Women Finds Spider Eggs In Groceries


#1

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/sep/09/essex-woman-eggs-most-venomous-spider-shopping

Spider eggs give you spider powers!

Also this banana spider’s bite can give you a erection…clever name.


#2

I knew a guy who worked at a tescos warehouse who died after getting bitten by one of these things, if I knew he went with a smile on his face I woulda showed up to the funeral and trolled the fuck outta it.


#3

When I worked at Costco back in the day, when we got tropical plants to sell, occasionally you would get some praying mantis’ with some of the plants. We roped off a little area, and made them fucker’s battle, gladiator style.


#4

There was a fun story a while back here of a dead mouse found inside a sausage.


#5

Remember, if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, seek medical attention.


#6

reminds me of the worm I found while biting into an apple I bought at Save-a-lot.

I no longer save a lot when buying produce.


#7

Reminds me of a joke.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Spoiler

The Holocaust.


#8

no, its finding a worm in your apple after you ate it all


#9

No, it’s finding half a worm in your apple after you ate ti all.

:tup:


#10

Apple is a metaphor for your spouse…


#11

Why so Siri?


#12

Peanut butter.

There I win this thread.


#13

Peanut butter and banana spider sandwiches.


#14

So a Doctor can give you a High Five.


#15

The erection bit is way out of place; she can’t even have one.


#16

I am fucking mortified by spiders, since I was a kid.

But I think scorpions are awesome.


#17

Still not as slow and painful a death as when Brazil’s football team was stung by Germany.


#18

She did the wrong thing. She should have burn the house down like the other people did. Fail!


#19

Or at least shot the bananas with a shotgun…MURICA


#20

And all of a sudden fruit sounds not good. Why does the spider have to have red fangs… Why are spiders such pieces of shit. And why do spiders and scorpions have to reproduce in such disgusting ways… Who though creating these creatures were a good idea?? You only hear bad stories about them. You never hear like banana spider saves child from burning building. Or hey dude take my pet banana spider as a wing man, he will help you out if you know what i mean ;). What shitty creatures >:(