The SRK Manhunt Crew: Vol. 1


#1

DING

At the sound of the elevator bell, cheers rung out all over the base. All of the hard work they had accomplished…all of the lives they lost…all of the tears they had shed…it all made sense to them now. Together, they had no doubt in their purpose. That together they could make a difference.

But that was until the elevator door opened. Only one soldier, who was soaked in blood, came limping out of the door, leaving his dead colleagues behind in the tiny compartment. He was dragging the prize in a black Santa-Claus like sack, which was scraping up the ground as it hesitantly moved. To say it weighted a ton was a great understatement.

“We need medical now!!!”

In seconds, teams of paramedics came rushing in to treat the fallen victims. The lone soldier just shook its head as they passed him.

“It’s no use. Just let them rest.” he wispered, right before his eyes went back into his sockets, and he collapsed from the blood loss.

Watching the scene from a command center above, two figures stood in awe of their accomplishment.

“I c…can’t believe we managed to do it.”

“But look at how much it cost us. And we still have so much work to do…”

“So, what’s the next move? They must be aware of our activities now…especially after this.”

“…Get ‘Beast’ on the phone. I think it’s time we start Plan B…”

“…Shit.” Once again Rock awoke to find his body on the cold floor. It was bad enough that he had to be here in the first place, but he couldn’t even bring his sleeping chamber with him. He stood himself up, smirking slightly at the impression his weight made on the marble floor from falling off the bed before putting on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “I will never understand how humans sleep on these things.”

He looked around the hotel room, trying to figure out what should he do with himself now that he was, for all rights and purposes, sentenced here.

“What does a android do on vacation?? Hmmm…” The question rolled around in his electronic brain until he noticed something sitting on the counter. That damn bottle of medicine.

“Damn Mavericks!!” Out of fustration Rock shot at it, only to have the bottle reflect the shot with unknown vigorance. Conditioned reflexes made it easy for Rock to dodge the shot, but the wall behind him wasn’t so lucky. After the noise subsided, he turned around to see a freaked out and suprisingly beautiful naked brunette staring at him.

“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM???” she screamed, forsaking covering herself up in order to lauch several volleys of shoes at him. Rock evaded them effortlessly, his eyes somehow not leaving the woman’s figure.

“Umm…My fault. Are those real??”

“Hell no!” She screamed as she stepped into his room and started poking him with her finger, her blind rage ignoring the pain that Rock’s titanium body was doing to it. “And you better take a good look because this is as close as your gonna get!!”

“Uh…I’m sor…!” His apology was stopped short as the woman thrusted her palms against the android, sending flying out of a window and onto the hotel entrance, right in front of a young man wearing a business suit. A WTF look crossed his face until he noticed the familiar imprint in Rock’s chest.

“Hey, wake up!! We got to get out of here now!!!”

“Wha…” Rock tried to answer, but he was still stunned from the attack. Whatever that girl hit him with was nothing he ever felt during his adventures as a Maverick Hunter. If he had a heart, it probably would be busted by now. If he was a tree, he probably would now be enough paper to supply all high schools in the world for 3 years.

“GET. THE. FUCK. UP!!!” The guy yanked the android to his feet, and the two started running for their lives.

“What was that, Mr…” Rock’s headache cleared several minutes later, and with it came new questions for the young man.

“Call me ‘Tragic’, and what you saw, Mega Man X, was…”

“Call me Rock, okay?”

“Whatever. What you saw was not a person, supernatural being, cyborg, or even a god. It was a…Top Tier.”

A suprised look crossed Rock’s face, and then looked at Tragic in a intense sort of way."…What’s that?"

“HUH???” Tragic nearly crashed into a car and pissed in his pants when Rock showed no knowledge of the Top Tier Caste System “What the hell do you mean by that??? Top Tiers are the embodiment of life and death! Order and Chaos! The god’s themselves lick the boots of the Top Tier for free, is what I’m saying!” Tragic then looked upon Rock with wonderment and a desperate hope that the reploid couldn’t precieve. “Do you mean to say that…Top Tiers…don’t exist in your world?”

“Nope. At least I don’t think so…”

“Wwwwoooooooooooooww. That’s paradise.” Tragic’s eyes obtained the glossy eyed anime look. Rock hoped that the guy wasn’t going to start humping his leg or anything. “Come with me. There’s somebody I want you to meet.”

10 minutes later the pair made it to their destination. Taco Bell.

“Out of curiosity, why a Taco Bell?” Rock said.

“Because the Top Tiers would never step foot in here. They think it’s beneath them, so it makes the perfect base.” Tragic led Rock behind the counter, pressed the processed cheese handle which called a hidden elevator by the bathroom, and then stepped inside. After several moments, they stepped into an area that looked much like a cross between an arcade and CTU[1]. As they headed to the main office, he noticed that there was a memorial cerimony being held for some people.

