The Saiko Doraibu!


#1

The lumbering beast drops from the treetops, showering the orange clad man with leaves in the process…

“UO UOUO UOUO! UOUOUOUOUOUOUO!!!”

The man recovers from his fighting pose and turns around (having faced the wrong direction), and shouts in surprise…

“Jimmy!”

They hug.


After finishing their meal of sashimi grade freshwater fish (lightly electrocuted), they resume their talk along the riverside.

“Yeah so basically I’m earning some side cash teaching correspondence courses of my Saiko Style. You should do that too, I’m sure there are people out there who would love to learn what you can do, I mean, I’ve incorporated your Rolling attack into some of my own moves! Wanna see?”

“Uo.”

Dan jumps up in a flash and furiously disturbs the peace of the grasses and sticks and various bugs around them by rolling (aggressively) and suddenly standing up going “TORIA! USHIAAA!!(very loudly)”

“Uouo. Uououououo?”

“Hmmm, maybe just a few feet, then I’d have to get up cause it hurts my back.”

“Uouououououo?”

“No, Sakura, is too lazy to learn it from me, keeps going off tangent with her funny styles. But you know, I think some of the champions are starting to pick it up from me, I bet they bought my correspondence course tapes.”

“UO? Uououo?”

“Yeah like that Ken guy, I’ve seen him roll a bit. He rolls a bit, but flops. And sometimes he grabs someone, then he rolls a bit and throws them. I’d give him pointers but then he wouldn’t need to buy my other tapes then. I’m a sick businessman I tell you.”

“Uououououououo?”

“Yeah of course. Tons of em’! There was this coupla guys I saw just a few months back, crazy nuts! One tried to dress like me, but he got it wrong, I mean, his hair was dyed blonde whitish! And it was some kind of messy funky hair style, but it’s so wrong! I’ll give props to his friend though, he had my hairstyle down pat, ponytail and all. Trimmed his eyebrows so he’ll look like me. Allllmost as handsome as me too. BUT. He didn’t bother to dress up. Pants and shiny leather shoes. Funky looking shirt. Haha, It’s like if you take the guys head and placed it on his friend’s body, maybe you’ll get me, hahahah! Punks these days. I tell ya.”

“Uouo. Uouo, uououououo, uououououououououououo. Uououo, ‘Uouo Uo’. Uouououououo, uououo, uouououououououo. Uououououououo? Uouououououououo.”

“Really now?”

“Uo! Uououououo, uouououououououououo…”

“Hmmm. Sounds interesting. I never knew I had such a fan. What do you think I should do?”

“Uououououo.”

“Wanna come along?”

“Uouo.”

“Hmmm…”


13:37
Shadaloo Base
Lunchtime.

Dan presses the skull shaped doorbell. There was a scream, and a small hole in the door opens and two eyes peer out at him.

“Vat the hell are you doing and vat do u vant?!!!”

“I have arrived to participate in your campaign. It must have taken a huge amount of work and money to develop this place, and I’m proud to say I approve of it! And it’s nice to know that you have chosen to call it the ‘Saiko Drive’! I’m sure you’re happy that I’m finally here, and that we can complete this thing together!”

The hole slides shut, and Dan can make out whispers from behind the door.

“He soundz mad. He says he vants to join us.”
“Well, send him away then.”
“But, he knows about the Psycho Drive!”
“He does? Did he mention anything about pay?”
“No.”
“Ok, let him in, let’s see what we can do with him.”

The hole in the door opens up again.

“Hey you. Veird guy, come in. But use the proper entrance to your left. And next time, don’t turn off the vater heater like you did just now! Ve are taking baths here! Now vait for a moment”

Dan waits patiently, admiring the scenery. The view isn’t too bad, nice trees, beautiful flowers. He thought that it all looked so natural, this might as well have been a secret base that was supposed to be hidden from plain sight.

Another door opens, and a man wrapped in a towel emerges.

“You, come here. I vill arrange a meeting for you vith our troop head, and later after you get out of those dirty clothes, you eat with us.”

“I’m actually here to meet your leader. I have an important message to him.”

“Our leader?”

“Yes, how should I address him?”

“Vhere are you from?”

“I just came over from America…”

“His great name is M.Bison.”

“but I’m originally from Japan”

“Oh, in zat case call him Vega.”

“???”

“Vat.”

“Nothing. How soon can I meet him?”

“Vell, actually, since you came here to meet him, I guess you’ll see him right after you vake up.”

“You mean tommorow morning?”

“No, I mean…”

The man takes out a tazer gun and shocks Dan unconscious.

