WAZZZZZZZZUPPPPPP! - The Martin Thread


#1

Thought this should be glorified. Martin was one of the best minority shows on its’ FOX run. 132 episodes of laughter. Said to only see it get to 132, but still, a great show. Any favourite eps? I’ll throw mine up soon.


#2

The episode when Martin was boxing and his head got all swollen in the end :rofl:
also the episode when martin went on vacation and he was fighting that fake ass rat


#3

I remember Brotha Man wanting to make a ‘wish sandwich.’ Shit’s still funny. :lol:


#4

Martin (To Biggie): “This here is my best friend, Tommy, and this is Man’s Best Friend, Pam.”

Martin to Tommy, about Pam (After the Crew finds Martin in a Church as a member of a Religious Cult): “…Tommy, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave your Donkey outside the next time you come here.”

Martin to Pam, a little later: “…Wait a minute, my Masculine friend…”

(Gina and Pam, after hearing Martin lie on and diss Gina on his Radio show, head over to Martin’s apartment)

Pam: “…We heard the show, Martin.”

Martin: “So what did you think about it, Sister Souljah? (Chuckles) I thought it was one of my best shows.”

Martin to Pam: "Girl, your hair is so nappy, ‘Wilson’ couldn’t ‘Pick it.’ (Wilson Pickett, an R&B/Soul singer)

(Pam is crying at a Soap Opera on T.V.).

Martin: “…Pam, could you cut out all the crying? I hate to see a grown man cry.”

(Pam is a Cowgirl for Halloween. Martin is Ike Turner)

Pam: "…And who are you supposed to be? ‘Lil’ Tyke’ Turner?

Martin: "…And you?

Pam: “I’m a Cowgirl.”

Martin: “Oh, you’re a Cowgirl? Well, you got the ‘Cow’ part right.”

(^Same episode–Martin announces to the Crew that he and Gina are about to move into their first House.)

Pam: “…Wait a minute, Martin. I know that you can fit into Barbie’s Dream House, but what about Gina? Now you know she ain’t gonna fit.”

Martin: "…That’s okay, Pam. You just mad because the only house you’ve ever had had the name ‘Rex’ on it. (Picks up fake Guitar (As part of his Halloween costume) and strums while singing “Rex don’t live here, anymorrrrre…”)

Martin to Pam: “…How come I’m the one that just woke up, but you’re the one with the Morning Breath?”

Martin to Pam: "Now see, I ain’t say nothing about those gaps in your mouth–Look like you need a sign that says “Next Tooth: A Mile.”

Martin to Pam (When he was filming his ‘Talk Show’ for his Audition Tape): "Ms. James, would you prefer to be called ‘Ms.’ or ‘Mr.?’

Pam to Martin: “…That depends, do you prefer ‘Jack’ or ‘Ass?’”

Martin (Through clenched teeth): “…Ve-ry fun-ny. Now, Ms. James, how about you tell the audience and the audience out there (T.V. viewers) about your life, as a Voodoo Priestess?”

Pam (Turns head and mutters “Girl, just hold ya tongue…”)

Martin: "…I mean, what is that? Some kind of Hocus-Pocus magic? Makes sound effects and says ‘Hold your tongue.’

Pam: “…Look, you better leave me alone or Imma shrink you, Martin! …Oops, somebody beat me to it, Webster.”

(Audience ‘Oohs’)

Martin: "…Well, as you can see, Voodoo women not only curse others, but by looking at Pam’s face, they damn sure curse themselves. I can tell by the hair on her forearm–Oh, it’s gonna be a Full Moon! Howls like a Wolf.

Pam (Drops Mic): "…That did it! I ain’t Gina! I ain’t Gina! (Pam tries to jump on Martin, but Tommy holds her back, while Martin leans back and falls in his Chair.)

Martin (After showing the Audition Tape to Mrs. Rodriguez, his prospective Employer): “As you can see, Mrs. Rodriguez, everything was going okay until that Female Impersonator (Talking about Pam) attacked me.”

(Tommy gives Martin an Eviction Notice that was taped to his Door)

Martin: "What’s this?

Pam: “It’s an Eviction notice. It was taped to your door…loser.”

Martin (After reading Notice, jumps up and groans): “…This is all yo’ fault, Pam! They don’t want me havin’ no Pets up in my place!”

(The Crew is snowed in Martin & Gina’s Apartment building, and they want someone to go get a Pizza)

Martin: “…The Pizza place is about 2 blocks away. Now, the only one I know that can make it in this Blizzard is the Abominable SnowPam.”

Pam: “Why can’t you go, Martin? I mean, we could get a Rubber Band and just fling your little ass over there.”

Martin to Pam: “…Pam, how much food do you got stored up in your Cheeks? I know you got some.”

Pam: "…Thats…very funny, Martin. I’m sure you have some Lucky Charms stored on you somewhere, you little Leprechaun. Yeah (Drops to the ground, imitating Lucky the Leprechaun)–“They’re Magically Delicious!”

Martin: "Imma go talk to Lopez, see if we can talk about this eye-to-eye.