“What’s this all about?”

Tragic sighed. “All for the cause. You’ll see.”

When they finall got to the room, Rock saw two people in black suits sitting down with a couple of others: Two teenage guys and a young woman, all dressed in strange outfits. The guys in black stood up to shake hands with Rock before they noticed the imprint in his chest. They both quickly turned to Tragic, who shook his head.

“Yes, and no. We shouldn’t have to deal with that for a while.”

“Hopefully you’re right.” One of the guys said. “Nice to meet you X. You can call me ‘Inkblot’.” He pointed to his partner, who was on the phone ordering security to be doubled for the next 2 hours. “This is ‘Ponder’. Sorry about the intrusion, but we need to get straight to the point.”

“Which is?” Rock asked.

“We want to hire you four to hunt Top Tiers for us…no. For the good of all that’s right in the world.” Inkblot said. “We know it’s an unusual request, but…”

“…It’s only a matter of time before they get out of hand.” Ponder continued. “They have already taken over all types of media. Video games, TV, Movies…who knows what’s next. If left unchecked…”

“…It’s the end of our universe as we know it. Trust us, one of them was destroying them left and right a couple of days ago.” Inkblot pointed to a glass case mounted on the wall. Inside of it was an arm of gigantic proportions, which was still moving about slightly. The label read: ‘C.FP. DO NOT TOUCH!!!’ “It took most of our forces to finally bring him down, but the only thing we could do was seperate him from his power.”

“We know you all have beef with Top Tiers.” The three other hunter prospects nodded their heads slightly at Ponder’s statement. " That’s why I’m hoping you will help us get rid of them. Of course, we won’t have you jump straight into it immediately…"

“Wait a minute. I don’t have any beef with them…”

“Oh really? If that girl you met today wasn’t enough…” Inkblot threw him a picture of someone, which caused Rock’s eyes to grow wide.

“What the hell???”

“I take it you’re interested?”

“Damn straight!”

“Good. Well then, your first assignment is…” Inkblot pushed a button on his desk, turning on a TV to show the first target.

“…Robocop?” Ponder looked at Ink like he was Tyrone Biggums[2]. “What the fuck does Robocop have to do with Top Tiers?!”

“Think about it! Robocop started as this fancy cyborg shit! Do you expect them to start off fighting Sentinel? Hell no! Besides he lives right down the street. AND he owes me $50 bucks.” Ponder sighed.

“I’m saying, If you wanna test them out, have them go after the Terminator! He would own Robocop.”

“What? Terminator gets his ass whooped every movie, AND he got bullied by a snot nosed kid. Besides, I don’t want them getting Arnold by mistake. Killing him might make my taxes go up.”

“…True. Okay, First assignment, kill Robocop! Have fun?”

First Mission

Objective: Destroy Robocop!

Still quite popular with the cops and even the hoodrats, Robocop still serves the mean streets of LA with cyborg justice! As part of a PR program, he is now living in a apartment right in the middle of Asian territory(if there is one in LA), and he is even allowing them to upgrade his weaponry…among other things. Do a good job in this mission so you can impress Inkblot and Ponder!

Remember:

Only the host(Me) can kill off the Objective. Since this is a trial run you may right things about what Robocop does as you wish. If it goes well I may make it permanent.

Each person has 3 posts of material that they may write. The session ends in a week or whenever everyone is finished writing, which ever comes first.

New people may come in and write, as long as you understand the rules in the sign up thread. I will regard you later.

Notes:

[1]: Please see the ‘24’ thread for more details.
[2]: Watch Chappelle’s Show. You’re missing out.


#2

Funny stuff! I’ll research Remy and Feilong’s Moves before I start. Not sure I can live up to the high standard you set but I’ll give it the old College try.


#3

Since it’s been a week and no one has written anything(or gave any indication that they was held up with stuff), I gotta ask:

IS ANYONE GONNA HELP ME WITH THIS SHIT???

Chris: The more the merrier.


#4

Hey, I was planning on starting all along, just had to wait until a few things cleared up is all. Say sano’s a bad Fan Fic writer if you want, but don’t say he’s lazy and he doesn’t keep his word at least.

My Fic will be a bit ‘side storyish’, but it will end in three sessions and I’m gonna try my best to finish the whole thing this week. My next Post on this Thread will kick things off!


#5

sano’s session 1 - “Kowloon Castlemania: Symphony of the Light!”

