and less as they get older and learn that you mean business)
Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood…including how to:
stay awake (or at least upright) at work
I can’t mention how many times I’ve fallen asleep at my desk in the past 2 months since my son was born. It’s been a challenge thus far, but everyday is becoming more fun than the one before. He’s starting to laugh and imitate facial expressions some now, and from what I can tell he loves being outdoors. It’s pretty much one of the best ways I can get him to stop crying when he gets in a fit. ****
The need to spank is usually not that great for me. When the kids were about 4-6 I could tell them to “go to the corner” and they would start crying like they were going to the electric chair. As they get older that obviously doesn’t work, so you start taking away things they love from them. Once my oldest turned 14 that didn’t work so it became all about embarassing them in front of their peers. Teenagers are the worst people in the world and when Mystic (my oldest child) stopped listening to me and my wife and started listening to her other idiot peers. But I can put her in check by threatening going to her school and sitting next to her in every single class (because I’ve done that shit to her and she “wanted to die the whole time”).
This has been THE INVINCIBLE SWORDSMAN saying:
There are some things that I believe are ass-whippable on sight though. Like skipping class or stealing or doing something that will get you in trouble with the law. I couldn’t spank Mystic though. It was established from the jump that’s not my place.
Watching my kids be born was pretty freakin’ gross. The last one, Isabel, the doctor told me to “go ahead and have a look.”. This was a c-section. So I went ahead and looked over the curtain. Oh, there is the babies head…and Ambers guts! /swoon
Yeah my boy LOVES being outside. When he gets the hankering he just runs over to his shoes and brings them over. He just does the nature hike type stuff right now, picks up random sticks and rocks - feeling them, then throwing them as far as he can (about three feet right now…TEBOW!). Its kind of weirds for me though, because I’m trying to protect him, but not stifle him…so I let him pick up pretty much anything he’s coe across, but I’ve stopped him from putting random ass acorns in his mouth.
I’m not going to front - I read the book thru I think the first 6 months, after that it was sort of cruise control - nature guided me on what to do thus far. the only big mistake we’ve made so far - my parents were guilty of (which is why I admit it was a mistake) - and thats ‘understanding baby tongue’ too well. My son hasn’t developed the need to talk because my wife and I can communicate with him as is, so I’m trying now to only respond to words and actions and not his…‘lazy attempts at speech’. It’s alreqady starting to work which is good, I had to take classes as a kid apparently. Honestly, with staying awake, the worst thing you can do is th most obvious - and thats caffiene…since hte body already makes it - it gets accustom to having it, so you get the heroine effect of needing more to get the desired effect…I need at least 2 cups of coffee to make it thru the day, but usually 3. I find just taking a 5 minute or ten minute ‘walk around the building’ break serves me best though. I admit I was fortunate - Nathan started sleeping thru the night rather early.