Pam: “…Eye to eye? Aren’t you gonna need a stool?”

Martin: “…Yeah, Imma use the same Stool I used when I milked you, Elsie.”

Pam to Martin’s friend Reggie:

“…Don’t pay any attention to Martin. He’s a little slow–You see, his parents were cousins.”

Pam to Martin when he shows up at Gina & Pam’s house in his Mailman uniform:

"…Oh, look, Gina! It’s a Munchkin Trick-Or-Treater! “(Crouches, puts hands on knees, and sings) Trick-Or-Treat, you’re a slob/Did you lose another job?”

(Martin thinks that Gina is trying to divorce him and leave him broke, so he goes to her job and confronts her while she’s giving a meeting)

“…Gina, I know about you and the Lawyer, tryna run away together with all my money!”

Pam: “…With all yo’ money? Broke as you are, they aren’t gonna run very far!”

Martin: “…I wasn’t talking to you, Janet Jackass.”

Pam to Martin: “I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to work in Television. I mean, be for real–Look at you.”

Martin: “…And it doesn’t take a genius to catch a Frisbee in your mouth, now does it, Queenie?”

Pam (Chokes Martin)

Martin (Toasting Pam & Luis at their ‘Wedding’ Reception): “…I just wanna congratulate Pam & Luis on their marriage. And for those of you who are confused, Pam is the Bride.”

Gina: “Martin…”

Pam: “Oh, don’t worry about it, Gina. I mean, Martin climbed all the way down off that Wedding Cake to make this toast.”

Mr. Phillips (Immigration Officer) to Pam & Luis: “…And how long have you two been together?”

Luis: “Six months.”

Pam: “Five years.”

(Both answer at the same time)

Mr. Phillips: “…I’m a little confused here.”

Luis: “…Well, we’ve known each other for six months, but it feels like five years.”

Martin: “…And that’s because being with Pam is like doing hard time.”

Pam (To Mr. Phillips): “…Oh, don’t mind him, Mr. Phillips, he’s just a little angry. He was too short to be our Ring Bearer! (Tells Martin to ‘Shut up’ through clenched teeth)”

Martin to Tommy about Pam: "Tommy, you better check your Pet, aight, before I put the Tazer to her like that–BAM! (Martin hits the floor like he’s been paralyzed from the waist down–You’ll have to see it to know what I’m talking about, but it’s hillarious. I cry laughing everytime I see it.)

(The Crew is about to head up to Tommy’s rented Cabin for a Ski Trip)

Pam to Martin: “…And what are you gonna use for Skiis? Two Popsicle sticks?”

Martin: “…Very funny. But I’m gonna have to tell you before we get to the slopes to keep your mouth shut. I don’t want you melting the snow.”

Martin to Pam: “You better leave me alone, Pam, with your breath smellin’ like Train Smoke.”

Martn to Pam: “Aretha Stanklin.”


#5

:rofl:
:rofl:

:rofl:


#6

Martin, along with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, are why I love black people so much.

I wanted to bang Pam, was I wrong for wanting to do so?


#7

YES

that bitches face looked terrible, she did have an ass though

gina is where its at, she could get it


#8

Holding up 4 fingers, “From the fif floor.”

Apple head.


#9

lol…i wish i had some meat to go with it :rofl:


#10

Martin is a black tv show.


#11

^
http://forums.shoryuken.com/showthread.php?t=147426

this coming from a guy who wears Willy Wonka-inspired Mascara, a broken Virtua Boy helmet, and a pair of ripped, semi space-aged tights, stolen from a actor at a Power Ranger mall appearance. Please work on your material or play the washroom game.

The Lottery Episode owned Martin hard. He got like 500 dollars… or something.


#12

Big Sheerly is where it’s at.


#13

Yeah, she had ass. That is all I need.


#14

oh damn martin run! its SHANAYNAY!


#15

Nothing can beat:

Martin: Bro’man! it’s 3 in the morning! What are you doin’ up in here?

Martin: I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?

Brother Man: Yeah. I had a dream one time. I was climbin’ this fire escape, and I couldn’t make it to the top. So I climbed through the window of this fly ass crib!. With a big see-thru 'fridgerater. It was full of sammiches! But… , but… I couldn’t open the door Martin! So I just stood there and cried man. Oh yeah! Bro’man cried.

Brau’h Man killed every episode he was in!!!:rofl::clap:


#16

Yay!

"Let me tell you about my girl Gina!!! Gina worships the ground I walk on!
I say “Jump Gina!” she says “How High”

I tell her “You betta watch your head cuz you going to the moon”

and who could forget

“You so almondy, I think Ima call you almond joy!”

people don’t realize it
but Martin is really one of the most quotable tv shows ever


#17

Otis getting tazed kills me every time


#18

I got season 1-3 on DVD for Christmas. Shit’s too damn funny.

My fave episode was the one where he was under the bed and thought Gina was cheating on him. That might be my favorite episode on any TV show('cept for a select few from Fresh Prince :rofl:).


#19

DAMN GINA!!!

But yeah, Dragonfly Jones was too good. :rofl:


#20

yo breath stank.