In an underground Fighting Arena in Hong Kong’s Kowloon Castle Area, hordes of fans were cheering like they just saw Janet Jackson’s nipple. In the Center Ring, Remy just finished beating the living daylights out of Joe. As Joe from the first Street Fighter Tournament began to rise up (he had a lot to live for as he was going to be the next bachelor on ‘Average Joe’) and get up on one knee, Remy tossed a Light of Virtue Projectile at the poor shmuck and decapiated him. The crowd went ballistic as those who bet money on Remy went to claim there winnings.

An Announcer stepped into the Ring and declared, “Ladies and Gentleman, the winner of the Kowloon Castle Street Fighter Tournament is, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” The Announcer handed a Trophy to the Frenchman. Remy took the Trophy and the microphone from the Announcer. He waited for the crowd to pipe down from all of their cheering. Soon after, Remy lifted the Trophy and slammed it into the Announcer’s head killing him and shattered the Trophy into pieces. The crowd gasped in utter horror as the SF3 Third Strike character lifted the microphone to his lips about to speak.

“You are all fools. I joined this Tournament for the oppurtunity to kill as many Street Fighters as possible. They are the scum of the Earth. My Father, a Street Fighter abandoned me and my sister in her hour of need for a foolish quest to become stronger. But the problem doesn’t end with killing Street Fighters. It’s these crowds of Gamblers that support them financially that are also part of the problem. Therefore, I am going to kill every man in this room.”

Remy dropped the microphone and held his arms out like a scarecrow. He began to spin around and Light of Virtue Projectiles began to fly out from him all over the place. The Audience tried to run out and leave, but it was useless because the projectiles severed heads, limbs, and cut hole bodies in half. Sure enough just like the blue haired man stated, he had killed every man in the room, all 478 of them.

Crashing through the wall of the Arena was a Limousine. The Limo drove over all of the corpses until it was close to the Center Ring. This was Fei-Long’s preferred method of travel because he felt (and he was fairly alone in his thinking…) that he was such a big Movie Star it was beneath him to actually walk anywhere. The man billed as the next Jet Li stepped out of the Limo.

“So, Remy.” Spoke Fei-Long. “Once again you let your anger get the best of you. Looks like I’ll have to teach you a lesson.” “This isn’t a Movie, Fei-Long. If you loose this match their won’t be a Sequel.” The Actor answered the Frenchman saying, “Just as well. My Sequels never make as much money as the originals.” and leaped into the Center Ring. Remy attempted to punch Fei-Long in the face and the Kung Fu practitioner attempted to kick Remy’s stomach, but inches before either of the two blows could connect, something stranger than Pauley Shore winning the Academy Award for best Actor occured.

Fei-Long’s chinese slipper on his extended leg began flashing red, and so did Remy’s hair. The two said, “Excuse me.” and turned their backs to one another. Fei-Long removed the slipper from his foot and raised an Antenna from it’s heel for it was actually a Phone. Remy removed his wig revealing that he was completly bald. He also raised an Antenna from the wig and held it to his ear. Both Fighters spoke into their respective phones and said, “Reporting for duty, Sir.”

The phone Call was coming from Kaiba Seto who had them all in a three way call. Seto’s Kaiba Corporation was also aiding in bringing Top Tiers down. Fei-Long and Remy were two Kaiba Corporation agents with Low Tier Status. While it may seem that Remy is powerfull, against Top Tiers he is actually very weak indeed, and he can only defeat those in his Tier Status or lower.

Kaiba spoke. “Don’t tell me you two Low Tiers are fighting again?” Remy began to look around for some sort of hidden camera in the Arena and asked, “How could you possibly know that? Are we on Jaime Kennedy’s Experiment?” “There’s nothing the Kaiba Corporation doesn’t know, now listen up. I have an Assignment for you two Bozos. You must take out the Top Tier known as Jedah.” Feilong asked, “Jedah? The king of Damn Nation?” Seto replied, “That’s correct you no talent hack. You’re to go to Jedah’s Damn Nation. He’s working on creating a Tippy Top Tier and we can not allow that to come to pass. Since no one can step foot on Damn Nation’s soil without being cast into flames, you must take a hovercraft and fly above his castle to Teleport into his Throne Room. This has to be a nice, clean hit. No mistakes, like the time you let Bottom Feeder Tier Dan get away.”

“Roger.” said the two as they hung up. Fei-Long placed his slipper back on his foot and Remy adjusted his wig. The Movie Star spoke to the Frenchman, “Truce, for now. But when this is over we settle our dispute once and for all. Lee! convert to Hovercraft Mode!” Lee, the Limo driver pushed a button and the Limousine transformed into a Hovercraft faster than you can say ‘don’t tell me Capcom is rehashing Street Fighter 2 once again.’ The two were on their way.

