VS Drama -or- Ken's Just Chillin'; Shiiieeeyt

All was well with Ken Masters. The sun was shining, the wind was brisk, and even the grass felt nice. Ken was outside, paying close attention to the final preparations for tonights gala. A new SNK vs Capcom tourney would be held soon, and he had fully expended his weekend budget to throw a party in the tournaments honor in his personal ASTRO DOME. He had it all planned out; he would build a rave floor for the hip youngsters, an ornate dining hall, and he would even allow his guests access to his sacred sanctuary; the SHOTOPIMPS LEGION OF DOOM PLAYERS CLUB. Tonight would be a memorable night for all.

Hey, dad! Ken heard the familiar voice of his son Mel beckon him. I just broke Seans shoulder! Look, its gushing blood!

In a minute! Ken had let Mel train with Sean a week ago, and he was already working his way up to breaking Seans shoulder. First it was his foot, then his ankle, then he went all the way to tearing Sean a new asshole. Sean wouldve protested the harsh treatment Mel gave him, but he too wanted access to the SHOTOPIMPS LEGION OF DOOM PLAYERS CLUB.

After this, those SNK heads wont be calling us Crapcom anymore. Ken basked in the glory of his ASTRO DOME. A truck pulled up next to the DOME, and Ken ran up to its driver. Hey, Ive been waiting over an hour for this shipment! I was almost afraid I was gonna have to disappoint those KOF kiddies and tell them thered be no rave!

Sorry. We got held up at an anime convention. One of my guys is unloading them now. One of the deliverymen opened up the delivery truck from behind and released the cargo of roughly a hundred Azns, who brought with them DJs and E.

Good. No SARS? Ken asked. The driver shook his head. Great, so the raves on.

The casts of Capcom and SNKs fighting games all showed up at Kens SvC Chaos party. Even Magneto, Cable, Sentinel, and Storm made their own guest appearances, signing autographs and unloading CDs of their new platinum album. Most people mingled with eachother in the grand hall, which featured lavish Baroque-esque decorations. The Capcom and SNK sides got together quite well, contrary to what the Internet fanboys and tabloids would have you believe. At least…at first.

Sagat flung open the doors of the DOME with great anguish, and walked as a goliath, leering with his one eye at the guests. He was accompanied by Balrog, who carried on his back a giant slab of meat.

When am I gonna get to drop this shit? Its heavy as hell. Sagat didnt say a word, and Balrog followed him into the dining room, and into the kitchen. He paid no attention to the surprised cooks or the patrons dining outside; he motioned for Balrog to tie the slab of meat onto the ceiling. Relieved he was no longer carrying the colossal bovine flesh, he found a hook protruding on the ceiling and attached it onto the meat. Sagat motioned Balrog aside, and he began to punch the would-be-steak relentlessly.

Uh…Sagat…those are boxing jabs. I thought you were muay thai?

You see what they turned me into, Adrian?! Sagat spoke for the first time after an awkward silence, and he appeared to have Sylvester Stalones voice.


SNK did this! They turned me into Rocky, Adrian! But the worst part was, they took away my crouching fierce! Sagat crouched, and powered up all the energy he could muster into his fist. He finally let all of his frustration go into one powerful blow…which merely swung the meat back. Did you see that?! Ordinarily, that meat would be knocked out, and I would combo my fierce into another fierce and not even Batman would touch me! But SNK had to go and fuck it up! FUCK SNK, and FUCK APOLLO CREED!!!

To Be Continued

Another BP fic. HOORAY!!:smiley:


Man, that was some funny shit!

Liked the part about Mel, Ken asking about SARS, and Sagat being turned into Rocky.

The funnist shit I ever read.:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

good stuff!

can’t wait to read the rest!

Down the hatch went a Baileys malt scotch, accompanied by a Cuban cigar and a dash of coke up the nose.

Iori, I swear to God youve become such an asshole. Kyo Kusanagi, the voice of reason, didnt condone of his bitter blood rivals insistence on drug use. Iori just sat on his stool at the bar in the underground rave Ken Masters had set up. You were really distant with everyone tonight. You even called Athena a fat fucking whore for shits sake, NO ONE has the heart to tell that to sweet little Athena. What the hell is wrong with you when youre calling the psychic schoolgirl goddess of war a fat fucking whore? You seriously need to learn when to JUST SAY NO.

Shut up man. You dont know…what its like. I cant get my Blood Riot going, so…I need some replacements. This Baileys right here, is like a substitute teacher in gym class. Like, a new substitute teacher. N00b. And like, shes dressed in a skirt because she doesnt have a jumpsuit, and wasnt prepared to sub PE. And so, like, she has to demonstrate jumping jacks and like, I can see her cooter…damn Im fucked up.

Fine then. But I hope you cant find a designated driver, so youll just wind up in a drunk driving accident. Asshead. Kyo slammed his fist on the counter and left, agitated.

…shows how much you know. Us alcoholics, we tend to survive…these car crashes. But I dunno if us cokeheads are … as lucky.

Im not sur-

Look. All you need to know is…1, 2, 3. Thats it.

You sound so confident. Too much so.

Trust me; have faith in the truth. Its 1, 2, and 3.

Um…okay. Mars People took in three deep breaths. 1, 2, 3.

Told you all you need is to chill out. Shuma Gorath slapped Mars People in the back with one of his tentacles. This partys hot. I just saw Mai Shiranui go down on Silver Samurai while drinking some cheap beer at the same time. It was like she was giving head to a water fountain, that shoots out beer.

…alright. Now I gotta be mellow enough to ask her to dance.

Ask who? Shuma moved his eye in every direction. The tentacled aliens were leaning on a pool table, deciding to relax for the moment and stalk their prey afterwards; this was now afterwards. I dont see anybody.

Her, with the blond hair. Mars pointed several of his tentacles at a small girl of short stature, trying to shoo away a Servbot whod been getting in her face.

Shes a robot, guy. Itd be really…yknow, weird for a robot girl to get boned by a big nutsack looking Martian. Whatll the kids look like?

Like…fuckin shotguns. Mars People laughed to himself, and in his mellow state of mind, finally got the reserve to go after this girl. He manuevered his way through the dancing crowd, narrowly avoiding getting his tentacles stepped on just to make his way to the other side of the dance floor, where she was stirring her martini.

Tap that shit down! Shuma cheered on from behind the crowd. Now halfway through the flesh mass, Mars People had penetrated the point of no return. Victory would be in his grasp now if he would only pursue further! It would be another minute of navigating through the pit of dancers, but Mars People finally made it. Standing before him now was the most beautiful woman hed ever seen.

…what is it? Megaman Zero asked the Martian. Mars People put his tentacles over Zeros shoulder.

You my girl now. Zeros eyes shrank.

What…in the…fuck…

LOL !!

LMAO!..poor Zero…or maybe poor Mars People:evil: