The Greatest Lies in Gaming History


#1

So, this was on my mind lately, as I randomly remembered this dude on a certain other board for Super Smash Bros. Melee… I may even still have his posts saved in an old Word file. This guy claimed “I got a ‘No Damage Clear’ on Very Hard All Star mode with Pichu.” This wonderful memory just randomly hit me the other day, and I was laughing again as if I had just read his post for the first time. It might be one of the most ridiculous claims I’ve ever heard…ranking right up there with my old pal “Dumbass” saying his copy of Mortal Kombat II on SNES started doing some MK3 things like displaying a combo counter + damage % on the screen, or characters running, etc. Anyway, back to the Melee fan…I haven’t even played that shit in years, but here’s a quick rundown on why it’s such wildly unbelievable bullshit:
-I recall All-Star mode lasting for quite awhile…there’s a LOT of fighting going on in there…yet he claims he made it through untouched? Yeah, ok. *edit—oh, and keep in mind that you have to fight MULTIPLE characters at the same time in this mode. It’s you vs. 2 or more enemies + stage hazards + the threat of your own moves causing damage. No Damage Clear? Yeah, ok. He’s also incredibly weak, if I recall…so it will take that much longer to score a “KO” on your opponents.

-…too bad Pichu has the absolute WORST range I’ve seen in the entire history of fighting games (*or “games that involve fighting”, since some folks here are incredibly picky about what goes in which genre…despite what common sense and reality says.) Really, I’ve never seen a character with worse range than that. It’s like a baby that was born with no arms and legs, trying to punch someone with an imaginary fist. Yeah, Pichu = Garbage.

-…too bad this sad-sack excuse for a character also hurts itself with most of his own attacks. How stupid is that? So, we’re expected to believe this character that hurts itself with most of its moveset can somehow make it through what is naturally the most difficult mode of the game (*on the hardest difficulty setting) without taking damage? Yeah, sure. I think the last stage was Mr. Game & Watch, which also had random objects falling from the sky, so you’re bound to take damage on this and other stage hazards or the opponents…or in Pichu’s case…your own moves. Nigga please.

Of course the guy refused to show proof when people challenged his bullshit.

Even with the advent of achievements and trophies, I’ve still known people to just flat out lie about something in a game, despite their achievement/trophy list clearly proving that they DIDN’T do what they’re claiming. Sheeeit, taking it back… I also remember people claiming Al Bundy was a secret character in MK3, and that Guile could pull a gun out of his boot and shoot his opponent for the instant win in SF2. Occasionally there’s bullshit straight from the companies…e.g.–> Nintendo, in the early days of the DS: “…DS is just a ‘third pillar’…” (aka, the “In case this shit fails…” strategy.)

Any good ones from the modern era of gaming? Discuss…


#2

Half Life 2 Episode 3 being released…

That’s one of the biggest lies for me…


#3

On a related note, the Source Engine is made from scratch.

My favorite Valve lie ever!


#4

Put your trust in Valve. We’ll get Ep. 3 :smiley:

Probably the biggest lie for me occurred in the Starsiege: Tribes (the greatest fps in history) competitive scene, with it being revealed that NuTz cheated, using happymod to secure their victories (and month’s at #1 at TWL).

Getting kind of pissed just thinking about it, and it happened no less than 8 - 9 years ago.


#5

Shenmue III. ‘The story goes on…’


#6

Infinium labs.


#7

All of the wolf tickets that Peter Molyneux tries to sell us when he discusses upcoming Fable titles.


#8

1080p gaming as an industry standard.


#9

This thread should just be “The Greatest Lies”, games or not. (This is in GD after-all…make it more general?)

On Topic: Sonic being in SSBM (not brawl). This saddened me considering a chunk of my childhood life revolved around Sonic…and Megaman.


#10

Or hell any ps3/360 game actually running at true 1080p

And no Duke Nukem Forever? I know it’s released and all but there was a few different builds of the game even.


#11

Spectator mode is impossible.


#12

Blast Processing


#13

The Guile gun thing was even done in a video game magazine once too. Not sure if it was gamepro, egm or what. But they edited a SF2 arcade screen shot where he had a actual gun. Guile was in his standing fierce animation for it.

Also was it actually a lie that James Goddard(?) created Dee Jay?


#14

zooming in and out when characters air combo in mvc3.


#15

“Link, you must succeed! Zelda is your…”

My what? My what!? Damn it, uncle, can I fuck her legally? Uncle!? DAMN IT.


#16

Heh I remember that one. I also remember hearing about all these bullshit fatalities for MK. I think one was like…that stage w/ the green acid…you could uppercut a dude onto the hooks hanging from the ceiling, but only on the sega version. Pissed me off cuz i had the snes.


#17

The cake.


#18

I was waiting for that.


#19

Someone told me they beat Halo 1 on Legendary using melees only
such total bullshit.


#20

That if fan demand is/was strong enough, we’d see Mega Man Legends 3 and/or Darkstalkers 4.

That motion controls would change the way we play games for the better.

That Daikatana would make me John Romero’s bitch.