Kaiba Seto sat in his office with a perplexed look on his face, like he was wondering if the Robin on Cartoon Network’s Teen Titans was Dick Grayson or Tim Drake. His little brother Mokuba was kneeling across from Seto’s desk on one knee and asked, “Big Brother, how did you know those two were fighting?” Kaiba turned two TV screens that were on both sides of his desk so Mokuba could see them. One Screen showed Remy sticking out his tongue while the other showed Fei-Long sticking out his middle finger. “Unbeknownst to these two Nimrods, our scientist Spiral replaced both of their right eyes with cameras that allows us to see their every move. With our powerful Bio Nano Technology, they can’t tell the difference. There’s no way these two Low Tiers can actually defeat Jedah, but with their implanted Hidden Cameras they’ll help me gather information. Also as a back up I’m sending Mid Tier Sagara Sanosuke. He doesn’t have a Camera in his eye, but Spiral placed a microscopic one on his Headband. After he fails as well, I’ll have enough information to take Jedah out myself. He won’t stand a chance against my secret weapon.”

From his Duel Monsters Deck, Seto held out a Playing Card and showed it to his younger brother. Mokuba yelled out, “OH NO! NOT SNOBELISK THE DOOR BENDER! I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A CORNY PLOT FROM A SATURDAY MORNING ANIME BUT IF YOU PLAY THAT CARD THE WORLD MAY ACTUALLY END!” Seto held out another card and said, “Don’t worry. I also have the ‘Bring the World Back to Life Card.’ Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the Bathroom.”

The Head of the Large Corporation got up to walk to the Toilet. As he walked past his younger sibling Mokuba asked, “Big Brother, can I wipe your butt?” Seto pondered, “Hmmm. I don’t know. Have you finished all your Homework?” “Yes Seto. Pleeeease?” Seto agreed, “Okay Little Brother. Let’s go.” as he continued to walk to the Jon. Mokuba began joyfully dancing and singing, “ALL RIGHT! Who’s the butt wiper? Who’s the butt wiper? I’m the butt wiper! I’m the butt wiper!” “MOKUBA HURRY UP! I HAD EGGS, BEANS AND BANANAS FOR DINNER!” And the younger brother responded joyfully to Seto’s screams, “Coming, Seto.”

Next up: The Miracle of Child Birth, sort of. Stay Tooned!


#6

remy don’t kill people :confused:

edit : oh man , forget reading it


#7

I know. Comedic creative license… He’s not really bald either nor does he work for Kaiba Seto. I’m just having fun here.


#8

sano’s session 2: “Three Men and an Oversized Baby!”

In the futuristic city of Neo Brooklyn, Sagara Sanosuke sat in Dr. Megumi’s medical room at the main Kaiba Corporation building as she was removing bandages from his right hand. Sanosuke was wearing blue acid washed baggy jeans that were riped in various places. He was also sporting all black Reebok Sneakers, a white T-Shirt and a black leather jacket that had his ‘wicked’ kanji on his back in white. Sano was also wearing his eternal red headband. Sticking out from his front right jean pocket was the handle of his Zanbato blade, only the handle was about a foot long. Megumi was dressed as a typical twentieth century doctor.

“You should be able to use your right hand again, but you have to take it easy. Honestly, using Futae No Kiwami on Adamantium. Someone must of spiked your chicken feed that day, Rooster Boy.” Sanosuke objected, “He was asking for it, claiming he’s the best there is at what he does. There was no Adamantium in his neck or his stomach and a few wind slicing moves I learned from Shouzu the Kung-Fu preist took him out good!” “You won the fight? The way I remember it, he was up and about in a half hour and you were in the hospital for three months.” questioned the Docter to which the young gangster answered, “Him and his damn healing factor! That Canuckle head was still the first to get knocked out and that’s why I won the fight, Fox Lady!” “I haven’t had a patient this dumb since George W. Bush was one of my regulars. How did a braindead moran like you ever wind up working for the Kaiba corporation?”

“I’ll let you know Fox Lady even though you learned your bedside manner from Freddy Kreuger.” That comment caused Megumi to punch Sanosuke on the top of his head and call him “Stupid!” as the young yakuza went on speaking. “I got into a bit of trouble when I walked into Newt Gingrich’s Office and kicked his Ass. The Police chased me all over Neo Brooklyn. Kaiba Seto offered to get me off the hook if I worked for him for a year. He even settled my tab at Tae’s McDonalds Restaurant!”

Megumi placed a golden snap on wrist bracelet on Sano’s left arm. “Where you’re going, you’ll need this. As I understand it, Remy and Fei-Long are going to teleport into Jedah’s castle, but since you’ll be arriving on land as back up, this bracelet will protect you from the curse that afflects anyone who steps on Damn Nation’s Soil.” After a breif pause, the woman who graduated from Med School at the age of 15 looked down sadly. “Sanosuke, I’m begging you for the last time. Run away. You won’t stand a chance against Jedah. He’s a Top Tier and he’ll rip you to shreds.”

