So yeah, this is a new idea I just had. Sometimes I have an idea to write a shitty fanfic. But I don’t want to let go, sometimes. That’s where twenty-one minute stories come in; I allot myself 21 minutes to write a one-shot fanfic. Any fandom I so desire.
Shit, if you feel you’re up to it, dump your shit here too.
Sasuke is That Nigga
“Uchiha Sasuke… Nara Shikamaru…”
Tsunade’s eyes hovered over a sheet of paper while the two genin shuddered over the mission’s possible objective. Tsunade’s office was barely filled with her own personal relics, such was the quickness of this particular job after being sworn in as the Fifth.
“I hope to god that we aren’t going to cross international borders.” Shikamaru yawned. “That’d just be bothersome.”
“…whatever.” Sasuke groaned.
“Nothing like that at all, boys. I just phoned in with that ramen shack and ordered me some udon. They don’t offer delivery, so stat.”
“Don’t you think this is a misuse of your power, Hokage?” Sasuke let his head hang, emo as usual. Tsunade quickly extended her finger nail to his forehead and gave the poor boy a concussion. Shikamaru had to drag him all the way to the ramen stand.
“Sasuke, you know better than to fuck with her.”
“Fuck her. Fuck her and her tilapia cooch.”
“Tilapia cooch? That’s cold.” Shikamaru let himself think about the question delicately. The genin were currently out on a stroll to deliver Tsunade’s udon noodles, and a cloud formation in the bright blue sky looked like a pair of ass cheeks, which stirred Shika’s imagination. “Uh, speaking of cooch… you know, how many pieces of ass you can get right now man?”
“I’m just wondering what I’d do in your position, you know? You ought to prep time this delicate scenario carefully. You could have Sak and Ino…”
“I don’t care…I still have to kill Itachi.”
“What… not this ‘bros before hos’ shit again! For the sake of discussion, let’s just say that you killed that nigga. Then what?”
“…well, Ino’s a cute white girl. At least her head doesn’t look like Krang from the Foot Clan. But they’re both psycho. Total issues.”
“Hmm.” Shikamaru pondered. “Are there any girls in this village who aren’t fucked up?”
“Tenten’s the only sane bitch here. But she’s dyke.”
“True. Try and imagine that shit, Sas. Imagine that shit late in their lives. Tenten’s working her 9-to-5, gets home, expects a steak on her plate and a dolphin buffet in bed from Sakura. What she gets is fishsticks and half-aborted octopus. Tenten beats the everloving fuck out the girl. Peace.”
“…That imagination’s too vivid, yo.” Sasuke declared. Suddenly, the LAPD pulled up behind him, lights and sirens blaring. SWAT team in riot gear started pouring out of clad iron vehicles.
“Sasuke…what the fuck?!”
“PEACE NIG!” Sasuke fled.