Wow, I cannot believe my mom stooped so low

My mom called my doctor and said to him "What’s the most accurate measurement for weighing?"
The doctor said "An underwater weighing test"
And just like that, my mom said “Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?” and the doc said “Today at 2pm.”

So, I didn’t bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants…Ugh).

My sister said “Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?” The doctor said "No."
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it…but I didn’t.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to troll SRK but if you do, why don’t you do a better job of it?


. . . I don’t think he’s trying to troll. . .

not enough emojis 0/10

I really hate the word “emoji”.


Cool story.

Whatever. Asian Women

The doctor didn’t hold you underwater long enough if you’re still breathing.

I really want pizza for dinner, but I had a burger for lunch and I don’t want to disrespect my toilet.

142 days til Mr Olympia 2016 guys

Fuck your toilet, get a pizza with hotdog in the crust and annihilate that shit.

Kagamean avatar looks like it was downloaded back in 2006.

0/10 would not save to pictures folder.

Sure is copypasta around here.

Is your sister hot?

I’d bet your favorite snack as a kid was paint chips.

@“Tekno Virus”


I miss your mother.

your mom

not wearing stopwatch