Sanosuke passionatly stated, “I’ve never run away from a fight and I’m not about to start running now. To battle against an opponent stronger than you are, to go to the place where your soul is burned out and continue to stand up and fight without an ounce of strength in your body, to push yourself to the edge and beyond, that’s what fighting is all about. If there’s anyone that should leave Kaiba Corp it’s you. Seto’s never gonna help you find your family.”

An angry Megumi yelled, “That’s not true! He has Detective Clumsy Smurf working night and day!” Sanosuke rose up to leave the office and walk out the door as he quiped, “Yeah, Detective Clumsy Smurf. I heard after a two year search he finally found his magnifying glass.” The Docter grabbed the nearest book off her extensive bookshelf and threw it at the gangster. “GET OUT YOU YAKUZA SCUM!” Sanosuke dodged the book and caught it. “What’s this book doing in a Docter’s Office? ‘The Ansatsuken Kid?’ I didn’t know you were into the Comedy Classics. How 'bout I promise to return this on my next visit, Doc.” he said as he turned and smiled before walking out. Megumi said to herself out loud, “He better come back, or I’ll never forgive him. Hmph. Why should I care? I’m in love with Himura Kenshin. So what if Kenshin took out a restraining order against me, is married to Kaoru and is dying of AIDS. We can work it out…”

Jedah’s Damn Nation is an island that rests in the center of the Bermuda Triangle. The Island was created as a prison for some of the World’s worst criminals. Jedah took over the Island converting the Jail House into his own Castle, and cursed all of the prisoners so that anyone who touched the soil would spend an eternity burning alive, for Jedah felt that was a more adequate punishment for their crimes. Over time, the islanders developed their own society, even under such harsh conditions. Here’s a typical conversation heard from some of the island’s inhabitants as they carried out their day to day tasks while burning alive 24/7.

DELIVERY MAN WESKER: AAAAAAAH! IT HURTS! (Rings Doorbell to a home.)
GANON: (opens the door) AAAAAAAH! WHEN WILL THE PAIN END! CAN I HELP YOU? AAAAAAAH!
WESKER: AAAAAAAAH! JUST SIGN FOR THIS PACKAGE! OOOOH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!
GANON: (Signs for package and accepts the gift) OWE! OWE! OWE! THANKS! FINALLY GOT MY STUDIO UDON CHUN-LI BUST! HOT! HOT! HOT! THANK YOU!
WESKER: JESUS RICE! I CAN’T STAND THE PAIN! HAVE A NICE DAY SIR! AAAAAAAAH!

Jedah was in his Throne Room that also housed a large 100 foot tall Fetus, who appeared to be sleeping and had a huge baby bottle in his hand. The bottle was called Majigen and contained the souls of may fighters from High Tiers, to Mid Tiers, to Low Tiers. Among them were the Andore Family, the entire cast of Killer Instinct, and Kensou and Bao. Jedah thought to himself, “All I require is the souls of 2 low Tiers, and once the Fetus drinks all the souls it can awaken as a Tippy Top Tier and under our control there will be no stopping the Top Tiers! Now, where can I find two Low Tiers?” And as if on que, Remy and Fei-Long beamed down to the throne Room to face Jedah at that moment!

“Ah, looks like the Dark Gods have smiled upon me indeed! One of you even has the stench of a mass murderer. Know that I’m not as weak as those other men you killed. I will end your lives as quickly as possible.”

Fei-Long struck Jedah with his Rekka Ken Punch Combo and followed that with a Rekkukyaku Hop kick, but this attack was as useless on Jedah as a mosquito trying to sting a turtle shell. The Dark Messiah’s Deto=Lamentale Medium Punch move was enough to back Fei-Long off as the Vampire Savior’s extended fingers clawed deep ito the Movie Star’s chest leaving four holes. Next, Remy began to spin around again firing many Light of Virtue Projectiles at Jedah, but it was like firing spitballs at a Tank. Jedah’s Dio=cega Projectile went straight at the frenchman who tried to dodge and paid the price as the two blades chopped his left foot clean off! Remy fell to the ground and yelled for his dear life! Fei-Long then struck Jedah with his Shein Renkyakyu Super Dragon Kick, but this also had no effect on the Top Tier who performed his San=Passale on the actor causing his heart to explode! Fei-Long’s last words were, “Uugh. I guess I’m not going to be on this season of the Surreal Life opposite the now washed up actor Mel Gibson after all.”

