The Zombie Apocalypse


A very popular topic on the internet. I thought of some shit to organize.

Try to be realistic about it. Don’t say you’d get a lazer minugun and kill everything.
If the zombie apocalypse were to happen the moment you read this, how prepared would you be? What would be your instant instinct? Would you hole up and hope for the best, would you go out and scavenge before things got worse? Do you know the routes to your local gun shop? Do you already have guns?

So many factors:

[]The outbreak was due to a military chem truck accident. Base the initial zombie population on how much traffic your town/city’s busiest street usually gets.
]Military is in a Cut All Losses state. Will shoot survivors on sight to stop risk of possible infected. However they aren’t patrolling.
[]The zombies don’t have super human abilities. However they still have basic motor skills so that can clumsily run.
] Can infect with bites or scratches.



We’ve already been over this. Well over half of srk would die.


I would kill my wife if she fucked my best friend because she thought I was dead. I can promise that.


Hit up the box, get a raygun. Spend the night at mansions, old nazi bases, fucking africa. You know, the usual.

Real talk though, i got food stocked the fuck up. I don’t think thta zombies would be capable of walking up the stairs/ Even so, i got some long distance ass weapons to make sure that I am good.

A bat
Throwing Knife
X-Box 3shitty


Make the asian guy do all the risky stuff and than continue to treat him like a kid.


Never give your keys to Z-bo…


Make a pact with the dark elder gods and master the ancient art of necromancy.


My plan:
Bite as many people as possible before somebody blows my torso off. Then I’ll use my upper body grappling techniques to take down the guy who shot me in half and some more people before I take about 7-8 shots to the head. 'Go out like a straight up G… virus carrier.


If it happened right now, I would be quite ill prepared. I used to have contingencies in place… not anymore though.


Zombie apocalypse would be fun, I could finally don a blue jacket and walk around with a sword.

And of course steal all of the arcade sticks I’ve ever wanted. Bring it on I say.


I am prepared. I have a cricket bat in my closet. I can use that to play cricket with zombies.


I actually have a bug out bag and some swords. I’m ready.


I really don’t care what I’d do. I can only dream for such a thing to happen. A zombie outbreak is what this world needs, it’s what it deserves.


I’m already preparing for the bacon riots.


Be realistic he says, but brings up the topic of zombies.

I remember seeing a video and someone asked, "How do you kill a vampire?"
Guy replies with, "Holy water, garlic, and–"
Man interrupts and says, “It doesn’t matter. They don’t exist so you can kill them with whatever you want.”

101 creative writing.

So, where is my lazy gun and my purple unicorn, damnitt! I’m ready for this thing.



bitch post of the thread so far. making other people’s lives miserable because you are selfish. smh

when i get scratched, imma get my posse to wrap my hands and feet in duct tape so i can’t scratch anyone; put a welders or football helmet on so i can’t bite anyone; and write FREE HUGS on my shirt.

get some of this love


The one true plan

>sex zombie chicks


Let’s see…this is assuming I’m inside my home once it happens:

Well first, I’d find whatever I can around the house to board up the windows and doors to the best of my extent. I pretty much live on the outskirts of town (if you’ve ever watched Breaking Bad, kind of like the area they go to go and cook meth) so other than maybe some unlucky neighbors, there wouldn’t really be any of them wandering around out in the desert. Secondly, I’d wait a few days. Maybe three or four. Then, I’d get in my car and head over to the gun store. By this time, the owner will have taken with him what he wanted/needed and it will most likely be unoccupied. Obviously this owner wouldn’t have been able to take ALL of the store stock, so after hitting up the multiple gun/pawn stores around town I should be pretty set. Ammo can be aquired at Wal Mart, possibly. Gas would not be an issue, food could also be taken from the Wal Mart very near my house. So…

Unless the government decides to have the military wipe out any remaining lifeforms in certain areas of the country for containment or quarantine purposes, I’d say my chances of survival are relatively good.


Oh just play along and stop being a jerk D:

I’d probably die really fast honestly there isn’t anything around my house but woods so after I shit myself/run out of food/supplies there’s no way in hell I’m going in the woods to have some real life slenderman fun.


Just sit in my house. There have been a lot of studies that show a zombie “apocalypse” will not last long. Since I work in a state where any nut has a gun I’m pretty sure I’ll either get shot in 5 minutes because I was confused for a zombie or things will blow over because a majority of the population went “ZOMBIES??? WOOT!! GO TIME!!!”