“…after you vake up.”


16:51
Shadaloo Base
Afternoon Tea Time

Dan wakes up with a headache.

“Oooh, I have a headache”

And wonders where he is.

“Where am I?”

His vision starts to clear, and he sees a person…

“That’s very nice metal shoulder pads you have there!”

Vega gets startled and drops his china cup.

It crashes very softly.

“LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! THAT’S MY FAVOURITE CHINA TEACUP!”

Dan stands up. His stomach growls.

“Are you Vega?”

“Yes I am, you fool!”

“Hey you don’t even know me, why start cussin me?”

“BECAUSE YOU BROKE MY FAVOURITE CHINA TEACUP!!!”

And in a fit of rage Bison powers up a Psycho Ball and throws it with all his might toward Dan.

“PSYCHO BALL!”

Dan’s ears perk up at the name, and at the last moment, gathers enough Ki and throws his own

“GADOKEN!”

and neutralises the Psycho Ball.

After the momentary flash as the two masses of energy collide, Vega opens his eyes to see Dan grinning from ear to ear.

“Why you cheeky little man, you named that the Saiko Ball? I’m touched, really, I never knew that I had such a powerful fan, you must have bought all my correspondence tapes and…”

“It’s you!”

Dan stops in mid sentence. Vega had a look of disbelief on his face and slowly Dan came to a realisation.

“Oh, haha! It’s me, yes, my, you know me without knowing my name, not really a surpise, I mean you must have some of my signed photographs since you bought…”

“You must be the one I was looking for all this time.”

Vega gets up from his throne and walks slowly toward Dan.

“Well, yes of course I am, naturally, I mean, you’ve named so much after my style It’s quite obvious that…”

“And you want to Join me?”

“Why, of course, this is whats its all about isn’t it?”

“Here I am sending my men out to look for you and you appear right at my doorstep, To Join Me?”

“Wow, I didn’t realise you had men looking for m…”

“Troop Leader Sigma, call off the search for Project SNMR, we have found him! We have found Ryu!”

A tall blonde caucasian man steps out from the shadows,

“Yes Master Bison.”

And disappears into the shadows.

Dan stood proud, soaking himself in all the attention, when it hit him.

“Eh, What did that guy just call you?”

And then another thing hit him.

“Eh, what did you just call me?”

“Ryu, please, take a seat, I have great plans for you.”

“Hold on there big boy Vega, Bison, whatever, I’m not Ryu, my name’s Dan. I’m here to grace your campaign, the ‘Saiko Drive’, remember? Can’t you read the name on the correspondence tapes, it say ‘Dan’, D-A-N ‘Dan’. I know you’re my biggest fan and all but you sure seem disrespectful to me. I appreciate that you have great plans for me, but you haven’t even heard the great things yet to come. I present to you, MY original plans for the Saiko Ryu! I think that first of all you have to get rid of that silly hat and…”

Dan’s voice trails off as he notices Vega clutching his head, as if something had gotten hold of him. He stands motionless as Vega falls to the ground, and a blue glow envelops him. He clutches at his chest and moans in pain as the glow gets brighter, and his eyes start burning green.The guards rush out and shouts for others to help:

“Hurry, bring him to the Psycho Drive, he’s lost control again!”

A man in a lab coat runs in and takes a reading off a little contraption in his hands.

“Hmmm, he’s had a momentary surge of power, I don’t know what caused it, but carry him in now, and hurry.”

“Eaaarrghhh!!!”

Vega’s screams echoes through the hall.

The Shadaloo guards try to pick Vega up, but are struggling because of his convulsions. His heavy set frame and the energy from the glow make it difficult even for the guards to lift him. Dan walks forward and winces at the feeling he gets from the bluish aura, but he nevertheless bends down and says to the guards :

“Hurry, drag him and place him on my back, I’LL carry him.”

The nearest guard, being at a loss of what to do, complies and helps to lift Vega’s upper body onto Dan’s back. Dan automatically grabs Vega’s arms, and stands to his feet

“Uuurrrmmmphhhh!!!”

The doctor motions toward an exit :

“This way!”

Dan follows the doctor as he runs down the corridor.

“Not good, it seems like the energy levels are rapidly increasing, what’s causing this?”

“EEAAARRRGGGGHHH!!”

Once again Vega screams.

“That…IMBECILE!!!”

BECILE…becile…cile…cil…
The echoes ring through the hallway as they continue running to the Psycho Drive Compound.


17:45
Shadoloo Central Area
PSD

“Is he going to be all right?”