Remy was stunned as he declared, “This… is a real Top Tier! A Fighter through and through that represents everything I hate! He… must be killed by my hands even at the cost of my life!” Remy leaped on his one good foot and kneed Jedah in the chest as the Third Strike Character began his Blue Nocturne Super Art as best as he could while he was bleeding to death. This Assortment of punches and kicks that ended in a Sommersault tickled Jedah and caused him to laugh. Jedah ended the fight with his Purova=Dei=Cervo Super. A huge bloody hand rose from blood Jedah sprayed on the floor that poured out of his index finger. The bloody hand grabbed Remy, knocked him around and slammed his body on an oversized contract that came out of nowhere. Remy said, “Sister… I tried to illiminate the world of Fighters… but I have failed… I… will be joining you soon.” Remy vomited a large amount of blood and died on the spot.

Lee was hovering with the now floating Limo above the castle. He secretly had access to the cameras in Remy and Fei-Long’s eyes and witnessed everything in the car via two screens. The Street Fighter 1 character nobody wants to see return in Street Fighter 4 (Trust me, I did a six month pole on this at SRK a while back) said, “Screw Kaiba protecting me from the Chinese Mafia! I’m getting the Hell out of here!” Lee pushed the poultry button on the Limo’s control Panel. The Limo transformed into a big robotic chicken and flew far far away.

Moments later, with Remy and Fei-Long’s souls now in the Majigen Baby Bottle, Jedah used his dark powers to force the Fetus to inhale them all. “SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!” the Top Tier kept repeating. After drinking all of the souls the Fetus opened its eyes. A Tippy Top Tier was born, and he was the strongest Tier in the world!

Next up - I asked Old Dirty Bastard what he thought about what’s coming next. Here’s what he sang -

Big Baby Fetus
I can’t wait!
N***a F***k that
I CAN’T WAIT!
Big Baby Fetus
I can’t wait!
N***a F***k that
I CANT WAIT!

(What you mean you don’t know what ODB song I’m spoofing? Buy his second Album! I can’t be the only one who has it! Say no to drugs, kiddies! You may grow up to become a bad Fan Fic writer…)


#9

sano’s session 3: “View from the Top Tier!”

Jedah kneeled down before the huge Fetus and proclaimed, “Oh, exalted Tippy Top Tier. I am Jedah your loyal servant. Do with me as you will.”

The big Fetus who appears in Jedah’s background in Vampire Savior stood up and began to scream at the top of his lungs.

“MY NAME IS NOT TIPPY TOP TIER. MY NAME IS 2D FANBOY CRYBABY! WHEN ARE CAPCOM AND SNK GONNA STOP RE-USING SPRITES? WHEN’S MORRIGAN GONNA GET A NEW SPRITE? ABOUT FREAKING TIME THE MVS BOARD DIED! WHEN’S ANDY GONNA BE IN A CROSSOVER GAME? HOW DARE SNK KILL SHERMIE! SOMEONE TELL A CERTAIN POSTER AT SHORYUKEN.COM WHOSE FOUR LETTER NET NAME BEGINS WITH A LOWER CASE ‘S’ AND ENDS WITH AN ‘O’ THAT RYU AND CHUN-LI WILL NEVER HOOK UP! AND WHERE THE HELL IS STREET FIGHTER 4? WAAAAAAAAAAH!” cried the large Fetus.

Jedah had no answers for 2D Fanboy Crybaby as it cried even more while jumping up and down during his tantrum. The 100 Foot Baby grew another 200 Feet and utterly destroyed the castle.

That Night, all of the ablazed island’s inhabitants left there houses to see the huge crying baby. In a scene reminiscent of Gulliver’s Travels, the baby took a leak on all of the islanders. His Magical Golden Discharge put out all of their inflamed bodies!

Free from Jedah’s curse, all of the island’s Video Game villains began to rejoice. King Bowser and Dr. Eggman were breakdancing. Vega used his Psycho Power to create an amazing fireworks show. After years of hiding the truth, Dr. Wily yelled that he actually knew whatever happened to Robot Jones. King Dee Dee Dee approached the glass jar in the town’s center square and proposed to Mother Brain. Liquid Snake went heavy on the liquid and drank and entire three liter bottle of Root Beer. Shadow Link finally mustered up the courage and gave Ganon a wedgie stating “I’m Link’s Arch Enemy, not you!” Poison and Wesker started making out. Castlevania’s Dracula took a bite out of Rugal’s neck and drank some Orochi blood while Rugal just laughed it off. Sephiroth even broke into song singing, “He Ha Ho Ne He Se No E Sin Mo Ne Sephiroth! Sephiroth!” revealing that even he did not know the lyrics to his own song. Oh, it was a grand affair indeed!

But such festivities did not last as the Big Baby Fetus continued to cry and jump up and down causing massive earthquakes. Every villain wound up falling in huge crevises in the Earth caused by the tremors. (Of course, being the great villains that they are none of them actually died but found ways to come back later…) The crying baby was out of control!

Jedah emerged from the rubble of what once was his castle and went after the Tippy Top Tier. The Baby was walking through the island’s forest knocking all the large trees down. Jedah yelled, “2D Fanboy Crybaby! Please calm down!” After hearing this, the Big Baby bent down and laid a huge fart in Jedah’s face! The Vampire Savior turned straight up green as he could not handle the stench. A suitcase that had the sticker “Makai or Bust” appeared in Jedah’s right hand. The Dark Messiah moved a few bushes and found a secret huge green pipe ending sticking out of the ground. “That’s it! I’m out!” he declared as he jumped in the pipe which was a secret Warp Zone back to the Makai.

Sanosuke’s Hovercraft Motorcycle arrived at Damn Nation. He saw the carnage and all of the wreckage along with the Big Baby causing all of the havok. Sano said, “What the…? Did Jedah actually succeed? Don’t tell that’s a Tippy Top Tier! Oh man, I’m in for a serious fight!”

2D Fanboy Crybaby heard the Yakuza’s Hovercraft Motorcycle coming behind him. The inflated fetus bent over and cut the cheese one more time, but this had no effect on Sanosuke whatsoever. “If you think that smells bad you big Rugrat you obviously never had Kaoru’s cooking!” The Crybaby did what he does best and cried “WAAAAAAAAAAH!” as he swung his arms at Sano’s hovering Motorcycle. Sano dodged and flew straight up until he was a good fifty feet above the spoiled soiled brat. He leaped off his bike and took the Zanbato Handle out of his pocket. With a push of a button it was revealed it was a Star Wars Style Lightsaber version of the Zanbato Sword! The young hood came falling down and with the huge electric blade slicing the baby straight down the middle in two ending it’s reign of terror!

Sagara Sanosuke landed on the floor and said, “Well, that was easy enough. Tippy Top Tier My Ass!” as he began to walk away. Suddenly, a bright light emerged form the two cut halves of the fetus on the ground. The Gangster turned to look at the bright light that began to take shape until it formed a small child who looked exactly like Bao and was dressed just like him. The only difference was that instead of wearing that big orange hat Bao wears, the young lad was wearing Kensou’s jacket.

“Are you… Bao? That makes no sense!” asked Sano. The child chuckled, “Like it made sense for Bao to appear on top of Hugo’s head in SVC. No, I’m actually the Dragon God that lives in between Kensou and Bao. I used the fetus’s power to finally come to life. What you destroyed was just a coccoon. I am the real Tippy Top Tier, and you may call me KenBao!”

The real Tippy Top Tier fired a Psycho Ball at Sanosuke, who blocked it with his Zanbato Lightsaber. The Psycho Ball exploded and tossed Sano back while destroying the mighty blade! Next the Gangster ran at the kid with a Futae No Kiwami punch. KenBao countered with an elbow to Sanosuke’s fist and broke every bone in his right arm! The smiling infant said to the yelling Yakuza, “Let me give you a fighting lesson. The elbow is one of the hardest bones to break, especially on someone as strong as me.” The juvenile delinquent diety spun around and kicked Sano breaking a few of his ribs. The man with the ‘wicked’ Kanji on his back slammed into a tree and completly knocked it down. Somehow the Yakuza rose to his feet again and leaped high up to smack KenBao in the head with a left armed elbow strike. The young Dragon God side stepped the attack and caught Sano’s left arm before he could connect. “Ah, attacking with an elbow. You are a quick study. Breaking an elbow’s one thing, but snapping an arm in two is another matter all together.” KenBao did just that and bent Sano’s Arm the way it’s not supposed to bend! It was difficult to hear the loud snap over Sanosuke’s horrid screams! Next KenBao lifted Sano up in the Air by the neck with one hand and electricuted every molecule in his body. Soon after he tossed the young fighter’s seemingly lifeless body away.

KenBao began to laugh hysterically, “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!” You will be the first to die at my hands! There’s nothing you can do now that your arms are useless! I’m a eat you like baloney!" as KenBao exposed his fangs ready to eat the young hero, all seemed lost.