Dan stares at the figure floating in the middle of a circular column of light. The body hangs in mid-air, unsupported.

“Yes, he’s going to be fine. As long as the previous trigger to his attack doesn’t appear again, he should stay stable for the time being.”

“Wow, so, umm, is he okay now? When can he be, umm, discharged?”

“No no, he’s fine now, the extra energy has already been diverted and his body has already been regulated. We’re just letting him sleep for the moment, it IS his afternoon nap time now anyway, and what’s more comfortable than hanging in mid air weightless?”

“Ok, glad to see he’s fine then. So this is part of the Saiko Drive? This machine?”

“No, it IS the Psycho Drive, what do you mean you don’t even know about this?”
“Say,” said the doctor, “I’ve not seen you before, who are you?”

“Pleased to meet you, My family name is Hibiki. You can call me… Dan.”

Vega’s eyes fly open and another scream tears through room as his subconscious recognises the name even though he’s deep in slumber.

“IDIIIEEEEEOT!”

He floats down from the column of light and stands between the Doctor and Dan.

“You broke my teacup!”

Dan takes a step back.

“You waste my time!”

Dan takes another step back.

“And you almost cost me my life!”

Dan, feeling quite pissed at this point, retaliates.

“Look. You dropped the teacup on your own, if you have big clumsy hands, maybe you should be using plastic cups instead, or better yet, use a baby bottle in case you drop it so you don’t spill anything. Ever since I’ve come here all I’ll I’ve seen is you getting into all sorts of trouble for yourself, and you haven’t given me an explanation for that little shock your man gave me back there, it’s really uncalled for and I think you should stop looking at me with those evil eyes, or else you’ll act up again…”

Vega’s was in fact, acting up again. However he decided to put he excess energy to good use.

“PSYCHOO CRUSHERRRRR!!!”

Dan’s eyes go wide open as Vega takes a step forward and a Blue flame envelops his body. Dan stumbles backward when he realises that Vega is actually Flying Right At Him .

The view suddenly changes of that to the ceiling as Dan trips backward over a bunch of cables on the ground, just in time to witness Vega’s Blue body fly right over his, missing his nose by mere inches. Dan rolls away and crouches, and looks as Vega lands at the far end of the room.

“Hey Vega, I didn’t teach that in ANY of my correspondence courses. Is Honda selling those too? You can’t learn from TWO masters you know, it’s bad for you!”

Vega stares at Dan in disbelief (The second time today). He shakes his head and swears he’ll get the fool who sent this walking practical joke to him. He decides to put an end to this and concentrates on his Psycho Energy as he charges his body for the final attack…

“Mega…Psycho…”

The alarms sound.
Red lights start flashing as a loud voice signals “Red Alert, Red Alert!”

The main screen flickers on and the face of Troop Leader Omega appears.

“Sir, we have reports of the U.N. Strike force converging on our base, awaiting your orders sir.”

Vega runs toward the monitor.

“How did they find us?”

“The report from our insider at their camp states, sir, that when you recalled the search troop of Project SNMR, they all made their way back to base sir. The U.N must have noticed the simultaneous movements of our men and just drew the lines of the paths they took. They all converged at this point sir. And thats how they found us.”

'The Fools! Couldn’t they have made it less obvious?"

“Actually sir, it was your plan to have them all return immediatly using the quickest route. Your words were, if I remember “Once we have Ryu, nothing can stop us. Have the men return in the quickest fashion and we’ll proceed to the Final phase of the project.”. We await your orders sir. The bombardment from their fighter planes would be our first concern. Nash was sighted to be heading this mission, sir.”

Vega rubbed his temples and swirled around, cape flying and all, and pointed at where Dan was

“This is ALL YOUR FA…”

Except, Dan had disappeared.


10:12
Some Weeks later
Breakfast at Blanka’s

“And that’s when I decided to leave. Imagine that! Learning from two masters at once, where’s the respect?”

“Uouo, uouououououououououououo, uo?”

“Yeah, he does, doesn’t he. After all, he did name all his moves after Saiko Style.”

“Uououououououo?”

“Maybe. If fate has it that way.”

Dan gave a sigh.

Blanka patted his back, and offered him another banana shake.


#2

hahahhahahahhahahahaha

really funny man… Psycho=saiko… hah hahahahahha


#3

hahahahhhaaa thats just rich, hey can you do a fan fic on something that happens with gouki in it, and that gouki actually talks.


#4

Should I change Saiko back to Saikyo? It’s actually wrong. Hmmmm…
ponders about editing.