But before the Dragon God could sink his teeth into the young man as he was midair about to punce on him, Sanosuke woke up and yelled, “Fool! I’ve mastered Futae No Kiwami with my entire body! FUTAE NO KIWAMI!” screamed our hero as he performed this deadly blow that can reduce rocks into pebbles with his foot and kicked KenBao in the stomach! All this accomplished however was removing a small peice of KenBao’s clothing and causing a very small cut above his belly button. The Tippy Top Tier told, “HA! HA! HA! Is that all you could do? Now you die!” Yet, it was enough as the souls of all the Tiers trapped inside KenBao’s body began exiting through this small cut! “NO! WAIT! STOP!” yelled the Godling as the souls flew out and returned to the bodies they belonged to. Since each Soul took a bit of KenBao’s power, they were able to enter their respective corpses and repair all physical damage! Most of the souls entered a Graveyard behind where the castle used to stand as the bodies of Tiers began to wake from their graves! Remy and Fei-Long’s bodies were in the castle’s rubble and they rose from it returning back to the land of the living! The Souls continued to pour out of KenBao until he was no more and disappeared yelling into thin air!

Remy asked, “What just happened?” as he found his foot back on his leg and not a single injury on him. Fei-Long said, “I’m not exactly sure, but I think we… died for a little while. I remember… just for a second… I saw the Master and his Son. I was very happy.” Remy replied, “I… always thought that when I died I would be reunited with my sister once again, but the place I visited was very cold and lonely.” Remy shed tears as he wept, “I… have to re-evaluate a lot of things in my life.”

Sanosuke was there lying on the floor unable to move one muscle. He looked up and saw hordes of Kaiba Corp Airplanes coming to his Aid. “Looks like this is another fight I won while ending up in intensive care. Megumi’s gonna get a kick out of this one!” - sano’s session ends.

(Looking back, I did break some of this Site’s Rules, but I’m really bad at sticking to rules and I really wanted someone else to start so I could get more of an idea what was going on. In the end if someone wants to continue, I guess, Robocop’s still on the loose so you can ignore my Fic or if you want, Jedah is still on the loose too, or, maybe another Top Tier could be added or whatever… Ah… hope my terrible writing skills and bad grasp of Rules don’t end this Thread… someone Post Please!)


#10

Sorry, been out of town for the past sereral days, so I’ll update tomorrow if possible.

Remy killing for Kiba Corp? :lol:


#11

“So, let’s see…1 Can of WD-40, a six pack of Corona, a box of Strawberry cake mix, and some Italian bread. Anything else?”

“I require a package Male-To-Female Procreation Preventers.”

“I don’t have…wait, you mean condoms?”

“Affimative.”

The clerk scoffed at what the android called them before he grabbed a package of Trojan Supa Durables from the shelf.

“All together that’ll be $21.78.” When he said the price, he could’ve sworn that he heard a couple of beeps coming from Robocop’s head

“My data tells me that the normal total should be $19.53.” Some more beeps. “You trying to steal my loot, bitch?”

“Wha? N, no sir!” The clerk heartbeat started getting faster as the policeman/android came closer to the counter. He was a victim of a robbery last weekend, and had no desire to relive the experience. “It’s just harder for me to get products than the big stores! I have to mark them up to stay in business!!”

Some more beeps.

"My data indicates that you get a discount on goods because you run your business in a low economically stable enviroment. "

After a couple more beeps, Robocop grabbed the man by his collar and pulled him to his side of the counter. The clerk couldn’t see the android’s eyes, but that didn’t give him enough reason to pee in his pants.

“You trying to shortchange me, motherfucker??? HUH???”

“B…but aren’t you a police officer??”

“FUCK THA POLICE!!!” Robocop then reached for his glock and waved it around, threatening and teasing the clerk.

“Okay! Okay! How about I just sell this stuff to you for $19.53? Will that make you happy??? Huh???”

Couple of beeps. Then Robocop put the man back on his side of the counter, slipped him the twenty, and grabbed the bag with the items.

“Thank you for your support.” The android said as he picked up his change and headed out of Chu’s.

“You’re…welcome?”

“What was that all about?” Rock said to his partners, Mio and Kyosuke, as they watched their target from the park across the street. “I thought Robocop was supposed to be some sort of civil servant?”

“It looks as though he’s been modified.” Kyosuke answered, looking closely at a mark on the target’s right hip. “That tattoo is the mark of the Tagmonkey clan, which is in direct competition with the Shoryuken clan . They deal with all types of modifications. That might explain his behavior…”

“Hmm. You think they are trying to convert him into a top tier?” Rock asked Kyosuke while the latter was wiping off his glasses.

“More than likely. Intellengence reports recently lead to an alliance between them and the Top Tiers. We should follow him…it looks as though he’s headed towards Tagmonkey’s base.”

Since this thread hasn’t gotten the level of participation I wanted, I’ve decided to forsake the rules and just allow everyone to write for it whenever they want to. You can also do side stories like sano has done, as long as it has the same basic ideas as the main story.